This is my review of Cats 

Every meowment of this film freaks meowt

This was a stronger example of pure horror and helplessness than every halloween-based movie this year, possibly this decade

This feels like a villain's backstory

Hearing how desperate and hopeless he is just by his voice, i can clearly say that this is one of the saddest stories i've ever heard.

My parents were dog breeders. I spent my childhood surrounded by cute cuddly puppies. I am 37 now, and a perfectly normal adult.

I love the delivery of each "yowling, prowling, *fucking*" You never fuck things up man

This has to be the most despair that the movie Cats has ever induced in a person, except maybe in the CGI teams that was put in the conditions where they had to produce such a movie

The phrase "I don't know if I'm 5 minutes in or 5 hours" implies that he is writing this review _while_ watching Cats (2019)

Truly poetic, almost Lovecraftian in its expression of existential dread.

Dude's literally getting Vietnam-level PTSD flashbacks from cats

The Cats movie fills you with special emotions. It's just that no human being wants to feel any of them.

Thought it'd be a review of every cat breed and really watched until the last 20 seconds still thinking, "So... when's the review starting?"

I watched Cats with a few of my friends once. A few of them had decided to play a game, where every time they cringed, grimaced, winced, or did something else, they had to drink a sip of apple cider vinegar. Just a sip, they didn’t want to go too crazy. I arrived 15 minutes late, and every single one who had taken part had consumed at least half a cup of vinegar. They all looked defeated. They had all given up. They stopped drinking the vinegar, because after a certain point they realized there wasn’t even time to take a break and breathe.

From cats he was born, from cats he shall leave this world. Yowling, prowling and _fucking screaming_

Round of applause for Jeaney Collects Voice acting skills 👏👏

This man has to be one of the best voice actor i ever heard, he made me feel like if i was listening to the person who wrote that

"Im 13 again. Im 25 again." ... "This is the worst thing Ive ever seen." Thats some dark life man. Also Im watching this at 3.11am with a raging flu. I think its time to go to bed

This is how villains are created. We better pray that he doesn’t create plans to exterminate all life on Earth.

I love how he implies he’s feeling nostalgic about this movie and then takes a full 180 to dunk on it

That ending line got me. “This is the death of all things. Fuck it.” Beautiful, sad and hilarious

I like the fact that every event happened exactly 12 years after the previous one

Can we take a minute to talk about Jeaney’s spot on acting?

This is why seals are the better pet

I thought this was gonna be about the movie at first lol Edit: Spoke too soon. My eyes were murdered watching this movie

Jeaney really just put the emotion into those rowling, prowling and fucking lines huh

My mans was traumatized so much and the Cats film put him over the edge.

A reminder that for a lot of people, Cats was the last movie they saw in-theatres before quarantines began, only cementing itself as "the last movie" for a significant amount of people for about two whole years. That or Sonic the Hedgehog.

My man got PTSD from a movie

Man, this was a true tour de force. The writing, the music, the raw emotion in the line delivery. Truly the performance ever.

Traumatic childhood experiences followed by "This is the CGI from Scorpion King" 🤣🤣🤣

Fun fact for movie buffs. Cats is actually the prequel to morbius. The creators never outright state it but you know its true because at the end when rum tum tum spreads his legs and says its tummin time you get goosebumps. Definitely one of the movies ever made. Right up there with morbius and its spinoff series, amazons lord of the rings.

As someone who had cats their entire life, knows the stage show by heart, and has been called a furry since 5th grade, I concur. Cats the musical, aka the 1998 film of cats, was something amazing and creative. 2019 cats, however, was abysmal. It ruined every song, every character, and is the closest thing to porn that is readily available to kids. By 1998, they removed a racist character because they knew better. 2019 cats brought the racist cat back. They made the two widely queer headcanoned characters as straight as they possible could when, in the show, one of them threw a rainbow around the stage as the other sang about how great the rainbow throwing cat was. I would rather be in solitary confinement than watch this movie for it's entire length without interruption. This is the only movie I would hope for there to be 50 ads in. Update: Mid-Nite Drive-Thru in the comments is correct, I was talking about the distasteful portrayal of siamese cats and Growltiger's extreme hatred for them in the deleted song Growltiger's Last Stand

"This is the death of all things. Fuck it". Oh, they will. They will.

Alright. I wanna do something different. Y'all are praising his acting. And I agree ! But I want to point out the splendid writing of the comment in itself ! The pacing, the rythmes, the leitmotif, the structure. Amazed.

Imagine finding that guy passed away, weeks afterwards. His dead body slowly having been consunbed by the malnourished and hoarded foster cats he surrounded himself with. Surrounded with to feel loved and warm and childlike, a spiritual return to when he was 13. The irony....

This two minute has more acting performance than the most of the tv shows on my country.

Thanks to this movie now everyone can have a taste of his oddly specific trauma.

I mean I didn't even have to watch Cats and just from the trailer I arrived at pretty much the same conclusion.

Warning: This Jeaney Collects episode is not free of Cats (2019) references.

when I watched this movie at the cinema I got up to leave when the credits started and immediately had to sit down again because I was physically light headed from how insane that movie is

Never once seeing this movie myself only makes all these reviews so much better.

I think this one may be your masterpiece, Jeaney.

