This Is How You DON'T Play Jak & Daxter 

I have a theory about hell. The most evil people get put in to an amazing video game as the playable character, such as Jak, II, III. As they realise they are in a magnificent virtual reality and think about how much fun theyre going to have they then hear Phils voice 'Ok, ladies and gentleman, we'll be playing Jak and Daxter today..."

"Apparently this led to Jak 2 and Jak 3" NO FUCKING SHIT

Phil has the problem-solving skills and attentiveness of a 4-year-old with none of the creativity or dedication

As somebody who played all of these games as a child, and still plays them every now and then as an adult, this is unbelievably frustrating and enraging to watch, but also kind of hilarious. I love how Phil keeps calling the gameplay "inconsistent". Dude, the gameplay is not inconsistent. You just consistently suck.

43:20 "A fucking four-year-old could have done this better!" Is referring to the developers or himself?

This is still one of the best TIHYDP's ever made. Pure, no chat hand-holding, raw Phil sucking hard footage of a children's game before rage quitting one of the easiest collectathons ever made. This is the REAL Phil blind playing a game with some of the simplest game mechanics in the PS2 era and he still struggles like an 8 year old taking a calculus test. Just beautiful.

Phil >Teaches himself double jump spin. >Subsequently forgets about roll jumping.

"-didn't grow up in this era of platforming games, I grew up in the 2D era. So for me I'm actually suffering a bit here-". Dude, you are in your 30's. You were there for a good part of all of the different eras being born. Suffering? Give me a break, here.

I've watched this 2 or 3 times now and his ability not to use the O button is more amazing each time I see it.

"I'll say something really teary at the funeral, like, how am I gonna get changed back now?!?!?"

It’s quite amazing that it took him until Boggy Swamp in order to press the “O” button for the very first time.

4:17 "What the hell kind of place is this? Do you always just walk around asking for $100 from fuckin people?" Oh the irony if you put this in context to present day Phil's "business"

"I grew up in the 2D platformer era"... You're still growing up cause you're still a child... Me too, I grew up in the 2D era and when 3D platformer games came out, I adapted myself... Instead of going from left to right, you just go everywhere... I remember my first time ever playing Mario 64... No trouble at all... I learned the controls and adapted myself to this new perspective in games !! I'm sure it's the same for a lot of people !

He picked ONE thing in this game to listen to and actually do... which of ALL the fucking things happened to be... "DON'T GO TO MISTY ISLAND" - Samos are u fkn srs.

This truly was one of the playthroughs of all time. Im genuinely astonished at him being oblivious the spin attack for 70% of the game.

4:17 for a clip that has aged incredibly poorly, given modern-day DSP.

I was better at this game when I was 7 years old.

If he ever makes it to Jak 2 then I have 2 words to say to you: CARGO MISSION. That is all.

4:25 DSP: Can you lone me 500 dollars to play Minecraft?

Phil insults these GOLDEN GEMS! No one insults Jak and Sly! 30 years in the iso-cubes Philly boy! - I AM the LAW

God damn, when Phil starts making biblical references about why he sucks at a game, that's when you know you have an amazing TIHYDP

"That wasn't my fault." You know when DSP says this in the tutorial level, it's gonna be bad.

As one of many people who has perfected this game, even as a teenager, watching this is both hilarious and disgraceful at the same. XD And at 1:03:43 , that's pretty much saying "it's not that I CAN'T learn, I DON'T WANT to learn, all for the monies and views".

just think, who will phil blame when he dies in real life? "its a fucking glitch" -phils last dying breath

I haven't played Jak & Daxter before, and I'm sure I could do better than this guy.

58:35 Did he just ask how much platforming he had to do in a platformer? XD

Really? His excuse was "I only played for five hours"? The problem is more than his Jak and Daxter competence, it's his damn thought process. Not once does he wonder if there's something HE doesn't understand, it's "the game isn't helping me, waaahhhhh". "Grew up on 2D"? The way he complains, he couldn't get past Super Mario Bros on the NES! An entertaining LP features the player MAKING PROGRESS, and cracking a few jokes here and there. If you need to take time out to learn the game, DO IT AND EDIT IT OUT.

There's playing a game with an open/unspoiled mind, and then there's ignorance and attention deficits. Phil tries to be the former, but ends up being the latter. He can't even play a classic without acting so egotistical.

Phil could find a way to lose a graphic novel 'game'.

I wish Phil renamed his channel VideogameFailure

When im having a hard time with a video game, i refer to DSP's lets plays... So i can say, "at least im not as shitty as this guy."

mickle jeff's comment at 15:47 is incorrect. The eco beam mission has absolutely nothing to do with accessing the Dark Eco Plant boss fight. As someone who 100%ed this game at least thrice as far as I can remember, I know that the button at the top of Forbidden Temple leads to the passage to the Blue Eco Vent Switch that unlocks the path to the Dark Eco Plant. Regardless, watching DSP fail at a game my family has owned ever since it came out is nothing short of priceless.

