This New Watchtower Magazine Gives Dating Advice! 

Hold my red wine and crackers

It's beyond archaic and goes against all human nature. People should not be forced to find love only based on religious beliefs.

You mean “hold my Macallan’s”, yes? 😂.

Hold my crack pipe is more like it 😂

Ain't there JW dating sites? Watchtower Tinder or whatever

Damn, that's so heartless and brutal

How old was your sister when she gave birth? That's horrible. Do you know what happened to them?

this is WT's motto.

U dont lie

@24.40, You had me LMFAO at the highway...job. 😈😂😂👏

Exactly!

Ikr? What the heck?

It might have been my favourite one of his, although the Steven Lett impersonation made me cackle

exactly the same, I have been depressed for years, and cried blood since I was 16 my dream is to have 2 children one in each arm and a little wife and a dog, saying that for me today is like asking for the moon and the sun on a plate, romantic relationships in our society are already extremely complicated but to find someone at TJ, you have to be a "superman", doubled as an apostle and extremely basic quality like beauty, speech, being well internally mentally and physically (difficult when you know that 90% are depressed people including me or in great difficulty), money etc. I have never succeeded personally and people around me with quality much more pronounced than me like the one said above only came across succubi including his first wife who was TJ and who cheated in their bed with the 6 month / 1 year old baby right next door while he was at work . We are made to believe that in this religion the people are of deep purity but absolutely not it is like everywhere else. sry for my english i am not American

​@@sulfur5041 Deep purity ?? Marianas trench deep in bullshit !!

@@sulfur5041 Man you ain't need none of that superficial stuff, all you need to do is expand your friend group. Just be friendly and treat everyone the same, this way you know if you find someone they aren't after you just to use you. Plus most people IRL don't think like that.

@@sulfur5041you deserve a wifey 2 babys and a dog! I always wanted a boyfriend a car and a cat! For me it was like I was asking to have the moon too! Because I am not allowed to have a boyfriend, only a „husband“. I dont whant that! I was broke inside! This is my life istnt it? Its so ridiculous the organisation makes normal thinks like you asking for too much! „Just pray“ they said. „Do pioneering“ they said,… like this would prepare me for marriage? Ähhm no!? It doesnt! Im learning to cook and clean and get with my boyfriend NOW IN THE RELATIONSHIP! All the time I was thinking I should do something more important elsewhere… but not, I am getting used to it a little to live my life and not to think I should do something for jehovah or what is he thinking about me… always the bad gut feeling, „I should do something more important“ 😢

💯

Some JWs are so indoctrinated and fearful that they can’t even think for themselves anymore.

So true. Anything that locks you into the cult and keeps you donating is ok with God

As a baptized 13 year old you are also old enough to be in a car alone with an elder or ministerial "servant" on your way to "preaching" sessions or meetings, and you are old enough for them to sexually harass you or worse. Children have been sexually abused, or attempted abused by those creeps in those settings, and then the Watchtower Witnesses have advised the children and their parents against taking "worldly judicial action" against those perpetrators they call "brothers" because that will reflect badly on the organisation! It was insane hearing about the Watchtower Witnesses criticize two unbaptized adults because they are worried about what people may think when they arrive at the Kingdom Hall in a car together, despite that those people were actually living together. What hypocrisy!!

Nobody does HIPOCRACY like the Watchtower

RIGHT?! This always confused me too!! Especially since I've actually heard getting baptised being described as a marriage to Jehovah in talks🤣

I believe you, I knew this sister that went to visit his congregation (with family) to see what others thought of him and make sure he would be spiritually healthy and will be a good spiritual head. They got married. Years later she confessed never fell in love but admiration - they broke up and she was disfellowshipped. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I believe you. On elder said at a meeting if one’s is not participating in Kingdom Hall cleaning after meeting, they are not wife or husband material

EXactly!!! Me too!

Agreed 👍

Had to keep both 👀 on the person your stalking (discreetly of course) 😅.

