The thing about incels (which is certainly what this subreddit is about) is that all the time they don't spend denigrating women is spent denigrating themselves and each other. It's truly just a whirlpool of hate and loathing and misery.
i agree. they should also have that "verification" thing that some other subs where you post your face or body require. like you need to write the date, sub name, and your username on a piece of paper and then take a selfie with it. the ones i've been on require you to crumple up the paper so that there are natural-looking shadows too so it's harder for someone to fake the picture with editing software. because i'm sure a lot of these people are dudes taking photos of girls they know and posting them without their consent.
imagine asking these people what their hobbies are. "I think about strangers' faces in detail for many hours a day to objectively rate them on an attractiveness scale" like hello? this is how you spend the precious few years you have on this earth???
@@aud7593Yeah like how is this how people want to spend their time? Without even taking into account the disgusting nature of the subreddit and “hobby” to begin with, do these people enjoy just constantly being negative?
Man, those guidelines hit one of my biggest rating system pet peeves right off the bat: WHAT IS THE POINT OF A TEN-POINT SCALE IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO USE ALL TEN POINTS?!
@@marcusmaire8197almost like "perfect" is unachievable, and people should not consider 10/10 to be perfect, especially if it is in school/education and has lasting effects
Genuinely baffling how "scoring" women {and people in general, regardless of gender} is still a thing. It's really gross but not that surprising for redditors
I think its not a problem if you just understand its a subjective thing. Like when I hear a guy say "my gf is a ten out of ten" I don't think thats objectivefying. It can just be mean if a jerk goes up to someone and calls them a 2.
and the guide is so sexist too, saying that a woman is less attractive if she has ‘masculine features’, or that a man is less attractive if he has ‘feminine features’, like androgyny is forbidden to them
It also like, invalidates the entire reason for the sub to exist. If there were objective and correct ways to “rate” someone in this way they would only need one person or a bot to assign the rating
As a 15 year old guy It’s cool to see more people pointing out how detrimental the red pill shit has been for my generation it sucks that so many of my old friends have turned towards these podcasts and forums. hopefully more videos like this can bring guys to some sense it’s really frustrating watching them blame other people for shit they don’t want to work on especially girls our age going through the same issues
its always funny how older generations talk about how easy kids have it these days. I'm 37 and I feel terrible for your generation. The internet was in its infancy when I was a kid and we had AOL dialup lol. There was no such thing as social media until I was out of high school, I signed up for this new thing called myspace at 19. We thought bullying was bad back then, now people can coordinate to bully people 24x7 and bully you in your own home and ya'll are constantly being exposed to some terrible shit ideas before your minds are ready for it. Good on you for staying out of that shit. keep it up.
Same dude! I'm also 15, and majority of my friends (we've been friends since kinder) are changing into toxic "alphas/sigmas☠️" and just straight up dicks who blame women for everything. Heck, I caught my younger brother watching Andrew tate once. It's horrible how many young boys are turning into misogynists
well actually her facial symmetry is subpar and her bulbous nose has a potentiophantric septum and a overly arched upper blepharol area conjuction, therefore she cant be higher than 4.5 -that subreddit probably
@@tabithacakes3624your face is like, a 4.5, but your appearance overall would probably put you higher. Have you tried posting on r/ratemynakedbody yet? Keep me posted."
Every time someone tries to come up with a standard of “objective beauty,” I’m reminded of how I was often made fun of for having large lips as a child. Nowadays, I receive compliments about how full they are and asked if I got lip fillers / botox. Beauty is completely subjective and changes constantly. Any “standard” will always put down another group.
In my experience, one auntie called me "fat," and the very next day, another called me "too skinny." I never really trust the notion of objective beauty since 😅
I went from the ugly person in my family to the hot one, basically for my lips, nose and skin tone I didn’t change at all, but my sisters friends used to make fun of me, now those same people hate my GF, and keep asking if im single. but im still not considered “hot” just attractive for where I live. Probably also helps im tall
Trying to convince young men that they've fallen into manipulative traps is so difficult because the trap convinces them that escape is the real trap. I wish them all the best in their journeys
@@sexytechreviews_ Regardless if theyre posting or not, young people can be exposed to these harmful ways of thinking and be trapped without even posting. Social media influences people even if theyre not posting to it.
As a teenage boy who has watched you for years, I can safely say that you have helped me understand that you shouldn’t try to play games with people and to think a little deeper. I definitely see what you’re talking about with those pipelines, and I can see it in my classmates. Thank you for being such a good influence.
I remember guys in my middle school pulling this rating crap, we had the best vice principal in the world and he shut it down so fast. Luckily most of us girls had already recognized how gross it was and banded together, particularly around those who’d been given lower ratings. But Mr. Chamberlain literally pulled our whole grade out of class, and explained why it was such a fucked up thing to do, and that if it continued, there’d be massive consequences. That was close to 15 years ago now, and he died in 2020 from Covid. He is dearly missed and will always be one of the brightest lights during the hard times I had as a young teen. We need more men like him in this world. Thank you for being one of them Jarvis
This is why I feel like a good educaters are so important and can seriously impact a child's adult life. Like imagine if he had let it continue, all those girls with low ratings would have been so insecure. And all those boys who are rating would have the mindset that their opinions on women's bodies and look matter.
