Melissa two things can be true at the same time. You can be interested in something that you also don’t condone. You ever watch a murder mystery and find it intriguing? That doesn’t make you ok with murder...it means you find it interesting. People tend to have a hard time holding two seemingly conflicting ideas as true. Liking something or finding interest in a story doesn’t mean you condone it. It means you think it’s interesting and that’s it. Their story isn’t for you to condone, it’s simply their story and they’re sharing it with you. I agree with kev! This absolutely shows growth and evolution as a person to be able to say while I wouldn’t do this, I respect this as their story.
I come from a similar story to "Cheat Code." My parents were married for about 14 years when my dad started up an affair with a co-worker who was also married. Mom packed herself and us 3 kids up and left. They eventually divorced. Dad married the co-worker he had the affair with, and they have been married for 40 years now. Mom eventually moved on and got in another relationship that led to marriage. She's been with him for about 35 years. So the second marriage worked out better for both of them.
I always think about the innocent kids that have their worlds turned upside down because of adult decisions. That's the hardest part of these stories. Thanks for sharing.
Adults should be able to communicate "I am unfulfilled or unhappy, or beginning to have different thoughts regarding our marriage"...they should be able to offer exploring different channels to keep them together or decide mutually to part ways...NOT CHEAT AND HURT PEOPLE AS A RESULT OF SELFISHNESS!
I don't view this as a pure church based podcast/video. I am non religious and I love you two. You have awesome values that I appreciate. Putting on the couple that cheated and broke up their marriages won't hinder your podcast because you will bring them on as a learning experience. Your values will show through with your questions and comments. I don't believe you will say or do anything to hurt their reputation either. Cheating in marriages happens. To have a different perspective is great. Also accepting people for who they are without judgement is a wonderful value (or would that be moral) to have.
I totally agree with Kev to where Melissa should take the "Ask A" approach. You don't relate to them, but you're interested with simply learning about their lifestyle. I think the episode with them should be themed around the warning signs of an affair or what I wish I did before I had an affair (like what they could've done instead of cheating).
I say do it. Have them on the show. I think everyone has a story that's valid, even if it's controversial or unpopular. If nothing else, theirs might reinforce my own perspective
I've watched 2 episodes so far and I have questions and judgments galore so I say get them in here. From the beginning I hear what Liss heard that made her feel bad for even listening because they definitely romanticize the hook up. Dude met this chick when his wife was pregnant with twins and the chick knew about the brand new babies when the affair began. I'm judging...
Melissa I hope you know how much you mean to so many people. When you said “my overly deep emotional mind” I felt that in my spirit! There was another video where you talked about not going on your friends podcast because you didn’t want to change the mood and I completely understood what you meant. Thank you for making so many of us with deep emotional minds think harder, challenge our beliefs, and live honestly. You truly are a gem💎
That message from Alexis Fields though!🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 More of an acceptance rather than a discovery... Man! That is beautiful. She was right, you are helping and inspiring so many of us! Thank you!❤️
Divorce, cheating, abuse, toxicity, etc can all apart of human relationships and marriage. People’s Love Stories can be built out of the mud. We can’t just see love through rose color glasses. Everyone does not have a pretty story. I appreciate you showing various origin stories. Even like Adrienne and Israel
I can't believe Melissa is thinking contemplating on this story, it would be a great story I'm sure I mean people interview guest all the time it doesn't mean the interviewer agree with their guest views. I for one would like to hear the story especially hearing the couple have very interesting perspectives on how and why they made the decision that would change not only their lives but their family lives forever.
Cheat Code was weird for me. My husband and I listened earlier this year and whew! But I'll say that they've gone on other podcasts for a debrief. Black Millennium Marriage Podcast had them on and it almost came to virtual blows lol. So look for that episode if you want differing opinions on their tale, ep 90 and 97!
I went and listened to that podcast, it was so interesting!! I’m married and sent it to my single friends and they said it triggered them and didn’t want to listen to it, I think it would interesting to have them on the show!!
All you (Melissa) regarding your faith lifestyle...is always in the forefront of my mind when considering posting content. So, I understand your position.
In regards to what you were saying about doing the fashion lookbook for what you wore to Napa Valley, keep this in mind when you feel like an imposter. There are plenty of people who specialize in doing look books, and those people have their platform. What makes it's so beautiful about people wanting you to do a lookbook is that they want to see YOU! There's nothing imposter about you being you. So, if you chose your outfits in the way that you are saying, people are going to love how you present your train of thought and how you decided on your outfits.
I was cheated on and they ended up married. I would never condone cheating. I haven’t been in a relationship in 9 years. That kind of pain destroys ppl. Thanks to this podcast and its endorsement of therapy I’m healing. But since you are a marriage champion I would reach out to them. Everyone’s relationship story is different including cheaters. You can want to know more about their story and share it without agreeing.
Oh soooo many lessons! Realizing my triggers are controlled/managed by Me. Grant myself Grace and move through it whilst healing Me. I love y’all. Waiting for your book.
As a married woman and what the covenant of marriage means to me as a Christian is completely understand your feeling toward even giving these folks time but what can be learned if anything. This is appreciate about you, you have values morals and your belief and respect to others that do. Thank you
I think that the podcast y’all are mentioning is someone’s story. The same way as a black woman I want to see representation, people that start relationships in affairs can desire the same. Pre-therapy I would’ve judged them too, but now that I’m more understanding, I get them having a podcast. “It happens everyday and people wanna hear about it” **Betty Wright’s Voice**
I think you should reach out to them because like Kevin said it would challenge the beliefs of not only you but a lot of people that follow you guys. I think as long as it's a safe space to have a discussion I again agree with Kev and saying that you may not agree with the lifestyle but you're open to talk about it and I think it would widen your platform as well just my thought.
