Transitioning While Fat | Fat FTM 

THANK YOU. It was a pain in the butt to find another trans guy with a similar body type. I wanna know what I'm getting into for when I try to start testosterone this year.

You and I are on the same boat dude. I'm a overweight trans masc and my dysphoria just worsens because I'm overweight and it sucks

I am in almost the exact same boat. I'm recently out, I'm 340lbs, and my chest isn't small. And I'm so so happy to see someone my size in the community. Its not a widely talked about thing, and its frustrating sometimes. I wish there was a group or something for us so we don't feel so left out.

I appreciate you talking about this as another fat transmasc. Thank you so much for sharing.

I absolutely love that I found your channel. I’m struggling so hard with feeling invalidated because most of the representation I’ve seen is just moderate to thin trans men.

oh my god ive been struggling with all of these things for so long, especially the part about "masculinizing faces" and the angular makeup. i go on here looking for passing tips ALL THE TIME and the videos are always tailored to skinny people/just generally dont work for fat people, but this video made me feel so seen and understood. thank you so much

Keep putting yourself out there... The community needs you. Thank you for being you!

lately i’ve found that jogger types of pants work WONDERS as a fat trans man temporarily. i’ve never worn sweatpants my entire life because i’ve felt they make my hips look large, but lately found that letting loose and wearing joggers really flatten my hips and thighs while still having pants fit above my stomach (i 100% agree i don’t understand why cis men wear pants under their bellies??? it doesn’t help at all). also having the cinch at the ankle removes the fat ankle look. another item i’ve found work wonders is a good muscle shirt. you can even take old t shirts and cut the sleeves off ! when you get a large unisex muscle shirt it squares the shoulders and i find helps hide my curves. i also find that after squaring out my shoulders, my flabby arms (i’m around 250lb) look more muscular rather than JUST fat. another plus is showing off my underarm hair !!! i find it helps me feel more comfortable 110%. my favorite one right now is a tie dye tank top from SHEIN, the shirt came with shoulder pads for some odd reason but i just took them out with a trusty seam ripper! i’m sorry that i don’t have much advice about binding- while i’m fat, i only have c cups so for me, the dysphoria comes from the weird proportioning around my mid section when i bind. in general i find that sleeveless layers are super helpful, like a denim vest or sleeveless hoodie to hide the sides. i hope you can find some way to safely alleviate your chest dysphoria soon 💛

I wish there was a binder specifically for plus size people to redistribute the tissue to a more masculine shape, not necessarily flat, bc cis men don’t have a flat chest. My solution for now is trans tape and sometimes a looser binder over top

I feel so seen right now. I had to stop wearing my binder recently because I was starting to feel immense pain (E). It's one of the many things that make it harder for bigger transmasc people, when there is such a lack of representation and talks about us. I used to try and look for tips on here, but eventually stopped because it was all geared towards skinny people. Or even those of medium size but lacked robust busts.

thanks man, it sucks a lot being over weight and trans since we aren’t talked about much so this was nice!

thank you so much for making this video. As a fat trans man i was feeling discouraged not seeing anyone who looked like me talking about being trans.

Thank you! This is something I needed. I get seen and understand. This has inspired me to think about sharing my story for others. ❤️

You're awesome! Thank you so much for sharing and talking about weight and transness and how these interact! Your voice is invaluable in our community ❤️

This is so relatable. Thank you for this video!

Oh my gosh, thank you for mentioning the "where the pants sit" thing! It makes me so dysphoric, but my hips are dummy thicc and my pants just sit better higher up. But that's not """where you wear pants""" in my brain!

ALL of this. Ugh. You left no stone unturned of all the bs we face not being average weight trans folks. I’m nonbinary and still want top surgery. I found myself seriously debating weight loss surgery just to get top surgery sooner. Which…would create more problems than it’s worth but the frustration and dysphoria can be so heavy.

i know this is an old video, but i just came across it now that i realized transitioning is something i need to pursue. you are amazing! i feel heard as a fat trans man and i also giggle at some of the things you said. i hope youre doing well, thank you for making this video

ive been on t for a year and some change and watching your video literally made me try putting my pants under my belly fold. it didn't work but I tried having it below my belly button, then I tried putting it at my belly button why sitting down and it felt comfy. also I hate the 'just exercise and you'll be skinny!!" like... I ate 140 calories a day and got down to 180 pounds. I'm 260 now. Im depressed being how big I am, and knowing that there is no representation of fat trans men

