Get out and ignore them. If you do listen to them your self esteem will be destroyed. I was in a toxic work environment for 6 years it nearly took me a year to recover
What do you do when you have never took part in office gossip or spoke about anyone at the office, yet you are consistently the centre of gossip? What do you do if you’re discriminated against without taking legal action (which can be quite costly and energy draining)?
To answer the question: "Are there any normal people out there anymore?" "Of course there are sweety. They're the ones being used, overlooked, bullied, and chased out of companies"
Though I'm still at my toxic job for the moment and DYING to leave, I will say one thing that helps me. I stopped talking to my toxic boss about my emotions, under any circumstances (he is a textbook narcissist). This keeps me safe from many of his emotional manipulations. He still hates me because I stand up to him, but he doesn't know what to do with me anymore, so he mostly leaves me alone now. --I so agree with you, too, Jennifer, that toxic workplaces can really wither away your confidence and affect your job search ability. It's so frustrating when you wake up in a good mood most days and come home from work just feeling pathetic, unmotivated, and exhausted. It's an uphill battle to stay at a place that does that to you. I can't do it much longer. I'd rather be broke.
I'm so sorry you're in it Freya. Try something small best time you wake up feeling great. Before you start work, either write down, do a voice note or take a video for yourself describing EXACTLY how you feel. Are you unstoppable, awesome, optimistic, happy. At the end write or say, "no matter what happened between this morning and this moment, this is my true self and my true potential." Then watch/listen/read after work. That message to yourself is going to be a shortcut to get back to it after work (or mid day if you need it). You've got this, friend.
A former assistant manager who was toxic and gossipy AF used to ask me why I didn't talk about myself or personal life at work. I told her the company didn't pay me to talk but paid me to work. Even she laughed. Never give them any info. Keep it polite, neutral and keep it moving.
My boundary for toxic coworkers is don't talk to me, unless it's work related. When they showed me who they are, I believed them. I want nothing to do with them.
Take people as outsiders. You will have to survive thrive. In this world when no one is with you help yourself be your best friend :) Be blessed hope it makes a difference.
For me, what I did is to keep my personal life, private. Because you will always seek comfort from your coworkers and you will only be disappointed because they're toxic.
Boundary setting is probably the best hint. Your personal life is absolutely none of your BPD manager's business. Whatever you extra information you give your BPD / NPD manager will get used against you
So true. I moved to a more affordable apartment and my boss told everyone the reason I was so stressed was becasue I was renting more than I could afford and it was causing me to be bitter. Even 6 months later when I quit, a few coworkers asked if it was because of my rent. Paying rent wasn't my problem, it was my manager
Every job I have had over the past 8 years had been toxic in one way or another…If you set boundaries, they cross them. Being told I am the problem for asking questions. Management will do nothing to remedy a bullying problem, you told you are being overly sensitive. I have had dread & anxiety about going into my job so much, that I would cry the entire weekend, then be throwing up Monday morning. This is not right or acceptable, yet I am told suck it up and deal with it! It is wrong and hurtful… know you are not alone, and hang in there as best you can until you can leave!!
No people should have rights to judge your emotions. I am on the hands of bully and psychopath and freak control bully. I report them to the management. They change more subtle way. Now, I set very tight boundaries. My boss ban one of them to approach me because her violent behaviour. She send few of her friends come. I told of them vert strictly and I said, I didnt feel comfortable you ever approach me or talk with me yet. If you need any "help" and go to ask another coworker. So it became better and they are not approach me anymore. But this group of bully will use a lot subtle ways to control u.
I am so with you. My husband always tells me that he is with me because of my sweet, sensitive, nature and that I wasn't bitchy like other girls. I try to stay true to my self but I make a lot of mistakes. I sort of take on my husband's persona to deal with people and it doesn't work for me. ( he is pretty confident)
@@vickywitton1008I get you! I’m the same way. My fiancé literally worries for me because I’m really nice and empathetic. He knows that people take advantage of that and they do. I left my prior job because it was such a negative place only to end up at another job with major problems to the point that I cry almost every day. My confidence has diminished so much in a very short amount of time.
One thing that bothers me is that a lot of people conflate office gossip with the essential venting and support we might need from a coworker or two to survive a toxic workplace. So many orgs will see you confiding in someone and you get labeled a troublemaker when in truth, you are just trying to get through the day without losing your mind.
Anyone else’s manager give them mad anxiety because they are scared their boss will find something to be mean to you about because he’s in a bad mood??
