As a wife of someone who has trouble talking. PLEASE don't finish sentences and don't interrupt. It throws them off track and is also insanely rude because you are assuming you know what they are about to say. Give them the dignity of completing their thought.
I never knew that this was an issue or offensive but I'm glad that they pointed it out as I've never met anyone with a stutter before and I feel like I would attempt to finish their sentences thinking that I'm helping... But this is definitely something that I wanna note down for future reference. Really thank you for sharing
I have a stutter and honestly, I don't really mind it cus I know they are just trying to help me. I do mind it when they just keep on guessing until they get it right because it becomes a game to them. When they are genuine I don't mind it at all.
I realise how rude and insulting this is to someone when people try to finish their sentences, but do you realize how extremely annoying it is to listen to that? As well as how annoying it is to try to transcribe a recording of someone who stutters? I'm not saying that being rude or mean to someone is acceptable, simply saying look at it from the other people's view as well.
i get that a lot and its like no!! THEY DIDNT i was just born like this and it got worse around 8th grade. Now im in 11th and everyone is like h hi buddy how you d d d doin 🤣😡 my friends suck lol
I was born with a serious stutter and people always say to me 'Why don't you just write everything?' BOI I'M NOT WALKING AROUND WITH A PEN AND PAPER IN MY HANDS AT ALL MOMENTS
Anytime I hear "why don't you sing it" I just want to punch someone in the throat to be honest, basically any of the other stupid replies I hear from people that think doing something will help I just want to smack them, mainly because anything I've actually tried has never worked
I thought when talking to someone with a stammer I just talked to them like I talk to everyone else. I thought I'd just have to be a little bit patient at times?
A boy in my school has cerebral palsy and therefore stutters on his words. I hate it when people don't let him finish his sentence because they're impatient. There are really some horrible people on this planet
The thing I love most about this series is that the participants looks so comfortable because they are with someone who's going through the exact same thing as them!!
Ieuan Mills I'm happy for you! ^w^ I hope I find someone who stutters D: there's three million of us and yet I can't seem to run into someone who stutters X'D
i agree! i also love how one isn't looking impatient while waiting for the other to finish their sentence. because they go through it too and they know how annoying it is for someone to be impatient.
I stammer on "th" "s" "w" "P" and "c" when Im in social situations. I have no idea why, it just happens. But I get so frustrated when people laugh, or imitate me.
@Breanna Clement exactly. Like, let me take my time, I am trying harder than people think. Its probably because they don't know how it feels to physically not be able to say a word, but that's understandable. Hope things get better for you though x
I have a weak stutter that flares up when I get nervous or when someone points it out. In school some people would mimic were I stutter and make noises and that is the worst thing you could do along side saying “well spit it out”
me too but it happens at any time i’m out in public or on facetime but then i don’t get it for a while and then i get it again but when it comes back, it comes back quite bad and i have trouble getting words out anyway and my whole family laughs at me and thinks i’m dumb-
I have selective mutism (basically if I have any anxiety I cannot speak) and it's weird that some people can get pretty annoyed when I'm talking and then I stop and can't continue and they have to have the burden of reading what I type; I live in a fairly small place and people I see regularly are very accommodating and I don't have to communicate more than a nod. People don't realise that when there's a fault in my brain I don't have control over it because the fault stops me from being able to stop it. Being asked if I'm "retarded" is horrible and I don't want to meet new people because of it.
I have got selective mutism too and for me it feels like something is holding my throat closed I really want to talk but I just cant and I get to nervous ( it happens at school most of the time ) so I just don't talk that much I don't really have any friends, I might but I feel like they don't want to be around me. Some people if they hear me talk they say something like " Wow she can actually talk" and sometimes they ask " Can you talk ?" Or say " I have never heard you talk.
i have it also, but when I tell people about it they dont believe me as I'm usually comfortable with that person. Bu then if I'm left by myself and someone tries to talk to me I can't so a lot of the time I run away, it's happened before.
Most people don't see how much stammering can affect a life, I didn't stammer until I was 9' I had a head injury that made me stammer and then my life changed after that, I became very depressed and suicidal, I wouldn't answer the front door, I wouldn't go outside, i was mocked and bullied for it. I think public awareness needs to change because people just see stammering as trouble with getting words out but it is more devastating than that.
