I’m 62, and in my experience with older men is that they are all already “married” to his children, who control every step of their father’s life. And the reason is jealousy and fear of losing inheritance. Now, I’m looking only childless men just to avoid that drama.
Even at 65, I have 2 to chose between. Im paying attn to their behavior so I can make a wise decision. They're both much younger than me. I never dreamed the biggest pool of men for me would be in their early 50s.
@@monikavarro2020 I feel so bad for you, poor thing. But yeah we are programmed and told by society that our self worth and everything we do has to be marketed to please guys, but I'm just so done and stop following these so called 'advice channels' as what is meant to be will be and not a game
Yes being your authentic self attracts the right one eventually. But the focus should never be on attracting a guy but just respecting your true self and being your self
3:00 In my experience, this strategy woks wonders when you're looking for a job. If the recruiter senses that you have options, because your attitude shows it, they treat you more seriously (you can always act as if you do, even if you don't have that many of them)
Growing up, I thought people just fell in love, got married and lived happy ever after. Little did I know there would be books and classes😅 I give up✌️
And why texting someone straight after a date isn’t part of abundance mindset? To me abundance mindset is to be genuinely and unapologetically myself, and not being afraid to loose a guy whether I will or will not text him.
I want a relationship like I had before cell phones were created. Call me! Let's chat. There's something about that playful tone you don't get through texting.
I love that you used The Bachelorette TV program as an example. You nailed it. So many women need to hear your message!! Right now, I have attracted,in the last month, after being involved with a toxic narcissistic guy, who I dumped, 9 months ago to his shock, who is stable, kind, caring, compassionate and communicative male who contacts me daily, more than once a day. I had to heal myself first, which I did by watching certain videos thru RU-vid to understand how men think! I did the work on myself, now I am reaping the rewards. It is the best relationship I have ever experienced. You make sense. Thank you, so much, Brian!!.
Most people don't get abundance mindset because we are overpowered by this crippling fear of being alone. I think to get an abundance mindset, one really has to be comfortable with or perhaps even love being alone. At least that is my understanding of it. It is very liberating to not be afraid to be alone!
I love all of your advises Brian, but all these mind games are just too tiring. I'd rather be myself. If no man would want me, I'd be fine and happier. Being myself is important to some people like me because we don't like wasting time and life is too short to play mind games.
I know what you are saying and I love your videos. But I have to say something about this one. I'm NEVER short of options. I can go on a new date once a week, every week, and without trying: I'm not on a dating site. BUT.... I fell in love 6 years ago, and I can't stop wanting him, even if I had to walk away from a situation that made me feel demeaned. The "options" are an illusion, because no one compares.
I don't get why ppl are so desperate. I don't care . I love being single. I've been married before and never will do it again. A real hot guy could flirt with me and I don't get all weird. If I go on a date I'm not nervous. I don't worry about him texting me or calling me. If he don't get ahold of me again or not for a week, I don't care. I don't feel I have to be anything else but myself. If someone doesn't like me, oh well. It's so freeing to not be like those clingy needy women. I'm happy on my own.
That's why I told my daughter that the Bachelor is unnatural. All those women fighting for 1 man? Count me out. The woman is the flower. The men are the bees. Be the flower, not the bee. You ARE the prize!
Unfortunately, online dating is like the bachelorette in many ways. Everyone has so many choices and are looking for an instant connection. Even if you value yourself, it does not make dating easy
"Seniors" are invisible. Well, not real for baby boomers. 60-70s year old are way contemporaneous and never taken seriously as part of the group seeking quality partners. 40% of singles are people in that age bracket. Lots of potential there!!!
Interesting topic, BUT if a woman knows where she stands with the man, she will not be anxious.... the man has to make his intention clear, she will not have a reason to wonder nor be anxious !!!!!!!
the worst thing they will say, must be intimate/6 (An intimate relationship)!! their first concept about if i cant see you at least once in the month/3 months, it'll never works!! okay what if the girl don't want to have 6 ... until she get married!? in the past it works fine, but know they put some silly things just to say it'll never work. if a man and the woman was so honest in this long distance relationships believe me it'll work ... it's up to the one of them because one will be serious the other maybe just wasting his time or play around!!
