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Whenever I'm feeling quite lost in my relationship, I always resort to your advises. They give me so much reassurance, and I find great comfort in the way you make sense of painfully difficult circumstances. Always gives me the drive to take a step in the right direction. Thank you, Brian!
Some things I’d like to dive into a bit to get more understanding: 1. When you say “get to know the real him”, do you believe it’s a woman’s responsibility to always pull the “real him” out, or would you recommend that men also need to learn how to be more communicative with their authentic selves? Many women already try getting men to open up, but many men refuse to open up because they perceive any vulnerability as a sign of weakness. That’s not something a woman can fix unless she’s a therapist, and even a therapist can’t make a man open up if he doesn’t want to. His authenticity is his responsibility. 2. You give this example of your friend’s love interest ghosting him, but don’t give us a specific step to “keeping a man committed” (as if we can actually do that lol). Are you trying to say “don’t ghost a guy and he’ll be committed”? Please give clarity to this part. 3. Yes, we should all be our authentic selves. But to claim that this keeps a man committed? Unfortunately many women’s’ experiences show that once they start becoming more authentic, most men withdraw, have affairs, etc. they don’t want real relationships because men are socialized to think relationship is a weakness. 4. Doing something active? Again, I’m not sure you’re actually in touch with women’s’ perspectives here. Women are ALWAYS trying to accommodate to men. We usually do what they want to do, and when we bring up things we want to do, they usually act like that’s “too girly” for them. Activities should not be gendered, but sadly, they still are, and things that are considered “masculine” are seen as acceptable to everyone, but things that are considered “feminine” are still largely seen as exclusive to women and girls and are perceived as inferior to the things considered masculine. Telling women to simply accommodate more in this way is not only unequal, but doesn’t keep men committed. I’ve seen men get with amazing women but not commit and men get with women that don’t show a sign of uniqueness and worship the ground she walks on. Men commit because they want to. That’s it. Either they’ve got enough of their shit together to be ready for commitment or they don’t.
There is truly no formula to love. I prefer to be authentic and not worry about making him commit. If he commits great and if he doesnt ... great too as it saves me time of dealing with a man who plans to leave. I have found that if a man truly loves you, he will be the one trying to keep you, no matter how high your standards are.
@@luckycharm1212 lol I’m completely fine with my authentic self. But most men don’t want authentic women. They want women that please them until they’re bored and want someone else.
@@luckycharm1212 just because I’m asking questions and making observations doesn’t mean I have self esteem issues. People can ask questions, and should
If you are having these kinds of problems with men or you are one of those girls who says “women put in all the effort but all men are jerks, all men are…” , then you have some issues of your own in your past that makes you seek abusive relationships. You migh deny it but traumatised women always go for abusive men to repeat the same cycle of familiarity. You need to get therapy if you truly wish to be in a healthy relationship.
We have to see each other as we are and how we can become. We also need to remember we are not perfect and will make mistakes. Be who you are but strive to be better. You have to be willing to work on the relationship. I tried to encourage my husband to spend time together doing a variety of things. It just never really happened!! My list of activities was long but not extravagant. You don't need to spend a ton of money to enjoy time together.
Would love French people to be able to listen to you too… we don’t have anyone with your unique spirit ! I have French connections that really need your advices and stories
Each of these videos are making me more aware of myself and my mate. I am feeling like I'm less and less and LESS of anything he wants in his life. I am unable to apply any of the positive things you're speaking about. Even when he shares those 'fond memories' I feel like he is making fun of me more than he is sharing a passion for something we did. A passion for mE being the one he shared that moment with.. . I'm embarrassed AF!
Loved this advice because I always second guess if I showed too much of myself, but why would I be with someone who doesn't make me comfortable to be myself or like who I am.
You have a gift. I could watch your videos all day long and never get bored. Your content is solid with a good amount of humor, and that accent... yep. Big fan.
These videos are calming my anxiety over not being with him and realizing I was putting him on a pedestal and he was withdrawing. I will know how to deal with him when he comes.
I found your channel a few days ago. I have a new boyfriend and am struggling a little with trust issues, etc. Your videos are very informative and entertaining! I'm a new subscriber.
This is the first time I've ever saw your video, and Hiet, I like your style, you have a cool way of explaining your examples in a way anyone can understand. I'm an instant subscriber😁❤️
THUMBSUPTHUMBSUPTHUMBSUP!!!!! 4th time listening to this guy and I KNOW I need not listen to a single word before I THUMBSUP!!!!!!!!! LOVING HIM!!!!! (will create a playlist asap with him mostly on it!!!!). LOVE THIS GUY!!!!!!!
