To All The Young Pickmieshas and Babara The Builders 

My Elixirs : www.etsy.com/shop/DarkRealmShop

My grandmother recently told me that if a man tells me about his life and I start feeling sorry for him, I should WALK TF AWAY.

Today I spoke to a woman making $380,000.00 a year and doesn't pay any bills. Her husband is a provider making more than she does and pays all the bills.

“It is better to be an old man's darling than a young man's slave." -John Heywood This proverb suggests, that the women who marries an old man will fare better than the women who marry a young one, on the grounds that the old men are likely to make a great fuss of his young wife, while the young men will expect her to make a fuss of him. It is better for a woman to marry a mature older man who treats her well than an unstable young man.

She’s absolutely right ! At 33 finally learned my lesson . Did it for 5 years and got nothing out of it but a baby . SMH no ring no nothing . Just bullshit. Trust me she knows what she’s talking about !

Lesson: ***The person who cares the least has the most power***

I'm embarrassed to say I was angry at Shera when I was a young pickme. Now I'm kept and I love her message. You all better listen.

I’m 23 and I used to be a pickmeisha. Used to feed a man, sex a man and gift a man and I mean he never returned the favor. Even would mute my text messages when I would ask for simple things. I blocked him, and decided it’s time to level up. I used to think bc I was plus size that I had to compromise but I’m beautiful af and any man would be proud to have me on his arm.

I can testify that young men can provide, but it’s rare. My husband and I are both 31. He works 2 good paying jobs, and has a successful business. I’m a stay at home mom, and was able to save my annual income before quitting. Our house is almost paid off. He just bought me a new car in cash. We invest, and I’m looking to start my own business. He is so good to me and our two children. Most importantly, he is a genuine, kind & loyal man. I pray every woman finds a man like my husband. We were friends for 8 years before we started dating. He is a patient man!

i was with a boy for 5 yrs that had to borrow money from ME. now i'm with a man that would NEVER. sprinkle sprinkle ✨

I started watching your channel in 2018 and I was paying ALOT of bills and doing all the housework. Fast forward to 2023, I have my own business as a realtor that my husband funded, he pays every single bill in the house and he treats me with a lot more respect and love, buying me nice cars and expensive perfumes and purses. Your advise I started listening to almost 5 years ago WORKS and changed my marriage for the better!

"Don't be mad at him be mad at YOURSELF for giving more than you re receiving " You ain't told a lie yet!!!!!!!🗣🗣🗣🗣

I like that saying. “Stop doing the most for the Least.”

I was a pick-me-anna soo bad in college. I was the girl who “my man my man my man” when he literally had holes in his underwear, cheating, and no money. I’ve been delivered😂 And now I won’t even brag about a man because I haven’t met not one that does everything you’re mentioning! Sprinkle Sprinkle

I feel like you do an annual announcement to the Pickmeshas! Like our President. 😂

“The best revenge is to level up and never repeat. Get money” Shera is MuVa. Y’all better listen💁🏽‍♀️

"Y'all are waitresses, you are bringing too much to the table," 😂😂😂 Shera has started the video on 🔥

Part of my leveling up included quitting drinking. It wasn’t benefiting me in any way. Sleep is better, skin is better and my emotions are in check! 💗🦄👍

“That’s just your friend; that’s just your company; your MAN pays bills” 👏🏽. Say it again for the people in the back😀

“How to turn down a marriage proposal: Make a long list of the things he can’t give you” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I just free’d myself from a man who got mad at me because I didn’t ‘lift him up’. He said that I don’t give him enough peace, even tho I’m a mature and drama free woman (he said himself). I told him I will never, I’m not your wife and I’m not being taking care off to give you some validation cause it’s not about the peace, it’s about his insecurities. Later he told me I was right and he’s getting help. Never waist your time with insecure men, even if he has money. They are dangerous.

I see women saying how they don’t mind paying for their dates but complains about how their dates won’t pay. 😅

Yes I’m 19 now, almost 20 and went through hell with a dusty for 6 months after being lied to and manipulated into his psychological tricks… it was awful now that I think about it . I decided to leave him where he’s at. It’s too many other guys out there who want me, no need to be stuck up on one who can’t even take me on a date!

