This Family Has Problems 

My son married into a wealthy controlling family that offered them a house when he married their daughter. We advised him not to take it. 20 years later he never took the house or anything else. They have 2 houses that they own and are very successful on there own....His father in law has to stay out of their decision s.

The divorce was planned before the wedding.

The minute you realize you are marrying the family and or friends instead of the spouse is when you run. Im talking from experience.

Just sign it and include that she doesn’t get any income from him should they divorce. If her family is wealthy she wouldn’t need anything from him.

He needs his own attorney, to protect both sides.

Family decided they needed the prenup. Family will build a house they can live in. Her family will run their lives.

Nobody’s going to talk about how he’s 28 making 500k?

The call is so funny to hear because the caller is rich, like 1%, but he is dealing with in-laws that are rich rich 0.1%.

This guy is just going to be an accessory to his marriage. "Apparently they are building us a house that goes into a trust". Who wants to be a guest in his own house for... the rest of his lfie?

"I'm marrying your daughter (granddaughter). I'm not signing a prenup and you are not building us a house. I will take care of that."

Her family can handle the inheritance with a trust, they don’t need a prenup.

He actually has money himself. The fiance has nothing. He should have a prenup for her too.

If he is going to sign that prenuptial, he might as well have her sign one so he is protected too. This really sucks considering he sounds financially intelligent and has his finances in order.

I love when people can be swift and to the point with their question.

I appreciate Dave's self-awareness and honesty about himself. This family will own their marriage - he needs his own prenup or run. The fiance has a lot of growing up to do.

This guy is incredibly articulate and clear at communication.

Dave’s introspection here was world class 👏 And he did it in front of a live audience. Lot of respect there 👍 Wish more people were aware of their own hypocrisies from time to time. We all have them.

I wish they had asked the lad his occupation. $300k and his only 28? Wowie!

something you didn't address that I think is important. he currently makes $300k / year with the potential for making $500k. he's working thru the baby steps. he has enough potential to not need her parent's money or house at all. sign the prenup, DON'T take the house from them, save enough money to build your own house and keep money out of the in-law equation.

Hey Mr Ramsey, I’m from Zambia and you help me and my friends a lot, I’m very thankful…

"Apparently, they are going to build us a house." That's easy. You say "NO". Buy or build a house for your family with your own money. She, as a wife, will have to accept the house you and her can afford without her family. They don't get to make financial decisions for your family. That's nuts.

Sooo, what Dave just admitted was that all his assets are tied up in various business entities and are safely harbored behind a wall of lawyers and therefore, he didn't ask his sons/daughters spouses to sign a prenuptial agreement. Same destination, different methodology. This family probably is first generation wealth, they worked hard for their prosperity, they have four daughters and this is the first daughter getting married, and they are freaking out playing the "what if" game. The funny thing, with his salary, sounds as though this caller has more to lose in the event of a divorce than the daughter.

I don’t see what the problem is. A marriage is an economic partnership so having a contract is a smart move. As long as the prenup protects the rights of both sides (given his high income), having a clean prenup is much better than having a messy divorce. Just hire a good lawyer to negotiate fair terms for you before signing it.

The poor guy sounds very indecisive, he can't even answer the question about how HE feels about the situation.

Yes to the prenup (subject to independent review by his own attorney) because he needs “protection” as much as she does. She doesn’t work and her assets are tied up in family trusts so in the eyes of the court she is basically broke. Despite her (family’s) wealth, he will be destroyed if/when they get divorced. Absolutely NO to the house! Best case, it will make his interactions with her family uncomfortable because there will always be an unfulfilled quid pro quo. Worst case, her family will use it as means to overtly exert control over their marriage. They will actually respect him more, eventually, if he declines the offer and creates his own legacy with their daughter.

I suspect that he is going to sign the prenup. He should just have her sign one as well. He won’t have access to her inheritance but in the event that she gets disinherited(because as he said she doesn’t have any of her own money) she can get half of his money.

