#selfimprovement #selfdevelopment #mentalhealth
Critical parenting is identified as punitive or authoritarian, where a caregiver is more likely to use belittling or criticism, or to be unduly harsh and negative towards their child. Hostile parenting from caregivers typically includes those who are image-obsessed, achievement-driven, and narcissistic. They value compliance and obedience with little nurturing toward the child’s emotional development.
Authoritarian parenting can affect a person globally, including, in some cases, their attachment style and higher risks for developing anxiety and depression. Psychological and emotional abuse and neglect in childhood are known predictors of developing a fear of rejection in adulthood, which can negatively impact a person’s adult relationships.
For example, those who experienced critical or rejecting parents who were highly judgmental, achievement-driven, or emotionally abusive often become highly anxious in their adult relationships, are preoccupied with fears of abandonment. Similarly, adults who experienced punitive parenting as children are at an increased risk for developing an anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment style where a person may not know whether to approach or push away those in their life
-Overthinking and catastrophizing.
Growing up with punitive parenting can create fears of making a mistake which may lead to rumination (overthinking and catastrophizing). For example, a disagreement between partners may trigger fears of abandonment, which may create a pattern of catastrophizing the disagreement in terms of a “worst-case scenario.” Instead of looking at the situation for what it is, a person may overthink their partner’s behavior. In extreme cases, this can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where catastrophized thoughts lead to behaviorally enacting them.
-Inability to feel safe in relationships.
Disturbances in attachment often begin in childhood when there is a mismatch between parents’ attachment style, their ability to bond with their child, and the child’s basic needs for safety and belonging. These disturbances often impact a child’s basic needs for safety and security. As a result, some adults with histories of critical and abusive caregivers become more anxiously attached or avoidantly attached, which generalizes to how they interact in their romantic relationships. There is often a split between seeking constant reassurance and affirmation that they will not be abandoned and pushing away out of self-preservation.
-Feelings of unworthiness or not being “good enough.”
Experiencing chronic criticism or a hostile childhood environment can condition a child into wrongly believing that nothing they do will ever be “good enough.” This can negatively affect a child’s developing self-esteem and sense of value. Hearing cruel comments such as, “What is wrong with you?” or “Why can’t you do anything right?” can condition a toxic inner critic where they grow up believing they are damaged and unworthy of love. Fast-forward into their adult lives, and many struggle with a constant need for validation from their partner. They are hyper-sensitive or avoidant confrontations and internalize relationship struggles as something being “wrong” with themselves.
15 окт 2024
