This is WHEN You Should GET MARRIED ​⁠ 

👉 Dating Cards: www.hardlyinitiated.com/products/dating-deck

For women my age… 46… don’t date potential. This couple started out broke together… there’s a difference. Be wiser not weaker and desperate older women ❤

Every man I've ever dated was broke. It's not about being broke monterily, it's about being broken mentally. It's fine if you're not at your financial goals but at least be trying. My bf was still drinking and partying every weekend and then asking me for money while saying he had all these real estate financial goals. His actions simply didn't match his words at all. This man actually made more money than me too. But he was always broke because he made poor decisions. It's about being mentally whole and mature. My bf wanted to still live like he was in his 20s at 34. I had to let him go.

I notice women say money is not as important as intimacy however it’s connected. A woman can not build intimacy when they know and feel that finances are strenuous and he can not support them. She is mentally stressed and drained and unable to be emotionally available to receive or give affection. Unfortunately, it’s easy for a woman to say he’s awesome in all these areas when they finally get financially stable but when he wasn’t women are debating on whether to remain or finally give up. Money does matter. She will stay if he’s providing the lifestyle for her and there children. May not be intimacy but she’ll stay because he’s providing everything he believes and say she wants including intimacy. Society has conditioned and normalized jumping in and out of relationships as if we were playing hop scotch. As soon as the relationship puppy love phase wears off then people get annoyed easy and leave. Then get another dopamine hit when getting into a new relationship. The euphoric sensation of being loved bomb is addictive. It feels like love but it’s just someone treating you extra special for 4 months until it stops. Stop casual dating

I simply love y’all! You are the male influence we need within today’s culture. So many RU-vidrs/ male influencers shed light on ratchetness and they call it “modern women.” We all understand, this does exist today but the type of modern women I resonate with are simply women trying to survive and make honest livings. However, nobody sheds light on women and men who want to develop and grow both mentally and spiritually within relationships. You are what we need and you are definitely making an impact on your people.

So, So happy this couple was invited and spoke about marriage in this manner and the strength of mindset, work, and choice. A growth mindset!

This is going to be big because I'm in a relationship now and let's see if I'm ready for the next step. I believe I still have some internal work and we will work through it together. Great episode I have to rewatch this.

The. Bible is our guide... For each individual and for Husband n Wives....together as. One ... ❤

Something I’ve noticed is that some people look at relationships and marriage as this tactical system. Yes, there are certain things that we all may wonder and there is a basic common foundation that should be present BUT I think relationships should be natural. The same way we form friendships, romantic relationships should just be two people getting to know each other and flowing/vibing. If you don’t want to be committed, simply don’t do it. Too many questions, worry, fear, hesitation just ruins things. Ryan said he doesn’t want to be in a long term relationship but seems to push himself into thinking that he should eventually get married. If you don’t like and love a woman to the point of committing, you’re doing her and yourself a disservice by entertaining an exclusive relationship let alone a marriage. Not everyone is meant to be married.

Great Choice of Guests!! I’ve watched them for years. They are actually trained therapist which is so GOOD! (So many on RU-vid have 0 credentials). I learned lots from your interaction with them! Good job all.

I tried to go deeper with a guy I was dating but he wanted to stay in the surface. And couldn’t make eye contact during important conversations. When I broke it off he said I didn’t like him for real. I didn’t know who he was to like or dislike him

You guys have the best guests on your podcast (LITERALLY). Thank you sooooo much for another successful show. As a divorcee, I would like to navigate the dating pool in the near future; but I need to do ample research before I dive in. THANK YOU THANK YOU , THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL SHOW. I LEARNED SO MUCH.

Thank you for presenting the perspectives of a couple that can be a tool for both the couples who are preparing for marriage and for me still learning tools and explanations within my own marriage of 13 years. We had our share of struggles in the first 5 years, and defined the hardness of marriage, But God! We had to learn to be friends within our marriage as we choose to help it Grow. ❤ On Sept 1, 2023 we will celebrate 15 years together and reflecting on how GOD kept and blessed us, as we continue to GROW ( 14.9 month age differences) ❤

I admit I have a tone issue But I'm freaking working on it

I love how they’re matching each other! They’re so intentional in everything they do 💗 loved this conversation! Truly sharing the wealth of knowledge about love & relationships through this podcast.