Omg this comment reminded me that this happened at my middle school too, a little over 10 years ago. Wow, I had NO recollection of that. I don’t even remember what platform we used to spread that kind of shit, but I know it was out there. I think we all just kind of ignored it because it was juvenile and clearly created with malicious intent, but I also was never even close to the center of these things, so maybe it got worse than I ever saw it. Our administration wasn’t nearly that active, unfortunately, but I love a good story of faculty actually being good people and caring about their students’ wellbeing. 💛
Cis-straight guy here, it’s very tough to watch my peers fall down this awful misogynist pipeline but I do hope you don’t think it’s your job to fix all of them! For what it’s worth I think you’ve been a phenomenal role model for young men in your videos
I'm a cis male who used to be very straight and I could relate, but now I'm more pansexual and like everybody. But I'm a younger male (21) so I was surprised that there wasn't many males according to Jarvis. And it sucks how toxic most men seem to be, or more accurately, the loud majority and that there's great guys out there. Sigh...
This feels a little too close to eugenics for any sort of comfort to be found in how bafflingly stupid the concept is. “Ah yes having a shape of eye is objectively better” is definitely a bit too close too “ah yes the size of your skull is objectively better”
While I do think that there may be a scientific and meaningful difference between people with different features this is obviously just one person's subjective type. Also, in general, is eugenics necessarily bad? Wouldn't we want to improve now that natural selection and consequent improvement has been close to eliminated?
Exactly, geez. As a mixed-race person, this kind of sh*t bothers me so much. I don't know why some folks can't see other groups of people as equally human.
@@meifennellysieu7510seriously the “small almond eyes” really sealed the deal that these people are literally looking for 1 or 2 races. I haven’t watched the whole video but I wouldn’t be surprised if at like a 2 it said “large hooked nose” or some racist shit like that
Fun fact: this subreddit's content was suggested to me several times, and I suspect it was because I was in some Body Dysmorphic Disorder support groups. Gross!
If that really is the case that is awful and might even be intentional. I really hope this isn’t targeting people who would be really affected by this subreddit mentally.
Me too!! I spiraled so hard when I found it, got addicted to scrolling through it for a few days. I literally had to delete reddit and get off the internet for a couple weeks to recover my progress
I only use Reddit to look up things related to my hobbies (outdoorsy stuff, photography, programming) and I still get this kind of shit in my feed. Reddit is really toxic and no one should visit that wasteland.
As someone who has struggled with facial dysmorphia for most of my life, I can't IMAGINE what hell I'd experience if I'd ever put (or found) my own face on here. It's so harmful to conform or even listen to "standards" set by society in terms of beauty. Anyone and everyone is beautiful in their own way, never mind how they physically look. Even in terms of things that we find unnatural (old men posing shirtless, old women in bikinis), the fact that there is any sort of pushback to how anyone looks is, quite frankly, horrific. Although I'm a firm believer in never judging appearances, I always forget that notion when I look in the mirror.
We are always hardest on ourselves, judging ourselves or comparing to others, but these habits only lead to unhealthy thoughts imo. Best to accept ourselves, make some effort to appear the way we want to, but if we dwell on how we are perceived, we will always be unhappy. Partially because ultimately we can't change how others perceive us (so worrying about that is like getting upset at the sun for going behind a cloud), and partially because our guess about how we are being perceived is probably wrong (so worrying about that is like being upset because we think Christmas is cancelled when it's not).
I've had that a lot before. A few things that helped me a lot: Thinking about my face, but on one of my friends, and thinking about how I would perceive my own looks in that context. "You're not unattractive. You're just not your type."
Exactly! And I thankfully haven't seen a lot of it here, but in situations like these, I often see a lot of people blaming the people who use platforms like these because "if you can't handle criticism, you shouldn't use it!", as if it's impossible for someone at a point in their life where they're questioning their looks to seek validation from a place that, on paper, promises fair ratings on how you look Then in reality, most people are going to get barely above mediocre at best because the mods warn people for posting anything over that, it's just...well, is predatory the right word here?
Unfortunately, in society good looking people really do have a massive advantage. It's simply the way that it is. We just have to accept this reality and move on with our lives, since dwelling on this fact won't change anything.
It’s anti intellectual brain rot. The idea that you can somehow be intellectually unbiased is a plague that’s spread all over the internet. We’re bias emotional creatures. And attractiveness is such a bias subject that pretending that it’s otherwise is stupid.
And one of the images they use with examples has literal supermodels, heralded as some of the most beautiful people in their countries, as 6/7/8s, it's total nonsense. I don't know what kind of weirdos run the subreddit and made up their metric but they're disgusting people for sure.
Gotta get that confirmation fuel from somewhere, I guess. Lots of unfortunate souls will go to any self-destructive lengths to feel like they belong somewhere. Like the world they've absorbed through mainstream advert consumption is the objective reality.
Because this is how disgusting men have tried to control us for centuries. This is also why women typically (but not always) value a compliment from another woman more than a man.
I'm 42. And I am super grateful that the Incel/Red Pill community wasn't a thing when I was a teenager. Like Jarvis, I went through an "i'm a good guy, why don't girls like me" thing when I was young. Eventually I figured out that the problem was actually internal and went on to have a perfectly normal dating life. But if the Red Pill pipeline existed in the 90s... who knows where I'd be? There's such a simple path out of this life of desperate, lonely bitterness for these guys. But they just can't (or won't) see it.
@@sexytechreviews_ obviously toxic men isnt a new thing, but I hardly think its a crazy take to say that its so much easier these days to become isolated and stuck in echo chambers of toxic thought like this.
@@sexytechreviews_nowadays it is so much easier for people like this to find communities that validate and radicalize their beliefs. these internet safe havens just didn't exist and/or weren't so accessible.
My brother and I were talking about beauty standards and stuff and we both agreed we couldnt think of a single person we thought was "ugly." There were people we didnt personally find attractive, but nobody that was unattractive.
