TikToker documents his mother's mental illness 

If she was a cat poop hoarder with a house stacked with dirty diapers and piss bottles no one would judge him and it's the same level of disorder just in the other direction.

I 100% agree. Just because you don’t have the illness yourself doesn’t mean you don’t suffer from it. I love someone with pretty severe mental disorders, and often I wonder if it hurts me more than her

@@harmdizzle1979 My last partner had Borderline Personality Disorder with psychotic features. One false move and I was the enemy. Followed by deep remorse, but still. When he was having an episode I was the worst person on the earth, begging him to remember I loved him. Still recovering years later.

You are right ❤

I mean what you expect? people blame everyone and everything that they don't like

Thank you for this comment! I don't understand why this seems to be a "hold equal empathy for both people" situation for many. As a parent it is your PRIMARY job within a parent-child relationship to keep your children safe (emotionally, physically, etc) and she is actively and continuously causing severe harm to her children and family. I can emphasize that her life must also be a living hell, but my empathy runs dry when she is refusing to help herself in order to prevent herself from further harming her family.

💯

Exactly right. I have BPD and for so long I didn't know what was wrong with me and then when I did, I only acknowledged it when I needed to manipulate someone or to get out of trouble. Once I sobered up (opiate addiction) it was like a lighbulb turned on: I realized I was just flat out abusing the people I loved. I completely changed everything about my behavior. And to this day, I'm still so ashamed of the person I was. You have to have a lot of self-awareness to own up to the pain you've caused if you're ever going to get healthy and have good relationships with the people around you. If you can't even apologize, then there's no chance.

Can't agree more.

@@gingerleamcwow435 I’m proud of you! I have a sister who also has BPD and is a narcissist and she flat out refuses to see when she is wrong and abusive to her family. It’s terrifying and sad. I’m the only one in our family who actively went to therapy and took responsibility for myself, my traumas and mental illnesses. Owning up to yourself is not for the weak. It’s hard work. Again, I’m proud of you for how far you have come. Some days will be harder than others but you got this fight 💪🏻

I came here to say this. Thank you, it’s exhausting to care for people who don’t want to seek help and drag everyone with them along. Enough is enough.

This!!

So true. You can't control if you have a mental illness, but if you have the means then the responsible thing for yourself and loved ones is to seek help

I couldn't agree more

Since I don't know what all she has for sure, I can't be certain, but there ARE MIs and mixtures of MI symptoms that can compulsively or obsessively push people away from getting help or block them entirely, even if they know they need it (and unfortunately, a signature of OCD is KNOWING the sh1t you do and think is whackadoo, but being partially or entirely unable to stop yourself anyways - the lack of control is part of the distressing part of the disorder). While my immediate reaction is to agree (I literally will walk away from people I know are REFUSING to get help who CAN get it and have access and just will not do it intentionally), I have to add that it MAY not actually be something she can help. It could be a case of her phobias and conditions being SO bad that she's filled with compulsions the minute she even attempts it. The command those compulsions and obsessive thoughts can have over your entire ability to human at all is terrifying... When your own mind betrays you, your body will follow. I have compassion for the mom being so VERY VERY VERY sick, and it sounds like she's had a loooooooong downslide spiral... but my sympathies and compassion are MOST for the kid. He needs to get out ASAFP and there just, sadly, may never be anything he can do except to minimize how much contact he has with his parents. That relationship with mom may just not be possible at all anymore, because she's not getting help, and while he might be able to make a relationship with his father work it can't happen while she's alive and they're still together. So, sadly, the best case scenario here is he moves in with GF or gets out entirely and just goes minimal contact and lets his mother... do what she gon' do. She'll either wind up alone and unalive (accidentally or on purpose) or she'll eventually wind up alone and get help because she's finally hit a point where its either "get help" or "continue in an intolerable condition for remainder of life". From the sounds of that last video clip, it seems she may have given up on fighting for herself and her mental health a long while ago, and with the way she's focused on how dirty the kids are, I suspect that parenting young children she can't control enough to 'feel clean' was possibly one of the nails in the coffin of her control... Something clearly happened when they were younger (the kids), but with her conditions, it could have been as simple as "little boys roll in muck, they get messy, they play physically, they bring in dirt, its inevitable" being that one final straw of lacking control in her life that spiraled her out. *_Whatever happened here, its deeply sad for all involved but MOST of all for the kids who were emotionally ab*sed and (from the comments here who've seen more) maybe even more than just emotionally. There's at least one comment asserting the sister has spoken and revealed she was once barred from hospital by her mother when she had a bad infection..._*

