They Took My Brother’s Kids (I Feel Like It’s My Fault)

Подписаться 876 тыс.

Просмотров 21 тыс.

50% 1

They Took My Brother’s Kids (I Feel Like It’s My Fault)
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or reach out via this page: Ask a Question - Ramsey (ramseysolutions.com) We want to talk to YOU!
As heard on this episode:
BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
DreamCloud - dreamcloudslee...
Hallow - www.hallow.com...
Thorne (25% Off Orders) - www.thorne.com...
Resources:
• Building a Non-Anxious Life - bit.ly/3EL5ubR
• Anxiety Test - bit.ly/460QXUp
• Own Your Past, Change Your Future - bit.ly/47q7Skm
• Questions for Humans Conversation Cards - bit.ly/472lIKd
• John's Free Guided Meditation - bit.ly/3MAGpEV
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( johndelony/)
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at www.betterhelp... and get on your way to being your best self.
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...

Опубликовано:

7 окт 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 88

@lilolmecj 10 месяцев назад

Child abuse is the most common, and most under-reported, under punished crime worldwide. That is true because people look the other way. And because our Foster care system is a mess. Caller did the right thing. We must advocate for children.

@vjs4539 10 месяцев назад

Wow, the mom of those kids is sooo lucky to have an ex brother in law that helped fight for her and those kids

@karenhultgren7810 10 месяцев назад

I applaud the caller for standing up and protecting the children. I know it’s so hard and painful but he did the right thing. So brave! Bless him.

@teagarden874 10 месяцев назад

One day, when the kids are grown,they will thank you for protecting them. Hang in there. You're a good man.

@Deans-jm3uf 10 месяцев назад

Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing to do

@lexiegirl1494 10 месяцев назад

God's on your side, who can be against you? Sleep in peace and pray for peace in the family.

@SpoonHurler 10 месяцев назад

When I was little (before I turned 6) I was in a very abusive, very (Deloney word incoming) unsafe home with my mom and her boyfriend at the time. If it wasn't for someone or some people that I still don't know who they are, like this man on the call, I am certain I would not be physically whole and more than likely not alive. Thank you and thanks to all the people like this caller.

@cathyl7944 10 месяцев назад

I’m so sorry you were put through all of that. I hope you’ve found healing from all that trauma.

@rachaelalys 10 месяцев назад

💜💜💜

@rachaelalys 10 месяцев назад

Love from a fellow survivor

@colleenmccann1190 10 месяцев назад

It's so good to hear the upside of stories like this! So glad you are safe and thriving

@BG-nm5xt 10 месяцев назад

Thank goodness this guy decided to report this, the right thing to do! Bless you for doing this and the kids are protected! What is the brother doing, hard drugs around the kids? This is the only way to help these kids and help the brother be accountable, get help and be more responsible.

@nectarzetlian9251 10 месяцев назад

You did the right thing Chris. You were protecting your niece an nephews.

@ithinkigottalent4047 10 месяцев назад

I wish we had more people like him.

@justinewhite-hadley3138 10 месяцев назад

I get it. I called APS for my Mom against my brother as he is an adddict. He is financially destroying her and was putting her in harms way with bad people at her house. She actually got shoved and fell down bruising her face by one of them. After I called it in, she has not been the same with me. She feels I'M the trader. I'M the one who is bad for calling against my brother. She was my best friend and we talked everyday. Now it's a 3 word text once a week if I say hi 1st. Its hideously heartbreaking. I'm glad you were you brave with those kids. You may have saved their lives

@alannajones330 10 месяцев назад

You did the right thing. Even if your mother is ungrateful.

@justinewhite-hadley3138 10 месяцев назад

@alannajones330 Thank you. 🙏 My Mom is 77 now. He is still there with her and she sings his praises. 😢

@show_me_your_kitties 9 месяцев назад

Wha was the outcome? Was he removed from the home?

@justinewhite-hadley3138 8 месяцев назад

@show_me_your_kitties No. They are still in the same home together. When APS came out she said she was fine and didn't need help. So they left. It was pretty unbelievable. She won't leave him. She feels she is keeping him alive by giving him free rent, food, her car, her phones, yes multiple he's gone thru, free gas and insurance. I can't change her mind.

