The Urge to Steal a Sign. (r/MeIRL) 

2/3 of the way there to uploading more in the past 2 months then I did in all of 2021. This is going to be an ok year... I hope.

As a Gas Station Clerk, the “Transaction Cancelled” just means we are just fixing your mistake because we DO NOT want to have to interact someone either.

Fun fact: The doors to balconies and terraces in Germany, can often also tilt, just like the windows. (^^)

Fun fact (I guess): If a Mountain Lion is planning on attacking you, you'll never see it coming. They'll silently stalk you and then pounce on you. If they show themselves to you, they're trying to scare you away from something, usually cubs, so just slowly leave in the opposite direction.

“30 million extremely loyal friends” *smacks lips* Thats a larger military than any in the world.

I feel terrified that Oz is in fact not just some twink that parrots back every mood I've ever felt and is in fact, exactly my height, and could easily sock me in the throat because I made the effort to try interacting with someone for once

I love it when Oz gets dark and serious and then goes back to goofy Reddit stuff. What a twist.

I think that the trope that vampires are always wealthy is to set them apart from mosquitoes. Make them distinguishable from leeches wearing human skin.

"A loyal friend group? I don't even have that with the friend group I have" God man, that's so depressing with all the drama about illuminaughtii cominf out. Lot's of hugs Oz.

If there is one thing I like about OZ from most other meme channels is he usually is really chill for the most part giving such a vibbing atmosphere. Then all the sudden he purges the heresy of silence with a sudden explosion of chaotic screaming. It's fantastic.

Oz is 6'4"?! I always imagined him as like a 5'6" gremlin man, and this dude is over half a foot taller than me

As someone who is dating a German, can I just say those windows are indeed dope. Seriously, they open inward, so no lunging out your window or bug netting that gets in the way. AND you then have the upward one, so no space is taken up! I fucking love them, the windows I have in England are shite and the window, the pissin' wind! It can slam some builds of windows shut! THEY'RE WIND-OWS! THEY GET THE OWS FROM THE WIND, THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!! Also, ditto on the dead dog birthday. I think it was my 21st, dog died AND I got evicted.

I was in Walmart one time and while using the bathroom i saw this thin plastic sign posted. It read "shoplifting is a crime" and i decided in that very moment that the only thing in my life I'd ever shoplift.. was gonna be the sign that told me not to shoplift. So i carefully ripped it off the tape it was hung on the wall with and every time i saw a new one posted i would take it. I have about 6 of them still in my storage somewhere. My friends that worked at Walmart thought it was absolutely hilarious when i told them a few months after i got them because they had heard rumors in the store of the signs going missing. To clarify, I've honestly never stolen anything from any actual store. But something about those dang signs telling me what to do... They inspired me.

“Someone needs to go wrangle the goddamn flavour goblin up at Oreo” 6:28

I absolutely love that at 11:20 Oz casually calls his own dad a freak of nature lol

Advice relating to that third post: Slowly walk away while maintaining eye contact and speaking loudly. It probably doesn't want to waste it's time on you so make yourself seem like your more than its worth. If you run, it can easily catch you. You also can't hide from it. But most likely, you can convince the buff cat into thinking you'd be annoying to kill for how much energy it could actually receive from you.

I like when Oz uploads, it's one of the only things that makes me happy these days Life is pretty harsh, but I always see myself rewatching his videos

“Money doesn’t buy happy-knees…” This pronunciation literally awoke me from my disassociation to write this comment.

"You're gonna manage 30mil loyal relationships I can't even do that with my small friend group" Hits a little different now

13:34 I actually met two public speakers who were the exact opposite. Lass and a lad respectively. The lad would start a talk with “good morning”, really loud (dude wasn’t obnoxious, he just talked loud). When folks cheered, he would get nervous and say “sorry, that wasn’t meant to spark enthusiasm, that was my not having volume control, but I’m glad you got the spirit”. Made me laugh. The lass, on the other hand, would start with good morning, then before anyone could cheer, she would say “you don’t gotta act enthused, first thing in the morning, y’all. No pressure, there’s coffee in the back.” Later I learned they were married! There’s two types of people, and I prefer them over the “you can do better than that” kind of person, those people make me wanna file my teeth.

