Transference In Therapy: Understanding "Falling In Love" With Your Therapist -part 1

Подписаться 68 тыс.

Просмотров 7 тыс.

50% 1

Do you know what the term transference means?
Transference describes an emotional and psychological process in which one individual begins to develop feelings for another person as a result of significant historical influences. For example, you may find yourself feeling emotionally close to your 75-year-old neighbor because she reminds you of your great-grandmother who passed away 3 years ago. You may find yourself wanting to buy things for her, help her in her garden, or treat her like you would your own grandmother.
The only difference between this 75-year-old woman and your grandmother is that this woman may be drastically different from your great grandmother but you fail to recognize that.
Because of this, you may find yourself disappointed once you truly get to know this 75-year-old woman. You may also find out that you don't actually like this woman after all and were deceived by your own feelings and voids.
This is transference. In this video, I discuss transference and prepare you for the next 2 videos on the topic.
For my new book (Kindle/Paperback) on Understanding and Helping Suicidal Adolescents, click here: www.amazon.com/Understanding-....
Twitter: / therapisttee
Website: anchoredinknowledge.com
International blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers
Song: Ikson - Let Go (Vlog No Copyright Music)
Music promoted by Vlog No Copyright Music.
Video Link: • Ikson - Let Go (Vlog N...
#transference #traumainformed

Опубликовано:

11 апр 2018

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 32

@davidengle3627 3 года назад

I am struggling with my therapist, female, having turned into a mother figure. In fact, in that small little room, she has turned into Mommy. She talks to me in a sweet, motherly voice. Makes me feel like I am five years old again. She also kind of scolded me a couple of sessions ago and my reaction was very childlike, left my session and went to the car to cry. Spent the next week pouting.

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 года назад

Thank you for sharing this David. A lot of people go through this in counseling. The therapist becomes idealized and fits into the mold of someone the client/patient loves or loved at one time. This results in a "false" emotional connection with the therapist and if the psychotherapist doesn't catch what is going on, things can become more complex and problematic for the client/patient. You're not healing this way. Treatment is stalled.

@billyd1436 3 года назад

There is a very fine line here. Yes, you could could be projecting your own mother/son relationship onto the situation... or she could also be failing to remain in a tone and attitude of neutrality. In other words, she is actually taking on the role of a mother which is inappropriate. It sounds like perhaps both of those dynamics are taking place here. If you are not comfortable talking about this with her, find another therapist. There are many out there, and you don't want to invest time into a bad relationship. Also... if you do talk to her and it doesn't change... same advice, find a new therapist.

@TherapistTamaraHill 6 лет назад

So what do you think about this topic? Could (or would) you date your therapist? Sadly for many patients going through this, the reality is that dating or marriage should never happen between patient and client. There is a power differential that makes the relationship very imbalanced. Love is powerful. But I encourage you to think about this in more depth. Is this really love? Is it lust? Is it the allure of the profession and the therapist with authority? For most people who experience transference, they later realize that they weren't in love with the therapist per se, but rather what the therapist represented for them. Let me know your thoughts!

@CC-yq6di 5 лет назад

Thank you for this, i would like to ask you a few question about this subject, and would appriciate it if you could answer. 1. why do the person experiencing the erotic transference pull stuff from their past? does it mean that the feelings a client is experiencing is actually not for the therapist but for a person from their past? 2. How do one get out of this erotic transference and deatach them self while stil in therapy?

@MonicaM820 4 года назад

Támara Hill, MS NCC CCTP LPC Thank you for taking the time to explain transference it really cleared things up. I was close on figuring this out for myself because I found myself wanting to know more about my therapist like on a date. I knew this was it 6 years of seeing him and he is a red head which I’m already attracted to as is, he happens to me around my age & I know at some point there was a counter transference but he must have dealt with it because he remains professional to this day. I’m at a stand still because now I lose sleep the night before our appointment. I can’t sleep!! I end up missing our appointments. I have to act now it’s been going on for too long now & I just want to keep getting better but now I can’t focus on what’s important. You’re so right regarding how hard it could be to change therapist especially after our 6 years. I’ve come a long way but I get anxious thinking of cutting ties with him.

@Butterflyyy1122 Год назад

This is so helpful, I understand everything now. Thank you

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

Glad it was helpful! You're welcome.