That reminds me of my toxic teacher who mistreats students severely. Always remember that they aren't as mighty as they believe they are, and remember that your dignity cannot be hurt by anyone, because you know they're wrong. Stay strong.
I actually had a very bad depressive episode this year and was on sick leave for a month. When I returned, I found that I was being treated differently. I am picked on and other members of the team are included in jokes etc, but not me. I feel as if they are trying to drive me off the edge instead of lending support. My anxiety and depression have returned and my blood pressure is through the roof.
I was like this for a few weeks , but now I just deal with it each day as it comes . So far it’s Wednesday and I got spoken to every day about something I did wrong. Oh well I will deal with it as it comes
Toxic work environment, get out of there friends, even if its not targeted at you it could be one day, don't support or be part of a toxic work environment.
the risk of toxicity is probably why i recommend keep applying even if you don't want a job. and even start taking interviews. and then leave when a better offer comes around. life is too short to deal with toxic employer/workplace. i didn't know how toxic my first corporate job was until i left. it wasn't the straightforward toxic it was the slow nagging that can become annoying. for example there were small almost negligible errors in a spreadsheet that if my intern brought to me, i would just fix them myself and let the intern know to fix next time. no my boss called me into meetings and made huge deal that would hurt self confidence. you can live with it but its annoying. sometimes you need another pair of eyes to look at your work.
You're totally right, life is way too short to say in a toxic workplace. And it can be so hard to spot when you're in one; cognitive dissonance comes into play.
@@sureyyaekinci4630 i think you replied to the wrong comment. i was the worker. i got penalized for tiny errors that someone else probably made. or even if i made them, i could fix them in like 2 seconds. they weren't big enough to be lectured on.
@@asadb1990 I’m dealing with this right now. I’m already overloaded so of course I miss things and then get lectured for missing a digit or getting a price wrong. There’s no one “safe” who checks it over; it goes straight to my boss and then to a copy editor
@@Window4503 yeah i feel for you. keep moving on to a new employer. its gonna be tough but there are plenty of employers that are much better. my current employer treats errors like this a with no issue. they warn me to be aware. but its never a lecture or annoyance. its "hey i noticed this error, can you fix it quick or its so small i will fix it while im working on it." and thats the end of it.
I swear, I'm at work 15 mins early everyday, to sit in my cat and watch these videos. It really helps me to get in the right frame of mind 😌. Thank you!
I'm struggling with how to put it into words: I'm working with very entitled yet incompetent, lazy and insincere people. Basically they pretend to be sickly sweet and nice when they want something from you but at the same time gossip and spread lies behind your back. It boils my blood and sickens me. Makes me feel alone and absolutely smothered. Their cunning tactics are on top of that called "being savvy". Advancing in your career past certain stage means becoming the shallowest of friends with people on higher posts and it angers me because I just can't do it. Even thinking about it feels like I'm about to throw up or cry. It bothers me that I will need to jump through hoops to qualify myself and expand my skills to maximum just to maybe someday even out the position these people claimed through connections. And then have to work with them even though they are absolutely underqualified to carry out the jobs they have.
Most workplaces are toxic... I work in one that the boss does not like conflict and panders to the office bully. When she is not around it is much more peaceful. He himself is self-absorbed and only cares to talk about himself and what he thinks and wants you to agree with him. People complain about each other to each other. I am consistently feeling on edge bc people come to me to complain and it drains the hit out of me. I am unsure of what exactly to say to make them stop. I need something fast and simple to say bc people have small attention spans. Could you please do a video on that, easy phrases to use with toxic coworkers/bosses.
If you walk away from a conversation with someone at work feeling totally confused (this is a big one) OR feeling way "lower" than them (less smart, less cultured, less sophisticated, less worthy, less important, less powerful, less capable, etc), ASSUME they're toxic and limit contact with them. It's more about going with how you feel than what you think, if you want to build a "radar" system for this junk. I say "junk" because people who use tactics to lower the esteem of someone or intentionally confuse them are literally garbage people. I don't care how much money they have, if they can't treat people right and see them as humans, they belong in a trash colony among their own type. 🙂
I am disliked/ hated at work for genuinely being myself becausr and that would be kind....most believe I am being "fake" ....too bad I am too good for them..... clearly they have never had a genuine person like me in their life.
Same problem I had. Nice people are viewed as weak and easy targets. A group of female co-workers started a smear campaign against me and my mental health got so bad I was thinking about committing suicide. I let the fear of losing my job control me. I finally woke up one day and decided that I wasn't going to fear anything. Changing my own perception brought incredible freedom.