Poor guy :(

This is relatable if you have 2 or more cats, I do.

Are you okay, Stolas-

You're laughing. He's reliving his traumas and you're laughing...

i feel like this guy is going to become our universe's Joker

I dont know why it took me so long (i mean, it was RIGHT THERE in the title) but... I though it was a review about cats. Just cats. The animal. Anyways, the suffering of this guy was portrayed wonderfully!

seems cool now imagine if this dude had an allergy

Poor guy has PTSD.

Indeed, fascinating what horrors the human mind can bring into reality

The piano music really brings it all together

*When the film with a budget that could've funded a 4th of a space shuttle prompts this dialogue to happen*

I thought about how what this guy experienced could only be done in todays modern society and then a voice in my head started reciting the unibomber manifesto. I can't do this anymore.

Great voice acting... I p*ssed myself laughing and my three cats look at me funny. Like "why in the holy litter-boxes name do he presume to disturb our peace?".

I don't know why, but the way Jeaney said 'fucking' the first time had me captivated and made me want to hear him read a script as a grizzled, desensitized film noir detective. I also find it very funny that that moment is the most replayed section.

Jokes aside the story has some really tight writing. :o

This wasn't just a tweet thread; this was art. Fuck. Now I have to animate it.

that moment when the main demographic of a show that should have loved because of their "strange inclinations" shares everyone else's opinion that the creation of the show is god's sign that the end times are upon us.

I still firmly stand by the belief that everything that has happened since Cats was released to theatres, is punishment for releasing it in the first place- the pandemic, war, Betty White's death, everything, is revenge from the universe

One of my regrets about the pandemic was that, had I known I wasn't going to be able to see a movie in theatres for the next two years, I wouldn't have chosen Rise of Skywalker. I would have chosen Cats.

Me: I want to write a scathing review about Cats DM: You must first pass sanity check on disadvantage. Me:4

This unironically makes me sad because with the voice acting and how vividly they described their experiences with cats they’re clearly scarred in some way and this movie triggered it. Or I might just be overthinking again

It should have ended with "7/10 would watch again"

Well shit, he ain't wrong.

Your voice acting, oh god I can *feel* the despair that the review represents, i can literally hear the events in my head, i can feel the anger and the fucking, oh god, that's horrible, no one should suffer this fate

That final 'fuck it' makes me feel like the speaker has given into the hypnotic thrall.

As a furry, I feel slightly offended but I will let that slide because this is genuinely the most emotional and beautiful and so... Colorful review... It's as if an entire world has opened in my hand, on my fingertips, and I'm watching it, slowly diving down into a story, horrible and adorable, happy and absolutely terrifying all at the same time. It's like I'm out of my world right now, like I've transported, transcended to a place completely different yet so similar, better, but worse. I can't feel myself - all I can do is watch and listen. It's like watching a football match with your favourite team. And then, the story end abruptly, scaring me back into my feelings, my world, my reality. It's like I never was there in the first place, like it was a fever dream.

This was a better performance that the movie tbh.

And people wonder why Ultron wanted to destroy humanity after 5 seconds on the internet.

This is not a review, it is a tragedy in three parts

"... This is the worst catamine trip. ..."

Overall, movie gets a solid 7/10, would watch again.

Next review is coming when he's 49

Wow, that was emotional, more than I would have hoped.. Very scary honestly

I watched this while the best background music possible was playing for this on the tv.

seems like he had a traum-cat-ic experience.

I love that it ends with "fuck it"

Cats was pretty bad, but frankly if enough people had a bad experience in a paper mill you'd find someone who'd consider stationary to be the devil. I mean, fair, they do a lot of demon summoning in paper mills, but that's really beside the point.

I dont want to eat my cereal anymore.

this reads like a kurt vonnegut story

I watched this film in theaters. I loved every moment of it.

"This is the worst ketamine trip" Well it is Cats

ANYONE ELSE GONNA MENTION EACH TIME WAS EXACTLY 12 YEARS APART?!

when i first saw it i genuinely liked it and then everyone started hating on it and i didnt know what to do

This man: Watches Cats the movie Also the man: **Vietnam flashbacks**

This is it, the Great American Novel.

As a furry I feel the need to point out that the Furry community IS NOT AT ALL represented by the movie "Cats."

Seems purrfectly normal to me.

"Half in, half out anyway." - Constantine on cats. The catacombs, yowling, prowling...

Eat your heart out, Lovecraft

So poetic. Beautiful video

When Dame Judi Dench clasped her human hands together and peered stralgt into my soul in the final number, I half rose out of my chair and couldn't sit down again. It was the crowning moment of the most violating experience I've ever had at a theater. 9/10 I own the DVD

My god... Not only was that amazingly written, and a rollercoaster of that man's life... But it was amazingly brought to life, all thanks to Jeaney! 👏👏👏

Really just expected 2 minutes of sobbing and screaming

It is the death of cinematic meaning and it makes me ill at ease.

Fate had led him to that point. It had led him through sights to see, sounds to hear. It had led him to the words he would tweet.

the fact that this story sent me into fight or flight mode proves the intensity of this shocking tale

This sounds so fun. In my 31 years I have never heard of seal point birmans

I love this channel so much