Just bear in mind. The same way homophobes and transphobes can accidentally be "allies", allies and lgbt people can accidentally sound or appear homophobic/transphobic. I myself have said transphobic things. Not out of malice, but out of confusion, misguidedment and the need to know. That said. I'd like to apologize to the people i have put off in this way. You did not deserve that. Nobody does.
Yeah, I've seen people ask questions in a genuine way, but unintentionally using outdated/harmful language and then immediately getting flak for it. I always try to explain to people that some of the words/phrasing they used isn't ok and then explain why it isn't ok, then answer their question. There's a lot of people who genuinely want to learn, but their only information has come from bigoted/uninformed sources, which leads to them using phrases and terms without realizing that they're harmful. Like, I didn't realize that the word "Gimp" was a slur until one of my friends told me, and I tend to be good about knowing what words are slurs.
Ya and I'm really bad with words, so I've accidentally said stuff to my trans friends but I'm trying to make up for it by correcting people when they don't use right pronoun so that person is more self aware with the pronouns a person uses and I wasn't raised around anybody trans/nb , so it took some getting used to but after a day or so I was the biggest ally (and now agender) that you could ever come across
@@brightsmoke6106 can I ask what it’s like to be agender? I know it means without gender, I just thought that genders were default, can you try exploring paining what it’s like?
I genuinely don't understand how these people can be so full of hate. Also, my mother told me today that I shouldn't teach my daughter about pronouns because she's "normal". My mother couldn't understand that she also has and uses pronouns. Also also, why do transphobes think only trans people get gender affirming care? Cis people have been getting gender affirming care for ever
As a cis woman who has pronouns in my email signature at work, its remarkable (and frustrating) how often I have to explain to people that pronouns aren't just for trans people, they're literally for everyone
The "being gay/being trans is a mental illness so I don't respect them" is such a bs. Even if I'm mentally ill because I'm LGBTQ+, shouldn't you let me live a good life and make sure I can reach whatever "treatment" that I need?🤔
I wonder if people that say stuff like that would say the same thing about people with Autism Spectrum disorder or something similar. If so, then they'd also be ableist.
@@ShinyTillDawn there's a variety of claims i have heard, from one saying 'its a disorder' whilst saying 'mental disorders aren't real they are just excuses for lazy people'...to suggesting physical changes to deal with mental illness and disorders- antipsychotics and antidepressants ok, hormones not. modifying people or eugenic modification ok, but body transition not? totally contradictory statements really.
@@jorriffhdhtrsegg That's what many people who are full of hate do. It's unfortunate that schools are forced to teach to standardized tests, as well as losing funding due to _reactionary_ conservatives wanting kids to grow up without critical thinking skills, but instead following orders and becoming depressed. Most politicians want more yes-men in the world for political exploitation.
When people are homophobic/transphobic and blame it on being "religious," it really pisses me off. I'm a Bible-reading, religious Jewish lady. Oh, and one of my kids is a trans enby, and I'm bi. The Bible is full of encouragement to live authentically, but people too busy to read it because they're whacking others over the head with it, don't know this! Blessed day/night, y'all! 🙏❤🏳🌈🏳⚧
The Bible is one of the most cherry picked books in history. If someone wants to use a mistranslated verse about pedophilia being bad to justify kicking out their gay son, there's so many people who agree. But if someone suggests stoning their wife because she had an affair, suddenly the same people realize that we can't follow Biblical rules to the letter because that's archaic and cruel.
I am Christian and believe that we should love others treat everyone with respect. It seems that it is the fundamental sects of Jewish, Christian, and Muslim followers that base their hatred on their religion.
i feel like some of these "accidental allies" just... don't know what it is exactly that they're 'phobic about. just "i don't get it so it's bad and i hate it!" and then put no further thought into it
That's literally why they end up being accidental allies- they misunderstand this stuff so severely that they manage to circle around to coming off as supportive
@@bronztrooper9440 It's like that time some antivaxxer on twitter said that instead of using vaccines people should be injected with small amounts of virus to build immunity, not realising that that's literally what vaccines are, lmao.
William Shakespeare and Geoffrey Chaucer used singular they, and nobody's convincing me that Ben Shapiro with his single digit IQ is a higher authority on the English language than Shakespeare or Chaucer.
@@tjenadonn6158 lmao, true. Let's not forget Shakespeare regularly breaks the rules in his work. "The master is not the one who follows the rules the best. It is the one who creates the greatest works" type deal. (I think Matt Covile said something like that although, I might have messed it up a bit).