I feel like it's a tell of a mean person when someone "rates" other people ugly or in general are interested in picking apart other people's face and body. Like when they meet new people, their first instinct is to pick apart what is "wrong" with them and how other people are "below" them. That's not how nice, happy people operate!
My take is its just nobody’s business what my preferences are. I have broken up for shallow reasons but they didn’t need to know that. The only person that that should make feel bad is me
Truly. Because I see it with my nephews. They're angry sometimes. They're only old enough to mimic and repeat things their grandpas, uncles and dads say. Feelings over not getting their way, not being heard, not getting that grade/award/job/team spot, not feeling that they can be hurt and have to brush it off (physical and emotional), having other males hurt them as just part of being guys, and so much more. I just don't know how so many in a flash flood fell all the blame on women. Even when I know for some guys, the only friend or family member that pauses and goes "are you alright, wanna talk, how do you emotionally feel" might be a woman... but at some point sex or you're matronly and only comfort me, became the only modes of acceptable women. I've been in groups playing games and my main friend just gets constant mockery by all the guys, and I try to shut it down as unfunny, and when it turns on me, they just sit quiet, but then ask me not to quit because they like me there. Dude, no, I don't like being there, you're not worth harassment, and when you get harassed I stand up for you, so stand up for yourself, even though you don't back up for me.
Amen. I wrote a bit of a rambling post but you summed it up in two sentences. Damaging for young girls and women due to the fact that it is basically forcing incel "ideology" upon them even though it is dudes posting the images, and damaging for young boys and men because they can easily fall into the Tateoid, manosphere, misogynistic rabbit hole and it has gotten to the point at which governments are considering whether to add "incel ideology" or "Incelism" I guess into categories of extremism and terrorism, given the fact that they have committed many awful atrocities already. I hope that this sh*t just gets shut down, ignored, demonetised and that content such as Jarvis' and other similar channels get through to young, confused and insecure kids of any gender.
that's the whole idea, they do find these women attractive and they're trying to knock down their self esteem so their standards will be lower and they'll be willing to date "mediocre/ugly" men, which is what these men consider themselves
@@deathsheadhawkmoths I feel like this is true. My boyfriend says that I was constantly called ugly at school cause guys were just trying to put me down so it would be easier to hook up with me.... It melted my brain
these "objective" rating standards are so eurocentric and feel very discriminatory against/cruel towards women of color. the whole thing is designed around praising more typically white features. having masculine features as a woman doesn't make you ugly in any way (not that i would be comfortable calling a human woman ugly in the first place) beauty is the most subjective thing in the world and beauty trends change constantly.
The eurocentric standards were the first thing I noticed when I saw the sub (i discovered it today before i saw this video what a coincidence). For women, all tje higher numbers were white and east asian women. Like, if that doesn't scream that this was made by ahem a *certain* kind of man idk what will
@@hyobroschae the saddest part is that dudes who fall into these circles convince themselves that those standards are what they need to be attracted to because... idk... they want the best trophy out of all their misogynist friends? Can't tell you how many boys I overheard when I was still in school saying they would only date asians or women under 25 for the rest of their lives. It's incredibly like ambiently damaging for young girls to be hearing that every day in highschool. To feel like you're already ugly because of your skin color, or that you only have
@@hyobroschae not true at all. the best looking european and asian women get the lowest scores. the people who are 5 based on their own chart get scored higher. guess you dont get that the wholepoint of the sub is to rate very attractive women lowly in order to gaslight them.
@@sexytechreviews_ they rate everyone low because of that. But the "rules" they explained as the scale they use are the eurocentric beauty standards we all know. Aka things that uphold white supremacy
Jarvis talking about how he used to deal with so much insecurity and he wants to reach an audience of guys that are following that path so that they don’t inflict more harm on others - especially women - made me cry. Thank you Jarvis.
The fact that people are posting their friends' pictures (almost certainly without permission) to get them dragged on some phrenology subreddit is disgusting.
The sexism, racism, and fatphobia in this subreddit is absolutely sickening. Thank you for trying to educate young men to nip toxic behavior in the bud.
OK but let's be fair here: attractiveness = society wants to look at you. Society generally doesn't want to look at fat people. Call it fatphobia all you like but obesity will still be a health condition and not a feature
@@nathanh775attractiveness ≠ society. Attractiveness is a subjective thing that varies with each person. Society has beauty standards, sure. But that is not the same. There are many fat men and women that people find attractive
Yes, please let's do that. Let's make it as hard for them as possible and just downvote everyone who rates "according to their rules" and rate everyone 10.
Ignoring the fact that it's totally wrong to rate ones appearance like that: they only rate people from like 4 - 6,5. The most beautiful people get a 6.5 and anyone who rates above 7 gets a warning for overrating.
Doesn't that completely changes the rating system then ? Cuz now everyone's aware that the highest note is 6.5, so a 6.5 is actually a 10 and other users must realize that at this point.
Did you even spend 5 seconds looking at the rules? If you did you'd notice it's set up to "loosely mirror a bell curve" such that 0=most ugly physically possible and 10=most attractive physically possible
@@nathanh775but if no one can get a 10 (they say that) and if the most beautiful women who submit only get a 6.5 and the users get a warning for over 6.5 then the REAL highest is 6.5 It's like the Truman show where technically they are going on vacation but he never is allowed to leave and go on vacation.
@@nathanh77510 has no examples because they literally say almost no women like that exist. It is essentially a maximum of 9, I don’t appreciate you being condescending and acting like people don’t understand what normal curves are because they point out the flaws in a disgusting rating system.