I've never seen someone so bad at a videogame in my enitre life

*1 of the tiniest towns in all of gaming* Phil: I can’t tell where I am, this place has no map!

I'm just going to be that guy and say that Klaww was an easy as hell boss fight.

I recently did a play through of this game. Knew next to nothing, spent some time in the starting area figuring out the controls, and never had any real problem with anything afterwards. Amazing game, never understood how he had such a difficult time trying to beat it

I always come back to this video. It never gets old seeing a mid-aged dude fail at such simple game mechanics.

Little late but happy ninth anniversary to this video.

"i dont censor myself but ill censor other people if they dont agree with me" seems legit

The Precursor Basin (the driving level with the purple and blue rings) was my favourite level in the game.

I was 11 years old when I first beat this game. I find it remarkable how a fat 30+ year old has trouble playing it.

"I'm 90 years old and my balls still haven't dropped!!" R.I.P lungs

I came back to watch this again, and I noticed something. Towards the end of the game he starts complaining about the "horrible" game design with all the instant deaths. That's because the early levels have few if any bottomless pits or lava and have lots of water to cushion falls, so all that matters is your health, you can always survive three hits. But the later levels are filled with more hazardous obstacles and many things can kill you instantly. So what he's actually complaining about is the very good game design philosophy of having the game get harder as it goes on. As soon as the game starts to get difficult it's just "cheap".

If the game doesn't work like an escalator then Phil gets lost easily.

to be fair, that fish catching mini game at the time... was hard as hell lol.

"It looks like it will only open if we fill it with all 100 power cells." "OH FUCK THA-"

You missed a very PATHETIC death where he went to fight Gol and Maia on a moving platform... AND FELL OFF!

41:15 I about died laughing.

I still love how Phil learns how to spin during the swamp then promptly proceeds to forget how to spin.

This guy is the WORST at EVERYTHING! Stop playing games if you can't even learn a simple control! X,X & O! Double jump and spin! Raging like a little kid I mean damn Phil, you're really pissing a lot of us off. It's still funny to watch you complain over and over.

Wow, its amazing that he finds it in himself to rage over one of the most peaceful, bright and colorful, serene platformers out there. I mean, the beginning of Jak and Daxter is like taking a leisurely, stress-free stroll through a park on a sunday. But no, even here DPS manages to find something to rage about and act like the simplest game mechanics in the world are mystifying and out to get him...

You could've just looped the 1 minute 40 second incident and it would've captured the essence of everything Phil. What kind of person he is, what kind of gamer, and why he should stop existing.

About that rant of his, his argument is right, people who were young that played this game took time to fidure out little intricate things about the game to beat it, and grown up people usually don't have as much time to play through the game as they did when they were young. They had less responsibilities. Not that this is excusing him at all. Literally failing to press a button for like half the game, not listening to what the game is trying to teach him and complaining about bullshit like "lava kills me" is not excused by that argument. Like that one guy said, "There's only so much a game can teach you". And so long it can teach you the same thing before saying "yeah, they get it". There's also noticing patterns. Most people and especially adults should be able to notice those. And complaining about challenge and 'cheap deaths'? Someone needs to play Kaizo Mario to learn the difference between challenge and cheapness. Also, advice for life: "Look before you leap"

Is DSP the UmbranAlchemist? He sounds like a DSP clone. He literally says everything Phil says word for word.

04:18 Should be a clip. Phil asks for $150 from random people every stream now.

Did he seriously compare himself to Jesus when he was going on that rant in the Spider Cave? Good fucking god, Spider Cave definitely is a contender for most difficult level, but it isn't *that* hard.

Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again to expect different results.

Jak: What's happening, man? Why do I keep dying? Daxter: I don't know, man! I don't know!

oh my god when he figured out that spin attack i had tears in my eyes

Damn, the salt is real ladies and gents.

This montage was worth it just for his comment rant alone

I've been playing Jak and Daxter for literally two decades now- and I've never seen someone have this much trouble on Geyser Rock. This is going to be good.

For someone who plays video games for a living, he doesn't have a lot of gamer habits does he? For me when I start a game, I always experiment with the controls a bit to find out what I can do. DSP seems to need text that constantly pops up reminding him what to do, or a voice over to tell him. I find it hard to believe he's an actual gamer.

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long while. That epic rant is just completely insane. Hahaha.

Phil _"I spawn, I die"_ Burnell, befouls yet another childhood classic

This is a really well made "This is How You DON'T Play" video. Thank you for an hour and a half of laughter.