@nivikochoa8396 Год назад

I would love to see the 2nd half of this video

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

Not sure which one you saw but here is the series: 1. studio.ru-vid.comrj8YQCEMmPk/edit 2. studio.ru-vid.comRlZt0ZdbW9w/edit

@peachesandpoets 5 лет назад

Thanks for this

@TherapistTamaraHill 5 лет назад

You're welcome! Thanks for watching.

@peachesandpoets 5 лет назад

@@TherapistTamaraHill I'm suffering greatly from transference issues right now, maybe I'll watch a couple of times again and try to do better.

@TherapistTamaraHill 5 лет назад

I'm sorry. This is never easy. But more knowledge on this topic does help. You may like this: www.freudfile.org/psychoanalysis/transference.html. Tale care

@billyd1436 3 года назад

There may truth to some of this, in certain situations... but it does not account for actual human problems coming from the side of the therapist.. like abuse, incompetence etc. To simply put it all onto the client is itself abusive and casts the therapist into a bubble of objectivity as if he/she is not a participant in the drama. If a client is abused in therapy, and then goes on to seek counseling in another office.... according to this theory, the client's direct experience of abuse is relegated to a mere perception of abuse from another relationship, and the consequence of that to the client, is invalidation and even more abuse as the client reaches out for help.

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 года назад

Billy, your point sounds logical and it could be true in some situations. But the focus of this video is the client and the boundaries that must be set from that angle. This is not to say that therapist's are free from participation in this process. Some are. But some are not and it's important we make it clear that in cases of transference where the therapist is not a participant, this is an issue from the side of the client/patient. It would free the client of guilt if they could blame the therapist at all times for being a participant in the transference. But again, this isn't always the case and some therapists are swept up in the emotional drama of the client and must professionally address the issue so healing work can continue. In cases where the therapist is to blame, the client may need to move on to another provider or bring up the issue with the current therapist. It sounds like you either have given this a lot of thought or have been in a similar situation. We just have to be careful not to generalize and to appropriately account for other angles of this situation.

@ricashaye22 4 года назад

Great explanation!! Random question - what is the song used in your outro??

@TherapistTamaraHill 4 года назад

Thanks! These ancient videos needed a lot of help! Lol Song used: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-FDwn8ArAMZI.html

@vgcq02 5 лет назад

Can transference begin on the first day?

@TherapistTamaraHill 5 лет назад

Hi jfp05, Thanks for watching! I think transference can happen on the first day of meeting with a therapist. Transference, as discussed in the video, is the transferring of feelings from someone in your past to the current object/person. If that therapist reminds you of someone on the first day you meet him/her, transference can occur.

@JuniorWitter-vz4mh Год назад

Is it transference if they don't remind you of anyone but you are still attracted to them?

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

Yes. Absolutely. The mind and the brain draws connections between things, even if you don't actually remember a specific thing or person.

@JuniorWitter-vz4mh Год назад

@@TherapistTamaraHill thank you so much

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

You're welcome!

@whoami1654 2 года назад

I need help with this - I am attracted to my therapist and I keep having intimate dreams about her. I don't know how to approach it. I'm afraid I'll end up falling in love with her and wanting more and I feel really embarrassed and ashamed. Do I speak to her about it? I also know if I were to meet her as a not as a therapist I would be interested in getting to know her more and still find her physically attractive. So I know there is a genuine adult attraction there. And sometimes I get a feeling that there is a sexual chemistry in the room between us both.

@TherapistTamaraHill 2 года назад

See my reply in the other videos. Take care

@bernadettemalavarca8564 3 года назад

Don’t all human relationships involve transference?

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 года назад

Yes, very true. The sad and sometimes very frustrating part is that field regulation and rules prohibit transference that is acted upon.

@charlesthompson3364 4 года назад

I lost my docter to this about three years ago. I think the trafer did more harm then good. I cant stand this new dr that I been seeing or talking over the phone. I will do anything to go back to kick my self in the jaw. I will say this, I DONT blame my dr for what is she did, I understand the reason behind it.

@TherapistTamaraHill 4 года назад

This is really hard to acknowledge for some people because they feel they should be able to control their emotions. But the reality is that when psychology and emotions clash, it can be difficult to see clearly. Your therapist most likely did what was ethical and appropriate and it's great to hear you understand.

@charlesthompson3364 4 года назад

@@TherapistTamaraHill yea it stinks not having her now. We see each other in transit sometimes, say hi, how are you, nice see you again. I guess what hurts i still ashamed what I said and wants to be forgiven by her.