I can't imagine how difficult it would be to experience that every time or most of the time you talked. I don't hear much public awareness about this, and that needs to change.
indiciaobscure yeah I know, often the general public doesn't take stammering seriously, they think that if we slow down or calm down then everything is going to be good, stammering isn't as easy as that also because stammering is so rare only 1% of the worlds population stammers that's around about 70 million, people don't really come into contact with a person who stammers on a daily basis so they assign their own opinions on why we stammer.
Jordan Halkier i started after a car accident at age 7. Now 34, I have had more bullying, teasing, and subsequent social anxiety than 10 people my age. Just one more hurdle life throws at some.
felicity mcdougle I'm not sure what your question means. I have a lisp to though. I just thought it would be interesting. Maybe something's for the video would be how ( for me personally) some people ask me to say "sally sells seashells by the seashore"
idk I'm not surprised, you don't have to put up with that, I know my aunt is a little sensitive about it, I take no notice of people with any speech impediment as I grew up around it, the cheek of people, you're not there for their entertainment!
I remember, I was in second grade and had just gotten over a tough period of stuttering in my life. When school started again I got a new teacher who I had never spoken to before. The teacher tells us to stand in front of the whole class and do a minor presentation of yourself. I was absolutely terrified so I hid underneath one of the tables. Nobody noticed me the first lesson, but the second lesson someone called out that I hadn't spoken yet. So the teacher pulled me out from underneath the desk and stood me up in front of everybody. I started stuttering and everybody laughed and laughed because she kept telling me to "spit it out". After I was done and practically bawling my eyes out, she told me to try harder and do it again. My stutter was gone before that and she made it come back. Idk why I wrote this, but thx for reading it if you did.
Roxanne Waters i often read awful stories about teachers. i'm a starting teacher myself and every time i see some bad story i always think i would never act like that with my students.
I would really appreciate it if you guys did an episode on Social Anxiety Disorder, because it is not acknowledged enough and a lot of people don't even know what it is or know that they have it, so it would be amazing for everyone who has it and just to raise awareness for it. I've been suffering from S.A.D my whole life and it is completely debilitating.
mick sims-a-lot I agree. I thankfully have managed to change and come across most of the time as high-functioning, but it was debilitating for so much of my childhood and early adulthood.
Agreed. People don’t know that anxiety along with depression is REAL. As someone who suffers with both, there should be more awareness on those topics,
mick sims-a-lot i suffered from S.A.D up until i was in 8th grade. things changed so drastically it didn’t affect me as much. (this comment didn’t really have anything to do w an answer but it’s just for awareness)
I have G.A.D (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and it drives me insane when people go “oh, it’s all in your head” or “why are you so anxious? There’s nothing to be anxious about.” . Anxiety and just mental health disorders in general need way more representation
The worst part about it is they get it wrong 9 times out of 10. Throws me off every time, and honestly just makes it worse. I don't mind when my best friend does it, as he'll only do it if I'm really struggling, and he normally gets it right. Still a little bit embarrassing, but I can appreciate the gesture.
black_Blossom can we make a promise to bring it back cas like 1; its cute 2: gender neutral 3: ITS CUTE 4: it stops the confusion between boyfriend/girlfriend and boy friend/girl friend
I remember in high school most of my classes were filled with people who didn't fully understand what a stutter was and they would think I was "retarded" but that's all in the past I have an amazing friend group that will sometimes just for the hell of it have a competition to see who can make the best joke about my speech, I get a good laugh out of it so I don't mind
My best friend since high school has a stammer and a lisp, so he was very shy about speaking. He took therapy for years for it, but it never went away fully. He was surprised to hear when I started dating him that I rather enjoyed his stammer and lisp because we could have longer conversations and he never got upset that I spoke so quietly lol we spent a total of 8 hours on the phone one Saturday, much to the irritation of his sister 😂😂😂
gamerprince1999 That's genuinely messed up in my opinion. Everyone is in such a rush and so judgemental about every thing. I think things like this are beautiful and make a person completely unique and wonderful. Stutters, lisps, scars, so many things that others view as flaws are just part of who a person is. No one laughs at you for having blue eyes, why laugh about stutters?