@@nathanh775 yeah but 10 doesn't even have any examples because they think it's physically impossible to be a 10. and in an ACTUAL bell curve situation, you would still get people being rated 9 and 9.5. the whole point is that while MOST people fall within 1 standard deviation of the mean, those higher and lower ends still exist. so like height is roughly on a bell curve and MOST people are close to the average height (within 1 standard deviation - this is 68% of people) but that leaves 32% of people being outside of that range. i'm a woman and i'm 5'2" - this is more than 1 standard deviation less than the mean height for women (5'5"). hell, there are literally women who are like 6 feet tall. or women who are under 5 feet tall. they still EXIST. back to the reddit though, the way the rules are implemented literally ban people from giving someone too high a rating. that's genuinely insane if you're trying to argue scores are normally distributed (i.e. a bell curve). you should expect to see the entire range of scores on that subreddit.
Honestly, ive had my images submitted to this subreddit by an ex partner without my knowledge. Jarvis is 100% right. DO NOT support this subreddit. And if you have image issues, such as myself, do NOT DO IT AT ALL. You may think that people around you flatter you but it is NOT worth it.
Yeah... also don't do it for negative belief reinforcement, I absolutely imagine some people are searching for that while feeling down on themselves...
The over rating thing is so gross. It’s like if you don’t have the same opinion as the the mods then you’re wrong. Because of course in their minds opinions can be false 🤦♀️ I can’t imagine interacting IRL with anyone that engages in this awful, super judgmental behavior.
and like people have pointed out, it's not even a real opinion/rating that the mods share. it all feels so fake circle-jerk-y about degrading women just for the sake of degrading them
thats because you can't interact with them IRL. They never leave their couch, just typing away at reddit so you'll never encounter one anywhere but online
@@crazyowlgirlcncownerno because I went on the Reddit and some super ugly men were getting rated higher than some of the gorgeous women they were rating 2s and 3s… like how
I'm straight young male with insecurities and depression and I like your videos Jarvis 🖤. I hold your opinions in high regard and I think you're very smart and insightful and you've helped me. I definitely internalize your moral messages and have been listening to you for almost 6 years
Take pride in yourself for this It takes strength to find a good role model while fighting self-doubt, so I heavily encourage patting yourself on the back
Well, you've already put yourself in a good stead. So, you're going to be fine. A fine gent, I'd say. Sending you all the hugs. He's a good roll model and probably the best there is as he's using his standing the right way and giving the RIGHT influence. Gotta love Jarvis! ❤🥰👌
yeah, my thoughts exactly, as soon as he started reading those overly technical pretentious fucking descriptions my mind immediately went "this is incel talk"
saw a twitter thread a couple weeks ago with leaked dms from some of the mods. the sub is explicitly made for incels to put down women. there is no question there
@@deadlyqueenhasaweakness9118 How am I supposed to troubleshoot my very niche technical problems without reddit😭. Only reason reddit works better is sheer size of users.
Bruh. I got fixated on that subreddit years ago... I have been described as ugly several times. I'm fine with it. I'm an asexual female. There's no purpose behind being beautiful and I don't make enough money to put in any effort as far as nice clothes or makeup (much of which I'm allergic to). I always wanted to post a selfie on there and see what people really thought, but when I would read others' posts for people that I thought looked genuinely pretty, people were still so cruel. I chickened out and never uploaded any selfie. You making a video on this creates an external lens that reminds me 1. this place still exists online yikes and 2. it's actually a horrible concept full of deliberately toxic people. I doubt I would have ever received an honest or objective answer, and I'm confident I would be made to feel like shit for some rancid man's ego. I'm glad I never got the guts to put myself out there.
I posted once on one of these types of subs and I think I got a like a 7 maybe but oh my god the dms I got we’re terrible. Really they’ll roast you if you’re “ugly” and they’ll harass you if you’re “pretty”
Dude I have never felt so seen. I’m an ace female who’s been fixated on beauty and how I can become “less ugly” in a way lately…. It’s like I don’t want to be beautiful for other people but for me so I can be happy with myself? But I’ve learned that’s a toxic road to go down. I really feel that. Bruh you dodged a bullet not posting on there tho. That subreddit was made just for belitting women whether or not they were even attractive it’s just cruel
Yeah. For me, it's like the urge to watch a disturbing movie---I know what'll happen, I know I'll hate it, I know that I won't get anything from it (save needless psychological distress), but there's still some godforsaken part of me that wants to dive headfirst into the sludge and see what all the fuss is about.
honestly i feel like a majority of attractiveness is more fluid than people realize, it's not some aspect that is hard coded into your facial features or anything. like a good camera angle, nice lighting, decent clothing, and a good haircut can make anyone look more attractive.
@@crazyowlgirlcncowner exactly. my brother is attracted to women who are immature like him and funny, i'm attracted to according what he calls it now, "pathetic men" and confident funny women. looks never crossed our mind.
I also think personality plays a role in attractiveness too, like I never found Tom Holland that attractive until I watched spider man and all the interviews where he showed his personality and now I think he is hella attractive
Thanks Jarvis as a male who is very insecure and has almost fallen down the red pill / black pill rabbit holes, your content does a good job at keeping me level headed and thinking critically instead of with my emotions. Your advice on confidence is very reassuring. Love ya
if someone told me they wanted their child to grow up to be like me i would probably cry half for the compliment, the other half would be because that would be an awful child
Jarvis, I'm really proud of you for attempting to be a good influence for young men. You very much are a great example of a compassionate and uplifting person!