When you realize that Oz, someone you find as a priceless source of divine entertainment, someone who is clearly a professional at what he is doing, is only two years older than you... You either start feeling old or like a failure.

This man brings one of the rarest things in the galaxy. True Happiness and Contentment. Even if it is short lived. If I could contain it would be a wonderful exhibit.

Chewing on the wooden ice cream spoon it's a fundamental part of humanity

There is nothing in this world better than hearing oz's voice being relatable. Maybe water. Or air. Ok a lot of things are better but this is still a blessing. Thank you

2:41 WAIT I THOUGHT EVERYONE HAD THOSE WINDOWS!? As a German, my innate sense of superiority has been reaffirmed once more...

"What is the opposite of pspspsps?" That would be called a .50 caliber machine gun, my dude.

2:42 I've seen this same window design used in apartment complexes in Russia. I assume they're pretty common in a lot of other European countries, because it's admittedly a very neat and useful design, especially for apartments.

When it comes to the 30 million friend argument we seem to be forgetting it would not be difficult to form an army

13:47 as a former hell worker(long story), I can confirm; hells are personalized, ironic, and quite karmic.

My mom always taught me "money dosen't buy happiness, BUT it dose buy you freedom of choise" no money alone wont make you happy but it will open doors and give you opportunities.

nothing gets better than getting home from school to see oz posted a video

I'm pretty sure the urge to steal signs is what got the Astros in trouble... 😂

We got these "german windows" here in austria as well and I've never known that other countrys don't have those

3:47 Oz you clever bastard. I've been j'baited, j'bamboozled, j'backstabbed and quite possibly played like a fiddle. Well played sir.

9:41 can someone explain? Is this just ordinary playground chaos, or is it the "before" picture of a horrifying news story I haven't heard of?

loving the more frequent uploads, I hope it means you’re doing well!

How vampires get rich: Step 1. Bite someone with a decent amount of money. Make sure you drain them dry so they can't come back for revenge Step 2. Rob them. Take all their cash and liquidate their assets. Step 3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you're filthy rich.

i have a friend who's in band and he's told our friend group about this one guy who i just call "the tuba man". he's like 6'10 or something (i forget) and strong as all hell because he carries a tuba around. as someone who's 5'4 the mere thought of someone being that tall is F*CKING TERRIFYING edit: tuba man is 6'8. holy sh*t.

"Someone should wrangle the goddamn flavor goblin and put him back in his forever box" belongs under the brand new sentence category.

As someone from Michigan, we also do the "well..." "S'pose we should head out" thing

I always say, money can’t buy happiness, but you sure as hell need money to be happy. I’m not sure if it applies to everyone but it sure as hell does to me

The Idaho/Utah “Whelp” energy is strong with this one. Also I designed a building for that submarine test place! It is a pretty crazy place!

12:18 He also delivers some of my favorite lines. "I love the simplicity of meteors. Boom. The end. Start again." "Whenever the Earth settles, God throws a rock at it. And believe me, he's winding up." "This is the best I can do. All of you, against all of *me"*

On the topic of wealthy vampires, I've got plans for a group of like 6 vampire friends getting together for an overday sleepover prior to watching a total lunar eclipse. 5 of them bring ornate coffins, one brings a heavy duty body bag like they use at crime scenes and natural disaster sites, citing budget restrictions making it impractical to transport a coffin across the ocean and 1.5 continents (basically from the middle east to Texas sort of trip) - not to mention it being significantly easier to explain having what amounts to a tarp with a zipper in your car than a freaking coffin (unless you drive a hearse).

14:00. I think they just like everyone to be enthusiatstic. Like in Spongebob "Are ya ready kids" "I I capn" I CANNOT HEAR YOU YOU IDIOTS!" "EYEYEYEYEYEY" Like that.