Perfect example how MONEY controls people. You have to be like Dave who has been BROKE, to understand how you control the money, and not the other way around.

Dave talking about his control issues makes a lot of sense. "My way or the highway" with Dave. There's no gray area

EVERYONE needs a prenup. And everyone has one. Just some have one their spouse and the rest have one with the government.

Well, all other advice aside, I would kindly decline my parents, or parents in law building me a house that belongs to their trust. Wait another year at this high salary and build your own home. I can’t imagine many things more corrosive to a couple building a life together than the roof over their hands being owned by a trust controlled by in-laws.

After my bad marriage, what I learned is do not sow the seeds of resentment. This kind of stuff may not seem much, they grow like compounding snowballs eventually gonna crush everything.

You are being "Acquired" my guy.

Daves right... This is all messed up. They are controlling her with the money. The bigger issue is she is allowing it and if she isnt willing to tell them No, then she is choosing money over this guy and it will always be a problem. That is also why he feels weird about it- she values the money more than him.

Your marriage is doomed to failure -- not because of her Family having money, but because her family didn't raise her to work hard.

There's no way in hell I would want to be 28 making $500,000 and be subjected to somebody else deciding where I live and what that looks like outside of me and a spouse. No way. As far as the prenup goes what he needs to do is protect himself. Since she's so well taken care of, he can protect himself by making sure that she doesn't get any of his assets if they divorce. Simple is that. And this is an absolute necessity if he is going to marry her But frankly that sounds like an easier problem than dealing with this house thing where her family is trying to control and make him an accessory to their family.

Everyone who marries has a prenup: either the divorce laws of their state or a prenup they crafted.

This sounds like a script from the Ozarks 😂😂😂 those people wanna tear him apart

This was excellent. Ken is the best Ramsey personality, and he's absolutely right.

I have a bigger problem with the house than the prenup because it's an even bigger sign that there will be more to follow.

It’s not his money anyway, don’t worry about it. Just sign a fair agreement. Prenup is a beautiful thing.

Dave is hilarious 😆"sometimes my grown kids don't do what I i tell them to do " 😅

They REALLY need pre-marital counseling. A Catholic friend of mine was going to marry but they had to go to a LOT of counseling, much of it things they hadn't thought about. I bought a house with a long time friend but we went to a lawyer and drew up a contract which made splitting up about 7 years later calm; the lawyer too brought up a lot of important stuff we hadn't thought about. Cousins bought a house for a son when he was married (in both their names); when the son divorced her she got the house entire, my cousins were furious and said they'd only give it to their kid in the future.

Sign the prenup. It's inheritance. Just have a lawyer look over it. They are worth 100MM, I expect them to protect their assets.

It IS important to talk about the down sides of wealth. We don’t hear about that much. We’re all hyper focused on how to acquire wealth.

GREAT discussion!

Personally I would not want to marry into that situation. But it depends a lot on how your wife feels about. Ken tried to get at this but you wouldn’t say. That’s a red flag right there.

Dave, you nailed again. Thank you, thank you. i raised my kids the way you did its very rewarding. Im not rich.

This is a good situation for him. The topic was introduced without him asking. If he is going to make 500k put clauses in their prenup to protect himself.

Put the feelings aside about prenups because in this case, it is absolutely needed. The clarity of asset division in a possible divorce will make things cleaner and less headaches.

He needs to run. The in laws will control everything in his life and the wife will go along with it. Run.

Ramsey's personality came out bang on, shining in the end. David I'm a huge fan & I love your divine ethics, values, and toughness, emanating from great sacrifice, discipline and consequent experience....We really need to prepare for the next big thing and it will be very hard, especially for all those who have had it way to easy and soft. Calices rule!