12:02 “It’s uncomfortable and no it doesn’t help me pass” MY FUCKING MOTTO

Bro story of my life right here, I feel like quasimodo most of the time because I never see big guys like us. I never know how stuff is gonna look on me because I'm big. Thanks for the affirming content man

this video came back up on my reccomended and it is still so helpful 😭 big brother vibes

Just stumbled upon this video and can't wait to check out the rest of your channel. I'm an afab nonbinary person who is masc leaning. I am tall for an average American woman and also plus sized. The hip/leg proportions I have make finding pants an absolute nightmare. I know this video is 2 years old, so I hope you are in a much better place than you were when you made this. Thanks again!

I just came out as trans and finding you has been freaking amazing!!! I’m watching all these videos with these thin built guys, like that’s not what I need. Lol. These hips don’t pass brother. Lol.

Thank you. I’ve been feeling super horrible about being a fat trans man recently and I haven’t been able to explain it fully to my friends and how much it bothers me but this helps a lot.

Yup. All of your exasperation is well felt here. I just tried a binder for the first time this weekend and it was not worth it.

Commenting again to respond to what you said about feeling good in your body. I have a few thoughts. 1. Look at role models of people who are large and AWESOME. Lizzo is the BOMB in this regard. I also look to gay Bears as role models for loving the body that I'm in. Some of those guys just really embrace their size and their whole selves, and there are men who love them to bits. And, who has not seen a big teddy bear of a straight man with a woman who loves how snuggly and great he is? 2. On the exercise front, don't worry about doing what other people tell you that you *should* do for exercise. Find things where you are moving that don't cause you undue pain and that make you feel good. Can you walk up and down a flight of stairs a couple of times every day? Can you do it more times after a few days? Can you take a 5 minute walk, then go up to 10 minutes, etc? These days I have good days and bad. On a bad day it hurts TOO MUCH to walk more than a couple of blocks, and on a good day I can walk for miles. I try not to walk too much on my good days so that I won't trigger a bad day, and I don't berate myself on the bad days. But I do the little things I can do. Maybe walking or stairs aren't the thing for you. Maybe it's dancing to music you like. Maybe it's playing on a playground structure when there are no kids at the park. Roller skating is fun if and some people with fibro find they can do it with minimal/no pain. Find a few things you like, and do them to your ability. Finally, on the top surgery thing... I noticed that Dr. Stiller at Stiller Aesthetics has pictures of large men in his top surgery gallery, and he's where my doctor has sent my referral, though I haven't had my consult yet. Also, I think we need to remind docs who WON'T do the surgery, that if we had breast cancer they would definitely do the mastectomy. It's not that they can't. They CAN.

ik what you mean about binders- esp when from the back it's painfully obvious. and the chiseled jaw 😭 personally i think it's cool for drag, a lot of fat drag artists do it, but it definitely looks super... drag king. great vid man, subbed :+)

I’m a plus size trans guy and I’m having issues passing or feeling comfortable, boobs are an issue but the biggest problem is my belly, I’ve already had kids and it feels like no matter what styles I try I constantly have a “mommy thic shape” it’s a struggle but I’m still trying to find tips and tricks

Just found this and oh my god you have helped me so much - im only just starting my transition to male and as a plus sized person i now feel less alone x

Being overweight since I was a child, wasn't been too difficult but yeah, a lot of health issues though. I recently transitioned. I am grateful for my breasts not to be huge, it's rarely there. I can easily bind. But I still get dysphoria. Especially with my thighs and hips. So, all of these issues have motivated me to lose the weight. I used to be 260lbs and now I'm 227lbs. I really want to lose more. I've been working out a lot and been eating a lot better (no fastfood at all). It's been lowering my dyphoria a lot. Thanks for sharing. Not a whole lot of big trans guys talk or be open about their transition (probably because it's embarrassing and it's hard to do).

thank you for making this video. its the first time in my life I've heard another transman talk about the exact things I've been experiencing my whole life. that no matter how I dress and how hard I try people will always see me as a woman. I get clothes (both male and female) in big sizes on Shein.