I agree. My mother was HORRIBLY abusive to me and my siblings. My dad did NOTHING to stop her. I haven’t talked to either of them since I was 25. I’m 42 now.

We don't know the dad's situation. We only know it from the perspective of the son. If the dad is also living through abusive treatment, then it might not be that easy for him.

While I agree, I'd have to counter with "look at all the partners with kids struggling against DV who either take years to finally ask for help and get out, or who never get out at all". If the mother is like this with the kids, I can only imagine what hell the father has had to personally experience. She COULD be perfectly nice and calm with him, but she could ALSO have him so scared to either get hurt, get the kids hurt or see her hurt herself that he might be cowed into obedience. There is a lot we do not know, and while it could also be true he may have nothing stopping him at all and maybe just is a coward too much to stand up for his kids and do what's right... we shouldn't assume right away. A case this bad, that man could EASILY be one of the worst-controlled victims in this situation. He could easily have a situation far worse than the children's (as some adults experiencing DV while having kids may ensure the treatment that is worse happens to them instead, as an act of protecting their children). It could be that he deserves blame, or it could also be that he has illnesses himself that are going untreated and unspoken of in the wake of his wife's much more obvious struggles. He could literally be stockholmed. He could potentially just be terrified of being the reason she unalives or tries to kill him and unalive herself (a lot of DV survivors who speak out say they stayed so long out of fear that if caught they would be killed, or worse). It could be that the father has his own conditions that put him at her mercy as his caretaker, even if its unknown to the son and daughter because its not as apparent when compared to what mom's got. IF the above are not factors and he has just been choosing his SICK wife over getting the kids and wife all help in one way or another (by leaving, getting medical involved, pushing wife to get help "or else I'll take the kids and leave you here"), then he is absolutely as guilty as the mother, if not MORE so because he'd be mentally culpable more than her. In that case, she'd have an illness pushing her out of whack that she should be getting help for but may not be due to... literally being mentally incapable of making that choice, while HE would be mentally sound and just dealing with a troubled wife, therefore having no real reasons not to recognize that the kids needed to be removed from this situation ASAFP once she was clearly crossing the lines and disordering everyone's life in the house.

1000% agree. As a parent it’s your job to protect and care for your kids.

And then get accused of kidnapping? You don't know how the law works, a father can't "move out" with his kids unless a judge gives him the custody

I could feel his pain and frustration in that sentence alone.

It broke me. I've screamed it so many times. I didn't ask to be here or to be made. Y was my existence my fault?

I felt that on a personal level

I believe a lot ppl are thinking their "playful joke" ocd is being attacked.

I have OCD and I agree with you. Yes your health issues can affect others around you in ways that can’t always be helped, but abuse is abuse with or without the illness. My mindset has always been that this is my illness, my responsibility. Yes I might sometimes ask for help if I struggle but nobody should have to continously take part in my compulsions.

Yes if anything he’s helping bring awareness. A whole bunch of people think OCD just means lol I like things clean and organized. But it’s much more debilitating than that as evidenced by this young man’s video.

2:05

I agree. That is so damaging to him. He has had to grow up with his mom telling him he's dirty but she and his dad are not dirty. He has a tiny area in the refrigerator and basically has to stay in his room alone. That is heartbreaking and it's child abuse.

