Very simplistic statement- what if it’s a family member that you care about? A friend you love? It’s definitely not so easy for everyone to just “ ignore” someone.
@@SBecktacular Yes, it's much worse when you love them. But we have to care about our well-being and health more than trying to get anyone else to love us back. They won't love us back. When you get to the point where you don't need them to love you, understand you, relate to you and value you, that's when you will be free to walk away. Then you can love them from afar until you realize you want to love someone in real life, who will love you back.
Very important part is they never acknowledge their own abuse and will even protect their abusers. Narcissists are the ones who run away from their problems with sinister hobbies and definitely live in a fantasy land.
Constant crisis. And they get angry when you don’t get as stressed as they do. It’s tiring and wearing trying to tell someone that everything will be fine and never having anyone be there for you in return. Toward the end of a 20 year relationship I asked when was I going to ever get reassurance when I needed it, and why was I always having to calm him down. Always. And all the while having to hear that I’m not supportive enough, although his insecurities and needs were bottomless and would never be met.
Constant crisis mode! I'm usually a calm person but he gets so neurotic that he makes me want to flip right out lol. I don't understand how these people don't spontaneously combust from it. It gets worse at night when it's bedtime for the kids. It's supposed to be quiet, dark and calm and he's got all the lights flicked on, ranting about how many minutes teeth were brushed and then lecturing everyone on whatever. It's super annoying!
Brilliantly insightful. I find one of the most difficult things to face was wasting all that time, energy and emotions tolerating those games too long. Once I got wind of the common pattern and now being able to stand outside my own body, looking how I reacted or didn't react, I have no recourse but to adjust awareness, tolerate none of it and say goodbye to that former person I was... which is a good thing.
REMINDER TO MYSEFL: Narcissists are insecure, cowardly , selfish, needy, bottomless pit of endless insecurity and need. Narcissists are insecure, cowardly, selfish, needy, bottomless pit of endless insecurity and need. Narcissists are insecure , cowardly selfish, needy, bottomless pit of endless insecurity and need. Narcissists are insecure, cowardly, selfish, needy, bottomless pit of endless insecurity and need.
You are describing 3 out of 4 of my family members. I never could figure out why my grandmother acted like she did until I found your channel. Not even Dr. Phil is this good.
"Yeah, this fantasy you have about yourself...really smart" (8:49). I am noting this statement to commit it to memory. I have the feeling that the occasion will present itself for its usage. The irony-impaired narcissist to who I imagine redirecting this expression may feel the discomfort of its prickle when others start to laugh.
Very insightful. 🙏 On the one hand, I have compassion and empathy for people who were, in a sense, groomed to be narcissists by abusive parents or “caretakers”, but on the other hand, once they’ve become the abusive adult, I can’t justify the idea that the hurt they cause is anyone else’s responsibility. They need to be held accountable. Even if that means removing ourselves from their presence, whenever possible.
I divorced someone that was like this! I didnt know a narcissistic hated themselves. Just thought it was a sociopath i was stuck with so my can sombody be both? Like some nightmare combo?
That's wild! I would've never thought Superman over here was insecure at all! He hides it pretty well then and certainly doesn't confide in me about it.
As to stress you are right -not all of them fit here. Quite a lot excel in suppressing anxiety and are seen as easy going happy go lucky individuals which makes them attractive company for most people as most of us can't feel those "something is off"" vibes. They may be pretty popular just because of their being always ready for fun - doing things, going places, telling jokes and stuff.
I think she is referring to what you see when in a relationship with them for any length of time. None of them really do this at the beginning of the relationship or everyone would see it. The anxiety and stress starts to come out whenever you put boundaries in place or don’t agree with them on something. Since they have the emotional maturity of a child, they will not be able to handle anxiety or stress when it comes about.