Rating other people in itself is disgusting but getting mad at other people for rating someone higher than you think they deserve is absolutely unhinged behavior. All of my friends and I are 11/10s and he'd be literally blinded by our incredibleness
The personal note where you mention the fact that you had good influences to not lead you down that incel/mysoginist path really hit home for me. I thought very similarly to you when I was younger and you’re completely right! I was only hurting myself and putting myself down, and the thought of taking those feelings out on women and girls my age at the time just did not feel right to me
as a trans woman i feel like i was NEVER judged this much for my appearance when i was socially perceived as a guy. people just don’t really focus on it that much when it comes to men in my experience. since i came out it feels like in both directions people focus more on my appearance than anything else about me. i used to get complimented on my intelligence and ability, but now every compliment i recieve is about my physical attractiveness. as well as most insults i receive now focus on my appearance. we hold such a double standard where dudes can put in little to no effort and be treated with respect, but we get treated differently even while looking our best.
Trans man here, can confirm I am not as judged as I was presenting as a woman and I could now be considered less "conveniently attractive" because of my acne and weight gain than I was as a woman. It's been infuriating to see it first hand even if as a feminist I was always aware of it. People just see me as a person, it's a surreal thing to describe but it's true. As a woman I feel like people saw me as an "image" more than anything, so they'd take into account so much of my appearance and how "attractive" or not before deciding how they approached and talked to me (and that includes women). Now it feels like people just assume I'm a full person and layered individual first and foremost and my appearance only factors afterwards.
I really hate the idea that anyone would call you “woman pandering” just because you have made a safe space for people of all genders. As a female-leaning non-binary person, channels like yours are some of the only places I feel safe interacting with online because you promote being respectful. Glad you’re trying to reach those people who think that though and change their minds; education is always the right step forward :)
the fact that a "white knight" is seen as some kind of insult is so stupid. Whenever someone calls me a white knight I just say thanks. Wow I will defend women when some asshole starts being a sexist piece of shit for no reason, such a character flaw.
Safe space from what? Things certain people don't want to hear? But that's a normal and healthy by-product of human communication via speech. Respect on the other hand should be a given. It clearly isn't on the internet, but that's an unsolvable issue. Humans without faces tend to act more like the animals they actually are. Not an issue per se, but it doesn't align with the norms we have created as a species. Anyway Education IS the right way forward, but it's not that simple. Spreading information on matters that really aren't factual, neutral or objective.. but clearly opinion based and deeply biased topics per se.. spreading such information and calling it "educating people" is a tad bit too arrogant. I do not know this youtuber, all i've seen is this video. Clearly those people on reddit got some issues, but it isn't at all obvious that they consciously or unconsciously intend to "put women down". That's an assumption. The men are being rated exactly the same, by weird "beauty standards" nobody really gives a fuck about. It's what people often do when they spend too much time creating categories on specific subjects and trying to establish themselves as experts or connoisseurs on the matter. It's a bit stupid but happens all the time. The "10 isn't an option, because such perfection does not exist" is a CLEAR indicator of this "connoisseur" way of looking at it. Of course the sub sucks and is a potential breeding ground for unintentional harm and even barely acceptable views on certain matters, but there's no reason to believe there's inherently evil or harmful intent at play. This youtuber simply reacted to it, then he mentioned men who learn to hate women because they allow their experiences to form them in a bad way. It's a valid issue, but it exists on both sides. We gotta be careful with who and what we drag into this hategame, because every accusation, be it reasonable or not, automatically feeds anger into more and more people on both sides of this war that shouldn't even exist. From the looks of it, (like i said i have only seen this video) this youtuber IS pandering to women, at least a tiny bit. But that's okay, influencers have their audience. Just.. remain as neutral and objective as possible.. and work on certain things. Like, if you need to look for a "safe space" in a normal environment.. you, being a being on this earth, got some weaknesses to work on and probably realities to face.
Let's not overlook how "cis white man" centric these standards of beauty are. Women and people from any other cultures have vastly different beauty standards.
And also how entirely heteronormative they are. Woman has masculine feature = bad, man has feminine feature = bad, as if this is a universal truth that everyone believes and just a fact of life rather than an opinion that's just as valid as any other.
I don’t know if I’d say men and women have different preferences, but I do know everyone has different preferences, and that different cultures have different preferences. This certainly is very centralised in places like America.
You can tell none of these people have ever looked at a supermodel from the neck up lmao. Unique faces are highly sought after in that industry, it's a whole big thing.
I remember this one photo of two models , one with the “darkest skin tone in the world” and the other with the “lightest skin tone in the world” (in quotes because that is what was claimed, I don’t know if it is factual) The images were stunning. It really opened my eyes to the art-form of human photography. A very unique and beautiful look, achieved with the consent of them models of course. I think there is a lot of beauty in the diversity of our species and your comment reminded me of that the same why these photos did years ago.
As much as i would never advocate for bullying, all these mods should be forced to have their pictures uploaded to the sub and be absolutely obliterated because by their own rankings i doubt they are even reaching Ed Sheeran.
@@ambersmith2612 I mean we’re only semi-joking here, aren’t we. Unfortunately some people only understand one language, and it’s getting their block knocked in until they realize it isn’t profitable to be a complete sh!tstain.
there is no way anyone who's a mod on a site like this has a good relationship with their own body image. incels dont just hate women, they hate themselves too. i doubt i could ever tell any incel anything half as mean as the stuff they're already thinking about themselves (not that i would want to either way)
@@Anna-pe6hb True, and they need to figure that out in a therapist's office, not by projecting it all over everyone else. But either way- they need to shut the hell up. And they'll probably only do that if they're too scared to be an asshole.