@@tjenadonn6158 I recall one of the first uses of the singular they / them was in the 14th century poem "William and the Werewolf." Also noteworthy because it was one of the rare instances of a werewolf not being depicted as evil. The singular they / them was actually in common usage until around the 19th century, when the English manual of style at the time mandated use of "he or she" or just "he." That's what you get when a bunch of language elitists arbitrarily decide on the rules for everyone else, and fail to take into account that language conventions are supposed to be descriptive, not prescriptive.
Accidental allies J. K. Rowling "It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow up to be" ......yes, the ONLY time she aaid something that could be interpreted to Trans support....
Now she tweets accidental alliance with right wingers like Caitlin Bennet (alongside all of her intentional alliance) when she says shit about wizards defecating in public.
Advice for allies: I’m a trans woman and I like Abigail Thorn’s analogy better than being born in the wrong body. This isn’t true for everyone, but for me, gender is more like a job. Before transitioning I felt like I had a very hard job that wasn’t rewarding, it was exhausting, and I was trying by best to pretend I knew what was going on even though I didn’t get it. “Male bonding” was something I really felt out of place with. Now, after transitioning I feel rewarded and feel like this was the “job” I was meant to have, because of course I was. There are obstacles and challenges to transitioning, much like changing careers, but being supportive of trans people makes a huge difference
@@j0nni235 So for me, being trans is about so much more then my body. While I do have body dysphoria and am on HRT, socially transitioning got me out of what felt so wrong. Unless you’re trans, most people don’t realize just how important gender is socially. When people talk to me like a woman (in a nonsexist way) it genuinely feels right to me. Before transitioning people treated me like a man and even though I didn’t understand why I felt the way I did for many years, I knew I wasn’t “like the other men”. I had to pretend to be a man, but don’t have to pretend to be a woman. Hope this helps
@@j0nni235 *thanks AutisticSciencePerson-sensei for sharing that you feel the "born-in-the-wrong-body" analogy isn't helpful to you and other trans folk! For you, your gender journey has been a shift in jobs... It's the first time that moi has heard gender and gender affirmation/transition being described that way... J0nni-sensei, moi's heard many of my other trans friends use that metaphor to describe their own selves and experiences here in the Philippines... and moi understands that metaphor comes out of being frustrated, of not being able to fit in or conform... and the problem lies in always being pressured to believe that being a woman means one has to have this certain body part in order to pass or being a man means having hair, genitalia and other body parts in order to be accepted by others in society as a man. The metaphor becomes something like "self-abuse", like we always have to abide by imposed gender norms based on the body in order to become us, that all trans folk should be forced to get surgery or look a certain way in order to please the standards of societies that box people into two categories only. Also, there's too much focus on the body with that metaphor, as if all of the trans experience is about our bodies, not about us as complete, multilayered individuals and people? For me... gender is an expression of freedom, a kind of art, and being trans and nonbinary is like saying there's nothing wrong with me and that moi is enough. That meeting peeps who express themselves in so many different ways by dressing up, fashioning prettily/dapperly, talking/behaving, and changing their bodies to affirm what they feel inside of what others feels about them... that's beautiful diversity and freedom! What would be J0nni-sensei's way of describing gender and your own gender affirmation/journey? I'd like to think that everyone, even if they're cisgender, can learn a lot and find beauty in exploring gender or affirming it in ways that empower themselves and uplift those who are being oppressed just because of their gender. Feel free to share any metaphors or ideas! And sorry for the loooong post!
@@j0nni235 theres actually competing theories/ideas if I remember correctly from Abigail thornes video before her transition and I wish I could say which video but as I understand there are currently 2 competing theories 1 is that trans people are born trans and "in the wrong body" and the other idea is that gender is performance and you can choose to perform whatever makes you most happy.
"Defend marriage" always makes me laugh. I'm cis and straight and have been married for 28 years. Since I got married, all those things they said would destroy marriage have happened. Gay people get married. Trans people are now legally recognized as their correct gender. Still married. Somehow all that had no impact on my own marriage. At what point do I have to get a divorce because of the big bad gay and trans people? Seems like something I need to be aware of. 🤔
Those are probably people with very weak bonds with their partners, so they fear that they'll get divorced? I dunno. The whole "defend marriage" thing is weird anyway since so many of them "joke" around and make it seem like they hate it/their partners but feel obligated to engage in it for some reason.
The change of those who can marry now does not denigrate those who are married or are cis. It only adds people who are now allowed to marry; it does not take away any rights for cis marriages. Please recognize this difference and be courteous to all.
