Therapist Breaks Down Twilight | Gaslighting, Codependency, & Parentification 

Thank you!!! You’re the best!

For what ? It’s a movie about vampires 🤦🏽‍♀️ why can TV y’all just leave the past in the past

​@@joimonae4090thank u

@@joimonae4090you’re so emo and cool

I know!!

I noticed it at the time, and my old blog is still available. I had people calling me a hater who didn’t like romance since I was so vocal about the shit that is now openly discussed as problematic.

@@NoelleTakestheSky- That’s so frustrating. Romance stories can use problematic tropes and behaviour, that’s not the problem. It’s the narrative framing that is the problem. Want your character to gaslight their partner while being a stereotypical “alpha male”? Go for it, but don’t have the story constantly frame it as a normal thing in romantic relationships. Those people saying you “hate romance” for calling out problematic behaviour shows their illiteracy for media criticism.

Not really! According to this logic everyone on this planet has some issues and has gas lighted their partner. Sadly nowadays just for views psychologists have spread so much misinformation that it had ruined so many relationships(not just romantic). The movie never really justified that bad behavior rather it just showed the vulnerability as a human( the problem is people want this fairytale type perfect characters and story but that's so unrealistic and toxic because it sets unrealistic standards). You also need to remember that it's a love story between a vampire and a human, that's why it has that creepy part at the start to show the dynamics from that point of view. And when you love someone it's very natural to be dependent on them there is nothing wrong with that until your whole existence depends on the other person. People always say communicate with your partner but when they do people start saying it's gaslighting! Edward very genuinely loved bella and shared his insecurities with her that why he fears approaching her. The scene where bella tries to take her life, you will see that before that she was very heartbroken and depressed. It's actually a really good movie and the characters in the story... Of course it is a fantasy genre movie so a little bit dramatic also. People only hate this because it became a trend to hate it and nowadays people love a movie where no realistic communication happens, just a fake unrealistic he/ she said something and others just accept it. Using gas lighting words like that water downs its meaning! Having a conversation with your partner and genuinely convincing them by logic and where you come from is not gas lighting pls.

@@LoveYourself-my9nz - It’s okay to love Twilight, but saying it’s a good story with no problems, that people hate on it for views is close-minded and shortsighted. The fact that there are enough examples for people to make psychological critiques of the story means that there is some weight to what is being said. A lot of stories in the romance genre rely on tropes and interactions that ARE creepy and abusive in real life, but they keep happening in stories because people enjoy reading about them. But just because the story is enjoyable doesn’t mean the interactions aren’t problematic when you take a couple steps back. If Bella didn’t do the insta-love trope, plenty of Edward’s behaviours and dialogue would be considered scary. If you take away the romance framing and a relationship becomes a horror movie, then that is something to discuss. Again, like Twilight if you want, but don’t dismiss valid criticism of the writing just because you disagree with it.

Exactly!! After reading that in Midnight Sun it really shattered any shreds of #TeamEdward I had left

That’s so true he only likes her because he can’t read her 😂 wild

It always irked me that, whenever Bella made a joke, he acted as though it were the funniest thing he'd ever heard, but it was only because it was Bella making it. It's such a ridiculous and insignificant thing, but it grinds my gears haha

🤣🤣 I must have realllyyy been sleep reading midnight sun because.....how did I miss all this? Ive always been team Edward but midnight sun was just impossible to read

I don't really understand this. It's not bad, if one isn't physically attracted in the beginning is it? And I found, that he wasn't just in to her because he couldn't read her thoughts, that was only what sparked his interest and the he found her very beautiful and was fascinated by what she had to say. I still think he is super toxic in many ways but I sort of see that peculiaritie in a different light.

*Preach It!!!!!!!!!* 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

Parental obsession with monitoring their kids is literally just doing the same thing but to your kids. Controlling parents do nothing but make sneaky kids and good liars, bc it tells them they don’t trust you to make good decisions for yourself and that they are not a safe person to talk to if you DO have a problem. Only guarantees that if they ARE having a problem, you’re the LAST person they’re going to talk about it with. Signed, Someone Who Had an Intensely Controlling Mother and Now Has BPD

Yup. I talk to my daughter. She’s 13, and is very aware of older men liking minors (she’s grossed out by even a 19-year-old and 17-year-old), doesn’t see stalking as romantic, etc., because I talk to her. She knows about Twilight, Zodiac Chronicles, etc.

If your kid reads supernatural fiction and applies it to any aspect of their own life your kid has bigger issues that what they read and watch.

​@@marniekilbourne608 humans learn from stories, it's always been that way, it just so happens that our stories evolved to be entertaining rather than educational. which is why talking to your children about what they are watching is extremely important because whether you think it is logical or not, the ways our brains work often means that we learn even when we think we aren't.

Wow!

Ah me too unfortunately. After a few years of therapy and becoming my own person I've found a very happy and healthy relationship which I'm very lucky for

This is so real. I can 100% relate to this…

So glad that you like it! I am obsessed too!