I am queer but not necessarily genderqueer, at least rn I do identify as a cis(ish) woman and a fat one at that. I have been wanting to try out binding for the longest time bc most clothes I wear are 'men's clothes' and the cuts never fit me right. I just got my first gc2b binders in the right size (4XL) according to my measurements and I absolutely hated it. I only tried it out for aesthetic purposes but it made me feel so bad about my chest, if might have actually given me disphoria. Hearing someone else talk about the specific issues that come with being fat and gender non conforming, or trans in your case, is SO refreshing. Every single time I have tried to look up advice on how to make me feel more comfortable in presenting masc, it is always coming from skinny people and, however well intentioned or helpful for others, it simply does not apply. The pants issue was another one I really relate to. So, thank you for sharing!

thank you for this, i feel so less alone

I am having the same struggle about where to wear my pants! I've been on T 1.5 years and my hips have shrunk significantly, and now none of my pants fit, but I can't decide where to belt them. I also have a big, round, soft face! Thanks for talking about it!

im overweight with a huge chest - im almost 6 months on T now and im glad i stumbled upon your vid :’)

I enjoyed your video. I can relate . Being a big person it's hard to find clothes my size.

Good on you for making this video. I am actually thinking of making videos myself on my weight loss while transitioning. What helped me was definitely starting T. I would not be here if it wasn't for transitioning.

This video hit so close to home. I also have H cups (or I), have a hard time exercising because of health conditions and have gone on multiple crash diets , which made me gain even more weight than what i started at. I feel like my body is actively working against me lol

Great video. Love your hair :)

PCOS prevents weight loss. That’s why I’m overweight.

Thank you for this video

I LOVE YOU ALREADY Thank you so much for sharing your story, as much as I love seeing these average, skinny, fit, whatever you want transitioning to be their truer self, it really sucks never seeing anyone who looks like me. Now just to find a fat short transman who is genetically meant to be petite like bone structure and things. I always think I’m alone in this journey. I’m overweight and am VERY short (5’) so try imagining that, legit clothes suck completely especially since I am meant to me petite. Along with the money thing, Finding clothes that fit me I feel is just as difficult as it is finding for other who are ‘fat’ like why are clothes so expensive, I cannot even find a button up that fit because I have small shoulders but a big chest and mid-section. If things were cheaper I would feel much better buying clothes that don’t fit. I mean especially when people tell me to get things tailored I’m just like do you think Im made of money?? Im starting college this year I have like no money in my fricken account!!!!

im not a overweight trans man, but non binary. i am so happy to finally see some diversity in the trans community. i´m sad to be only seeing skinny white trans men. Let there be diversity. we are many! Also I love the way you phrase your sentences.

I appreciate you and this video so much as a fat AFAB trans non-binary person

Honestly the only thing that worked for me was the carnivore diet and i day this as i started to feel better before even losing a lot if weight. The problem is, besides the food being expensive as hell, it's very difficult in our society to stick to. We're a high grain society. It's everywhere along with sugar. But I've tried everything from vegan to weight watchers. It's been the best one except sticking to it through temptation and finances. The energy helps it did give me energy and less pain regardless of weight loss. I just thought I'd share, it's uo to you if you or anyone else wants to give it a try. There's doctors on RU-vid that offer tips if you want to look. Hopefully it helps someone else out there. But continue to try other things because there's definitely no one size fits all in life. Thank you for your video. Shared.

I feel like clothes help if you pick different colors a little, it's still probably noticable but dark colors help or neutral even though they're less fun. I'm trying to just pass more and then be more fun, I'm sorry about the systemic treatment for your weight, you deserve more. Also a tip I like is no pockets or low pockets on the thigh can make your legs look less curvy and more strat by less bulk around the Hip and some lower on the thigh, takes away focus too.

Thank you very much.

