Theo Finds Out Riley Has Never Masturbated / Golden Oreo 

This is painfully spot on

straight to the point and dry asf

🤣

😂😂

This hits harder rn lol

Dude sounds like an npc

It's the no fap dude...it clearly has some positive impact on him

@@Esteem3d don't think it's positive this dude boring af never heard of him

@@exicityyt5345 was being sarcastic

@@Esteem3d Ohhhh my bad

Good thing too because Riley's giving nothing

​@diabl2master Riley was the worst. Honestly I stopped listening for a while

I remember the time he broke Bobby Lee's anger by saying looking at Bobby is like looking at a yellow mirror

@@brtecson haha ffs 😂 savage cnut init lol

The routine is at least 100 years old. The straight man funny man routine

Usually the straight man knows his role though. It's so different with Riley cause it's so hard to tell if he's in on the joke or not.

​@@Aycheffe yah but this is funnier because it doesn't feel forced at all. of course, theo is carrying big time but the way riley answers like a bad AI is funny as well.

it’s obvious he’s lying and trying to keep his character

@@Rari77777 dude the world isn’t always trying to trick you, some things really do be how they are

@@Sahbab11 But sometimes, you think things be how you wish they is, but they just ain't.

@@genericusername8337 But sometimes you look for loopholes when you don't want to face your shame

@@genericusername8337 that’s fuckin deep

😆😆😆 Straight up, he always clapping back at theo with the one word answers

Hahahahahahaha

Or podcast gold, depending on what you like.

@@wowwhataworld.9590 lol so true. Maybe this is why Theo keeps him around

Theo tries so hard to get something interesting to come out of Riley’s mouth. This was the most interesting thing. Theo needs to unfortunately get someone to replace him. I mean a puddle would give a better conversation

Nah deadass,bro is the podcaster and the podcastee 😭🤦‍♂️🤣

He’s like the straightest arrow square that ain’t all there

He gets it...hes doing a bit.

What's the bit? To be as boring as possible? You can even tell Theo struggles at times with how one sided the conversation is.

@@FirstLast-sw1gx deadpan straight man

@@Lord_of_the_Pies well either he is depress or he’s actually doing a bit

To even think that a guy a regular randomly selected out of about 3 billion male populus on this planet above the age of 16 and to think he hasn't masterbated is beyond bonkers its nearly close to winning a lottery to find that 20+ years old dude who hasn't.

It would not surprise me if he later finds out he has some issues going on with his hormone profile that are less then ideal. But then again ignorance can be bliss, so more power to him if he truely is happy.

🤣

Theo: Damn

Lolll

Love thy enemy on display

Riley was absolutely the worst fit for that role. I have no idea why or how Theo ended up hiring him. There was always awkward off-putting silence (dead air) when Riley was producing, almost as if Rileys personality and artistic expression made its way into the show. I had to stop watching for a while.

hahahahaahahah the best line

I died lmaooooo

That shit is too funny

It's true though oddly enough

😂😂😂

Best comment i read in months

@@bobbob-ng2lnagreed🤣

🤣🤣🤣 I read this while trying to spread cold butter on toast and cried laughing

Damn I needed this comment well said!!!🙌🙌

!!!

That’s where I heard about this lol

Thought the same thing.

We don't think that deep over here bro, find another channel

Instead of "yes, and..." it's a lot of "no, can't say I have"

This comment is gold EXACTLY! 😂👌

....but he is improving.

No, but...

I think Rileys humor is very very dry lol

To be faire the elephant in the room is that he may have personal problems and do not want to talk about it publicly. That could explain why he is uncomfortable with the line of questions. But damn Theo is funny as!

that shit made me crack up for real

Maybe he is repressed

Folds them alphabetically

Sounds like Marie Kondo.

His beta levels are above 9000

low test is always sad in men

He really does, he seems so sexually and emotionally repressed

God does say dont masturbate so I would say hes ok with the prayers

@@rdrd9676 It's okay so long as a priest does it for you if I'm not wrong.

Honestly that is the reason why I think being celibate as a guy is stupid.

@@Andrew20pp Well that doesn't leave many reasons for women to if all the men aren't.

