THEY CAN'T LOVE YOU, THEY JUST USE PEOPLE 

Facts! I hope the courts will soon find a way to.hold these narcissist accountable for the mental and emotional damage they cause on their families, especially children ❤

Yes, it is getting easier to spot them. I am gaining education about the narcissist by watching videos like this

Narcissists don't do well under pressure it increases their highly strung nature and stress reactions, this makes them even more dangerous. Take care Survivor's we are emotionally stronger than these weak-minded narcissist's.🕊💪

​@@berlizgonzalez6736the courts? Serously? You want to take someone to court because you didn't have the tools to leave a shit relationship?? Would you not prefer to go work on yourself and leave them 🤷‍♀️

Social media means they don’t even have to leave the house to get supply

💯

Yes.🙏

Too bad I learned this lesson the hard way, suffered major loss, and lost my identity as well.

Exactly 💯 percent

I remember my mother calling my narc of an ex-husband a user. Man, was she right.

Wow! That's crazy!

Mine didn’t control me. He would tell me I’m not going to be a priority when he’s with his people.

@@brianhill6842 That in itself was control.😁

I felt it after a month. She basically only wanted sex from me we had no other connection at all.

@@daeclipse03 Can I ask how your conversations went? For me personally it felt like I had to go above and beyond to keep the conversation going with her to the point where I had to start researching different topics to talk about almost daily. We “connected” in a not so real way but I had to work for it.

@@tonyg5132Oh dear …. !

TRUE BUT IT MUST BE DONE. RUN AND KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM THEM. BEEN THERE THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT.

@@davidcoppotelli3957 She still has qualities that makes it worth it though…and I struggle with social anxiety so it’s hard for me to ask someone out and even maintain a relationship. The problem too is she looked like my dream girl. And was very down to earth despite being an absolute monster of a person.

Yeap in a nutshell!! That’s why you gotta observe and pay attention to patterns. 😎

They lie about every little thing.

Yep narc's are compulsive liars.

🎀Why is that? They lie even when it’s completely unnecessary to do so. Then when you catch them. Instead of them being honest about the lie. They tell another lot to cover it up.🎀

ALL.THE.TIME.PATHOLIGAL

@@autumnhomer9786 My guess is because of the world they construct in their mind. They want to look a certain way towards others to try and impress them or lie to play the victim card to get attention that way. But there’s always a reason in their mind. It comes from whatever they are lacking in the moment.

Very curious, did you guys have a lot of uncomfortable silences ?

@@tonyg5132 I was always a bit uncomfortable around my ex undiagnosed narcissist or BPD. I could never be my authentic self because there was no reel bond or connection. She would distance herself a bit. I always felt like I was being judged. I went through classic love bombing, idealization. She would devalue subtlety I set a boundary then she discarded me and I never heard from her again. They are vary transactional also.

This is so True

Very sad for them. Very sad for their partners. But it is reality and survival is important

@@tonyg5132I know that was the first thing I notice was him not responding and choosing silence on things. Never experienced that before and my gut gave me the warning… I just didn’t want to be “complicated”.

Yes this is true. The moment they clap eyes on you and they like you, they start researching and effectively stalking you, asking ppl about you, find out where you hang out etc. Damn dangerous!!

😢

Ditto!

Yes! They definitely lie about past conversations... unbelievable

This sounds familiar with a guy I was getting to know over four years. Initially I’m the first 3 years we got a long great and it seemed like we were progressing to start dating. He spent all those years telling me how attracted he was, he’d sext me, text me l, FaceTime, call…but in about the third year he started picking at me….saying I was an overthinker and too sensitive. He’d say he would unintentionally hurt me and I was putting him on a pedestal. If I opened up about my fears, vulnerabilities he would use them against me. If I told him he hurt me he wanted me to shut up about it and withhold progressing any further instead of just saying he was sorry and mean it. He’d move the goal post constantly with vague statements like, “well we will never know now will we because you won’t shut up about it.” He’d say we need an indefinite amount of time of not talking.

The best way he knew how. Well said. It isn’t saying much, but it’s all they have. I have compassion for mine.