Ty Brian. My master plan was to dye my hair red and put on my best linen dress and sing rather poorly I might add, " Make up your mind" by Florence and the Machine in the middle of the living room. 😆
I beginning to watch this kind of advice because of what I facing right now . Me and my best friend Im beginning to fall for him he doesn't know and suddenly he told me he meet the girl he like for all those flirting we do it's just me I'm fall but he told me I'm he's priority even he have like someone I'm crazy to choose to stay his side but now I watch this it's like a bomb to me it's really not okay this kind of feelings it's affecting my whole life it's so painful and I don't want to sleep so that It can't running my head
What I find odd is I wanted to do more and for the most part he wanted to do less and less, just go through fast food lines and run errands or sit in front of the TV. However the most exciting and unexpected and romantic weekend we spent was the last time.we saw each other and after that he was "too busy" and put everyone else ahead of me during the holidays. I never understood that. We were together for 10 months and suddenly the communication abruptly pretty much stopped about 1.5 weeks before it and he had no idea when he would have the time to see me. I was trying to do inexpensive things together before that romantic weekend so we could make more memories. He would rather do those with his friends.
Why were you trying to do inexpensive things? And let the man do the trying/make the effort. It’s obvious he’s no longer interested and you need to move on. A woman should always keep a slight air of distance to her no matter how long you’ve been with a man. Never make the relationship the only thing you think about.
You are by far one of the best spoken ones I’ve seen here. Logical reasons, insight, wisdom. No fake bs abt “how 2 get a guy fASt”. Genuine tips. Thank you. Great tips for real men & love
Why that was driving guy crazy, because a. she allowed him to kiss her, meaning that she is interested in this man more than in others; b. She showed interest; c. She was talking about the future - all those things together say that she is serious about this man, but suddenly disappears. If she was distant and didn’t rush things, that it wouldn’t be a problem if she pulls away. His reaction is normal and adequate to this situation. These players have a separate cauldron in hell🤫
I was always half cut when I'd speak to him, always had my beer googles on,the first thing I ever said to him was" I love your name!"what did I get from him nothing!nat a thing!so I didn't like him(i actually hid from him the next time I saw him),,but I do now he's slightly amusing 🤣he knows I'm such a catch🥴🍻
Very interesting!!! And so true! What video or book from you would you recommend for this situation: I'm a really empathetic person, nice, understanding and loving but I only meet emotionally unavailable guys that finally make feel I'm not worth it, sometimes I think I'm trying too hard, but it's just who I am, I don't really know what I'm doing wrong.
I think as women who are empathic, we give to much. Men by nature are hunters. They want to earn everything they have. Period. So don’t give away your support, emotions and beautiful heart too soon or to just anyone. You give it away to the guy who “earns” it. Some people say I don’t want to play games, but that’s what dating really is isn’t it? It’s a dance, it’s the mating dance/game. Once a man earns you, shows you, THEN and only then does he deserve the beautiful heart you have. Even then, men feel more love when they are doing for US. Remember that and try channeling your empathic energy to other facets of your life (and not him).
I'm learning about that boundary myself. I'm learning to put up a shield and use those gifts to fortify myself and give them to animals. They don't have an agenda. The minute I let my guard down with the wrong people they sense that and it's game over. That's when their real personality comes out if they are the wrong kind of person for me. I'm learning if there is something that feels a little strange in the beginning then I need to pay attention to it and observe and try not to let my heart get invested until I can figure out what's going on. Sometimes I thought it was strange because he was different in that he was such a nice guy but later found out he was hanging onto things that sabotaged our relationship. (Couldn't let go of an ex and kept comparing me and everything to the past relationship and called me by her name, or kept closing off emotions, etc.)
I don’t really care to wear no makeup, have messy hair, or wear workout outfit and he seen by the world. I can doll up nicely but not always. I figure, guys bare face all the time and think nothing of it, I can do the same. It takes some getting used to, to rid off self consciousness. However after a while it’s quite liberating. Granted I am single not dating. If I’d see someone, I’d doll up more frequently ;)
Ugh. If a man ever showed up for a date dressed nicely and wearing deodorant I think I would faint dead away. My last date showed up wearing white shorts & no underwear. There were sweat stains all down the back of his shorts. Yuck!
🤣 You describe men as dogs ! Feed him twice a day, take him for a walk, do not mind him being messy..., tell him he is a great man...What are we, are we cats ?
6:38 😔 this is something I’ve always been insecure about. growing up with a psychopathic narcissist dad, I’m terrified to show weakness. Esp in r/s. I use my attractiveness, but fear them seeing my heart.
Mr. Nox, Do men still seek virginal women? It is probably unrealistic, however, they do still exist but certainly would be considered on the endangered species list.
I have a man I know he chests I caught him in my own car with another woman.we hardly have a normal conversation on phone.he speaks rudely to me.he says he loves me very much but that is not the case.he is on phone alot which never used to be the case.i need to forget this man I need to move on from him.i have tried no contact I keep calling him