In answer to a question you had: when I presented as male, both before and after losing 100 pounds, my waistline, the narrowest point in my torso, was always lower, in the typical male position. Only after 1 year of HRT did my waist line move up to a more typical, higher, female position. Finally dresses were fitting properly. Many of us experience complications in our transitions; I'm disabled and partially paralyzed, but needed to transition to live. Subscribed! I will look at some newer videos on your channel as I am very interested in your progress. 🏳‍⚧💛🧡❤

(Trigger warning dysphoria) For the top I have had some success with ToboyX’s binder. It’s not uncomfortable for me either. I pull them out to the sides (graphic sorry) so that most of the boob looks more like dog ears and the front looks flatter with more of a man boob experience. I kind of roll under and out to the sides once I get the binder on and then I do have to adjust in the bathroom once in a while if things shift. I became strictly a boxer briefs man for the chub rub. I pack larger so the bulge is “normal” looking for my size. I use Axalom packers because those are very realistic in price and feel and appearance is phenomenal. I know it’s not pretty, but I wear my pants under my fat roll on my stomach. I wear vests to hid the “dog ears”. Don’t try taping. Waste of money. Wearing my pants under my belly, did not work before fat distribution (just saying… you’ll need a belt or suspenders to do it prior). The chiseled jaw often comes in with the cartilage changes after 2 or 3 years on T because it Also makes the face wider which compensates some for the round cheeks. It’s not helpful now and that’s an excellent point. If facial hair could help you and is desired, treat your face with 5% minoxidil twice a day. Don’t skip or miss doses. Watch your blood pressure though if you have high blood pressure and on T because T also raises blood pressure. But this gave me facial hair and jawline can be mimicked by the way you cut your facial hair. I saw facial hair by the end of the first two months. Six months in and it’s pretty good which gives me hope that it will be very good is six. Everyone is different. I have no idea if this would help you or anyone. I just know what’s helped ma and though maybe it could.

My therapist is like oh change your statements to instead of “I can’t” or “it won’t” or “it isn’t” etc try saying you know when. When I will. When I do. Imagine your goals and put it into the universe that you’ll reach them!!! 🥰🥰🥰 Yeah fuckin alright what’s that do for me NOW??? I feel you there. What do I do RIGHT NOW to feel better? Also let’s talk about mens pants bigger waist size longer legs?? Sucks when you’re short. And with a bigger chest you have to buy bigger shirts and then your frame fucking disappears and you look even heavier than you are. MENS SHIRTS ON A SHORT AFAB BE LIKE DRESSES. I’m not here to vent, you just got me going cause I feel you. Being trans and being big fucking blows. I’m so glad to have come across this video, to come across you, and bet I’ll be subbing. We need more representation. We need group therapy. 🤣 Thanks for showing up. Much, much needed content. 💛

I've been meaning to do a video where I show what I look like with a bra on and then what I look like with a binder on. There is LITERALLY nothing I can do to make myself look flat. However, I have found that if I add an open button up shirt over top, it helps a little. I don't exactly pass, but it increases the number of times I get "sir, I mean ma'am"d in public as opposed to just "ma'am"d. Also, I'm also on DepoProvera because of non-birth control medical reasons, and the progesterone has made my breast tissue MORE dense. Your video has also made me think that I should go through my wardrobe and share where I've found things and what sizes I'm wearing. I'm a bit over 6 months on T.

i feel your binding struggles. I dont have the issue quite as much with double Ds, but if Im not wearing 3 layers of clothing on my upper body over the binder it looks like im wearing a sports bra.

I'm a fat person who would like to transition MTF but I just can't find anyone who does and that scares me a lot anyway thank you for sharing your experience ❤

I went an seen the surgeon last week and was told my BMI was too high I was at 47 and he said I need to get down to 40 BMI drop 50 pounds before he even considers to do top surgery. I'm 5'2 in height. I fell into a Depression like 2 days due to being on T almost 7 years waiting to get top surgery but now I'm on my weight lost journey. Hoping to drop as much weight as fast as I can so I can have surgery in November December this year.

thanks for that video :)

I feel so bad laughing at some of these things, but just saying I’m laughing out of sadness and relatability to you, esp about the loosing weight thing

Hey, same here, I'm going through the changes.

Thank you for your video. I have G-cup boobs, and it really helped me to know that I'm not the only one who feels that binding is just not worth it. I've felt like if I don't bind, it means my distress about my chest isn't as real as other people's. The effect of looking like a slightly less busty woman isn't worth the discomfort, though, especially because I have sensory sensitivities to my clothes already.