​@@StephAnyaI'd love to see you do one of these on Divergent!

@@StephAnya I'd love to see you do an analysis of The Summer I Turned Pretty and Bridgerton!

What's a parentified child?

@@Chandelier175see the 4:17 part of the video

​@Chandelier175 She explains in the video that it is a child that has to take responsibility over either her younger siblings or her parents. That can be by being an emotional support to their parents adult problems, listenin to drama to help carry the emotional baggage, being in charge of the household chores, payment dates, cooking, taking care of a younger siblings instead of focusing on learning as a child, making sure their parents remember important dates and items etc.

@@staciegarcia7021 thank you 🍀🌱🌼

Yeah, I feel like this story would be so much better if it came with content warnings.

Pretty sure she's Mormon so that'd be why her relationship views are skewed.

She should realize how bad her take on relationships are the way Edward, Bella & Jacob behave this isn't romantic it's dangerous & unrealistic. What I do agree with Bella on is not liking her peers being in her face when she goes to her new school, they want to be in her personal business & she's like "Um piss off." If I could rewrite Bella should would be more like her dad aloof which brings them closer together, she's sassy, fiery, tells it like it is, she's not afraid to speak her mind. But she's secretly caring doesn't trust easily a person has to earn her trust & friendship when she meets Edward she can easily tell there's something off about him. She's not drawn to him but he does become drawn to her due to the fact that he can't read her thoughts & the smell of her blood he tries to get close to her but Bella isn't having it she makes excuses to keep him away from her. As for her relationship with her parents Bella resents her mom for keeping her from her dad her mom's a bit scatter brained & prefers to be with her bfs than being a parent to her own daughter Bella was forced to grow up fast. She asks her mom if she can visit her dad but her mom won't let her Renee feels like she wasted her youth marrying way too young while staying in a dreary town with her husband who's a cop & not having excitement in her life. She feels Charley was holding her back so she divorces him & to punish him she takes Bella with her even though Charley wanted to keep Bella upon learning about this as she got older this pisses Bella off she's tired of dealing with her mom's shitty antics & upon turning 17 Bella leaves Arizona to go stay with her dad. Bella & her dad are very much alike he's happy Bella wants to be with him their bond grows stronger as he teaches her how to shoot, fish, hunt things he's wanted to teach her growing up but never got to & now he's got his chance. This is just my input of how Bella Swan should've been in the Twilight books not this manipulating, selfish, girl who cares only about loving Edward for what he is & letting Edward control her life, Jacob forcing his feelings on her. My Bella wouldn't tolerate people encroaching in her space she would be a fighter.

​@@catspaw3092I lovvee this! Especially because I related to Bella a lot as a teen, it definitely informed some of my relationships until I was older away from my parents influence and boys influence and started going to therapy

@@silkandstones5964 I find myself speaking more about the naivety of someone who’d never been in a relationship putting all her eggs in one basket. Which is what she did. Regardless of if this was a fictional character or not, we as ppl pull from media especially when you can’t find examples in your real life

Aw thank you!! My obsession has gone so far past high school haha. Midnight Sun gave so much more insight!

Thank you!! The next one is fulll of terms so bring a dictionary 😅😂

It’s coming!

Thank you for explaining that!! That sounds really interesting. I'm definitely going to watch it.

That's where "gaslighting" comes from.

Thank you so much for watching! I relate to all of what you said and a big part of me is still obsessed. Happy to continue!!

Aw I hope it helps! I was definitely blind to it at that age.

Ahhh I weirdly thought that he was sexy (in the movies) and imagined that I had a super hot stalker vampire boy friend hangin up in trees w me and stalking me. Then later I got into a situationship just as bad if not worse lmaoooo I’m glad you didn’t like it

Love the balance!

I think that's a great way to deal with these books, as I loved them too. Now I see many of the toxic things and how they should have approached it instead. Also how easy it can be to see the things as romantic and charming. I wonder about Stephenie Meyer, you ok girl??

5th grade tho lol nahh

It is!

🤗

Makes sense! So glad that you enjoyed the video though ♥️

I read the whole series in three days *because* I didn’t like it.(Speed reading for the win!) I wanted to read it to relate to my friends, but knew even before I picked it up how much I couldn’t stomach vampires and blood and weird obsessive relationships.

Haha! I hope this brought you joy

At this rate I’ll be reviewing your work soon! Super cool.

@@StephAnya Haha maybe one day! Hoping to keep creating good guys though

Happy to do green flag videos too! We need more healthy examples.

Got it!!

omg yessssss

Started working on it today, and JEEZ! I'm noticing so much more. It may be a long one.

Haha I'm glad!!

This is the sweetest comment 🥹 Thank you so, so much.

Just filmed it yesterday! It’s sooo different in the books and they did not do them justice in the movies.

Aw that is so sweet! Thank you so much ♥️

Hi, Twin 👋🏽!

Aw thank you!!

🤗

Wow, thank you!

More to come!

Thank you for watching 🫶🏽

Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you!!