@show_me_your_kitties 8 месяцев назад

@@justinewhite-hadley3138 This is elderly abuse which is a totally different dynamic than child abuse. Also, I was in the same situation, my adult middle aged brother and my elderly mother were in a toxic codependent relationship cycle. My brother ended up taking his life, as he realized our mother was feeding off of his abuse and illnesses and was taking advantage of him in her own ways behind the mask of "that's my baby boy" martyrdom. They don't want your help or need your help, if fact, you are the bad guy. Just gone contact and say good luck.

@aprilm2664 10 месяцев назад

Were all proud of you for protecting the kids you are their hero .you did the right thing

@fluffyspunsugar 10 месяцев назад

My siblings weren't like the caller's brother, but some of them made poor partner choices who were. I told them unequivocally that if they made me choose between them or the safety of their children, my nieces and nephews would win out every time.

@pmeehan_3 10 месяцев назад

There always seems to be that one family member that has the courage and common sense to do the right thing and then the rest of the family that gaslight themselves and each other. For this caller the kids weren't taken away due to anything he did.

@joeriveracomedy 10 месяцев назад

He didn't say what the dad did. Sounds like he got honey potted by some trailer park queen.

@katrina3560 10 месяцев назад

@@joeriveracomedy that's some spectacular mental gymnastics you're practicing in order to come to that conclusion.

@alluringbliss4165 10 месяцев назад

A lot of family like to cover up misdeeds

@joeriveracomedy 10 месяцев назад

@@katrina3560well for starters it is a joke and earnest part is that he didn't drop the deets.

@katrina3560 10 месяцев назад

@@joeriveracomedy uh-huh, a "joke". Derp-duh-derp

@bbbbb7813 9 месяцев назад

You are my hero, Chris. Just like you are those kids and their mother’s hero. Don’t ever regret your actions. Never ever stop putting innocent children first.

@MN-br5nb 8 месяцев назад

Good ppl are the voice of the voiceless. His kids waited for a helper and you were it. I do hope those kids get returned to kin not left to foster care. 🙏 you did the right thing sir. I can sense your anguish.

@katrina3560 10 месяцев назад

He is your family, but so are those children and without hearing the whole call, I already know that you did the right thing. I hope you can find some peace knowing that you protected the ones who needed it most. I can relate to that sort of stress and pressure with family. Addiction and mental health issues are serious. You did the right thing.

@marymorris6897 10 месяцев назад

Absolutely right. Sometimes the more right you are in a situation, the more you feel crummy afterwards. Life is weird.

@colleenmccann1190 10 месяцев назад

I understand where the guilt comes from, tearing up family is the hardest thing to do. Know you did the right thing. You may lose your brother literally or figuratively - that will be his choice - but you damn well saved his kids. 100% agree with John, now is the time to take shelter and stability in your wife's family. Lean on them because their steadiness and lack of crazy will get your through this season with yours. Sending ❤

@juicysmith38235 10 месяцев назад

The brother Tore apart the family, not this innocent man on the phone...

@neisci 10 месяцев назад

If making the right decision was easy everyone would do it. Be proud of yourself caller, you did the right thing. You saved those children, those who tell you otherwise, are not deserving of being in your presence.

@ericalashan1923 10 месяцев назад

U did the rite thing. I was a CPS II for 11 yrs. I could hear the difficulty in his voice saying the word "kill" with him and his brother in the same sentence.

@mwhe3111 10 месяцев назад

If your father sides with your brother over innocent children, I'm sorry, but that's his very wrong choice and you are better off without him.

@ljvue 10 месяцев назад

When parents keep reenforcing dysfunctional behavior of their adult children.

@iamwinningrightnow 10 месяцев назад

Great job. It's better to be the only person marching in the right direction, rather than with a crowd marching in the wrong direction. Great job

@judekiv 10 месяцев назад

I can tell this is a good man

@9liveslisa 10 месяцев назад

He definitely did the right thing for the kids. I had a miserable childhood because of adults that wouldn't do the right thing. When my parents were divorcing I ran away from home and went to my father and begged him to let me live with him. I was 10 year old. My mother was drinking around the clock and I didn't want to stay with her. She was out of her mind. My dad took me back to my mom. I was crushed. So I lived with my drunken mother until she died one year later. So my Dad unexpectedly ends up with us after all. What a mess. So he has us back and he sends us all to boarding schools until he figures out what to do While we're in boarding school he marries his affair partner and tells us casually over dinner that they got married. And guess what? She was a crazy drunk too and she brainwashed my father against his kids. She even threatened to kill me one night and my dad didn't believe me. (She was a nurse) I left home at 15 years of age. I was depressed and suicidal. Anyway, this uncle did the right thing. I'm proud of him. Those kids have someone who cares. I wish them all the best.