I think you might misunderstand because the mothers standards probably have her freaking out over 1 piece of fluff, so everything over that is "dirty" it isn't a directed insult at the son but how she views absolutely everything in the world (apart from the father who probably matches her standards of follows protocol so she doesn't view him as dirty.) Also I think you are taking dirty too literally, isn't really an accurate descriptor, it's not like mudd or something. Contamination OCD means that people view things as tainted and unsafe, not legitimately unclean. This is often based on fear and thoughts too rather than any actual science or real dirt. For example just items touching someone can think the "dirt" has moved from one item to the next so view both as "dirty" not based on lool or even a microscope but a thought and feelings. It's an illogical feeling that is difficult to describe but also it isn't rooted in reality.

I can't imagine one of my parents considering me "dirty". It's so sad because they don't want to call you that, it's beyond them but it's still so hurtful.

⁠@@NotAnotherKuromiwhile it’s not meant to be an insult from his mother, it is still harmful to him to be called dirty and to be treated that way. It’s on the mom to get help for her mental illness, she’s unfairly subjecting/expecting him to follow her compulsions, and it’s emotionally damaging him. She needs to do better, that is her job as a parent. Her OCD being triggered doesn’t mean it’s okay for her to treat everyone this way

Yeah I think a lot of people are just not understanding this condition. On what it actually does to the brain. This woman probably genuinely think she may die. It doesn’t help either, that contamination is a legitimate problem for humans. So she probably takes legitimate medical facts, and twist them. Due to the fact that that’s what her condition does. It just really sucked to hear him say that he thought she was weird, since that is not someone talking about things in an empathetic place. That is someone who is angry, and thinks the person is weird. Definitely not a word I would use if I felt empathetic& was just explaining the effect the condition has on me. He is resentful. Which is blinding his understanding of what is actually happening.😥 2:05@@NotAnotherKuromi

I agree. I think that's the bigger issue here. Sure, she can have her little rituals, but banning him from most of the house because he's "dirty" is such strong rejection rejection and abandonment. Wanting to literally throw the couch away because he sat on it is beyond demoralizing. She's is guaranteeing he'll never return and severe the relationship, but she seems like she's wanting that anyway. It's just sad.

Yeah, I have contamination OCD and there's only a small number of people who are "dirty" to me. Those people are actually my abusers who abused me all throughout my childhood and made me feel dirty and disgusting, hence I now associate them with that unbearable dirty feeling. I'm bringing this up because I'd never feel like someone's dirty for no reason, there has to be something with that person/ the person has to constantly make me feel dirty in a way and that's just not happening unless that person is abusive. Seems to me like this woman just hates her child, and her OCD just latches onto these negative feelings towards him. Like I don't even think the core issue here is the mother's OCD (I mean it's still an issue but you know what I mean...I think?) but those negative feelings she harbors towards her son which in return exacerbates her OCD towards him specifically. Poor dude, I feel so bad for him.

Yes! It sucks the life out of life. I have contamination ocd and relate to the "rules" his mom has. I wish her freedom ❤

@@screw_it_why_not 💕💕

@@ville__ umm please tell me when she said that thank you?

@@ville__how long did it take you to comment this on every single comments under this video?

As someone with OCD, I had those exact thoughts. It's clear the son is reaching out/venting and the mom needs help for her mental health. I hope they both get the help they need and things work out for them in the end 🙏🏽

I follow the son on TikTok and he has practically BEGGED her to get help but she refuses. He’s even tried to 5150 her bc she was threatening self harm bc of an OCD meltdown and the cops said it wasn’t enough evidence. It’s really sad.

**children bc apparently he has a SISTER

​​@@ville__where did you see/hear that?

@@alb91878That person is either a bot or a troll. They've been commenting the same crap on another commentary creator's video (FunkyFrogBait). Best course of action would be to report them for spam

@@WhenYourNumbersUp thank you! I didn't realize it at first, but after seeing them on 7 comments, I reported it

Exactly the same here

Not stigmatizing at all. He’s just showing the reality of living with someone with a mental illness, especially ones that don’t seek help when they need it. I think he’s more showing the importance of getting help because of how the disorder is affecting the family

@@olivemoon1871I don't think they were saying that the son was stigmatizing mental illness. They were just saying that it shouldn't be stigmatized. But, they also said that they agree that's NOT what the son is doing. He's just venting

​@@eprimeify2090 So because someone has OCD and doesn't give a f*** enough about her own family to get help, we should coddle her? Get real.

as someone with ocd, thank you this is so well said. they shouldn’t be stigmatized but they also shouldn’t be used as an excuse.