You already know I had to catch this on release! Man Oz really went in on that public speaker bit, you can absolutely feel the hatred for that shitty teacher

Honestly. If Oz had a cult, I'd dead ass join it

I think the appliance one is even funnier after you pointed out the guy that's off to the side. He's the host of the game show. That smug look is like he's saying, "Okay, you may be happy as **** that you could win a kitchen set, but will you be worthy enough to win it?"

Idk what about Oz makes his content so notable from other reddit readers... Incredibly quiet music and unedited pauses might be it. It feels kinda... Raw and dead, and i love it, especially fits the r/meirl topic. I hope you're able to make more of this ✨beauty✨ this year, best of luck

The lap slap as a signal to leave has definitely reached the Canadian prairies or at least it's reached Manitoba

Aight this confirms that guy's speculation of Oz being an Alternate.

I agree with the misery birthday one. One birthday, I've gotten a haircut. The gifter thought it was a good idea to lop my hair off to get donated to Locks of Love, and I couldn't turn it down because of the whole 'obligatory gift generosity' bull. Afterwards, I just end up with hair in my face for the longest time. Ever since, I only consider it a good birthday if I don't get forced into doing something nice and suffer for the rest of the month for it.

1:47 How did they expect that to work? 2:43 Holy crap! I lived in Germany for 6 years as a young child and I didn’t know that! 6:19 Someone over there is insane 8:49 The hedgehog is angy 9:36 I've never watched the film, but I have seen that part. Brutal 14:34 Yeah

0:24 Noticing that the alien sounds way too much like Bill Cipher adds an interesting extra layer (or dimension, perhaps) to this clip.

two things, 1; my house in Britain also has one of the windows like in the german meme! 2; our good bye is like a Midwestern goodbye except we slap out knees and say "right"

Oreo's flavor goblin is a trickster god wreaking havoc and causing chaos among the mortal masses.

you laugh, but lurking in each other's doorways is how my sister and i gain confidence over the other

"Bullshit sliding windows" 😂 Yeah, I believe most of Europe has these "wizard" tilty-openy windows nowadays. And many garden/backyard/balcony doors can do that too. I have a door just like that in my room. 😂

3 friends is a blessing. 30,000,000 friends is an obligation I am not committed enough to fulfill.

Oz! I can't comprehend this! I was expecting one video! I can feel my soul exploding due to your well edited and hilarious videos!

I really love all the little skits you do with mini oz, Mac sauce, etc. your videos as a whole are genuinely enjoyable, but the skits are an extra sprinkle of joy on top.

8:35 I can confirm that it is common to go full beaver mode on those sticks

Regarding our cool German windows: In praxis they're actually way more inconvenient than a sliding window. Put it in tilt doesn't give the room enough air exchange, to for example avoid air humidity peaks and mold. It is common, in high humidity homes, that the wall above the window tilt starts molding. If you want to have a real air exchange to let humidity out, you have to open it all up into the inside of the room. Now if you have plants or decoration on your window sill, that's gotta go before you open the window, otherwise you will sweep all of that on the ground. Also: tilted windows are a death trap for cats. Every year many cats get seriously injured or die when trying to jump out of the tilted window and get stuck. Their organs then get crushed and it isn't uncommon that they will try so hard to free themselves (which they can't), that they'll rip out their own claws, which then leaves a blood smeared window and a dead cat for the owner to find when he comes home. That's why you have to buy special metal grating fence things to screw next to every window, both sides, you plan on putting on tilt when you own a cat. Otherwise you may not leave the room with the cat and the tilted window, or you risk your car getting killed. This is such a common accident, that it even has its own name: tilted window syndrome. With sliding windows, just slide them a bit for little air, slide them all the way (one hand move) for a lot of air. And the window sill can stay as decorated as it is. Also, no cats can get harmed by it.

About the Windows. We have them in Poland too, and I kinda don't imagine my life without them like this

Fun fact: that “midwestern” thing is also called “the Atlantic goodbye” in Canada. Might also happen in the western portion of the country but I haven’t been there.