I am in the same boat. I have been openly out and looking for a therapist to help with diagnosing gender dysphoria. For many years, I weighed over 300 pounds. I got down to 170. I'm at 230 right now. Hoping this doesn't hinder my transition too much.

the binder bump is horrible lmao i have to layer so much in order to hide anything, and at that point, i just look like a walking laundry basket. i don’t pass at all and summer is hell

For makeup, it is just lack of inclusivity. I think doing your eye brows would be helpful a little though? Slightly darker and closer to the nose bridge, yours already go to the frame of your face. There are videos on finding a fitting eye brow shape and it's a big indicator to other people. You deserve to feel happy and comfortable.

Ima fat ftm and I have B/C cups so it’s nice but I have “watermelon hips” even when I was a child so I can’t pass without surgery

I have played around with creating fake stubble. I have mixed black sand into liquid latex (then covered with foundation) and just into foundation makeup. The liquid latex has more staying power, but the edges are more visible and take some practice to get right. But the foundation doesn't hold the sand as long. I have also heard to shave your peach fuzz to get rid of the soft look on the jaw, even on a soft jaw. Wearing a mask right now can cover your whole bottom half of your face if you get the right one, so that's irrelevant, though. I'd focus contouring on the brow ridge and thickening/darkening eyebrows. Fat men are going to have softer jawlines, but the brow ridge is still going to be (in general) heavier, and a heavier ridge can give a more masculine look. I'm still learning the techniques, myself, but this is what I'll be focusing on for myself. :)

Perhaps mindset and self love should be adderssed first, via counseling. Our mental health is just as important as physical health. Praying you find answers you need. 🤗❤ Hang in there, don't give up.

I have extremely dense tissue and 40DDD/G. I don’t bind that often cus it feels like it doesn’t work much. But I’m so dysphoric about everything that if there’s any way to help in the slightest imma do it Thank you for this video. I’m pre t and only recently have come to terms with my gender in the last couple months. I’m plus size and already have struggled with an ed for half my life and I recently realized this is a big contributor to my ed. Anyway. Representation is so important as a brown fat trans man i appreciate this And I too hate capitalism lmao

I'm struggling with dysphoria with genuinely everything about myself and I feel bad any time I'm jealous of my trans friends because they're skinny and pass really well. it makes me feel like less of a man when they can wear anything they want while still looking masculine and when I try I can't find anything that fits especially when I'm in the emo community, its like in order to look good and be an emo trans man I have to be skinny(especially bc of my soft jawline). it makes me even sadder when they can buy anything they want and it fits them, then when I go online or in-store looking for this style I enjoy I can't find anything that goes past my thighs. I love my friends dearly I just wish they would understand that saying im "handsome no matter what" doesn't change the fact im still never going to be comfortable in my body as a trans man because nothing I like fits. I wish that the world never cared about body types because that would make LITERALLY EVERY ONE LESS INSICUREEEEEE. rant aside I loved this video and it genuinely made me cry because I don't see much representation for big ftm's

thanks for this vid

Love your video. Thank you for sharing. The western medical view of obesity is shit and there needs to be a paradigm shift. I am transitioning... finally on T (since August)... been obese most of my life... since puberty at least... addicted to sugar. I'm in no way perfect with my metabolic health... I've got some heart health issues and was looking into more lifestyle changes.... had a lightbulb moment when looking into Dr. Jason Fung's RU-vid channel and his book The Obesity Code. I have no affiliation with him or anything, just was nice to get real information about how obesity and inflammation is all about insulin, not eating less and moving more. Lower insulin and you'll lower inflammation, which can help with joint pain and other chronic conditions. Tame the insulin beast and it can help tame the hunger beast. Again, I have so much respect for you and your journey. Hoping you and everyone following you the best. Will be diving into more of your videos soon. Thanks for keeping it authentic.

I'm not very over weight but I love you I hope I hear from you more, this is important and I do wish there were more things about the trans experience that were talked about, some of which I experience. Chest is an issue for me though, size 36 E. Have you tried rearranging your chest? Mine look the best pulled strait down and a bit to the side but it's different for different shapes. Going on t also deflated mine and that helped drastically, maybe that will help if you want to go on it. I wasn't expecting it not to do any thing but they got kind of... Loose.

I relate to this video so much, I'm trying to diet and loose weight and exercise but it's so hard. I don't like my body shape

I never tried to bind. I was very large chested and was worried about going for top surgery. Will they even do it or will the surgeon tell me to lose weight first. He didn't and it turned out good. Only downside is he couldn't get rid of all the stretched skin so it looks a bit different.