Maybe two are watching the same person

This song perfectly describes the JW dating doctrine! As a witness, whether you're 20 or 80, you're never left alone with a JW of the opposite sex!

Thank you, Sir🤗☯️

@River Danube But only with the blessing of those GODS in New York State. Those GODS who are annoibted by Jehovah but are NEITHER INSPIRED NOR INFALLIBLE. "C U L T" is being shouted / preached from the roof tops.

It's the only new pool of witnesses. No one wants to convert to this.

What are your thoughts about JW so far? 😅 I want to know what outsiders think. An outsider the knows the ins and out.

You didn’t have to come after me like that 😂

@@megan148 🤣🤣🤣

More like " HELP"!!!!!! 😆 🤣 😂

Hell yea! Fletch 1 & 2 are so awesome!!

At least you didn't have to worry about getting accused of assaulting her. They'd just ignore it anyway.

good, did the same

Way too many people got married way too young in that cult. But of course, when you tell single teenage guys who take you seriously that it's a sin to jack off, what do you expect? That's like telling them it's a sin to take a shit.

Don't forget the pokemon panic

😂

I once worked with an ex-JW who told me her circuit overseer husband had a harem of pliable, gullible sisters he visited whenever he came to visit the congregations in that circuit. She divorced him and left, went to college and got an education. I believe this same moron was spoken about in a Watchtower article many years ago that acknowledged some witness men were immoral reprobates.

I can’t even imagine dating a JW. A former JW, yes, because they’ve been through the same hell and must know about life by now!

...i'll be watching you...

🤣🤣🤣

​@@astridmiller7938hell yeah! That song is known to be an example of paranoia! Which is exactly how witnesses feel! No privacy! Seesh!

😂

😂😅😅😊

😂😂😂😂

That insulted my intelligence too. What, a guy needs a Laundress and someone to iron his clothes? That’s why he stalks a “sister”?! Made me mad!😮

They still do that!

Ewww im super glad that i choose to not be with someone with someone from this cult when im older and to start dating when im at least 22,i wanna enjoy my free single time(im 18 rn btw)

He mentions in the video that he shaved to do the comedy of the stalker, I mean observer.

@@migdaliafuentes1618 Aw yeah I know. Its just a playful joke.

Good for u,i dont know u,but hope that u have an good life my friend

@@ImMakurAHH you too

@@lexsmith7091 thx

OMG! When they said observe the person discreetly, I thought, oh, ok, so stalk them. So creepy!

For sure! When I was a JW teen I would cringe every time a brother would give a talk about how bad fleshly desires were. 😖

Very true. Could be worse tho, imagine this in a public talk- Lev 18:19-23. "Mummy, what does s***n mean? And what's with the animal?"

That’s true! There’s no age-appropriate meetings or talks. It’s all together now!

I was thinking about this recently, how the org is so obsessed with sex and they sexualize everything and we grow up with that shame and weird relationship with sex. It’s just one trauma that the org inflicts on those born in.

@@dreamingwideawake5019 same as Catholics too.

Yes! I noticed that too. Love that music!

I had one of those in my congregation!!! 😒😖🤢 Just so much ish! I had just got reinstated and he came up behind me, put his face on my shoulder turned his face into my ear and said, “You smell so good”!!! 🤢🤮🤮 And walked away turning and looking at my Muther fuggin shocked face😮! I reported him and they did nothing saying he’s just not all up there 🧠!!! Right there and then I quit in my head!

Remember, you are putting the golf balls/rocks in first and filling in the marbles/pebbles around it now so you can enjoy all the pebbles/marbles when you have eternity in the future *queue a description of perfect bodies and playing with velociraptors*

He should of focused on saying anyone who gets married is weak to the flesh and should we really follow somebody who the apostle Paul said are weak

So much cringINESS. What's cringey is when people like you say "cringe" instead of "cringey" or "cringiness".