@valerie9620 10 месяцев назад

I am so sorry that none of the adults in your life stood up for you and protected you. You deserved better. Love, hugs and prayers to you ❤🙏🏻

@DC-bp8sx 10 месяцев назад

I also have a friend that ran away from his alcoholic abusive mother, she bashed him up and he had a bleeding nose and black eye, he hitchhiked and caught the train for 2 hours to his fathers house, his father told him he couldn’t take him in and paid a cab to take him back 2 hours away back to his mother. Didn’t even check his nose or his bruised eye. He was 12.

@9liveslisa 10 месяцев назад

@@DC-bp8sx I think it happens a lot. I spent 2 years in foster homes which I wouldn't wish on any child, but it was better than living with my father and step-mother. I reunited with my Dad before he died, but he still said he never saw my step-mother drunk. He was still in total denial. She was drunk every night. She bought Cutty Sark Scotch by the case. I find that unbelievable. Stunning.

@murdahmammiez 9 месяцев назад

Sorry this happened to u

@bahena735 10 месяцев назад

My heart goes out to him. You are an absolute hero and those kids are so lucky to have you. Those kids will be okay because you stepped in and saved them!!

@SLangel18 9 месяцев назад

I hope he finds peace and I hope his brother doesn’t do anything stupid.

@overworked123 10 месяцев назад

Oh my! I admire your courage! Praying for you!

@territ1231 10 месяцев назад

So many kids need more people or relatives speaking up for them.. God bless you and those kids.

@carnivoreRon 10 месяцев назад

I hear so many people justifying drug use. Just this year I ended a 20 year friendship over his drug use. Also, my older brother was the drug user. He was our mother's affair baby and golden child. He beat me up and was involved with at least one murder. He spent time in prison. Our mother would get mad if his crimes were talked about. While as a child, I was shipped off to live half my childhood with relatives.

@Boosted_aj 10 месяцев назад

That’s not drug use. That’s just an out of control addict. You can safely consume drugs and not be a terrible person

@alluringbliss4165 10 месяцев назад

@@Boosted_ajdrugs is dangerously, it’s like saying you can safely play with a gun.

@Boosted_aj 10 месяцев назад

@@alluringbliss4165 you can. You can shoot guns in controlled enviroments. You can use drugs with safe amounts in safe enviroments.

@rebeccaspratling2865 7 месяцев назад

@@Boosted_ajthe US population is one of the most drugged people in.

@lisalister8002 10 месяцев назад

Children come first... sorry that - that means you many have lost connection with your dad and brother - but you did the right thing!!

@amberklein1560 10 месяцев назад

Sometimes you need an expert/authority figure to validate your actions. It keeps a person sane.

@ashleygood4615 6 месяцев назад

Doing the right thing can be lonely but hold your head up Chris. You are the hero in this situation.

@Dd-760- 10 месяцев назад

Damn I treat my nephews like they are my kids. They Rome freely through my home with my kids. Couldn’t imagine them getting abused I would loose my screws. I would go back to jail.

@NomadicLifer 4 месяца назад

My wife has called CPS on her friends for being neglectful of their kids. This is before she became a mandated reporter. She has even called on her own family without a second thought. I am so proud of her for taking on what she does to protect kids. As a preschool teacher, she's had to deal with some crazy things from unstable parents. It's sad, but everyone doesn't deserve to have children.

@tyharvey2468 10 месяцев назад

God bless you for protecting the kids and what a great example you are setting for your own children you are showing a tremendous amount of love courage and integrity you are a blessing to your family even if they can't see it the strength you have had is amazing

@kroop5427 10 месяцев назад

What a hero!

@Prettymom619 10 месяцев назад

If the caller can remember that this is what he would want for his own kids if he were in a similar situation❤❤❤

@toosense 10 месяцев назад

Addicts are always the victim. The person he’s dealing with isn’t his brother, it’s a lowly version of him and it will stay that way until he gets help. The father is an enabler, too bad. Nobody wants to see their kid struggle with addiction or anything thing else, maybe the dad blames himself for the son’s issues. Regardless the children needed someone to step in on their behalf. The caller knows it was the right decision, he just needs to stay vigilant and keep his family safe. Maybe the brother will thank him one day.