Do you mind getting a divorce in the name of my trans brethren. Like I know it seems like a conspiracy theory but my trans army and my gay commanders require your divorce to feed us so we don’t need to consume the blood of mortals and to destroy the sun. Lmao In all seriousness, I can’t think of a single reason why me or my bestie getting married would ever impact someone else’s marriage
@@ClockworkBlade With you and your bestie getting married, nothing happens to anyone else getting married. The lesbian couple does not have their marriage declared null and void. The cis (regular) couple's marriage is not outlawed. Your Grandparent's marriage is still legal. All that changes is for more people who can legally wed. Isn't that a good thing. Loving people being able to marry and be recognized as married. It does not hurt anyone else's right to legally wed. When women got the right to vote, it did not take that right away from men. Only that women could express their opinions and have the right to run in an election.
This is why it's so odd when people say that they're "expecting a baby" when they announce that they are having a kid. What else could they expect it to be? A jaguar?
@@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos what tilted me over the edge of realizing was someone describing waking up in a different gendered body as a body horror for most people. apparently cis people would be upset if that happened
I'm going to start to use "homophobing" and "transphobing" from now on, when referring to people doing such things. It flows really well for some reason, idk why. It's faster than saying "they're being transphobic", too.
@sciencebear1645 No, it's not the same, and the VAST majority of cishet people don't even give a f about the LGBT+ community. We can't expect people who have nothing to do with the revendications to just join us. If they do it's great, if not that doesn't mean they are being phobic. Just uninterested. And it's ok. As long as they don't participate in opposite revendications either, ofc. I hate this idea of "THE CISHETS" being all phobic. It's just not true and leads to many of our youngest representatives to be hurtful and feel insecure towards cishets that don't even care about them in any way. It's extremely counterproductive. Just don't.
The lesbian flag shirt reminded me of high school where one of my cis male friends told me he accidentally bought a yaoi bracelet thinking it was a Yuri bracelet and when he realized what it was he gave it to the actual gay dude who pointed it out to him.
I (very much an ally) was pregnant with my daughter earlier in the year but me and my husband were waiting until birth to find out the gender. When people would ask about the baby we would use they/them pronouns because, obviously, we didn't know. People gave us so much crap for it and said, "Oh... you are one of those.....". We were always like, "Yes.... but also be don't know and don't feel comfortable calling our child an 'it'". 🤦♀
NO BC MY ELA TEACHER DID A WELCOME SLIDESHOW AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR AND HER BITMOJI HAD A LESBIAN HEART SHIRT (SHE IS MARRIED TO A MAN) SO I ASKED HER WHAT WAS ON HER SHIRT AND SHE SAID "a heart with cute colors" I PHYSICALLY CANNOT
Some of my church class teachers were misgendering a trans kid (who wasn’t there) today because they didn’t know better so me and the other kids taught them about singular they/them to use when you don’t know someone’s pronouns. There was no hate just ignorance.
THE WOMAN THAT DRIVES THAT VAN GOES TO MY CHURCH Like ... I ... I have to take a minute here. Of all the places I expected to see that thing, this was not one of them.
My brother told me recently that an highschool friend of him, who was in a relationship withe a common friend, now goes by a fem name. They are no longer a couple and I am not close enough to go and speak to her directly and maybe never see her again, so I can't say "you go girl" but I want you here to feel the unspoken support of people you are not close to
Once I saw a transphobe accidentally say 'only XY chromeozones (probs spelled that wrong, sorry) are women!' and I responded with 'so most trans women, amab enby's and some cis men are women?' they deleted their comment but not before I could take a picture and post it to r/accidentalaly.
I think I saw that picture lol. Then again that might have been any other transphobe since they make the exact same mistakes over and over (they’re stupid)
@@tjenadonn6158 they say basic like having a shallow understanding of a topic makes it right. Like the people that try and tell me how special relativity works after taking an into to physics course (I have a BS in physics).
@@solsystem1342 they may know basic biology, but they certainly don't know a lick of fundamental biology. The latter is a gateway to further understanding and the former is a simplified version that breaks down when one tries to go higher.
In the 1980's, I got marked down on my English compositions for using they/them as a singular pronoun for a person of unknown gender. I'm so glad times have changed!
Same but I'm a trans man. I used to be all, "Oh, come one, obviously EVERYBODY wants to be a different gender, you're not special, just suck it up like the rest of us!" Lol.