When women elevate, those dusties are using platforms to argue you down

You guys listen she's right I wasted 3 years thank god im only 25

young men CAN PROVIDE. i am 24 now, have been with my now fiancé since i was 20 and he has been providing from the moment we moved out together (6 months into our relationship) & he is only a year older. we got engaged this year & are only doing & planning amazing things together. to this day he still says working is my choice, & even if i wanted work to hes told me it would be MY money to spend & do whatever with. i wouldnt have to pay a thing. but he LOVES having me at home. ❤️

I am ashamed to admit that I have been a pickmiesha. 🤮 I realized what I had been doing and stopped that crap a couple years ago . Workin on my level up right now

The best revenge is to level up and never repeat. 💯

I’m 18 but I refuse to be a pick me ever in my life. Genuinely 💀

I'm only a minute in and Shera is already dropping gems ☺️ Women don't lift men up! Take a hint and a clue from the Ice Skaters... You never see women lifting men up, it's not natural or beautiful. Nobody wants to see that Crap! 😒🙄😅

I’m embarrassed a little to say I’ve been operating in pickmeshia ways. I’m 22, and idk if that’s normal at this age, but I’m starting to see my worth & value now. A lot of it came from me trying to fill a void through men, but that only sets me up to be used! I’m more focused on self love & my own empowerment from within these days. This video was right on time 😅 Thank you Ashera for your wisdom!

43 still got men on the go won’t settle if he ain’t a worker

The worst thing a girl can do is have a baby out of wedlock. And dusties hate marriages. Put two together girls and just go by that rule forever.

Wow at 40, I’m seeing all the 20 somethings in the comments and SO happy y’all are finding Shera! It takes a lot to open up to this game but it’s worth it. This game is important (low key) to be sold and not told. Trust me, listen. If a man doesn’t invest in you, MOVE ON. After 28, don’t waste no time. ❤ y’all and Shera!

Found you from Tiktok!! You are the bomb, keep spreading the truth to women. These men think they are deserving of $ex without giving anything other than lip service. As women we collectively need to hold men up to a standard. No goodies without paying and providing consistently first and foremost..

I used to be a codependent people pleaser. Now, I don’t accept the okey doke!

I learned to never hold a guy down at his lowest cuz he would be quick to sh** on u when he’s on top.Once me & my ex broke up I seen clarity. Unfortunately once he was in a better position he switched up - fast forward he have a new gf who 9/10 wouldn’t been there for him at his lowest. He told me he still “love me “ but in a new relationship it hurt but I learned to never be too vulnerable to these men & definitely higher my standards! I’m beautiful. I’m worthy. It’s time a man pour into me how I pour into them ( which I no longer will do cuz it got me nowhere ) I deserve that happy , royalty treatment and I’m not settling

💐Young women are very fortunate to hear this advice! We didn’t have RU-vid coming up😇🌼

A man told me he was broke and I told him I could give him £1k (just to test what he would say). He told me he really needed £2k lol . Needless to say he did not get one penny from me. This is what is out there ladies if you ever feel bad for a man. I found out he cheated on all his women and wife and took money from his latest gf to pay for his divorce then cheated on her with her sister in laws friends.

I’m 25 and I was pickmeisha fr lol. I built a man and gave myself to him then he just started pulling away and broke up w me 💀 never going to be me again

Aging backwards like a truely leveled-up queen, sprinkle sprinkle! ✨💖

All my friends growing up used to get so mad at ne for thinking like this smh i was on track all along and have been afforded beautiful experiences at the expense of men .

Thank u for putting a name to the foolishness in my 50's having serious Barbra the builder tendencys and proud of it!! Cooking luxurious meals for" Dusties" lol that helped me tremendously!!. Now im free..never again

Whenever i get into relationship thinking it was okey to sacrifice abit, i realized they keep going back to the ex who has kept away from him because he is not doing much until he starts becoming the man she wants him to become. And yes i must say, what shera is telling is just so true. Men will keep going back to the one who is more kept to their feminine side meaning not willing to be masculine with him. Lol....a dusty means making u dusty too. I dont want that and id just work with them if I get an opportunity to grow but i wont settle with them

OMG thank you so much Shera. Where were you when I was a few years younger girl?? I'm so grateful I get to hear these messages from older, empowered women.