I agree. For example, imo a girl's flaws makes them more attractive. It just shows that that person is not perfect and has problems like everyone else and makes me relate to that person. It's why I wish people would stop trying to look or be super perfect in public. I don't really know you but can I at least say that I appreciate your attitude towards people with these "problems"? :)
I’m kinda the opposite XD. I read through my presentation really fast and my stutter’s like “hah lol nope” and I get through it probably at the same time if a fluent person would present it in a normal pace XD
I am absolutely f.ing disgusted. *How dare ANYONE treat someone* in such a way as to say "spit it out," or snap their fingers, or put on pressure, or make fun. There is *nothing wrong with stammering or stuttering.* If you stammer, please know: 1. *What you say matters JUST AS MUCH (if not more) as anyone else.* 2. *You deserve every bit of respect, attention, and active listening as anyone else.* *If someone treats you like you're some kind of inconvenience, then they flat-out DON'T DESERVE to hear the precious thoughts that come out of your mouth.* *Even if it might take slightly longer, the meaning is just as profound.*
Mathius1231 I got so mad when my brother told me he was stammering on a word in the middle of a conversation he was having and the person he was talking to completely ignored him and walked off. Let him finish?
I sometimes make my brother repeat his sentences several times by acting as if I don't understand him in the first place just to punish him if he offend me. Does that makes me evil ?
Mathius1231 I've been told to breath or to hurry up. It's very humiliating when you're a told these things. I've had classmates and teachers to breathe and hurry up. My words get stuck in my throat and I don't breathe well when it happens.
One of my best friends stutters and whenever we have class presentations he looks at me. I usually mouth something like "breathe" or "you're doing great". I also smile at him or give him a thumbs up. He's even gotten special permission for me to sit in on his departmental presentation for school because I calm him down. I just think it's important that we support people and know that they're trying instead of bringing them down and criticising them on something they can't help.
Dysfunctional Dré my teatcher told us to read in front of the class, and idk if he knows i havent done it yet... when i read out loud thats the time my stuttering is the worst.
I know why and trust me I'm not smart: Telling a person who stutters to take a breath or think about what they want to say first is wrong, it's like telling them to just speak normally, its creates pressure on a person who stutters to speak normally, and no, they're not nervous because they stutter.
The most annoying thing someone (and that someone being my mom) has said to me while I’m stuttering is “Think about what you’re saying first, and then say it.” Like no. Stuttering is natural and it has nothing to do with what I’m about to say cuz I already know what I’m going to say. And it makes me not want to say it if I think about it, especially if I’m in the middle of telling a story
I have had a stammer since I was 3 years old. My parents get annoyed. My friend tease me. My peers bully me. And seeing this video makes me feel so much better. It’s so nice to see other people who know what it’s like.
My boss has a severe stammer where he gets stuck in a loop ("You know, like I was saying, you know, like, you know, as you know..." but for several seconds.) You just have to wait him out. While it's frustrating to hear, I can't imagine how frustrating it is for him.
The disabilities, like mine, where you appear on the surface as "normal" are in some ways the worst. I wear makeup and seem like a regular 19 year old, but then you see me pull out my walker or lose my breath just by walking slowly and talking at the same time and think "What the hell is wrong with her??" Blood clots and chronic pain, that's what. The world would be a better place if people just accepted each other.
Rhiannon DeLuna yeah I totally agree, I think for people who have hidden disabilities they often get treated as not as important as the physical disabilities and for me every disability is equally as bad, you can't say one is worse than the other one unless you have experienced having 2 or more disabilities.
Rhiannon DeLuna totally agree with you. I have a bad club foot and everyone at school makes fun of me for "walking strangely" and for being very bad at sports, geesh I hate highschool
Rhiannon DeLuna I feel you with this! I have epilepsy and am totally normal on the outside, but once people find out you have it and start cracking jokes about being a fish out of water you really start to see who people really are.
You can't expect people to know every single illness on the planet...I might asking what's happening ( not "wrong") to you,without disgust, maybe worried because I have no idea how to help you in case. Maybe you should create an easy leaflet about your condition ,stick it to trees or something so people randomly will know about it and then when meeting someone with that disability I'm sure it would be a great relief and even sense of pride for both .