My brother-in-law's mother has OCD, and one year, her birthday gift to him was a hug. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

That's a huge reason why I'll never have kids. Just because I have OCD doesn't mean other people have to suffer because of it. My mom and grandma also have OCD, and I just can't do that to any child.

That’s absolutely horrifying wtf

Why the hell didn't the father take her to the Dr?

At what point can we start calling it child neglect…. Especially because she’s refusing to get help

@@NotAnotherKuromii could be wrong but i think they said he was out of the state or country visiting famiyly so it was just the mom and the daughter as the son was also away at university.

When my partner was mentally ill I kept a diary to track their episodes. I had no intention to show it to anyone but it helped to show myself that what I was experiencing was fucked up but very real. He isn't doing this to put her on blas, he's doing it to validate his experiences. What he's going through is extreme and not normal, and documenting it probably helps ground him in reality.

​@@DycehartI hope your both doing well now😢

Yes it is her responsibility. Unfortunately with immigrant parents, they do not believe in mental health. She refused help and medication to help treat her OCD and is now neglecting her family. It is really sad :(

​@@HORIZONNNN she was getting treated but she's not anymore

@@shelby6 that sucks

Thiiiiis it’s the most important component … narcissistic abuse is very real

Yep and a big component in her refusal of any professional help for her other mental illnesses.

Sadly I almost want to say she shouldn’t have had kids. Kids get sick, they will do nasty stuff like throw up, bleed, etc. it’s part of being a human. I think someone said he talked about a time his sister got extremely sick and needed to be taken to the hospital and the mother didn’t. She made it all about herself and how going to the hospital would gross her out over her sick child. Don’t have kids if you can’t have moments where you out yourself second and your child first.

I agree, everyone knows babies are gross But she got married and had TWO kids knowing she had contamination OCD. Thats just fucked and irresponsible.

@@teddiiursula agreed. glad some of us take our mental illnesses/health serious enough to get help and make a logical decision when it comes to having children. her OCD in this case is very severe.

For what he has said, it got worse thought time, he said it was small things, she was more "aesthetic ocd" than paranoid, then it got worse, probably because it was untreated and she maybe had some very traumatic event that made it gradually worse to the point that it is now :/

​@@teddiiursulasome mental illnesses come up or get worse just once you had kids and its too late.

This can often begin later in life, even when the kids are grown. Its usually to do with fighting for control and autonomy.

It’s genuine fear to them so both parties I feel for.

@@Dgnmuse it’s not okay to scream at him though

@@ville__ weird response, anyway, where did she say that? She’s made videos saying otherwise

@@Dgnmuseno she shouldnt have had kids

​@@mikki_s1100 I can't see what @ville_ wrote because it blocked me and changed it's username but report it's account and comments as misinformation, spam, or bullying/harassment because it's accuses Stephanie Soo ( @missmangobuttt) of S.A.

I hope the kids never talk to their parents ever again once they graduate.

wow. i didn’t make that connection until reading this. she absolutely does see him as dirty due to some internal hatred or dislike toward him. super sad.

Yeah like she resents him for having to birth him, when she decided that

My fiance has contamination OCD and he works very, very hard to make sure I'm not impacted by it. He struggles sometimes, but he's in therapy, which this awful woman refuses to do. She is abusive, and I hope those kids can move away and cut all contact with their parents.

I've never heard of contamination ocd, but I definitely have it, I get teased by my friends and mum for it. But my mum taught me the ground was filthy and feet are filthy. It's hard watching her now with her new partner and kids not enforcing the shoes and clean feet rule. Triggers me so hard

@@laurakeightley9882 I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you're able to find relief from your struggle soon. I know what it's like to live like this and it's hell dude. you deserve to be at peace and not feel attacked by your surroundings. peace and love, and many hugs 🫂

There's a loud minority out there that think the mentally ill are sacred cows or something. They can't be criticized, discussed, etc. It's so stupid and a slap in the face of the mentally ill who DO seek treatment and have functional lives.