He’s your little boy, because that’s all a narcissist is. Or a little girl, if you will.

Mines did the same

Me too

If it hurts, it’s not love. Always remember that

Yes yes yes!!

I agree, that as you described that persons style of relating sounds weird and disrespectful. Kind of passive-aggressive instead of saying “Your trip sounds fun. I would like to do a trip like that. You are inspiring me. Could I meet you on your trip?” Instead sounded very indirect and odd. Many years ago, I had a former acquaintance do something similar, so the situation resonated.

@@pearpo thank you for sharing your thoughts! I agree, a normal human being would either meet me part way on my trip, while he does his own thing. If I gave in, where will it stop? No guarantee.

They think they can do no wrong, and blame you for everything.

But not everybody deals in the same way with this.

Not everyone is cruel and manipulative. We choose and we all know the difference between good and bad.

​@@leonablack3516 sad right

I am sorry you're going through this. I can identify with your story. I left my child's father after being with him for 5 years and living together. I left him when our daughter was less than a year old. I'm so thankful I left when I did. Our daughter is 17 yrs old now, and he is deceased.

I can tell you after being with 3 people that I loved that had this disorder in some fashion that at times it will make you feel like you are just as bad as they are because of how you are reacting to the situation. You are not and you have to believe that. If all you wanted was a stable, happy, loving relationship and the other person makes that impossible it's not your fault. It's not. Maybe you have had your own issues prior to your relationship but if your heart is in the right place and they are taking advantage of that and abusing it then you need to take some time and ask yourself if it's worth it to have this person in your life. I know it's hard, try to stay strong and you will find the answers.

Get out of that relationship immediately. Close the doors behind you, and don’t let him manipulate you anymore. You need to separate, get away, and start your inner healing journey.

How did they react when you showed them?

@@englishlanguagetuitionoxfo1954 Never did. Discard happened too fast. With my last ex, we hadn’t seen each other in four months. He was full of excuses. Very conveniently for him I didn’t have my license. I was working towards it but hadn’t passed the test yet. He kept claiming that was why we weren’t seeing each other. The half an hour drive to me once a week was too much with his long working hours. He was a construction site manager. He told me bluntly once that he “couldn’t be fucked to come visit.” My ego didn’t let me take that to heart. I should have. He meant every word. He was truly ice cold. My mum was sick with cancer throughout this period. We were told it was late stage. So as you can imagine I was in no state to confront him or dig very deep. At the time his dad also had cancer, stage three. His brother had just passed away from it. He described the cancer as a gift. Had to take a day off from the gym to attend his brother’s funeral. Spent one whole day in the gym that weekend as “the incident” had stopped him completing his workout. He cheated on me throughout the relationship. Towards the end he posted a picture of himself on what was clearly a date. He managed to convince me it was just a friend. Like I said, I was in no state to fight him. I can still remember her handbag, the glass of wine on the table. I still remember all the passive aggressive TikTok videos he’d repost to Snapchat. Talking about good men being cheated on by their partners. Of course I’d get flustered and rush to defend myself.. and he’d deny that it was about me. Just laugh it off and make out that I was hysterical. As if it could be directed at anybody else. Of course I’d feel guilty. I didn’t need to have done anything. Guilty by suggestion. All along he was suggesting he was cheating. The discard. This is a good one. I woke up one day to a message saying “I’m deleting Snapchat, just thought you should know.” That’s how we communicated. I had his number of course but we never spoke there. He wouldn’t respond to texts. I convinced myself it was no big deal. We had Snapchat. I asked him repeatedly why he’d do that. That was a very clear lie. His account was established.. as in a snap score of hundreds of thousands. He’d been building it up for years. So I called bullshit on that. Told him I knew he wasn’t deleting Snapchat, he was deleting me. He went to the lengths of denying it, even sending me a snap of the deletion screen. All the while ignoring my repeated question of why. Of course I get removed and blocked later that day and he changes his username. Responds to one text message I send. I never heard from him again.

They don’t lie. They don’t know any better because of the disease

At least you've got a treasure out of that relationship - your beautiful daughter❤