I recently verbalized and written down my very high standards for a relationship alongside with a must have list of traits of any man who’d want to be with me. It helped big time. I’m out socializing, very open to everyone until he proves himself wrong in which case he’s out. I don’t lower any of my standards, nor tone down my very playful and happy nature nor my strong sexual energy which got activated alongside my self-esteem. I’m happy and fulfilled on my own. If someone wants to join my party, they’re welcome. Men are literally standing in row and pull out their best behaviour! And I used to be a woman of very low self esteem and compromised boundaries all my youth, despite my beauty. Men ofc treated me like dirt. I had to realize it was ME who let that happen. Finally I’ve self-corrected and things are just going in the opposite direction. Do the work on yourself and you won’t even care if there are men around you or not! That’s when you’ll start attracting them like crazy! Happy self-discovery to everyone out there!
The REAL reason women don't have a relationship is because a lot are not ready deep down. Be it fear of commitment or intimacy. Being the prize is a high value thing to be but it also feels scary for some women and I'm one of them. I don't want to feel like a prize in the fear of being taken. I just want an equal. Any advice is appreciated. Yes I agree the abundance mindset helps big time!
Never chase after a man ! Never fight over a man ! Never change your core values and morals for a man ! Never lose your sense of self for a man ! Never settle for just any old man through fear of being left on the shelf… better to be left on the shelf than to be chosen by a man that does not appreciate or uplift you in any way ! All of these points also apply to men too when choosing a lady ! Being true to oneself in every aspect of ones life is of the upmost importance to me ! Cheers Brian…
So the trick is to have a scarcity mindset about yourself, (believing in your worth), while having an abundance mindset about the great guys out there...
So much work. So many rules to folllow. I am so exhausted. There are channels teaching men to be hard to get, gold back etc. So here is is great guy and female holding back and or feeling confused abput how to act. In my country, women are shamed if tjey are seen out with different men. Smh.
If you like a man and show it, he won’t want you, if you tell him to go jump out a window on the 10th floor, he’ll fall in love immediately, are D havers ok?
And this is why I’ve all but given up. I never thought I’d say that, but I just don’t want to give any more of my precious, beautiful energy to guys who couldn’t care less. I’m focusing on building my life the way I want to live it. If at some point a guy comes along who recognizes and values what I have to offer, great. If not, I’ll at least be happy and know that I’m not wasting time.
It's no abundancy of good men, just the one that we consider now a good man can prove us the contrary in the next 30 minutes and it's bye bye. It's an unbelievable shortage of good men
In married 14 years and still in that path. First just about happy in positive line for yourself then your man will follow you, he will be great man for you.
The current system is the exact opposite of the former age-old system of mating, in which women stayed home and men asked permission of the woman's father to interview with the woman in order to be accepted by her. This system was discarded during the Roaring Twenties, the first wave of Women's "Lib." LOL.
take into account that a man that sees you as a challenge will change as soon as they find out you've grown attached to him. What's the point of having a man you're not attached to?
Truth is, women do have abundance or even overabundance of male attention while they are in their childbearing years. As soon as that time is over, men their own age want a younger woman, so abundance turns to scarcity overnight at menopause. And for men it starts out tough cos when they are young they have to compete with each other and older men for the same young women but it gets easier as they age. The exact opposite experience for women. You would think that there would be a sweet spot somewhere around age 35 where it balances out but at the back of men's minds is the thought that he should have a younger woman as then the fertility will last longer. Whether they want kids or not - its about impressing other guys, not actually fathering children.
This is so hilarious...all these games and jumping through hoops..if someone doesn't accept who you are move on. These days no one knows what they want. Our population will decline unless we all get it together and stop watching the media as our definition of what relationships are suppose to be like. I'm doing me now.
