They’ll Regret Losing You When... 

Omg..this was beyond excellent..i wish i would of heard this a couple of years. I was so stuck on this narcissit. I was finally able to extinguish my feelings for him when he moved cross country from Calif to New Jersey. I dont remember desiring another so deeply.❤❤❤❤

"If they don't realize who you are, they'll never realize that they lost you." 🤕

You will never be good enough for the wrong person

The best revenge is none

It takes time to get over someone but it can be done, and you'll come to see that person wasn't worth it. Don't judge yourself

I still love the man who dumped me 4.5 years ago who ended our relationship by changing his number. He has tried to get back in touch repeatedly by various ways and means and I always block. He’s a mean spirited bully but he’s the one I adore. It’s disgusting, embarrassing and infuriating but I can’t change my feelings. If I could I would. Staying away from him is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It’s a choice between having self respect and being with the man I love.

She did leave an impact that is why he keeps circling back. He is not worth it. He cannot break the cycle, he is triangulating.

I have experience with this too. It's a trauma bond, or I found the phrase "betrayal bond" to be more accurate. Dealing with a narcissist is like constantly chasing the dangling carrot. The carrot, I think, includes these needs (and more): truth and honesty; closeness with them; being seen by them; their wanting to know you; their wanting to be known by you; and your being able to make sense of them, the relationship and the dynamics. Those things are never attained with narcissists. Very likely, like I did, you're recreating your up-bringing where you could never get your needs met, no matter what methods you tried (such as "being good," overachieving, jumping through parent's superficial hoops, etc.). It takes reprogramming our brains to learn we do not have to chase any carrots. Either someone shows up in a meaningful way in our lives on an on-going basis, or we will just enjoy our own company and do the self-care work until they do. Also, for me, I had to believe to my core that what I want in a relationship is totally valid and important. I don't need anyone to agree with me (I was told my standards for connection, etc. are too high by many people--most, if not all, probably had dissociative attachment styles and none had relationships I admired). It really helps to listen to RU-vidrs who validate what you want, like Susan. Also: We'd like to think we didn't waste all our time and energy on the wrong person. And it's embarrassing, frustrating, scary, humiliating to think we put so much energy into a con-artist and we let ourselves get duped. For sure there were red flags from the start; but we chose to see their potential instead. We chose to believe their love-bombing; and to think that is who they are. Additionally, it is a blow to the ego, because a lot of times these people seem to have major insecurities which we lovingly looked past; we just know that we have what it takes to inspire and help them be better. So their not changing, their not even wanting to change, their not valuing our investment in them, is mind boggling; how can someone waste what we have to offer? It's really hard to accept. Could any of these reasons be why you wish he would miss you? So at least you have something to show for all of the above? (Probably, yet again, recreating childhood experiences.) It's not comfortable to work through letting a narcissist go. But it's a wonderful chance to be forced to be your own best friend and to really appreciate what makes you, you--including your needs and preferences. Good luck on this journey.

I’ve been dealing with a narc; once I realized that he love bombed me, put on a shelf, and then tried to Hoover me back, I went gray rock and put up my boundaries. Regardless of my emotions, I knew at that point that it was a dead end situation that would ruin my life so I came to the radical acceptance of the situation and started my healing journey

A narcissist cannot love. A narcissist uses and abuses. I am so sorry for what this woman has dealt with but he is not aware enough to truly know any of the women he is dealing with.

I'm still kind of going through this and you're absolutely right...I just want to WIN.I don't even really like this man or miss him or want him back at all. I just want him to regret losing me because my self esteem was damaged by his rejection. It's incredibly immature but there it is. Fortunately I've 95% moved on, but I still think about him often with a mixture of sadness and cringe. Thanks for putting a name to what Ive been feeling Susan. Hopefully now that I've identified the nature of my weird grief, I can finally let go. You look fantastic as always

I will be honest... when I ended a toxic relationship with my ex-girlfriend. I did in away wanted her to realise that she lost me. It was more to do with how badly I was hurting and knowing she felt guilty or bad about herself would've given me an ego boost. But also... I knew she wouldn't care and that was the truth. She didn't. That made the hurt become unbearable. As time passed and I began to heal one stitch at a time, I didn't want her to be unhappy because I realised my ego and pride were trying to protect me in away but to seek validation from someone who's toxic is like drinking hot coffee without burning your tounge. You can't have both. Thank you, Susan for this reasurence. 💯❤️

Your videos not only help boost self confidence, but also give people a broader, fuller outlook of such situations. Beautifully optimistic and to the point advice. Thank you! 🌸 Hope you have an amazing day!

I owe most of my growth to your wisdom, Susan. Thank you. ❤

He will never regret losing you. He chose someone else. And he will play with her for a while then choose somebody else. What if he came back to you? Then what?

Well said! I don't need anyone to make me feel good about myself. I was in this woman's position and no more. ❤

My first love lasted 7 years and was heart broken when she suddenly left with no explanation or closure (in what I thought was a wonderful relationship). I then was in a relationship with a narcissist (yikes). I've since learned I'm only a "utility" (not super handsome) and follow Richard Cooper's advice "she's not yours, it's just your turn". Only-Chads are loved.