I really avoid social interactions, because of my stuttering, but I feel so rude by not saying thank you or anything. Hey but I'm working on it :), all you people who stutter, you are great and others don't know how it's like to stammer or stutter. Keep on keeping on
I can relate with this so much. I feel the same about saying thank you. I can’t get it out before they walk away and I get think it’s best to not say anything and hope they don’t notice rather than mess up the word and make it weird.
ya okay so im an introvert, socially awkward and I stutter..I. mean nothing wrong but my family act like I can do so much better after some MORE youtube tongue exercises..like wtf
Question: if someone gets stuck in stammer, what is the best way to respond? These guys mention not to look away, etc., but if someone is stuck on a word my first reaction is to try and alleviate what could be seen as an intimidating moment by not maintaining eye contact.
I think it depends on how much confidence you have with the stammer, if the person is ok with you finishing the frase or the word go ahead, but if it's a stranger or something you can tell they to relax and start all over again thinking well what they want to say, always in the most polite way remember that you have to be understanding n_n
An encouraging smile helps a lot! It means it's ok, just take your time. I know I’m stuck and I don’t want to stress you out so I put even more pressure on myself. If you can’t because you’re feeling too awkward in this situation just pretend everything is normal. Looking away, getting stressed out or exchanging meaningful looks with other people only makes it worse. People would also just start talking like I wasn’t saying anyhing which always makes me feel terrible and hate myself. Eventually it makes me even more nervouse because I know that if I don’t speak perfectly people will just stop listening to me.
when i was young i had the worst stammer ever, everything i said lasted about 30 seconds because i couldn't stop myself from pronouncing the first syllible, i used to have to click my fingers in my own face to stop myself. i still do it occasionally but its not as bad. only happens about 6 times a week. im so lucky.
My 2 youngest children stutter, so it's nice for them to get to see adults who deal with it as well. Sometimes they seem to feel so alone. Thanks guys!
I have a light stutter which gets worse when I'm nervous, I can't even imagine how annoying it would be if I stuttered all the time and people kept saying these things
Same! I've had a stutter since i was around 18 after an accident. It gets so bad when i'm nervous! It isn't constant stuttering though. But i have gotten a few annoying questions about it lol
"I'm not going to burst into song... in a chip song" British version of high school musical. Nearly all my family has a stutter and I do to at some point but it gets rlly bad sometimes so I can barely speak.
It used to be worse when I was younger during primary school days. It was worse because of unsupportive people around me who used to call me names and made fun of me. This made me self conscious and my self esteem low. It has affected me when I travel, when I ask direction or when I buy something in a crowded shop or when I'm being asked to give a presentation. It's taking time but slowly healing inside. It's better now but there are situations when I feel I am going to stutter. That thought itself make me stutter. It definitely helps when I'm surrounded by supportive understanding people. Thank you guys for sharing experiences on this topic.
I always do that, and people say, “Think about what you say.” and like no no that doesn’t help at all I just stumble on my s and c words give 👏🏼 me 👏🏼 a 👏🏼 break
Yea, that sentence is so annoying. My father used to tell me "think about what you wanna say or don't talk to me at all." And we would argue.... and it would get my stammer worse and he would not stand it and just ask me to shut up. (Sigh)Supportive parents.....
Something that I've noticed, when I watch a youtuber with a stutter (Drew Lynch comes to mind) after a while I don't even notice it anymore. It's kind of interesting because I remember when I first stated watching his videos I couldn't really focus on anything but his stutter and now I don't even register it anymore. Pretty cool how your brain normalizes things that it once was confused by.
Same my best friend has a stutter and when I first met her I used to grow so impatient but now I point out when she doesn’t stutter because I’m so used to hearing her stutter.
The “Don’t you even know your own name?” One got me because as someone who has rhotacism and who’s name also starts with an R, trying to introduce myself has always been the absolute worst and is very frustrating
I'm a teacher and started tearing up about what Nisar said happened to him in class. I've had students who, for whatever reason, have issues speaking "straight". Whether they pause for a long time before they reply, or if they stutter, or they have trouble finding a word, I just let them talk. I sit back, relaxed, and tell them, "Take your time." I've had to deal with this in class multiple times and I let any "complaining" students know that we all got our own stuff, even me, that makes it difficult to articulate ideas sometimes, so just give them some time and please be patient, just as other people are patient with "you" ("you" = the student I'm talking to). Nisar, if I ever hear of a teacher at our school doing this, I will personally throw that teacher across their own classroom until they apologize.