@@nardinit good they shouldn’t bother, they’ll regret it later unless they get lucky enough to only be with one person, which is nearly impossible

@@Andrew20pp if you’re celibate you’ll find a wife who is also you’re not going to shop the streets🤦🏻‍♂️

HAHAHAHAHAHA

I love Theo so much. He obviously knew he was lying so he kept pushing it 🤣

Well seriously. I think he is an alein. See not Alvin's are bad.

@@derekderek2570 WAS HE THO

I would too

bro he has to be mark zuckerberg dont even compare

Personality of a dead moth.

It kind of it makes it even funnier 😂

@@zachyurkus dead moths are all the rage I heard, come back as butterflies

@@Unxpekted True 😂. Dudes definitely ice cold, no way In hell I could keep a straight face like that with the shot Theo says 🥴.

To quote Don Rickles, "You got the personality of a dead moth."

Nothing about this says i know how to play poker

@@Doseofdeep it screams I have the potential to do

@@Doseofdeep He's always holding the nuts.

No he wouldn't. Obvious liar.

This dude does not have the balls to thrive in such a high stress environment, he would fold to every raise and play totally face up lol

I thought it was priceless

@@gustavofring8765 ohhhh-riceless

"Now cmawn man"

@@alexclark9386 💀

I died when he was like, maybe if there’s a window or something I don’t want to be right out front hahahah

😂 theos reaction always gets me watching this

@@davidriggs6526 that’s smart, opening the flood gates for the first time after that long could kill a man in close proximity

Helicopter parents. Yea thats not healthy for teens

I knew a guy like this in high school. He sat at my lunch table for a whole year and he legit never said a word to anybody not once unless you specifically asked him a question. I just thought he was weird at the time but looking back it makes me curious if he was in a similar situation.

LMAO

😂😂😂😂😂😂

It might not be as strange as you might think. Google ‘asexuality’. It’s actually quite common. Which is quite hard for all of us perverts to comprehend. But it happens ;)

You mean the other way around ahahaha

@@chrisheadcount9953 Being asexual has nothing to do with not wanking. Lots of people (specifically, billions) of religious people dont masturbate. It's more a western thing (tool to destroy white people).

@@simplelife88393 but those religious and "nofap" people still get horny, get erections etc. They just resist the temptation (or claim to). Riley is claiming that he never ever has sexual urges in the video above, which would point to asexuality.

@@StephenIC nofap is like AA. those guys went deep down that rabbit hole, then decided to stop.

I hope he's lying bc of not he's really missing out

We call it Low T.

Nah He eats his Kellogg's corn flakes.

Yeah, he should probably get his testosterone levels checked also.

Its one thing to will yourself to never do it, its a totally different thing to say u never get boners or excited. This can definitely point to some biological deficiency or childhood trauma

@@irreverevan7937 I believe you. What I'm saying is Riley saying that makes no sense in regards to his claim of never fapping. It'd be like someone claiming that they've never had a sip of Coke in their entire life but they also say they like Pepsi better than Coke because of better taste and increased energy improvement. Well, how would they know that if they've truly never tried Coke?

@@nigeldude yea you right.

This Riley guy might say he has more energy cause he isn’t fapping during later hours of nighttime which is when most people do it. So he goes to bed a lot sooner

Ahh a man of logic, I see

@@brysonbridges1496 how do you know when most people do it? Do all your friends tell you when they jack off?

Unjacksble cracked me up

💀

1:58

Hahahaha straight up

I know it's those random subtle burst of DAWWWWMMMMM. GAWWWD!!!

You call it emotional maturity I call it autism

Or lack of emotion

“You’re like ChunLi bro” “Mmmhmm”

Theo’s verbal anomaly is insanely brilliant. 👏

Bro off rip i was every step of the way in that sentence and thought he was gonna go with unicorn or something...this fucker called dudes a Christmas Carol Shows the difference between a normie brian and genius of a comedians brain

That was fucking magic, that.

He acting like he met the ambassador, so grateful. “DaNg”

I didn’t even know this was possible.

🏆 🥇

Medical condition

@@abd22slami68 it’s not

The dude Jack's it probably 3times a day

He definitely has 0 testosterone

its not that weird. if you never do it you never think about it

@@michaelkaiser6193 he never even gets a boner apparently

Pretty sure hes trolling theo

Meat up

I read this as I heard it and cracking up. looool

@@dailyscare3103 underrated reply

That’s what got me lmao

He's an actual incel haha poor kid man

That one got me, 😂

Exactly!