I spent the last year going through my healing. It started before my last relationship ended because the healing helped me break up with him. I feel like I’m finally recovered. Now I see why successfully married people always say you have to do your healing first. My self esteem is so much higher and I’m holding boundaries within myself because now I know I deserve better, I know who I am, and what I want. The first time I held a boundary for myself for something I have been trying to change about myself for some years, I was like ohhh now there’s no wayyy I would let someone else treat or talk to me poorly if I won’t even let myself do it.

This was so very helpful! I am single and ready to be in a relationship putting in the work has been hard but my willingness to see self is so real! I liked when she said it’s on going. I am a giver and love taking care of others but I also put others before myself a lot! Thank you for this, because my growth is my success! ❤

I'm so here for having the discussion about substance use in relationships. Especially with weed being legal and drinking.

This is the question I've been asking God lately and I couldn't answer the question so I'm excited to hear the answer!

I’m loving the marriage episodes!!! Keep ‘em coming!!

I think you should get married when you’ve found the love/connection that you desire to have forever. When you have a bond that is mutually fulfilling and beneficial to both parties, when you are willing to work together to better yourselves and one another, and when both parties are willing to put any needed work…I think you may be ready.

Great topic guys. Ryan, I know you have reservations about a long term relationship and marriage and how will you know if you can make it work, one of the things you should consider is maybe you have never felt real love and when that right person comes along, please trust and believe you will know and that will be the beginning of your journey for a long term relationship. I appreciate you candor and pray your Ms Right will come along when the timing is just right. Much love and success to both you and T.

They are the real deal... we took their communication challenge and learned so much❤️

MUCH, MUCH, MUCH respect to the hosts for having the Ma'ats. I miss their YT channel, however I know this will be full of wisdom.

Great episode guys, thank you. I learnt that while i think I'm good with personal awareness, my heart just isn't open yet. Also noticed that Ryan was a lot more engaged with asking questions cause he didn't have to manage superchats and polls 🔥. We appreciate you!

Words have meaning It is very possible to be married and not argue because to argue means to express opposing views typically in a heated or angry way. But to have a disagreement means you can have different views which you can agree to disagree in addition can disagree with controlled emotions leaving room to talk things out in a healthy way.

Wow!!!! Been following the Miat's for a longggggg time and love them! They are so inspirational. Thanks for bringing them to the Hardly Initiated platform!!!❤❤

This conversation was fire!!! Thank you!

What i got out of the conversation was communication is the key, not money or sex

I absolutely love the ma'ats. I used to binge watch all their videos. Love the way they look at each other and regard each other

This was very informative and I learned a lot!!

I’m so thankful for this! I’m currently engaged and sometimes wonder did we move too . Not only do I wonder if I’m ready but if he is. We do love each other very much but love isn’t enough.

This was so good… I appreciate this show

For me i got tired of casual relationships. As i got older i started looking for more meaningful relationships.

As a Zulu girl myself I am so happy to hear how he went about with his name. Ayize bhuti wam (my brother)

🎉🎉I love this couple and their message!! Real and direct…. How who we are and have been can help us in our relationships!! ❤

🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾This was a great episode!!

This was a great episode! I love how they broke down codependency and I learned so much! 🔥🔥

Oh WOW you brought The Maats on your show. This couple are amazing and have beeb doing their thing for a long time. Love them and what they do. I will definitely be watching this episode.

Guys, thank you for these guests!!!

Oh wow. 'KIMATHI' is a name from my tribe (KIKUYU) in my country KENYA 🇰🇪. So good to hear you adopt the African name.❤

Scriptures are very detailed... With every aspect of. Life....

I love love love how this couple gear their marriage.. I been following them for years...

Well Done my Brothas 💯💪🏿

Great information

Great Discussion!! I love Ayize & Aiyana Ma'at!!!

I enjoy your podcasts.. I must say this was one of my favorite informational ones.. I know this one will be right up there with Pastor R.C Blake's & the beautiful woman Mrs. Lisa Blake's when you get them. Hint hint.. no pressure 😅

BINGOOOO!! TY HIT IT Lack of Sex /not good sex....does have the same weight to lack of finances in a relationship!!! Why and how? Because sex is connection to ur partner/security to trust ur partner DURING sex (your body trust....sorta spiritual)......and, paying bills/having money also builds trust and security

Dennis become a member! You wont regret it

Anxious attachment styles will choose an avoidant attachment style.

