I think the power of God’s spirit inside of a human being can be transferred to another human being through compassionate touch and congruent voice tone and affect. I love that your client validated your instincts.
You make a good point Joe. I also think it depends on the age of the person too. I would certainly hug an elderly person, a baby, or a young child. Sometimes a teen if they initiate. It's tricky and requires the therapist be wise.
Yeah Screw codes and rules. Hugging might be even more helpful than the whole session. I feel the urge and utter need to hug my psychologist (counselor) , I know it would never be sexualized, or miss understood, it will be so helpful and supportive. It is how humans evolved ..we literally need touching and hugging.
@Karam I don't disagree, as I said. But let me clarify... The ethics codes are there to protect and guide healthy therapy. Without them anything goes!! And I mean anything!! So they ARE important. But they are certainly too rigid. And they get in the way of humans having human experience.
@@TherapistTamaraHill yes, while I'm not an expert on the matter and in general it could be beneficial to have some rules on this, but what I simply think is that good therapists will not violate the ethics of this profession without the need of these rules. So having them too rigid here will be like a scarecrow for these therapists to lose their license or so, and thus, yeah , it will prevent having a more human experience, even though if it was just a purely human , and a needed kind gesture.
I always hate when people use the sex card with hugging in therapy, either you hug everyone (even if it is only in certain circumstances and not all the time) or you hug nobody,
I can see your point! I think too much is read into hugging in therapy. My kiddos hug me all the time! Sometimes the parents do as well. But I will say, I do take wise steps when it comes to men and teen boys. I just don't initiate hugs or touch with them under certain circumstances. It is what it is, although I don't always agree.
Hiii, I love this video! I'm from Brazil and here we hug a lot as your cultural - even people that we don't know or meet once LOL. So, in general, here in my country, it depends of you and your therapist relationship. For me in personal if I'm crying so bad talking about something hard, like my suicidal plans, please hug me to make me feel loved, safe and calm down. It maybe sounds like a little child? Yes, but it works for me. So I ask her to hug me. I believe that hugs can heal!
I have a crash on my Tberapist. I went from hating her to liking her. Now every time I think of her I have butterflies. Is this normal behavior? I’m so confused about my emotions. Yesterday I met her for the first time in person in her office and it was so awkward and weird for me. I always see her on zoom.
This sounds like transference. Check out my video on this topic if you haven't already. There isn't a lot of information online about this topic, sadly. But my video aims to uncover the taboo elements of this experience. It's important to examine your heart and ask if you are truly attracted or feeling that way due to something else such as loneliness, a desire to be loved or cared for, a memory of someone you once loved/liked who she reminds you of, etc. There are many reasons why this is happening. It's also important to also ask yourself if your therapist's boundaries are appropriate or if she is fostering this attraction in you by initiating things. You have to be careful here, however, because an attraction could make you think you are seeing things you are not. Lastly, I would bring it up to her. It's therapeutic knowledge that can help you grow and learn more about how you interact in relationships. Letting your therapist help you navigate this could open up the doors to healing.
At my I believe fourth appointment there was this moment when my therapist had to tell an adult about my depression because she could not bear the responsibility alone. She seemed worried how I would react (I am sixteen) and in the end of the session she promised me that she wouldn't tell them about my self harm. So we usually shake hands in the beginning and in the end but this time we looked at each other and she just knew I would need a hug but wasn't totally comfortable and she just kind of touched my arm and smiled and I said thank you for that promise and left. Before that moment I never knew how great physical touch can be and it really helped me in some kind of way. I also think it's awesome when a therapist knows if you need it or not. I feel like she might actually help me and this Thursday I will figure out if I can get into cbt with her. I also find it very interesting to see the differences in each country (I live in Germany). Thank you for this video I was really interested in this question.
Hi Lara, Thanks for watching and commenting all the way from Germany!! It sounds to me as if you have a therapist who either isn't sure if you would receive her physical touch (a hug) or who is uncertain about this topic herself. A lot of therapists are uncertain about the boundary and how to manage these kind of moments where a hug is needed. I think therapists over-think a lot of times and forget that we are all human in need of compassion and sometimes that compassion is conveyed through a hug. When you're not sure, err on the side of caution. That sounds like your therapist. Sounds like you really like her! All the best on you counseling journey.
Támara Hill, LPC thank you so much for answering. Yes, I really like her. I am dealing with this since I was twelve years old now and never talked to anyone about it. It is such a relief to finally reach out and talk through it. I feel connected to her somehow and even though I am really afraid of changes she gives me hope to recover and I get to smile again. I really think that therapy can help me and I am more than ready to take this step after all those years. I hope others will do so too and it took me 5 years to understand that it’s okay not to be okay and that I need to take the step by myself. It makes me sad that there are so many others like me that were ashamed to get help. I am just glad that people start to talk more about mental health and I feel understood through videos like this about it.
honestly, after making me go thru some tough memories and sobbing it would be nice to get a hug. my therapist was okay with it, but the office wasnt it. for our last session, we did a coloring book. if we need 6 hugs a day to be healthy and someone barely gets any hugs because of losing that support if not my therapist/psych, do i ask my regular doctor for one? thank you for this video!