I’ve actually got men in line atm , I’d like to give this gay a shot , he’s not like most men I’ve actually spoke to . They always come back so I don’t have to chase him
I am the prize. Im not afraid of losing them because I know that there is an abundance of people and men out there. I believe this. At dating I'm enjoying more, having fun, relaxed, share boundaries, give plenty of room for him to miss you to chase you. Switch to the abundance mind sent. Don't be afraid to lose him. Thank you Dear Brian. ❤
I get it you’re trying to help people but at the same time there are people that will explode this information to play mind games with people You are teaching people how to take in her field and they have to work through their own thoughts and feelings to get to a point where they stop repeating patterns with your self defeating lyrics to keep a relationship to attract one or whatever it’s just games And so long as they’re going by other people start some feelings as well as advice there not actually being authentic and eventually that façade that they’re putting up in order to achieve some thing is going to fall off like a mask and then the other person is going to wonder what happened to the person one month ago six months ago People have their insecurities and triggers for a reason it could be from this life it could be from a previous life personally I would not want to invest this much energy into becoming friends with somebody and allowing that relationship to develop naturally without trying to coerce the other person or manipulate the direction and path of the relationship itself I would do what I felt was best for myself and consider the other person but if you are giving all of yourself and you start disappearing that’s a big mistake ladies make sure you invest yourself elsewhere if the person is making it obvious that they’re not as interested as they used to be And then consider getting a replacement or telling a person you need some time and space not to manipulate them but just because now all the sudden you’re losing interest in a person who’s already made it clear they’ve lost interest in you because you can’t build on that especially if you’re trying to find a serious relationship or one day you might end up Marrying and having children or buying property together I don’t know I really get sick over the whole idea I think the reason why I’m having a reaction to it is because the person I’ve known for 32 years was following other people who were making videos similar to Deas and I don’t think that they were actually as good or considerate as you are might’ve had their phone Flaws that they were imprinting on to other people their own agendas So that men can achieve certain things with women and he got a Lotta really bad information and believed it and was applying that information to the relationship we were trying to develop at Maggie we had a very solid foundation of friendship prior to It’s like he was starting out with a stranger and didn’t know me and all of a sudden all of his bad feelings about women and his bad experiences with women crept into the relationship he became extremely competitive inconsiderate cruel neglectful it wasn’t a friendship anymore it was a really bad dating experience and all of his memories about me from the first eight years we spent together were Fabricated I mean all he could focus on was that stuff and a lot of the stuff he was telling me about his memory wasn’t even based in reality I mean he was accusing me of things that never happened for example I was on my way to see him in a snow and ice storm and I ended up getting in to a situation where I needed his help He claims that I forced him to rent a hotel room at 11:30 PM with two small children who were the ages of two and three that had a indoor swimming pool I promise you at 11:30 at night after being stuck in freezing weather with achieving a three-year-old who are probably screaming and crying waiting for hours for someone to come and save me The last thing I would’ve cared about is an indoor pool. I don’t even care for pools now and the person I was back then didn’t either. I told him you must have a mixed up with somebody else because it absolutely was not me but he swore it was me and then I made his life so uncomfortable so miserable because I was so demanding I haven’t seen this man in 25 years let alone talk to him the first eight years we lived together for very year when he got displaced and I allowed him to come stay with me and mini years later I ended up going through a divorce was trying to get my act together so that I could move back home which was several states away that required me having a safe place to go while I worked and saved all of my money For most of it wasn’t required to survive on so because my children slept in the evenings until the morning and he did too because he had a morning job that he had to go to we discussed it and he decided he would be OK with just being there you know in the event the children needed him for something in the middle of the night So I worked third shift At some point I really started to look at him like he was schizophrenic. Had borderline personality disorder with suffering with a high-level narcissistic traits are actually had MPD definitely bipolar I mean this man’s 54 and he’s throwing full-blown tantrums over hairline triggers Where he would trigger himself So when you’re talking about healthy men or serious about having relationships where they have fears we all do And if you’re afraid to feel then you’re probably not prime real estate I understand there’s a lot of stigma and stuff that comes from childhood that can cause people to be like a deer caught in the headlight when something triggers that memory but people need to do the work and I personally do not want to play any of these games because it’s suggesting that I’d be somebody that I am not in order to achieve a certain result I can only maintain that for certain amount of time before I go right into being who I really am The relationship at that point is going to fragment I’m sure on some level this is helpful to people but I wanted you to take that into consideration and also I figure that whatever input I put here that is red by others they might actually taking in consideration that they need to be careful what they apply to their efforts of obtaining a suitable partner
If anyone has any tips on how to deal when you already did the deed, several times and now he's only interested in that, (of course, get out of there, this person isn't someone I want to invest my time and energy in, clearly,. but as I'm living there, that's not as easy.) I don't think the dynamic can be altered now, but I'd like to anyway because I don't like the situation or the power balance it has created. Any tips would be welcome.