@rebeccaspratling2865 7 месяцев назад

Yep it's more than likely guilt. Addiction is caused by complex childhood trauma so something probably happened and now dad thinks he's making up for it now and is in denial and just doing what comforts himself instead of what's best for the grandchildren. Dad is scared to face reality and comes to terms with things.

@nancypicchi9224 9 месяцев назад

Just when most of us think our family would stand behind the good Son, the good Son is tossed out of the fold.

@baybeejune 3 месяца назад

This guy is an absolute hero!

@fire12731 10 месяцев назад

Who cares if he’s your brother? You did the right thing. We all make our bed. Your bro made choices. Screw anyone who is gaslighting you, including your parents. Your parents are completely in denial and would rather put the grandkids in harm’s way. No sympathy for this caller’s parents . F them quite frankly and the brother too

@Tragedy59 10 месяцев назад

It sucks but your family is dead and gone now. It’s you, your wife and kids now. Sorry for your loss. I’d be devastated too cause I love my family and my brother so much. Couldn’t imagine going through that

@shannonmcneill9464 6 месяцев назад

I wish you were some how around when I was a kid. I have no complaints as an adult but forever deal with affects of child abuse

@jesshakola 10 месяцев назад

I love John but he just doesn’t have experience in this area. PTSD and active risk are different. When situations escalate to this point, the right answer is to use threat analysis tools. They are metrics based on specific behaviors from the aggressor and have been compiled by people like Gavin de Becker. This is what a DV survivors and stalking victims use to assess their own safety. When situations escalate to this point, it’s a gray area of our society. But these tools can provide more statistical information to clarify your intuition. I’d also recommend reading The Gift of Fear. Best of luck to this caller and anyone else in this terrible situation.

@kekejefferson9219 10 месяцев назад

Move.

@territ1231 10 месяцев назад

What if he stopped avoiding the brother and call the brother. Tell him his actions or threats are not going to direct his life anymore. His kids are safer and hope he gets it soon.!!

@zahraaalz9621 10 месяцев назад

This broke my heart becouse I'm going through the same with my sister. I'm torn in what to do. Hous eis a mess and she's doing drugs. Says she's okay and doesn't need help but I know she's not.

@texasgoddess323 9 месяцев назад

If you feel the kids are unsafe, would you be willing to take them in with you? The foster care system is broken.

@CarnivoreStork 10 месяцев назад

The USA is huge. Please move out of state, for your sake and if you have a family or future family. MOVE NOW.

@loverules1667 10 месяцев назад

❤❤❤ HERO!❤❤❤❤❤

@hwinny2 10 месяцев назад

Nope, he didn’t pause because he has been safe. I believe he has been violent.

@vashtibascombe701 9 месяцев назад

Am I the only one wondering if the brother is in a gang?

@show_me_your_kitties 9 месяцев назад

Going to be devil's advocate here. I listened to the entire episode and read the transcript twice. Here are my notes from direct quotes: 1. He says straight away that he 'believes' his brother is suffering from substance abuse. No context or examples or given as to what substance it is or how it has endangered his children. #2 He tried to file a restraining order but was unable to due to the alleged threat to kill him was third hand knowledge (his brothers ex wife text her mother that he threatened to kill him). #3 The parents have sided with the brother. Why didn't Dr J ask more about this? I know he is not afraid of getting specific, why not with this caller? A man lost his children. By the way, to speak to that, it sounds like his brother was the primary custodian of his children until this happened. We don't know for sure, because again, zero context was provided nor did Dr J try to find this very important detail. #4 Dr J straight up asked him had he threatened his life, go back and listen. His answer was 'Ummm' and COULD NOT SAY HIS BROTHER EVER THREATENED HIS LIFE. I think to assume the parents are garbage and the brother deserved to lose his children is TERRIBLE with the absolute LACK of information in this call. The dude can't sleep at night, he doesn't want to face his family, having severe guilt and anxiety. And honestly he sounds like he's high with dry mouth from hell. We did not get the true story here and Dr helped ZERO. I love Dr J but damn calling this guy a hero with all the holes in his story is ridiculous. Came back to add that I am adie hard follower of Dr John. I have bought all his books and set notifications to get his content immediately. However, it's starting to tingle my senses that so many calls with complete lack of context are ignored and callers are pacified and placated to. This one really bothered me. A man lost his kids and a family was cut down at the knees due to what sounds like a manipulative ex wife and a brother with old resentments. I would be nervous too if I was him, the witness stand will eat his lunch if what he has provided here is all he's got.