The difference of need and want in a sentence : “We NEED men on earth 🌍 but we WANT a Masculine healthy Man”.

How to over come pickmisha, dusty and Barbara the builder parents? 😢😢 I just realized and accepted who raised me and how I was raised.

Reforming Picmesha here, I just wanna say you're so gentle with your message and I appreciate that at this very delicate transitional time❤

Interestingly, a handful of these types are actually attractive, but don’t realize that a less attractive woman who holds up her value is going to fare much better than they will.

I just love your aura ❤ I recently turned in my PickMeisha torch by ending a 6 year situation/relationship and your content has helped me tighten myself up when I catch myself doubting or second guessing the choices I’ve made . I’m 24 years old & now that I’m single your words have helped me through the process . You definitely have gained a new supporter in me & I will definitely be tuned in ❤️❤️ sprinkle sprinkle ✨✨ love you & don’t EVER stop ❤️ #SurvivingADusty

Shera you are a heroine! Ive always been old fashioned and my older brother told me only date men that have a car and a job because the majority of the men in my family support the women! If any women in my family work most of us work part time! I have single friends that are miserable chasing men and giving them money and then they get screwed over by these broke mens! Women need to stand strong and wait for better quality men! I agree with you never ever chase a man!

👸if he's NOT💰🎁🤑💎🏡🚘 spoiling u from the very beginning. leave. bc its only going to get worse🤬, trust😌!

I’m 23 and you woke me up and motivate me 💰💖

“Looking like I don’t work, because I don’t “💁🏽‍♀️😂😂

I am thank you for this. I just turned 19, and I feel like I am a pichmesha

I was angry at Shera after being a Pickme and being tossed away by him it took me a while but I can finally see the light she is 100% right

22 was a barbra. Luckily left with nothing thankfully no ties. Built him up to the Max never did nothing I mean nothing for me. 6 years. Done with the dusty and moving on

I have been watching you since 2020 during quarantine. I love you Auntie Shera. I quit my job,my man(he’s wayyyyyyyyyyyy older& I adore him) he provides for me and he renovated my business and invested $4000USD in my new business(we were only dating for 2 days)Best advice ever ❤️. From Jamaica. He lovessss providing and making me happy

Yeahhh… I didn’t think you were right 3 yrs ago. I’m here to say you were 100% right.

I wish I would’ve listen to your videos from 20-27. Fortunately I am now with a provider & we love eachother sm but i was w a dusty before him & for 7 years!! I only been w my man for two and I feel so feminine & loved etc.

I'm 18 I am so happy to come across your page ,I can bypass all the BS and use them to my advantage instead of being used 😘💅💰

I was a former pickmesha and a barbara the builder. and i am so glad that i changed lnmfao

I'm still trying to process the fact that women like that exist. That would be an exhausting existence. Thank God you can help them.

i never been a pickmesha thankfully but i’ve had mediocre romantic experiences. feel like i still have things to learn (i’m 21) i was never taught anything i had to learn it all on my own. tysm for ur vids bc implementing your tips has helped me sm

too many black moms stop at don't have sex(as a teen i'm assuming) and don't rely on a man. i was never taught how to date how to finesse it was just don't have sex...utnil when they never said??? haha. i'm learning in my 30s now.

Love this woman.

I’m 17 and I’m listening to all your videos and your spitting hella facts

I wish I met you sooner but I am so thankful for you ❤❤❤❤❤

I work full time, have epilepsy, do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc, pay utilities and pay all the grocery bills, and do all the shopping. I am 28. Needless to say, this is not the life I wanted. He wants no kids and not to get married. I feel so dumb after watching your videos. I have bent over backward to please this man and constantly edit myself and lifestyle to suit him... he is 29. I feel really stupid.