I totally get where you are coming from. Being a child and family therapist, I can say that hugs are a healthy part of treatment. One of my 8 year old clients and his step-mom hugged me after not seeing me for 4 years. I welcomed that! But...some clients lack boundaries, get too attached, replace their family with the therapist, or feels entitled to a certain level of care and sacrifice because of that hug. So it's a tough line to walk! Not all therapists know how to manage this.
I have transference with my male therapist. 1. I have PTSD from my late husband. 2. My therapist is extremely attractive. He has stellar boundaries, so touch has never and will never happen. Transference can also happen with same sex. Touch can be derived for the client in the real world. It's not appropriate.
I'm sure your therapist knows you are attracted to him. It does take a lot of good and healthy boundaries for a therapist to manage this kind of situation. Understanding that the client in front of them is experiencing a host of emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that can create deep needs, desire, and wants is a major job for the therapist to keep in mind. Once the therapy becomes an opportunity for the client to "see" and "be around" the therapist and real clinical work isn't happening, transference has taken over. Hopefully he is a great therapist who can manage this and, if need be, refer to someone else to help you continue your healing/growth. Sounds like he is a good therapist.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Yes. He is the best therapist I've ever had and I've had many. He is also the last therapist I'll ever have, as I am doing EMDR trauma therapy with him. I read him an essay last week that I wrote telling him the reason why I can't concentrate in sessions is because I'm attracted to him. He said that's what he had thought and he handled it with grace and dignity. Before that, I told him maybe I needed a female therapist to help with transference. But as the week went by, I emailed him to put it on hold and that I was ready to talk. I told him that he made me feel safe and that I didn't need a female therapist for me to tell him how I felt. He is trained enough that we can deal with this together. We make a great team. Thank you for your response and for your kind words and understanding.
I wanted to hug mine after the first EMDR-session because I never felt so safe with this subject before. Cried the whole session and I'm not someone who shows emotions easily. I didn't do it, because I thought it might be a little weird and didn't dare to ask it either. I'm a female and 28 years old, my therapist is also female. Subject was sexual trauma. Really needed one but just didn't dare to ask for it.
I totally get that! And I think, if the therapist has proper boundaries and is comfortable with it, a hug is appropriate. It can mean a lot of different things to both of you, but still, it can be therapeutic after such difficult work is done.
Hi Tamara, I am on my 5th session with my Counselor. So far everything is fine. She's helping me to recover from depression. On our last session I discussed with her about transference. And I told her that I am getting attached on her which is helping my therapy. On my next session is ok if I will tell her that I developed a crush on her? And last question is it's ok if I will request a comfort hug from her?
What are some questions you may have had about your therapist that you would like answered? I often tell my clients that there are no black and white answers or questions in psychotherapy. There is always gray.
My therapist touched my leg once and I freaked 😂 I have autism and had already told her that I hate anyone touching me. I think it was just a natural reaction for her in response to something. I'm sure she noticed me pull away but never addressed it, I felt so awkward. She never touched me again haha.
Noooooo hugs off therapist as I won’t let go as that is my core nurture I want one off my dead mum and dying dad both had issues and never showed me anything I begged ir all my life now 52 and I realise I just don’t get one off the vessels I used to get onto earth so it sounds creepy but I know that my empath indigo crystal qualitys and this lady talking my inner child is getting comfortable and my ego vex. As it so. Normal it abnormal to feel calm and safe and secure this is the beginning of my truth buckle up going to be a bumpy ride god is all knowing seeing hearing and I am 🙏🏾
Thanks for your comment. You can disagree but that doesn't mean it's correct. I I try to send the message in my videos lately that characteristics change depending on the person and not every psychopathic mother is the same. No two people are the same so when considering characteristics it's best to keep that in mind. Individuals are humans and they don't always fit the script 100%. One may be perfectionist and the other may be a mess.
I really enjoyed this video. Maybe you could make a video about finding a therapist that best suits you? So you mentioned hugging and physical touch but there are other values people have like religious beliefs for example. Maybe some people feel more comfortable talking to a female etc.
Thanks so much for watching Kishaun! I'm glad you found the video helpful. I definitely will answer your question in a video this week. This is a great question for what we're talking about right now which is trauma-informed counseling as well as psychological and emotional trauma. I think, as you stated, it's important to talk about finding a good therapist and some of the things that you should look for.
Not all of them! I don't just want your money. I would like to get to know you, learn you, and then possibly support you. If you find a good therapist not looking for profit (beyond what's normal to keep the doors open), you hit the jackpot.