It is so obvious that the "raters" on this subreddit try to use big words and "scientific" language to sound like they are authorities on attractiveness. In reality they just sound really stupid. It is so sad that these men spend their free time rating women's attractiveness instead of actually having a life. As always it's a joy to see your perspective on things like this Jarvis. That and laugh at people being ridiculous
People willingly post on their subreddit to be judged by their rules of objectivity. There’s a chart and anyone can see the the rules they go by. And the chart was made by a common consensus that all judges can generally agree with (of course it’s subjective, but the point is to try and objectify it as much as possible, to get a “true” rating) If you disagree with the chart, don’t post. If you’re curious of your rating with this sub’s parameters, then go ahead.
"men need to understand the bar is on the floor" I work in a staff of all women, all of us have been harassed at some point in our life. We talk about this ALL THE TIME. All we ask from men is to not be a jerk, treat us equally, and wear deodorant. Trust me, if you're genuinely a good person, you won't have a hard time. We see that.
I recently got out of a very unhealthy friendship where the other party would constantly put labels on me and obsess about my appearance, to the point where I ended up experiencing body dysmorphia and having a very skewed perspective on the world. I was really nervous to watch this video because I thought it might bring me back to that time and make me feel that same way that he did, but watching the absurd way they rank people in actually helped-I was able to laugh off how ridiculous these people are and made me realize that that guy really wasn’t much better (which really helps diminish those lingering thoughts he made me feel about myself). I just want to say thank you for this video. I know that appearance really isn't the most important thing and is super subjective, but when it's pushed in your face all the time it becomes really hard not to fixate on and feel self-conscious about. This sort of video is nice to help step away from that.
@@8makes1team81 Maybe you should take a break from the screen and realize that just because someone's a celebrity and everyone worships them online, on TV and in magazines doesn't automatically mean they're beautiful. Just because the media says she's beautiful and lots of people repeat it doesn't make it true, that woman's face looks deformed, y'all been gaslit.
@@anhelaanhela4996 Are you good??? you seem to have missed the ENTIRE point of the video which is that! beauty is subjective! there’s no reason to be rude about this. that little description you used makes you seem like you’re on the same level as the insecure vultures who use that sub, and that’s not a good look dude
@@BlacksArentPeopleYour account is so funny. Funny gay juxtaposed to funny mustache man ideology!! Haha. Hahahaha. I get it. Religion and communism. Do you get it? I get it. Blacks aren’t people because get it? it’s racist which is bad but you’re so comfortable saying that. Dude, you’re like, the sins we never had the courage to commit!!! Do you get it? That’s a literature reference but they burnt books so it’s even funnier. That’s so funny. I get it dude. Because in society this wouldn’t be allowed but you don’t care. You don’t care if you offend anyone!!!! You’re so blunt! Wow! The confederate flag? Get it??? Slavery. That’s so funny but you also support LGBT so it’s even funnier you’re so funny dude. That’s so cool dude I get it. These woke folks won’t get it dude. Up top am I right? I’m right. SORRYYY COMMUNISM HAHA! WE are always right. Dictatorship. HAHA! Because only OUR opinion matters in OUR land?? We are so funny dude. YOU are so funny. Big brother is watching dude boo-woo HAHA! 9/11 tragic human deaths so edgy arab terrorist!!! You’re a comedic genius!
I genuinely want to thank Jarvis for making this video, as a teenage girl, I have some self esteem issues and my opinion of myself is constantly changing and morphing. The part of the where he is speaking to a younger male audience almost made me cry because how he approached the topic of self esteem issues was genuinely helpful to me, although I am a girl, and it gave me hope for boys my age who I know suffer with the same issues but even worse.
Speaking as someone who has been a teen girl and came out the other side, you’re going through a really turbulent time in your life and it’s super normal to be constantly changing (even though it can be frustrating). Fun fact about adulthood: most people continue to be confused or conflicted about their self-esteem well after their teenage years, but as you get older, your brain gets better at managing it. I’m 24 and I’ve gone through SO many identity crises about so many different things, but thanks to maturity (and a good therapist), it’s less scary now than it was ten years ago. I hope that brings you a little comfort. Being a teenage girl isn’t easy, so try to take care of yourself, stranger.💛
I appreciate that Jarvis was trying to share a very personal moment with us, but when he said "When I was a young boy" my brain assumed his father took him to the city, to see a marching band...
Yo Jarvis, I am a young black man who (thank god) has not fallen into the “red pill” side of the internet, my lil bro looks up to me. I’m pretty sure I could consider myself his role model. just doing my best to make sure he doesn’t end up like a redditor.
My body dysmorphia is screaming for me to get on this subreddit and get rated and body/facecheck, but like pleaseee if you relate don’t do it! As proven whatever you look like doesn’t matter to these people, and you’ll never get a high rating anyways. Also yeah we gotta remember it’s dysmorphia that makes us feel unattractive.
@@kphoria1009 I understand.. but you know both these people and your view of yourself are the ugly things, not you! I know it’s so hard to believe but it’s a fact
I have pretty bad body dysmorphia and when it was at its worst, I was almost obsessed with this subreddit. Never got the courage to post a selfie, but looking back on it I'm actually glad I was too nervous to. It wouldn't have done one good thing for me. And they're not actually objective, like very obviously this is an incel subreddit, so my mind's whispers to me about "well what if you knew your real number though?" isn't a real thing that would happen. We would be negged in the hopes that it would make us hate ourselves so much that we'd be more likely to date redpill pigs. No thanks.
So true! I totally see the allure even though it's clearly a trap. When I was dating I personally found my attractiveness was much closer linked to my extroversion and confidence levels than my actual physical appearance though.