You want to be doing everything on your own but you don't want to be alone 🤣🤣 righttt

i always love when u come up on my youtube. i’m 19 and have been a pickmishea about a year ago luckily i left and started to learn what i really want in a man(money)lol! my new man is 25 and stable asfff pays for everything and takes me out all the time, i don’t cook or clean at all

Your final words are wonderful/ the mother every girl should have 🌼🌻🌼🌻

SPRINKLE SPRINKLE

Even if this type of man is “long term” he will cheat on u after everything u did to build them up and ur gonna be mad.

I’m so mad I was a pickmeisha. NEVER AGAIN

SheRa, I see A LOT of those in various comments threads. They are really convinced that going 50/50 or accepting less from men is eventually going to get these dusty manosphere types to come through for them. I am so saddened for them that, in a few short years, they will be in for a very rude awakening and are going to wish they listened to your messages.

Not massaging crusty bunions 😂😂😂🤣

I'm ashamed to say i'm 29 years old and i'm only discovering Shera this year and i'm only learning about dusties and bare minimum men. Wasted my time giving these men chances and I have to admit, I didn't know my self worth. ☹ I'm only learning how to level up right now.

Havent watched you in years but totally agree! As a reformed pick me I have to thank you for being one of the first that woke me up from my pick me barbara the builder transe.

She is the truth! Y’all better listen 🥰😊

If you can listen. Shera will change your life. 💯Guaranteed.

The title omg I’m dead

Sprinkle sprinkle!!!!!!!!!!😂😂🎉🎉🎉😊😊

Provider Men only Ladies. Period.

One of my grandmother's name is Barbara. She was certainly a builder 👷‍♀️

Ma'am! I love this content! Don't build a man up unless he's going to be with you! You ain't lying!

I’d rather be a old man’s lover vs a younger man’s fool!!! Sprinkle Sprinkle✨✨

For many women who saw mums doing it all its probably first time someone told them how we should be treated❤

I wish i knew all these many years before when I was a pickmeisha & didn't recognize the guys that worth it & i had so many options because now i have zero only dusties 😢

Sprinkle sprinkle, never again✨ Thank you for sharing this beautiful lesson ❤

I 100% agree with the stuff she's sayin as a man you have to learn to apply the way women think to yourself

I needed this video three months ago but I’m so glad I found it now

Do you have a video on how to spice up or implement these ideas into an already existing long-term relationship? I want to give mine a facelift, girl! Love your videos, sprinkle sprinkle!

I am glad you're trying to help the younger women Shera because it's absolutely sad how they act like they HATE older women..I mean when I was their age, I may have said some negative things about the older women, usually when they got smart with me but not listening to those who were before me, who usually have more wisdom than me, I listened to...I'm older and I STILL love to hear the advice of older women than me, we're always learning and who more to learn from than those beforehand?? They literally only listen to each others nonsense, it's the the blind leading the blind and what's worse is their own men their age, pretty much don't want nothing to do with them, even the men that have no room to talk, want nothing to do with them, I see them trying to talk to older women. The young women's mindsets are messed up because they have these role models like Meg the stallion, cardi B and city girls that they're listening to who are also young and puppets of hollywood...Yea we had Lil Kim and others, I never said women shouldn't stay on game and getting money but it's HOW you do it!! The advice they give these girls today will have them "unalived"...You have to be SMART to have game, it takes real skills and wisdom for this which they DO NOT have because they're MAD at the older women who give it!! How did this even happen? What is this division between younger and older women?? But I see them all the time on social media calling themselves "dragging the older ladies and looking foolish.. Number one we all were young and and we all get old, it's like making fun of the transitioned as if they're not going to transition one day. Aging and transitioning are coming for ALL.. They say we're washed up and the cooch dry. They do have me laughing because I said the same thing..😂😂 But we're seriously tearing each other down by the words and ideology of men, and this needs to stop...And btw, it don't get dry as you get older, if it does then the woman needs to get checked and that is a condition that may be experienced by all ages of women..lol

This title made me laugh out loud. I clicked it so quick though! I’ve been there before never again! Learning to let the man lead & spoil me & keep my money

Am here as a pickmeisha And Barbara the builder

I never had a guy take care of me or give me money the way you are saying 😢

I love how u get the people riled up 😂😂 I appreciate the message

My ex was 7 years older but didn't treat me better than younger men. He a scorpio.

❤❤ wish we all got taught this earlier