That voice clip at the very end that said "This guy thinks he's so cool ... listening to him OVER and OVER!" Was that from Spyro?

I love how he assumes that whenever someone is stuck at a section of gameplay for, what he probably thinks would be, more than 10 or 15 minutes, they look it up instead of bucking up and actually thinking about what to do. That's fucking rich. I know I've already seen plenty of his bullshit (and not just his very poor showmanship, sense of humor and skill), but I'm still flabbergasted at his inability to work with the game as any other competent gamer would. Working *around* it is another thing, and something you shouldn't have to do. I'll admit Jak and Daxter has some rare instances of camera or platforming problems, but about 95% of his troubles are from him probably not even trying at all or just lacking the appropriate (low level) of skill. There are MANY games out there that would seem like crocks of ass if the player wasn't able to properly... well, play it. I don't even care that Phil can't play very well. What I care about is his constant blaming of the game and just how much he dwells on a single mistake, all like a fucking 10 year old. "This is STUPID!", "So stupid.", "Yeah. Uh huh.", "Fuck this.", "Not my fault. Fuck you.", waa waa waa, etc.

I’ve never looked through the manual of a game to learn to play it. I just do trial and error in game.

There's a process to how Phil plays games. Don't listen, zone out, try to race through it, bitch about the game/developers, rinse repeat.

Salt x Mistakes + Rants = Pure Laughter

I've never played Uncharted, but I find it hard to believe that it could be better than the original Jak & Daxter. Not saying that it's bad. In my opinion, Jak & Daxter is just that damn good.

This single playthrough supplied me with a lifetime stock of salt. Plus my children, and their children. Three generations of salt contained in one video.

I had no trouble with this game when I was what, 10 years old? And this 30 year old can't figure the first level out.

4:24 the fucking irony.

I laugh every time I hear Phil call someone an "elitist" there's so much irony it hurts.

Disregard Spinning Jump, Acquire Cheap Death

The amazing thing about not figuring out the triple jump is that he learned there's a spin attack (eventually), and then never thought "I should attack this flying enemy with the omnidirectional attack I've learned while jumping." Like, even when games spoonfeed reasons to try certain things or THE LITERAL ANSWER to him, he can't work it out. Also, wow, 5 and a half hours. I can't go that long when I LIKE a game; it'd be insane to do that while enraged and having a rough time (suggesting I'm missing something). Perhaps concurrently, I've never needed anything near that to learn a basic mechanic. Except once, in the Telltale Sam & Max. You can run by double clicking, if you ever play Seasons 1 or 2 of that.

I could watch this man fail for the rest of my life.

1:20:30 I love that groan of frustration. Cracks me up.

Phil didn't even 100%ed the game, and he also skipped Misty Island and the boss of Forbidden Jungle (Dark Eco Plant).

I would love to see how quickly he'd rage-quit if he played "Prinny: Can I Really Be The Main Character, Dude?" That is a hard freakin' game!

Phil's rant about people wanting precursor orbs starting at around 4:15 is really freaking ironic, especially considering he now uses Patreon.

1:00:30 - 1:08:00 HOLY BUTTHURT BATMAN.

Phil: Adept at handling oily bananas.

All he had to do was touch the crystals under water. He just wouldn’t go deep enough

I love how I played through this game in 13 hours when I was 8, and he's struggling on the basics.

I replayed this game a week ago and I kid you the same thing happened to me at 43:26. It looked near identical that I couldn't help but laugh at myself for making the same mistake as Dave

"do you really want to see me repetitively die at the same part for 4 hours straight" as opposed to.....?

Yet another running theme of his. "I can't get past this part" = "the developers are trolling"

dude stop making it look like it's impossible, I could do it when I was 10

At 25:39 it shows a comment about how Phil should stick to fighting games because it's all he's good at. Phil is not good at fighting games either. He was good at Super Turbo. That's one fighting game. Unfortunately he doesn't seem capable of applying those fundamentals to any other fighting game because he is terrible at every other one I've seen him play.

DSP: "I'm just trying to figure shit out for myself, cuz that's what I do when I play games, I figure shit out for myself" and now you have the stream chat hold your hand through every playthrough now

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result

“50 of 50 Geyser Rocks.” lmao

I met Jak&Daxter when I was 10. J&D was my very first video game and I remember myself doing way better job than this guy lol

there needs to be a DSP mode in every game; where buttons stop working at random times, your character careens into bottomless pits on his/her own, basic moves are unavailable for nearly the whole game, and every death is followed by a 1 to 5 minute outburst about how the developers are assholes and how nothing is the player's fault. only then will we find out what it is like to be DSP.

How does one not feel the need to try what the circle button does?

ive prob beated this game like 10 times.. lol

This is fucking hilarious! How has he managed to not press o?