Should I stay in a workplace wherein you feel heavy, and you feel that all the happiness had gone from the world every time you enter and stay in that office or department? It's like working with dementors every single dayyyy. Im just new to the job, and I can already see their true colors showing.
Crying so much right now while whatching This.I feel awfull. I was hired to work at a school in the admnistrative services. And the chief of the services doesn't give me work. Called me names. The coworkers are so mean. I don't know what to do. I can't quit.
Honestly at the end of the day I would’ve just quit the job cuz I can’t stand toxic people and the work environment wasn’t bad but the people there made it so horrible. So many of my co workers left cuz of how awful it was and I was one of the only few left. Good thing it’s just one job out of all and there are many work places that are nice and have kind workers and a good leading manager
I'm glad you're here my friend! With everything going on in the world, it's easy to be negative. But we can, at least most of the time, choose otherwise.
For me, I'm in my 2nd month of probation and I work as a receptionist. The toxic behaviour is not (yet at least) directed to me, but is around me. The managers know my coworker's attitude and yet they arent doing anything about it. That coworker is very loud, putting someone down when they make a mistake and just plainly bossy. Everyday it's like that. But I know, one day, it only takes time, that it will be directed to me.
Update: yup it has been directed to me now. In trying to learn how to stand up for myself without sounding proud and not getting fired...it's hard, but I'll just be here for a year or 9 months...hopefully I can last that long😭
I think the best way to escape a toxic workplace is to be referred by a friend who works in a healthy workplace so you can be hopefully employed under a good company.
It actually has rubbed off on me and I was guilty of joining in. In the beginning I started losing my hair, started having pain , very fatigued, depressed, anxious, paranoid etc. I’m order to fit in I had the if you can’t beat ‘em. Join em. I did the kill em with kindness, became a yes person. People were even asking me for money and I’d hand it over. Over that time they learned all my weaknesses and woke up one day with a major target on my back! Now I’m trying to change this whole thing. But I may have to leave
I’m reading all the comments and honestly it feels good to hear everyone’s perspective on this Since I’m in this phase Rightnow! There are few fake and manipulative individuals whom I can’t stand at all so I just stopped talking to em, it’s like they act as CEO’s assistant
Thank you SO MUCH for this! I discovered your channel just recently and I wish I would have found it earlier.. I am loving your content, SO SO HELPFUL!
I was fired yesterday because I stood up for myself. And I was abused badly by the office narcissist who gaslighted me right up the time I got called into the Doom Room. It was easier to get rid of me, the new girl than to discipline the Passive Aggressive on steroids woman who bragged daily about how the place would crumble and how irreplaceable she is.
I have passive aggressive team leader. I hate it, honestly. She treats me horribly but cover everything with false smile. Is hard to stand it. I am thinking now to change job because of her
The narcissist coworker probably abused and gaslighted everyone until she gained all the control, so that's why it would crumble because she abused her way into holding all the cards. People like that die alone and hated.
Thanks for the video. I found it refreshing this Friday morning after a slightly toxic workweek. Excellent tips for how to think about the toxic personality. That really helps adjust my mindset so I can stay a positive force for my team versus being dragged into a dark hole. As a manager, I have always made it a priority to NOT pass down any toxicity I receive directly. It's distressing to read all the comments and to see how many people experience the phenomenon.
My workplace is toxic and I also need my job as it pays very well. I’m open to finding a new job and actively searching however until then i’m SO GLAD I found this video! Incredibly helpful! Thank you.
I am super grateful for the tips I have gotten from this video. Being in a toxic work environment can corrode one's confidence. Indeed I am going to continue to apply all the tips fro this video. It's really helpful. You are awesome.
Thank you for these survival tips. I am working in a hospital program that takes 1 year to complete. I am half way through and I am trapped in a toxic environment. I like the boundaries tip a lot and I will try to implement them!
I've been with my company, a major corporation, 32 years and I just need to make it 3 more so I can get my pension in full. It's not easy, but too much to lose at this point if I don't find a way to stick it out. This company has become so toxic and the management is clueless. I'm one of the older people left now and the younger generation just isn't as competent and the company has lost its control of quality. It's a clown show everyday.
I just have to say You are so awesome And your content is so helpful And so fire 🔥 Thank you 🙏 I've got ADD I work really hard, often times I'm undermined, but I've built ways to cope and even use it as a strength, thanks for reminding me the truth about how it's not you , it's them.
There is no way of saving my career at the company I am at. I have learned a lot about myself being in a toxic environment, but it is hurting me health wise. I simply want to leave at this point. I have been saving all of my money and I have about 7 months of expenses. I know it’s not a lot so I am trying to save more just in case I have no choice but to leave. I’m hanging in there though.