For what it’s worth, I saw your face and was like ‘yes, this is a man’, and I’m fairly certain if I met you out in public I would still think that- it’s more about how you carry yourself and speak (to me- obviously that doesn’t help the dysphoria, but it’s still true)

The title cracked me up! lol!

Swimming is a great way to exercise when you have joint pain. I was most fit when I was swimming every day but I was also eating terribly because you parents were neglecting me back then. Anyway yeah, swimming works.

12:00 As a trans woman, it always bothered me to wear pants under my stomach and i always wished i could wear higher waisted jeans n stuff. I’m guessing most men’s inseams arent cut low enough to have room (down there) to wear them high-waisted imo but idk 🤷‍♀️

Need an assist. I gotta go to my brother's wedding this summer and I've never bound around family, but I don't want pictures that are going to be in the family for years to not be of the real me. The problem is I'm far and have huge swinging bazongas and wide hips. Dress code is dress pants, shirt + tie with a waistcoat. Does anyone have advice for finding clothes that fit without making my silhouette too feminine? I can't afford custom tailoring so? Idk what to do. My grandma is pressuring me to wear a dress idk.

Yo the binding struggle :( Also if it helps, my chest got a lot less dense after being on T which did help

I'm crying because I'm dealing with these srtuggles of my binders rn!!, Because of my chest, when I was in my early teens I used to double bind :( :(

this made me feel so seen! thankyou so much for that!🏳‍⚧🩷

Can you find an STP that actually works for us that isn’t the p-style (which works, but doesn’t alleviate dysphoria very much). NOTHING WORKS for me. I think it’s anatomy.

I've thought about using TransTape AND a binder, for a while.. I bought a binder for bigger chest and I'm still waiting for it, so I don't know what's the results would be. I know that I can pass, because it happened one time, actually-.. X'D But, yeah, it's POSSIBLE, so I really want to reach this again. I don't think it will be hurtfull? Actually, I'm not sure of this ''trick'' but maybe it can help

I’m 310 i have endocrine disorders and other things so it’s super hard to lose weight I didn’t even think oh shoot my weight plays a factor in top surgery

I definitely understand understand I may not have as much weight as you do but it's hard for me to bomb for me to bind and foreclose to fit me as well I have maybe one tip for binding I don't know if it will work for you but but maybe if you can wear AA black hoodie that my that might help with the size of your body weight and maybe hide your chest a little bit it and as far as the pants go oh if you wear a certain top of underwear like underwear like boxers perhaps they may help you keep your legs from rubbing against the pants that you buy

I am wanting to start testosterone very soon. I am overweight and also a little older.

There is a part in my other message that said bomb bomb but I meant bind stupid correct spell

What about trans tape and using the method in Beau's video?

Dude, it's unhealthy to be that big. Some people have medical conditions that cause weight gain. I'm sure they don't want to be fat. But fat acceptance is a freaking death sentence and not something to be proud of. I was overweight for a time when I was younger. I was 178 lbs and I got down 127 lbs, so if I can do it anyone can. Just don't give up. There are plenty of options for you.

How long have you been on Testosterone?

For me I can’t bind because I have asthma and it also hurts for me no matter the size so I’m going to try tape

Is Burlington near year

Ohhh about the countourinf I've noticed that it doesn't work for me also, and I've noticed that the countoring could be basically based on how shadows of a canonically beautiful man fall in like, pro light (?) idk, like magazine light? Haha so like i feel like to nake it work i just need to observe how the shadows fall in a cis man's face that kinda looks like mine and copy it, haven't made it or tried all my theories in my face but just putting it out there in case someone's interested☺️🤗

i bind using four sports bras bigger clothes help a ton it makes me look like a 🚪

What about wearing a caftan and using a false mustache and goatee?

It may be helpful to speak with your primary care provider as to wether or not binding would be beneficial or not. I recall a surgeon on you tube saying binding can actually make things worse??? Please don't quote me on that, as my memory is not always reliable.

Thank you very much for this video

I'm shrinking out my large I'm between sizes though I'm going to try medium but I might get both another large And a medium

They have shirts up to 5x

And 5x pants

Hey where you from?