Gangster move is to just say, "No. I'm not gonna." They gave him this surprise ultimatum so just toss it back on them. "No, I'm not gonna deal with that after the fact." Then it's her decision. Marriage or prenup. And if she decides she still wants to get married then her family can disinherit her if they're really that concerned or they can just get over it. They can't stop her from marrying him so they have to accept whatever she decides.

There’s no way I would have a partner that allows their parents to dictate the relationship. She’s already running to her parents when things “gets tough,” and the parents have hatred toward this man.

The caller should end the engagement. Should they marry, he'll be dealing with his wife's lack of ambition and a backbone, and her family's weird dynamic for the rest of his life or until they divorce.

This is a great conversation especially for us who are building assets & how we can help our kids, protect the businesses & stay off the unhealthy money monster 👹. Good content

Must be the Busch family.

Great one!

Her clan will hold her inheritance over her head (and subsequently his) for the rest of their lives. Run Forrest run!

I'm not sure why a prenup is required - the family trusts should be structured so that if they divorce, he gets nothing. Funds flow through the bloodline. It's not personal.

In North Dakota, courts have a 7 year limit on inheritance. After that it's marital assets and if up to a judge, will be split/for the value of.

The Human Callous is hilarious

Dave already said it: family trust. Also unless each person has separate counsel then this isn't very serious.

I think "He" needs the prenuptial agreement. Since his fiancee is not use to working if the marriage doesn't work out, he will be paying alimony and child support for years.

If they're putting a house in a trust, they want to control you. It's not a gift bc they still own it - its a ball and chain. It will be a scourge in your marriage and life. Run away. She can choose to come with you, or stay wuty them. That's marriage.

prenup,,protects both parties, but could be useless. foreign assets, can be a disaster. TRUSTS are great!

I love Ken on this show.

i like how it came full circle to dave being the exact same as the caller's soon to be in-laws 😂 you have to stay together or you get nothing is a high level of control and a prenup

They missed that Ramsey principle says that if there is a huge wealth disparity between the finances, there may need to be a prenup to keep extended family at bay for a few years til things settle down. The woman does not actually have any money. So the principle does not apply.

Run for the hills. You make enough money on your own!!

It sounds like a few hundred million dollars are involved and a prenup is in order. Get a lawyer on his side to represent his interest.

One eyelash away! Love it😆

The fact that this guy is even considering marrying this chick is a giant problem for him. He's so clueless calling her family great people and very down to earth. He's done soooooo damn well for himself and according to him he'll be making 4-500k per year within the next 2 years, and he wants to marry this chick who he says hasnt had to work and has no money (other than inheritance and trust fund)???

Dave might not be concerned but he had tons of lawyers from what he said in the past, make sure NO ONE will get his money but blood. That's his choice, I get it, no inlaws that think they can leave on his money but he did think about it. A lot

I wish Dave would actually answer the question instead of have a conversation about himself and his life with the other guy up there. The caller and his fiancée seriously need couples counseling because he seems to be marrying someone because she is probably pretty and fun and maybe glamourous. She is a quarter of a century old and knows nothing about supporting herself, apparently brings in no significant income and appears to be an airhead. He is probably a nerd who never had much female attention until he started making serious money and is bedazzled by this sort of glamourous woman who is little more than a teenager in maturity. He also has never thought about any of this and never mentions trusts, so is a lightweight in money management. A trust lawyer KNOWS the right questions the caller needs to ask. The caller doesn't need to worry what questions to ask. The point of the lawyer is to educate him so that he will know how to make decisions taking his and his fiancée's financial situations into consideration. You can bet that prenup her family has takes only her into account, leaving him wide open for being metaphorically raped and discarded in the event of a divorce. Do better Dave..

Seems to make sense for the family though? They probably have a bunch of vultures circling them all the time, after only the inheritance. If they split the family fortune with every opportunistic bachelor, they’d not be so wealthy very soon. Someone who will agree to sign the prenup isn’t in it for the money, and so they’re offering to provide a nice house for them. A way of sharing their wealth non-monetarily. Idk, that seems classy to me. I’m sure he’s allowed to refuse. Unless he’s planning on divorcing and taking off with her inheritance I don’t see why the prenup matters.