What is the point of a scale if some numbers are literally unobtainable? Take them out. Rebalance the 1-10 to what is physically represented in reality. This is why you have people getting a 5 and feeling upset. Because they are actually a 8 on a scale that doesn't have physically unobtainable fringes.
This took me back tot he days i was a teen dying to get rated by onision (yikes) the male gaze is so introjected into us, we bag for (most likely) mysoginistic men to approve of us and we make it our objective to be seen as desirable by men who definitely dont deserve us.
this comment literally knocked me back to such a specific era in yt history; i never submitted my own pictures (thank god bc i was literally like 15 at the time) but i remember watching his rating videos and internalizing so much useless garbage about how i could make myself more "objectively" attractive to men. anyway im a lesbian now
OMG THIS IS THE GUY!! I remember watching his garbage when i was like 13 and I internalized that stuff so hard. Especially his weight standards… he’s disgusting.
@@bubblelinneajen I submitted a photo to one of his forums when I was 12 and am now so thankful that my picture didn't end up in the final video for it. Hate to admit it but that guy had a hold over how I interacted with the world for a couple of years.
I'm in the same boat 😭 I felt so comforted by that bastard, one time he said "it's cute when a girl has a slight bulge above the button on your jeans" and I felt so incredibly relieved that this attractive man said something I perceived as a flaw was okay....man that was a bad time for a lot of us girlies i think. Anyway I'm ace now and can't be fucced to be perceived in general 😂
As someone with facial dysmorphia, looking in the mirror makes me feel disgusting. So if I’m already insecure why would I post my face and ask randoms on the internet to rate me, And that subreddit is gonna make people, who are literally gorgeous, hate themselves for no reasons. Just because some random sweaty guys have them a number. That sucks.
this is honestly really heartbreaking to see. the literal inexistence of high ratings because of mods is just gross, especially based on their reasoning. thank you for making this a safe space jarvis!! very gold of you
I love how Jarvis likes to understand other people who have different life experiences then him. He seems to be really respectful and treating others kindly is a great place to start when getting to know people. This subreddit is so shallow and I’m glad that there are people out there that see there is a lot more to a person then just looks.
11:50 I totally understand that feeling of being “lucky” for turning those negative feelings inward. It sounds weird but there’s truth to that idea. I definitely did this when I was younger and it was incredibly painful and difficult to make it through but now that I look back I’m able to see my past self with empathy, understanding, and love. Whereas if while looking back at that time I saw someone who took those feelings, projected them outward, and in the process caused a lot of pain to other people it would be a different story. I’d still feel some sympathy because I would understand what I was going through to get myself to that point but I think the greater feeling would be shame, guilt, and further self loathing. I hope even people like that get the chance to heal and become better people but I think it’s just a much more beautiful and positive process to get to the point where you want to help yourself and make things right for your hurt “inner child” vs trying to make things right for the people you harmed when it honestly might be too little too late. Idk it’s a difficult topic, but my point is that you won’t look back and regret being kind to others and maybe in the process you’ll learn to be kinder to yourself
its funny how older people always say kids have it easier these days. We had it way easier. We weren't getting bullied on social media and being exposed to alpha bullshit 24x7
You know it's coming from the heart when you can't even look at the camera when opening up. Stay strong;; negative self-talk isn't just something people get over. It's a constant battle.
i like how they call "masculine features" a flaw that decreases a woman's rating but they also say that tall, slim-hipped supermodels with strong jaws and sharp features are the highest examples. it's all fucking made up and you're all beautiful
I always remember what someone said about self image and self esteem: "it's alright not to find yourself attractive, it just means you're not your type, doesn't mean you're not somebody else's". Don't know why but that resonates with me and has helped me a lot every time I look at the mirror and feel dysphoria creeping in... Just because I don't find myself appealing doesn't mean everyone will think the same, my standards are different from someone else and it doesn't make me ugly ❤
I would drive myself insane dating another me, omg! I'm 100,000% not my type XD A lot of people I get along with super well have some big commonalities we share, but they're also very very very much extremely distinctly different. Two of me would clash horrifically, and that's just on the personality side of things. I'm absolutely not my type physically either. I really appreciate that perspective! I know I don't have an ugly personality or anything. Hell, my personality is basically my favorite part of me! I just know I would accidentally annoy myself a lot because of how my autism, adhd, sensory, and chronic pain things work. So it makes a lot of sense other aspects of myself could also be simply "ehhh :/" for the same basic fact that I wouldn't be attracted to that part of myself in a potential partner. c:
As a trans guy I've started to find myself victim to toxic masculinity ideals more and more. I just wish that more cis men could be like Jarvis and understand that people are just people and no human is less than anyone else. In my case I wish that they could accept that femininity is not a bad thing and that being feminine doesn't make you less valuable or less of a man. I 100% subscribe to that ideal, however in my desire to pass as a man I've slowly stopped doing or wearing things I like just because it wouldn't help me pass. I'm at a point in my transition where simply darkening my eyebrows can make strangers switch from "sir" to "ma'am", so it's been hard not to fall into the trap of toxic masculinity.
@@dragonicbladex7574 unfortunately the attitudes of people online are quite different from irl. yes on tumblr i can get acknowledged as a feminine transmasc, but the moment i actually step outside i'm constantly misgendered. random people at the grocery store are generally not at the level of understanding that a trans man can wear makeup or a dress and that doesn't make him a woman.
@@dia8183 to be fair on Tumblr you have like a bio and pfp and everything (I think, not used Tumblr, don't quote me on that) meanwhile irl people can only judge on appearance, I guess, that and well old people bein old people
This reminds me of the time I found out some random person had taken pictures of me and posted them in one of these subreddits. I still can’t imagine what would have motivated them to do that.