my stutter developed in about 5th grade and my dad showed me a bunch of successful people with stutters and now I feel better. To everyone here who stammer, remember u all exist for a reason.
fandomsislyfeandsoismemes my stutter has been around since I could talk, when I was 14 weeks I hit my head on a pool table that's why I think I have one
I so hate when people look away when I'm stuttering. I feel like a lot of them think that maybe I'm nervous and avoiding eye contact will help, but it just makes me feel frustrated at myself. I think I have two sort of types of stuttering. The first one is when I know the words in my head, but I can't get them to come out smoothly. Then, I'm more likely to stammer on syllables and mispronounce words. The second is where I know what I want to say, but I don't know how to say it. I have a medical condition that has the unfortunate side effect of causing brain fog, so sometimes I'll have trouble thinking clearly or remembering things. That's where the second type comes from. I have a basic thought in my head, but I have trouble remembering specific words and word orders. Like, if I'm at home and I want my sister to pass me a pair of scissors I may have to say, "hand me... hand me... they cut." They're both annoying for different reasons. The first one because people assume I'm nervous, and the second because people assume I'm stupid. I love it when a friend gets used to my way of speaking and we figure out how to communicate quickly and effectively without them interrupting or finishing my sentences.
Oh my gosh, I found another me this happens to me all the time. And yes it is awesome when someone learns your quirks and knows exactly what you want to say.
The one where you know what you're going to say but it feels like you can't are called blocks. It's a form of stuttering, I have more severe blocks than I do with normal stuttering, it's really frustrating because I can't say things immediately and the words won't leave my mouth
Good to know. This was something I'd been wondering about: if you're listening to someone finish their sentence with a stutter, does it maybe pressure them if you keep looking at them ("staring at them"), and might it help to look away? Now I know better.
I have autism and our conversations would make us both laugh together because I can't do eye contact. Now I know that if someone who stutters is feeling stressed about my lack of eye contact, then I can explain that I'm always like that. 😀
When I was little (3 or 4), I was talking on the phone with my aunt, who has a stutter, and I asked her a question, so when she answered, she started stuttering and I told her that the line was cutting, because I thought that's what it was. But she told me that's just how she talks, and I STILL feel bad for it 11 years later.
yuliana en fuego as somebody who stutters i would never be angry about a child who would say something like this because it is the first logical thing to think when you do not know what stuttering is. If it bothers you that much, then tell your aunt about that incident and I am pretty sure you will feel relieved because she will definitely say that you do not have to feel bad about it :)
By the way it is awesome to see that there are people who are sensitive to this type of things- especially when they are 3-4 years old. Keep going, it is an amazing skill!
you were so little when it happened you werent being rude at all, you were genuinely confused at the time! im sure your aunt understands you didnt mean anything bad by it
As a person who gets distracted SUPER easily and has an incredibly short attention span a lot of the time I kind of needed that video. It gave me lots of understanding. To be honest I get quite frustrated when others take forever to say something. But it's never okay to be rude to others. Thanks for that video, I've gained a whole new appreciation for people who stammer!
I watch these purely for entertainment when I do my makeup in the mornings. I just encountered a parcel delivery man who had a very prominent stutter- and because of this video I found myself holding back from a lot of things I didn’t know would be taken offensively. I’m so grateful for videos like this to help me conduct myself better in society.
I have a stuttering problem and it frustrates me so much. I always stutter when saying “w” words or “d” and “S” words. All words in general basically too..😒😒
Yep, saying "Can I get a glass of water with lemon?" Is not fun 😔 I can say it just fine right now in my room, but put me in a restaurant in front of a server and it's a different story.
When I first went to secondary school, some of the boys said, "You can't speak!" "It takes you five seconds to speak." They teased me, they ridiculed me, they laughed at me and I felt like my self-esteem was low and I felt like I'm not normal. I felt broken and shattered inside. I talked to my parents and my teachers but then I refused to because I said they will not do anything about it, I should do it myself but it just gotten worse and worse each day. Like this comment so that my self-esteem will go back up an di will feel happy. P.S: I'm only 12.