The people critical of him are also probably mentally ill like have narcissism, etc and are trying to justify their own toxic behaviors.

fr having your own struggles and struggling through them is one thing (mental illness is more than a struggle but ykwim im just bad with words) but if you reproduce and plan on raising your offspring you have an obligation to help yourself. it’s a whole different concept when we are adding an unwilling trapped poor child in the mix

@@twothousandandchewExactly

Yes, she needs help

Kind of hard in this economy. Capitalism and socio economic states keeps a lot of people stuck in abusive situations and hence why trauma cycles for generations

​@@jkatttt1699 Unfortunately that's true.

​@@jkatttt1699Hopefully he can stay with his gf for a while until they can move in together. Sounds like he's a college student or freshly graduated since he "moved back".. so hopefully he'll find a job and a place soon.

Exactly! The father has become an enabler and it probably is one of those situations where everyone involved don’t understand how they got to this point. But his father needs to stand up for his children. It broke my heart to see their living conditions. Such a huge house and so empty in so many ways.

@@MiroirNoir He probably doesn't understand what's going on or is a victim in it of himself. I wouldn't be shocked if he has also been abused this entire time. While he isn't a good father if it doesn't stand up for his son, we should also keep in mind he too is a victim. I hope the both of them get out from under her.

@@vvitch-mist20 you’re right, the dad must also be a victim himself. I hope somehow this family finds their way before too late.

@@MiroirNoir People really don't understand how this kind of dynamic really fucks with someone's sense of morality, especially since his mother has a very warped sense of reality so he's probably doing his son the best by pacifying her.

My dad told my mom to do that and when she didn't he told her to leave. Nobody told me about that which really sucked and I've never had a stepmom or my mom fully commit to being a mom since but it was so much better in comparison with my mom staying. She was really going downhill at the time, a SAHM angry with her children for not doing her chores/ existing as children/ she hoarded stuff all over our home I had to clean up, we had to get a dumpster, and still stole from our college accounts whatever was in there and stole from my dad's bank (not a joint account) My parents had still modelled being codependent to me before and in other ways after which I now have to deal with too. I had to care for my little sister because it was really hard on her and she has never felt thankful for that probably because she feels guilty. That's what kept me fighting was her.

It's for his own safety. His mother could easily spin a story where her son was the attacker and she is the victim, but this documentation makes it harder for her to be able to claim that.

I have an asian mum and likewise, I felt so sad for him because while mine isn't mentally unwell to this extent at all, she has similar issues. Viewing others as dirty, only sitting in certain spots, certain areas of the house being "off limits" to some but not others, hiding things. It's insulting, it affects your self esteem and relationship, and in his case it's abusive. Being raised like this is traumatic.

@@ville__wait, question: where did you get this info from? Did she verbally stated it?

​@HORIZONNNN This ville person (or possibly bot) mass posts comments about random things under a lot of this channel's comments. They seem to just be trying to rage bait responses and attention.

Yeah, if his mom has severe OCD, schizophrenia and NPD (amongst other things) ooof... it'll be a miracle if she actually agrees to getting professional help cause that's a tough/stubborn combination.

Same I apologize to my roommate all the time for having to deal with me

It feels like he's talking to social media like there his closest friend

Yeah I think the journal/diary take is very active plus the likely no close friends then

The very first video shown he literally says his friend was staying in his sisters room because she is at college

Like everything has to be a "certain way" to bring them the specific comfort they're after.

This right here! I have my own struggles and I work on them (meds and therapy) because they aren't everyone else's struggles and people aren't responsible for catering to me!

no exactly, i don’t drag my family into my bpd and anorexia, i deal with it WITHOUT making their lives miserable

also to clarify i am NOT excusing the abuse he is going through. i just want to make it clear that this is clearly not a black of white situation, and he says this has significantly gotten worse over time.