I interpreted his question this way: if she’s going to protect her potential inheritance, how am I going to protect my potential $500k income. He seems fine with the prenup but wants to protect what he’s bringing to the table. Imagine if he signed the prenup and her inheritance is protected but all the assets purchased by his 500k salary over the years are split and she’s never worked a day in her life. That would be pretty unfair. So it was never really addressed how he can protect what he’s bringing in.

I had no idea Dave was that self aware. I really enjoyed this call to hear Dave talk very honestly about himself. I had always gotten the vibe that he is a massive control freak. I have always felt that he would be a nightmare to work for or a nightmare to have as a family member. He seems to have a much better self awareness of that than I guessed.

This is a huge red flag especially the part of building a Trust house…unless you’re willing to be a puppet in your marriage, please run! 🏃 A man needs to be feel appreciated and respected. You’ll never make decision. Next you’ll be told when to have babies, and how many. She has no money herself, her family needs to connect her with a rich husband with no terms and conditions

This is a great dialogue

Get the prenup to protect your assets as well

He has plenty to support her. My mother tried to control me with money and I just finally gave her a check back and said no thank you. My sisters were not able to do that. She was still very generous to my husband and me but learned not to try to control .

Dave ALL Cars Break even the nice ones

If that’s how the family wants to play it, then he should add to the prenup that he’s allowed to retain everything they accumulate and grow that is directly tied to his income. Because you know that’s gonna be in the deca-millions eventually. If she’s protected to keep future wealth on her family’s end, he should get to keep all future wealth he builds from his toil😎.

8:39 That question seemed to scare Ken. He looked over to the side like, “Help!” Lol

He needs to run! 😮

“They’re engaged now. Let’s put him in his proper place.”

Get one to protect everyone

Be your own boss. No-one should control your life. Just because someone has money this does not mean they have the right to dictate. If it was me I would not want handouts.

We told our 16 year old son he needed to get a job and keep his hair cut. We were so mean!!! Now? He's an executive for a Fortune 100 Company. Oh, and he respects us and doesn't see us as his ATM. Best advice I can provide. Always be a parent FIRST to your children and a friend second. So many people have this backwards and it leads to disaster.

PreNup for both, problem solved!

In this situation right now. In laws control the whole family. RUN.

There’s nothing wrong with parents wanting to protect their daughter or son through a prenup. And it shouldn’t be a deal breaker and he should also protect himself as well. It’s a two way street. And most lawyers will advise is the best in terms of easy separation. It’s good to have conversations that you should be having already on paper.

In Missouri, real estate in particular goes to each spouse equally when inherited. There are ways around that with a trust.

Why is this a big deal? The untra wealthy family wants to protect their wealth (the audacity of them) and they didn't necessarily have knowlegde of the engagement beforehand.

Wouldnt a PreNup also protect him.? He’s making 300k and says 5:42 “nevr had to work” which means she dont know how to manage money, so in the event they split wouldnt a Prenup help him more so than her?

You absolutely sign that prenup bother ! I have a 12 paid rough draft now

You’re either all in or you’re not. A married couple needs to share everything. Money is part of everything.

She just falls in line with her parents bidding? At 25? Get thee to a premarital counselor yesterday! This is going to be a nightmare if she doesn’t start growing up and standing on her own. And don’t let them build you a house! You have a great income. Do it with your wife, together! Not her family.

Don't let the parents buy you a house. Buy your own house. Move far away. Has this gal lived on her own and taken care of herself? If not, don't marry her until she becomes more independent.

This young woman has never experienced the freedom of standing on her own two feet. She wants him, but she doesn't want to be cut out of the family wealth. This couple needs marital, relationship, and financial counseling before they get married or it will crash and burn.