It's brave to say how you're feeling. Even if you think poorly of yourself, honoring what you feel and telling the world is a piece of that self-love. I hope you never lose that, and that with time you will find people in your life who understand and treat you better. ✨
Hey! Someone with social anxiety and a lisp here, likes in comments ain't getting that self esteem up, it's therapy and gaining another angle on yourself. Look at yourself from another persons view and point out everything good about yourself. Dont force it. Try standing up for yourself or ask your parents to move schools if you can. I used to suffer from horrible self esteem issues and these type of exercises have helped a lot.
Oli Myers Oh I remember at school when people try to read out loud really quick to impress me since I am quite a quick reader and then miss like every other word and have to correct themselves. That doesn't really have much to do with ANYTHING but that came to my mind.
My brother has had a stutter ever since elementary school. He's had speech therapy and is relatively over it unless he is stressed. I used to be very annoyed with him when we were kids and I would tell him to spit it out and all that and it took a long time for me to understand it... I am glad networks are making an effort to make disabilities like this more normalised and put out there so kids like my brother aren't considered dumb weirdos. I love him and support him and he is absolutely not a idiot because he's having trouble with a word. Thank you guys for coming out and talking about it. It really sheds light on those of us who have used these words against our friends and family, and hopefully we take steps to avoid this language.
When I get excited I stutter a lot. I was talking about my favorite games I had to repeat my sentence 10 times because I got to excited and stuttered too much.
I get rather annoyed by the people who think it makes a person dumb. I don't personally have a stutter but I have a friend who suffers from it and he's the most intelligent person I know. The stutter and intelligence are separate.
Jade Davis I had a classmate back in elementary school who stammered and good god she was a genius, she then changed schools, but I'm pretty sure she graduated valedictorian.
I'm a very impatient person and I speak really fast so I have a hard time adapting to different rhythms or speech patterns. This video is very informative and I will keep this advice in mind while trying to work on it in order to better myself and be more respectful. Thank you!
during school I was up always one who loved reading (you know that circle reading groups). I stutter a LOT, some people got irritated and finished my sentences or talked over me but my teacher was always patient and understood that I couldn’t help it.
:( That topic is so difficult. I feel like it's so misunderstood that I don't blame people for questions. One I hate though, is that they don't believe me when I say I can't exercise (due to mitochondrial disfunction that essentially starves my cells for energy when I do .) They refuse to trust my own life experience because in most situations exercise makes things better.
I used to stutter when I was little, and my parents and siblings yelled at me so much: "think about what you are going to say" for example, I tried hard to get better about it. I still stammer and stutter a bit now and then but its way better than it was and its nowhere near as bad as most people's, so I'm glad for that.
I met a guy for a talk who had a stammer. I didn't really know what a stammer was at the time but I did know the struggle as I used to have speech difficulties when I was young. The key is to be patient and never interrupt.
Those rude remarks these people mentioned are too relatable. Jesus that clicking sound, finishing my sentences, and telling me to hurry up are the freakin worst
Things people say to me; "Talk normal" "Hurry up" "Get to the back of the line so you can actually learn how to speak" (my highschool bully) "Oh I stutter sometimes!" "I am so sorry for you" (what you sorry for? I don't care I have a stutter and neither should you :/)
I never really noticed how bad stammering was for people and how noticeable it was until I was in my late teens. See, my dad stammers and I'm so used to it that I don't even realise when people stammer. I became friends with this one guy in my class who was often bullied and it took me about 3 months (when someone actually said it to me) to notice he stammered... It just wasn't "obvious" to me idk. Even now, I don't usually notice stammers unless it is incredibly debilitating or I expect it.
Lucie Holness like, you're so beautiful and I don't want to offend you. But like, I didn't noticed your stammer and thought, "why is this perfectly 'normal' woman in the video?"
"i'm sure you stammer because you talk too fast. You just can't think as fast as you talk" NO. I know exactly what I want to say, I may have even rehearsed it in my mind before talking. Actually it becomes worse the slower I talk and the more I think about it while I'm talking.
I heard that sentiment so much as a child that I started to believe it myself - it took seven years of that until I got a speech pathologist who actually knew what she was talking about.
The reason why saying your own name is problematic: The stutterers are used to swapping some words for the ones that are easier to pronounce. However, your name has no alternative so that's why it's such a problem sometimes.