Dynamics can always be changed. Make up your mind, about what you want. Why can't you just move out, so that you take sex out of the equation? It's the only way unless you feel he is dangerous. Tell him you need some time apart to decide what you want to do with your life...he might be feeling the same way and he might just give it to you.
@@thelookout5802 Thanks. I was able to move out yesterday. We weren't in a relationship. I think he liked me and then changed his mind. But meanwhile, as I just moved to a new country and he is a friend of friends, I was staying with him while I found somewhere to rent. But I liked him at first and on the second night he came on to me. I told him I wasn't looking for anything serious as I just got here and all, and don't know how long I'll be here. I thought we could have a friends/benefits situation since the friends part had already begun, but nope, there was nothing of friendship. He had friends coming round all the time and when not, he spent it on his own unless he wanted a session with me. I said no a few times but he was very insistent, and by then I felt crap, of course. I'm out of there now, so forgiving myself and moving forward.
@@heatherwoodley8244 -I’m here late but the advice still applies. When you get into a relationship with a man, make sure you keep doing things with your friends, pursue your schooling or career and most importantly no matter how invested you are in the relationship, have a hobby outside of him. My husband and I have 3 daughters and a son. We emphasized this with our daughters (our son does it naturally because he’s a man) have a hobby that is your own. I really hope his helps. ☮️
I have not been in a good relationship in a long time. My desire to have one and be loved and give love makes me do stupid things...ugh. I will never learn😔
Can you make some videos on long term relationship advice please? Say relationships longer than 1 year Love watching your videos, hearing your insights and the humour aspect you bring Brian! 😄
KT if you are young, say in your 20s, they shouldn’t last longer than a year. That would be awful. The more frogs you kiss, the easier it’ll be for you to recognize a prince of a man.
That is the point of this video. It is teaching us to have self respect by having a abundance mind set and realize you have choices and other options instead of letting one confused loser who rejects you ruin your self esteem for life. It’s not about faking it’s about learning to respect yourself. This is the problem. Too many people thinking putting the work in to have self respect and self discipline is too much work, therefore take the easy route by calling it a “game”. Yes it’s hard work to retrain your brain to respect yourself in a world with so many disrespecting men and people. But you have to, for yourself not for anyone else. It’s not a game it’s a lesson so love yourself more.
Everytime i feel stressed coz of guys .. watching ur video is such a relief. Then i decide i will play a bit hard..let him make efforts n then again back to myself😭. M tired of this thing..i should better love my company.
LMAO, I also find it funny how my RU-vid channel has all kinds of backlash now, with my new idea of "hallucinations," and "delusional" slander of who I am. I can play my card well.
Excellent question, if you knew others were interested, what would be the choice? Right now I am at I am interested in my own company, and I got the greatest reminder today. Your video has good timing.
I shud I was in a relationship once wen we both a dominos having huge feelings for each other but afraid to give in first. I think we were both watching love couchings n stuffs. N at the we lost each other with alot of affection.
o wow i remember when you had 10k followers.. i'm so happy to run across your videos again and notice the huge subscriber count. keep up the great work!
Hi sir can I ask you something a guy is having lust feelings with gud friendship in me and he frankly said to me and that's attracted me and he talked to me soo genuinely but romantic too and now I'm not feeling well that I talk to myself dont lose yourself otherwise ur going to love him but he doesn't love me and no interest in me other than lust what can I do please help me sir I really want to know what i have to do to make myself strong and get away from him