Your advice is so solid every single time. Thank you so much, susan!

TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU, was in same situation, my ex narcissist husband used this (triangulation) but didn't work for him, minute he told me about his TOP NOTCH new supply (that's what he actually said 😅) I just asked him to pass on my CONDOLENCES to her, then steam came out through him, DON'T DON'T play into these games, you DESERVE SOOO MUCH BETTER, he is NOT NOT A REAL MAN, a man that TRULY LOVES YOU WOULDN'T BEHAVE LIKE THAT, PLEASE PLEASE have MORE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND DON'T engage with him, he is NOT NOT WORTH IT.

TRAUMA BOND! Hi & Lows. I hang onto the future she promised me. She was not who I thought she was. She was a reflection of me. I had all those traits. Journaling, Therapy research I've learned 2 give that ❤ I gave her 2 myself. It's tuff at times getting much better. Hang in there.

Once again, you've hit the nail right on the head. Thanks so much for all your videos and advice, Susan. You have truly put a lot into perspective for me over the past couple years.

Indeed if you know the person is a narcissist there is no need to think it's painful but just walk away. You cannot explain your feelings to a person who knows you didn't do anything wrong he is just punishing you so that you agree on things you don't want. Choose to love yourself and don't approve when someone is breaking your boundaries and keeps on disrespecting you, by going back then you award a certificate of cheating freely and downgrading yourself.

So good, Susan!

I tend to believe it's the unpredictability that makes them desirable. There's a presumed reward - though relatively small in this case - but it might arrive at any moment, keeping the person on the receiving end in a perpetual state of anticipation. It's similar to the psychology of addiction to slot machines and gambling.

Thanks, Susan. Your videos have had a big impact on my life and helped me break free from a narcissist where i was so trapped.. I continue to learn from you ..

Lookin lovely as always Susan ur advice is always gold 🌹🌹🌹

Great advice 👍

Work with Me: susanwinter.net/consultation/

Miss Susan, you are awesome!

It’s alright I’ve already accepted that this is how life is, and I guess that’s what I get. no problem.

Run.

Neither a narcissist or a codependent person knows what true love is. Both are broken and seeing the “ need of that person to fill up a hole in me” from a broken lance of what love is. Also she does shows that ego that she think if he picked her that means she is the winner and got validated for her worth. NO. You can’t get love from a toxic person who actually cannot love at all.

I love your look!!!! 🌻✨️

Sage advice. Again.

Every so often I want her back....but then I think about if she did come back with all her Demands and her Children looking down their nose at me and the way she would make me feel if she was in Control again and all the money I spent on her and her endless vacations and expensive trips and having $85.00 breakfasts ....and being her slave to take her Truck to have it washed.... and the list goes on. Then i can honestly say.....Good Riddance and piss off. Thank you again Susan.... you have been a Wonderful ally and confidant.

very good

WOW. So true.

I was the red flag in that relationship and he was all good. Now I'm dying from regret because he broke up with me for that. Please make a separate video on that please

Forget it if he's a narcissist

I learned the hard way that your egos were meant to be destroyed.

Question for everyone here including susan..... how do you not feel envious of people who just have it all perfect? Like I know a guy who met his girl at 19, is now rich and famous and travels the world with her they got married too.... it's like problems don't exist for them.... and me meeting the wrong kind of women all the time.... how do you not just get envious that you're just unlucky?

Why on earth 🌍 would you want to be with a narcissist 😢??? I run off from such a narcissist!

Amen

🥰😍😘❤️🌹 my lady, your looking stunning as usual. I just love listening to you do your thing and watching you in action makes my day. Keep up the good work.. love John 💕

Narcissist ex contacted me a week ago on their sisters phone. I blocked their number and I’m in a loving relationship. I told ex I don’t have any desire to catch up wishes them well and blocked. We broke up 2 years ago. Definitely ego.

You remind me of miley cyrus, a mix of her and her mom😍😭

Wow

I had a gingerbread man too once!

I understand, however honestly, people have have no shit about me. No girls have ever apologized, not that matters anyways, just honestly been so bad I’m so sick of it

Is looking for a guy I dated in past from Seminole and Cherokee Native American nation a good idea . I really want to reconnect with him I am still in too him he has a strong spirit.

I am Natalie!

Why does she want a narcissist?!

❤❤❤

Susan, I like your stuff, great advice videos. But I gotta pause on this one because there's too much missing information, and also includes labeling. The woman admits zero accountability in this situation--she knew the guy had two (or more) women, but she stayed in it? And calling him a "narcissist"? Based on what? That's become the go-to accusation in our world. There are plenty of men available in the world today---she could have just told him, "Call me when you're single," and then dated one of the many available men. And labeling him is childish----how do we know if he's a narcissist or not? Maybe she's the problem in this triangle.

Susan, are you OK? I am your fan since, but you look so skinny , I hope your health is well 💗 💖 love from California