I follow a few beauty/makeup subreddits and this one popped up on my feed. I checked it out because I was confused at what it was. I was grossed and confused at the ratings. I saw a ton of 18 year olds asking about their ratings as well and was thinking that this was not a healthy sub for them to be on
People have become so hyper obsessed with facial structure and layout lately. I can't help but notice it's correlated with sharply increasing levels of transphobia and people's attempts to "clock" trans people using these insane facial feature measurements. People are getting way too comfortable judging other people based on appearance.
Yeah like those conspiracy theories that say all celebrities (especially female ones) are trans and part of the illuminati just cuz of how they look. It's just another way to justify their transphobic Bs!
Yeah, it's so fucked up and harmful, shit like that is the reason I think about getting ffs alot, not because I need it for myself, but society seems to need it to accept me.
@@mrnobodyatallnoneed same as an enbie that just doesn't want their gender assumed and be put in a stupid box, I'm sorry bro. I hope this society changes soon.
that’s probably because the concept of facial and bone structure having “scientifically” accurate beauty standards based on evolution was used back when eugenics were really really in. lotta pseudoscience like phrenology which is using skull structure (skull bumps basically) to determine that black ppl, asian ppl, etc were evolutionarily inferior to white people and should be “dealt with” accordingly. similar justifications behind ableism and why disabled people (specifically those with facial differences) should be “bred out of society” it’s just a bunch of real fucked up shit (haven’t finished watching the vid so jarvis might comment on this, but i’ll forget to reply. also hope i don’t sound condescending, i just have an interest in the weird justifications and “reasons” bigots had/have for their beliefs)
@@graymonk5972I’m often fascinated by how the biggest enthusiasts for these ideas are people who can’t even make the cut by their own personally crafted standards. Imagine inventing a whole entire club you can’t even join. Incredible.
About your little speech there towards the end, I guess I’m in the minority of your viewership demographic but young guy here. I 100% see you as a role model, you’re kind and funny and chill and respectful of everyone. That’s the kind of man everyone should aspire to be, making the people around them feel good and safe. I really don’t get why more guys don’t gravitate towards that sentiment it’s fucking crazy
I remember watching this one video when I was younger (like 12/13) and very self conscious of my body. The video was a guy (probs like 17) telling women what men find attractive-specifically, men do not like thick or fat women and my teenage mind took it as gospel. It took me a decade before I realized people did, in fact, find me attractive. I always thought they were joking or that I was misinterpreting them. I hated my body because of people like these guys who won’t dare show their own faces or bodies. Young girls (and young ppl in general) have a hard time seeing outside of things like reputation and appearances, especially their own, and things like this make self esteem so much worse.
@@icecranberry2148me too! people really underestimate how traumatizing bullying can be. It happens when our brains are shaping, and its the first things we hear about ourselves from peers. How can you undo damage like that?
as a non-binary viewer, jarvis including non-binary folk whenever referencing gender is really great. it’s something so small, but it makes me feel seen and included :)
I remember my self-hating middle school self asking a male classmate to rate me and my friends. He rated me a 4, another girl a 5, and two other girls 3s. The fact that I was relieved that I was somewhere in the middle? Atrocious. I felt RELIEVED that at least I wasn’t a 3. I’m in my 20s now. I still deal with self-image issues. I don’t like having pictures of my face taken. If someone takes a picture of me, I avoid looking at it afterwards and literally walk away. Sometimes I think I have facial dysmorphia. And this isn’t even touching the fact that I’m a brown woman in a society dominated by Eurocentric beauty standards, or that plastic surgery has become so normalized (and even lied about) these days. Anyway, I have my own journey to continue on. I think faking it till you make it is what might work for me. I just want to thank you Jarvis, for your vulnerability and compassion in this video because the institutions in this world profit off of our self-hatred. I was going through the rateme guides on Reddit and I felt sick. Every single person in this world has their own story, family, interests, and heart. Reducing them to their worst or best photos is very sad. The other day I was rating myself (not using that Reddit guide yikes, according to that I don’t even wanna know what I would be), thinking that I’m usually a 5/10, at best a 6. And you know what? That’s so unhealthy. I know I am worthy of love. I know I have a lot to offer. I don’t ever want to think in terms of rating people’s appearances again. I am so so sick of this mentality. I’m writing a piece on the relationship between ego and insecurity. I’m tired of being so obsessed with self-pity, in a way. I’m tired of making life so difficult to live. I just want to live, be my best self, and help others. ❤️
JARVIS! This video is a great example of why women feel comfortable watching your channel. Thank you for making a safe space and centering us and non-binary folks when you don't have to do that to be successful. Your channel is amazing because you're premium.
what you were talking about at the end is so important. i wouldn't have met the love of my life if he hadn't pushed thru my insecure self. i met him at a bar & instantly started chatting up his friend because i thought he was way too attractive for me. i was trying to get with his significantly less interesting less attractive friend because i thought i had a better chance. which in my head i did, in his head that was simply not the case. my boyfriend said it was love at first sight, but because of my own self conscious, i almost missed out on the best thing in my life. just be confident, you could be someone's light in the dark even when you think you're not even close.
Very love the personal story of how you were able to correct course because of positive influences around you. It’s really important that we, as a collective, don’t just say “don’t do this anymore” and leave it at that- ultimately, these are wayward young men who need guidance from positive influences. The amount of BS perpetuated solely because emotionally immature adults are having kids whose emotional needs and development go neglected is INSANE.