Best course of action is to mind your own business stay out of the way of drama queens and work up the ladder of you can, then once you’re in a position of authority in the work force you can bring it up in meetings just a sweet reminder for all our colleagues that we practice respect kindness and gratitude to all as part of our organisations trust values to maintain high quality service delivery. All love and peace ❤😊
I am in this situation and telling them i am done tomorrow. I tired all this. When it was effecting me i ignored it but then it started interfering in my work and projects. I can ficus on completing my target when it is surrounded by drama
The “Energy Reset”. I don’t know why but, when I take a shower after a long workday I practice haikus (5,7,5). It’s like I start venting to myself about my day at some point.
It helps me laugh and empathize when I consider that the people who are loud, abrasive and rude are just letting their inner child drive, and they have no idea where the turn signals are or how to stop at the stop sign- they’re gonna bulldoze everything and hurt everyone around them as a result, because deep down they’re really scared and don’t have the tools or knowledge to “drive” better. I know they’re unhappy, and I know somewhere deep down they feel small and unloved. It doesn’t excuse their behavior but it lets me see I didn’t cause this- I wasn’t the one who made them act this way, and that helps.
Agreed, it's 1000% not my fault if I have coworkers who vape, drink, or smoke weed at work, who don't do their jobs properly, who show up an hour late to work, or who are lazy. It's my boss' problem. I just wish it didn't impact my life so much.
I use to alwaaaaays ruminate what i could have done, now at the end of the day i just say forget it forget it forget it or f*** it or whatever rocks your boat And it resets my mental pallette so i can be in another mood for whatever else on my agenda.. Physical strength replenish thru a nice shower
Many thanks for sharing the tips of dealing with narcissistic attacks. However, just yourself in the workplace environment where you have a narcissistic boss. Will these tips be different? Would you keep quiet when the narcissistic boss creates a scene in the open work environment that you are incompetent, only you know what they did to not only gas light you but also everyone around you. You know the truth but you can not say to protect yourself? I found around 60% of management have narcissistic tendency nowadays. If you could make videos about how to deal with them at work, it is much appreciated. Thank you.
At Goodwill there was some past supervisors that would tell me I was doing a good job those employees have long since gone... now it everyone is trying to get me to quit on my own...I always stressing about my job even on my days off.. sometimes it is hard to sleep at night.. mainly worried about my job is am I working fast enough to have job the next time I show up for work...I am working with on kidney.it dose take some time to keep up and at the same time I feel if I move faster I am end up hurting myself or running over and hurting others with a floor jack if I ran faster.just feeling no matter what I do I am not going to win .. still feeling like that kid that graduated high school way back in 1987
I work in one and feel stuck. Mine is a private company so a bit differant than a huge corp. I believe mine is this way because they can and were all disposable at the end of the day.😊
I was recently hired as a junior kindergarten teacher replacing my bosses close friend . I feel I can't do anything right . I'm misjudged and she thinks all I do has bad intentions . I get randomly accused of stuff and I never know what can be perceived as a wrong . Example I was told not to let kids play with something , told the kids she doesn't want us to play with this right now , I don't have an issue with them playing with the stuff . She accused me of making her into the bad guy. Not my intention at all ! I was appealing to kids empathy not trying to make anyone look bad .
Let's be honest and look at ourselves. We went to school, got one skill, one degree, one this, just one. So yeah you are trapped. Can't go left or right, one dimension. So yeah we get stuck in positions we dont wanna be in
Currently suffering from a toxic co-worker that yelled at me yesterday. I snapped back. So done with her behaviour. I have tried being nice but it does not help. The shitty thing is I am gonna transfer into a different position at my job, (hybrid job for now) but she is actively pushing me to seek something else. Thank you for this vid, it was insightful and helpful.
I am currently not appreciated at my job. My boss keep trying to stop me from taking vacation because he knows when I use it up I will quit. I will just leave no notice and wait until they are very busy to do it.
most of management at my workplace is toxic. picking and choosing who gets to advance, favoritism, Conflict of Interests relationships there left and right etc etc etc. its horrible. Im dying to leave but refuse to leave unless i leave with something to show for how long I've been with the company.
I'm the highest seniority part timer in my department. Been with the company for 11 years. I'm changing my availability to mornings. The full timers attacked me because we're already short handed and with me going to mornings will 'screw up everything' they're pretty much upset because full timers NEED to be available whenever. They will work them whatever shift the company schedules them and nothing they can do about it. So they're scared lol