8:51 Making me think of that “Shaka, when the walls fell” from Star Trek TNG

Ozzy making every thing great by having a consistent schedule

My cousin, a couple of ours, and myself stole a detour sign and put it in a hotel elevator once

That last part was like *HOLY SHIT **_how deep does your grudge go?!_*

I have cheese cake and hang out with my only 2 friends. Since our birthdays are so close we end up just like picking a day near Christmas and give each other 1 joke present each, followed by getting really drunk and eating a metric fuckload of cheesecake

I like how he went to being worried for Mini to yelling at him about his card choice in cards against humanity.... also is Mini Oz's son or a miniature clone like Mini me from Austin powers

The window designs are very common in the rest of Europe. And the best part is!: when one of the hinges is defect or you twist the handle a certain way when it is (almost closed) in tilt, then you can have it hang on just ONE hinge!! (Dont do this it will break the whole damn window if you try it on purpose) Scared the crap out of me when i went to open the bedroom window in my old apartment

7:53 is an absolute mood. My mom was in the hospital on my birthday (it was last month) Every year I just eat cake & go out for dinner. But even this seems too be asking for too much & leave the flavor goblin at Oreo alone

5:10 dutch person here, we just go 'you guys won't need another drink i assume' or say 'Im about to start making dinner', its kinda a way to say 'its been fun but I'm tired now okay'

7:40 JEEZUS, man! and I thought my christmas was bad when they got me a sleeping bag

oz saying 6'5 minimum is crazy like he didnt do the pokemon smash or pass and almost entierly base it off of height

I have been reaching my breaking point and I was worried I was gonna snap, this helped me feel a little better so thank u Oz :)

Playing cards against humanity with Oz, Mini, MacSauce and a mole person is my idea of heaven.

10:05 "Blowing up a bathroom" in the context likely meant he was about to take an absolutely massive shit.

4:17 Group chat "Yo i need to pay my rent." Or "Yo you guys wanna buy a mansion and live together?"

The Germans gave their windows selective fire, shit has me dying.

A consistent uploaded schedule? I could never imagine this of Oz media

That thing Oz said at the end there sounds like something I'd say as my friends slowly turn their head towards me in absolute horror of my mental state.

As a Montanan, my deepest sympathies for you living in Idaho. Also, I am now realizing how much I do that "Welp" thing.

>tilting windows This puzzles, confuses, and enrages the American.

Oz's videos somehow never fail to make me laugh no matter how much I watch them, thanks dude!

Oz I need you to know that is a Cougar, not a tiger. They are two different animals in different families. Other than that great videos love that you are posting more.

6:58 yeah but it's even worse when they say it's funny and chuckle a little then choose some fucking card that doesn't relate to the prompt and was in no way comical

2:47 We got those all around western europe I think, in fact I'm in a room with those windows.

"It's just a reminder of my impending death." Jesus CHRIST, Oz. (Sorry about your loss, bro)

3:47 Anybody brave enough to check if the website exists? Because everything I know about the world says it should, and I don’t wanna experience that myself.

We are getting spoiled by you for content and I love it.

I too am an avid enjoyer of stealing signs.

"someone needs to go wrangle the flavor goblin up at oreo and put him back in his forever box" is not a quote i thought i would hear today

5:38 Fun fact, that map is from XKCD and if I recall correctly the punchline is "Alaska and Hawai'i got mad about always being left out, so they started circulating 41-state maps", and indeed, seven states are missing.

10:49 This is confusing to me on so many levels, but mainly, IN WHAT WORLD IS 6 FEET *SHORT* ? How tall is she? I don't care that her minimum is 6'5. If she's looking for someone she'll probably never find, that's her problem. But 6 feet is tall. I don't know a single person taller than 6'3. Most people I know are under 6'0. Average male height in most of the world is shorter than 6'0. Find a different adjective, girl. He is not short.

4:57 im that kid but just so the fucking teacher doesn’t inquire more into it, say something along those lines and they eat that shit like rich people with caviar

He sounds even more deranged than the last time and i cant tell if its a good or a bad thing

These occasional visits from Oz always make a day better

this man predicted the worlds reaction to aliens 😅😂