He didn’t explain codependency correctly but I kinda think I knew where he was trying to come from… codependency you become an enabler.. a savior, a fixer… his wife explained it well!!! ❤

Yall go hit like 👍🏾

That "shake" that she mentioned doing at a high point of pain/frustration sounds like somatic shaking. Sometimes, to process stress out of and away from your body, you literally need to shake/move your body to emotionally self regulate. *disclaimer* Im not a somatic therapist. Im a licensed massage and Bodywork Therapist but I have discussed this type of work with other professional therapists.

Beauty is not enough because beauty fails 🤷🏾‍♀️but good character will always shine. Must be a team player on both sides and willing to commit to the relationship. Never married anyone just for finances because anything can happen and sex is not what keeps you married. Put God first and pray 🙏🏾 every relationship is different

I believe that Men just take care of women financially and women take care of men emotionally and physically so what is she talking about. She has a millennial mindset. For sure !!! There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting the man she loves to take care of her. And she’s giving her all too what is she talking about women bring way more to a man beyond looks and Sex!!!

Ryan needs to go to therapy and see why he has commitment issues. He also need to stop casually dating for a year while he searching for that answer as he aint even present into them anyways.

adorable couple...in your pink..... All. Praises to the. Most. High....

Nobody ever is

I’m ready! Let’s goooooo

18:03 pinned this whole interview, in my opinion. # connection

Re men not having $…it depends on what age you meet someone. Like he doesn’t haven’t to have 6 figures but having a ‘career’ after a certain age! Have an income to go along with all the other cute qualities. But men shouldn’t be still trying to find themselves in your mid to late 30’s and above even if you’re still developing. Development is a life journey…

Emasculation and frustration on both sides can cause erectile dysfunction. The mental and emotional health of the relationship may have a large influence on performance was it short-lived or not at all on either side

Congratulations On your. Marriage .. Ephesians 2:10...

I believe we should explore too because as she said that’s how we know what we like but But isn’t masturbation a sin? And could that contradict marriage?

Zulu -Ayize, South Africa 🇿🇦🌍

Tyshaun is hilarious

The husband explanation of codependency is really "controlling" he wants to be in control of his wife..kinda like being possessive...I think he needs to rethink on the right meaning of codependency because thats not what codependency means....but then again since she said hes a pisces man it explains why hes like that. (im not into astrology cause thats not where our identity comes from).

We should date to collect the data on a person. Dating isn’t for marriage. Date to court then court to marry.

Yes it CONNECTIONS not necessarily “good sex”

Actually.... Guys should... Give spiritual...counsel to. The. Husbands.... Wives should. Councel the. Ladies.... To mauntain ...Holiness... Sooow we have to remember not to take our jobs out of Content.... Or. Leadership...

BLAM4Life

Ephesians 2:10.... We have to... Be it daily ... For. Our. Creator... Our. God... Our. Father... Our. Savior... Our. Holy. Spirit.... Our. Intercessor....

❤❤👌🏾

People want too much certainty in life .... oh my days .... I'm those people 😅

Have. Fuuuuuun... Enjoy.... Share.... Create... Build.... Invent.... Learn... Multiply... Be. Fruitful .. Righteously...

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I think the codependency makes....couples... the. Best.... It's not for everyone... It's good for kids to learn it with parents... To be the. Best again.... Vice versa.... Ephesians 2:10...

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I fo ... Belive that. My. Husband. and. I ... Will. Fulfill. The. Oneness.... That. We. Want..... and not even...worry about anytjing else.... God. Husband n. Wife.... Hioly. Matrimony....❤

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Discussion is different from arguments..and i think the wife (guest) needs to understand the difference. Saying that a couple who doesn't argue means they are trying to avoid something or hide (might go for few) but generally when a couple is mature and understand each other, they don't argue...they discuss the issue, solve it and move one. i personally wouldn't want this couple to "coach" me to know if im ready for marriage because i definitely will end up making bad choice and divorce that man by some of their advices which isn't from GOD. (no offence) GOD is the only person who can guide me perfectly without regrets in everything that life entails.

Money + Sex = same chakra (Root)

Pointing to the host and saying, “you’re right” and then pointing to her husband and saying, “but you’re not right;” I am out. Probably some toxic bs message.

Ryan grow up i beg 🫤 stop casual dating and do things you enjoy without the need for a bed warmer. Love will come along naturally...hopefully 🤞🏽