I completely agree with you! Its a part of their evolution as hosts. You cannot always just have people that you completely agree with because you cannot evolve as a person if you automatically judge someone who is different from you. That's something wrong with our society now, if we don't agree with something then it's wrong period.
Melissa, thanks for mentioning The Cheat Code. I just finished the last episode. It was really good and thought provoking. I'm looking forward to hearing them on your podcast.
Okay...Lis you had me so intrigued that I went and found and listened to the podcast. I'm hooked! They are excellent story-tellers, but that's besides the point. Let me begin by saying, I am not married, but I do believe in the sanctity of marriage. Now, I listened with an open mind and heart and I appreciate their situation. They were both unhappy in their individual marriages but wanted to stay dedicated the the life and marriage they "built". What I found interesting is that they found out that their spouses were cheating BEFORE they consummated their relationship. Anyway...I think you should invite them to be on #TheLoveHour, you never know who they might help. Happy Holidays and God Bless!
My favorite love hour episode is "This is us, is us". I am pretty sure you guys have gotten this before, but a This is us review series would be great.
I feel like everything you listen to(or research) doesn't have to be put on a platform. You can listen to it for your own knowledge/interest. Also, ask yourself "why is this important enough to share?"
Lis, I was all for you inviting the couple on the podcast until you said they had kids and the wife was pregnant. My judgy side came out full force but I’d still watch........lol
Same and listening to the first 2 episodes of the podcast has only flaired my judgement more. TWINS, his wife was pregnant with TWINS!!!! And the side chick knew about it...I can't
As curious as I am, I’m gonna vote for NOT bringing them on. If there is a hint of “God brought us together”, I’m gonna have to repent for my judgy thoughts. 💯AND this show is bomb without promoting an anti-marriage narrative.
It’s not an anti marriage narrative though. It’s a “we initially married the wrong ppl and it got toxic” narrative. They are married to each other now. I looked them up.
I listened to 2 episodes so far and I'm judging. I hate the "sexy" nature of the presentation of a married man whose wife is pregnant with TWINS goes out to "see what happens" and meets a married mother who was to available herself. It makes my skin crawl...but I'm have to finish now.
Heres the thing. If you believe in soul mates then you could absolutely understand how to people got together and wasnt meant to be together. The problem is. Why arent people adult enough to communicate thay with tneir SPOUSE. DONT CHEAT LEAVE. For you to even be looking at someone other than your spouse shows that there is an issue and there are steps to cheating. Getting someones number, meeting up with them in private. You know where its heading just get a divorce.
I'm not sure why the first portion frustrated me so much. And it could literally be because I don't have a platform, but the hesitation about having them on is rooted in what ppl think about you? And im not oblivious to what that means. But anybody that knows this podcast and Melissa knows her heart. Idk... BUT I listened to the cheat code and I'd love to hear an intelligent conversation regarding their experiences
I agree with you. People who listen to the podcast know that Melissa is a marriage champion. If a person can’t handle the discussion, don’t listen to that episode. Sticking your head on the sand doesn’t mean these things don’t happen. Let’s have the discussion.
Kev, you a pro black brotha. You support other pod cast merch like 85 and rdc.Also, talk about black issues. Plus help other black comedians. Most importantly you a beautiful black fam. You are rare and few.
I understand Melissa's reluctant, but we watch this podcast because we love the genuisity and sincere podcaster. I understand also that she is herself struggling with it in her mind cause one thing black church ingrained in us is judgement, when God is love. Maybe we just struggle with stepping in truth without judgement. And also, the internet is a bully
Ooo Liss ain't lying. I have watched videos on others platforms and then read comments where ppl start coming up with different scenarios like, "she did this cuz..." or "He only said that because...". And I'm like, that's not what she did and not what he said. Wait, did I miss something? Have me rewinding videos. Ppl r crazy.
An episode with the Cheat Code couple could help a lot on people. Unfortunately it is a part of the FOR BETTER or WORSE. There would be no glorifying the situation just understanding how this happens.
Good job Kev on keeping your learned moral code to yourself. Y'all don't have to bring people on the show whom you're not sure you won't antagonize. Growth is beneficial but can be harmful when forced.
You should reach out to them! I listen to the whole thing and what I got out of it was just not the affair. You think its just 2 but it was all 4....which got me really thinking. What was going on in the marriages?! You had 4 people not happy. Jason clearly says he married the wrong person. And the woman I forgot her name but realized that she has trauma from both of her parents. She was seeking validation. I think this needs to be a conversation had. Again its more than the affair... Also have been loving the show!
I tried so hard to listen to this on A pple podcast and just couldn't do it; I have to see y'all. it gives more context to some things you are saying and it makes it funnier. I would have missed Kev's shirt off and Liss' amazing eye roll.
My exhusband cheated on me and our kids and then married his "married mistress" (she was cheating on her husband too)...They are trash! but it's their love story🤷🏾♀️ 🙄
@@bbanks8071 He betrayed the social agreement they had. He let them down and jeopardized their family structure by cheating. Now they don't have their dad at home because he wasn't honest in his marriage.