It’s definitely possible with low T levels

@@michaelsieger9133 nahhh

@@michaelsieger9133 at zero levels. He doesn't look like he has zero T.

What if he doesn't have a penis? Not even trying to be funny, It's possible that he was born differently

Well only outside the window ya know

lmaooo hes so funny

Hahaha

Lmfaooo

sometimes

From time to time

Wtf is this? Who is this dude? Is he Theo’s tech support or something? What am I watching?

@@seanmatthewking his cousin.

@@seanmatthewking hes Nashville Nick

Dude I dont think that Riley is even human 😁

I love him, he’s so deadpan and serious. Makes Theo have to think

They are pretty much polar opposites.

this guy has astronomical T u just jealous bro

@@bssmagik16 he's ascended

@@bssmagik16 indeed, it is very healthy to wake up with a erection, sign of good blood flow.

@@geraldfisher6475 same bro some days I struggle to put my shit down it's frustrating.

@@johnpulawski35 to the moon

Hand to God I read your comment as he said it and it was frigging dynamite 🤣

@@Ethiokarate1 let

RILEY MAO

And the unlaughable

Unfapable

Every “damn” he said sent me

Lolol

lmao i just died reading this

Literally best part

Theo has to overcompensate for how dull and vanilla the guest is being.

How could you not be. The unjackable Riley Mao said he doesn’t even get boners lmao

@@MrAjallday91 there's a guest there?

lmfao. i didnt notice until you said something

riley with a rare comedic setup there

Inspires me to not be like that what so ever

@@Doseofdeep I see “comedic genius” is not on your board of “things to do”. Good on you, bud.

Yeah right, every reply is like an automated NPC diologue

Like the guy in the Da Vinci Code

Hahaha underrated comment!

@@nathanking6670 lmfao

My best Asian best friend in high school would tell me he’s evil cos girls used to give him boners occasionally. Then he became a Born Again Christian and feels like his soul was saved. Difficult to believe he’s happy!

This comment is killing me 😂

Or are you that guy to the rest of the planet?

The last guy you would ever want to have your back in a bar fight

Asian people dont even care they got 1.6 billion people they could be boring with, if you knkw what im saying

@@RJ-is9ko so isnt that your friend getting stomped there? Dont you care? Cant say i do - Riley.

I thought he was just messing with Theo and at the end he was going to say "yeah, I don't poop either" but no... he was legit just straight up lying 😂

Innocent acceptance. I think I believe him as well though. Either that or he’s redirected all his jizz into manifesting an immaculate poker face… and nothing into becoming talkative.

kind of like how nobody ever questions Theo's stories but you can feel it in the air that they don't believe him half of the time

Would be weird to confront him about it. Considering how serious he was about it, it was probably best to just go along with it

@@hotsuin1 R I P Billy Conforto

Not really in interaction, it’s Theo saying funny shit and Riley giving 2-3 words answers.

@@TubaTones lmfao tru tho

Riley is an interesting character

@@wyparadiddle I’d rather watch paint dry. Boring AF!

@@wyparadiddle not at all

This is obviously a bit….

It’s called comedy man. It’s better to keep the lie going for more material

Funnier that he didn’t

How can you say that but also be a Theo Von fan, really think about that for a second. Who tells more unbelievable stories lol? Riley or Theo (I love Theo but come on)

@@BodieMoto great point 😂

oi dont dog riley 🙅🏽‍♀️

Well he is accurate. His wife is another damaged soul. Just how it is. Super introvert to a fault. Not the example you would want to be for your kids. Or they too would find the world super loud.

True, this guy seems like he literally lacks personality or characteristics

Cardboard has more personality

Nah even Flat Stanley yanks his bacon bruh

"THE UNJACKABLE RILEY MAO"

Front in line behind Jesus

Orientals aren't allowed in heaven dude

Nah general's of God don't lie all like that

Or maybe its something simpler, it rhymes with liar.. Anyone who doesn't wake up with wood under the age of 40 without a iron deficiency isn't to be trusted

😂😂😂😂😂

I’m dying 😂

HAHAHA

Best comment

I was watching that last night lol

I'm kamming in the gym I'm kamming at home with mai wife.. I'm in hheaven!

I just wanna know if golden Oreo is a thing

@@xxthecount48xxvoncount62 lesbians who've never banged a dude are known as gold stars

Yes. Riley is anti-Theo