I just remembered that some time ago I had to clarify and explain the difference between drag queens and trans women to my parents😅. My parents had said something along the lines that adjusting the body works better for men than for women. I was a bit confused and asked them what they meant exactly, because I hadn't seen any obvious differences. They then listed a few people for whom it didn't work so well. I noticed that they were names of drag queens, and just because they weren't on stage doing their show when my parents saw them on TV at a chat show, my parents thought that they were women for whom body adjustment didn't work so well.
I find the "they/them" haters so funny, when they go off about not wanting to use plural pronouns for a single person, because it is supposedly just so wrong. And here I am wondering, when they will bring back "thou", since "you" was originally second person plural, after all :D
In French, "tu" (and variants, ta/ton for ownership, toi for direct, etc.) is singular and casual, so you'd say that to a family member, a partner, a friend, mayyyybe someone you're just friendly with but not really friends, I'm not sure how far that actually goes, I'm not a native French speaker, I just have French relatives. But then "vous" (and again, variances, like votre for ownership), is singular formal, but it's also second person plural. So it still exists, just not in English
@@bloodgutsandangelcake6079 Yeah, I know, it's similar in German, with "du" being the more informal and friendly second person pronoun. Only there the more formal variety to address another person is actually "Sie" which is third person plural. So the equivalent to "they". Pronouns are funny :D
I find it somewhat funny (aside from sad) that some native English speakers, who actually have a grammatical option to refer to people of an unknown gender, are making such a big deal out of it saying it is not grammatically correct, while many other languages, who don't have this grammatical option and had to literally either make up pronouns, or repurpose pronouns for anyone who prefers to go by gender neutral pronouns, don't have this outbreak of "omg that is not grammatically correct" even though it technically isn't/wasn't grammatically correct.
@@science_bear And which community would that be? I don't have context for whatever incident you are referring to, probably (although just a guess) because we are from different places.
My favorite moment of transphobia was a classmate saying to my friend, “Your friend there, yea them. They’re wrong in saying they can be they/them, because they can’t use they/them unless they’re plural.” Like nice job dude, you’re in the advanced English class, and you are dumb enough to call my friend they/them to explain why my friend can’t go by they/them.
In middle school, I thought that it was weird why people use they/them as singular pronouns when it's plural. On my first day of high school, I thought about it more and realized that it CAN be singular. If a middle schooler can learn this, why can't a lot of adults lmao
@@tatertot8954 Actually, a lot of people _were_ indoctrinated to believe that "they/them" were only plural pronouns. Singular "they" has existed for hundreds of years.
@@ShinyTillDawn nobody has been indoctrinated to believe the word “they” was only for multiple people, it’s always been used to describe somebody whose gender you do not know. The DIFFERENCE is that then, it was because you didn’t know if they were male or female due to simply not knowing. But now, people are indoctrinated to believe the word “they” should be used for the same reason, but because they might be something other than male or female. Hint: People are only male or female.
When I had a friend who opted to start using the/them pronouns I had a good think about why (at the time) I had a struggle with that. Turns out it was the difference of LITERALLY not know the gender of the person, or knowing, liking, respecting them and using what felt like "impersonal" pronouns. Sometimes we have to look at our biases (even if it's just toward a word/words) to understand using "preferred" or "chosen" pronouns instead of misgendering someone. If a person asks you to use they/them, it would, in fact, be disrespectful to use other pronouns for that person. TL:DR Don't be rude.
I used to be transphobic, mostly because no one ever explained to me what it was and that family around was not exactly the most queer friendly. Now I’m too queer to handle
With regard to the phone in...I was induced into researching transgender issues when the whole Rowling stuff kicked off. All I had to go on was the "Trapped in the wrong body" trope which gave me no concept of what a transperson goes through. I had no idea about gender dysphoria which I can at least have some understanding of, even though I cannot know what it is like, of course. I don't have a TV or read papers, but in discourse about trans issues, I never hear anyone discuss gender dysphoria. Wonder if because in the UK, transpeople aren't allowed to have their own voices heard in mainstream media? There seems to be a shocking lack of education of trans issues and the Terf-fascist alliance has been allowed control the debate.
American media tends to be a bit better (except for the media outlets owned by Rupert Murdoch) but even here, I almost never see "gender dysphoria" mentioned in mainstream media.
The most annoying anti-they/them argument is the "you can't use it as singular, because 'they are' implies plural, you can't use 'are' with a single person", but I bet they are perfectly fine with saying: you *are*
I used "they /them" for singular use when I was a kid in the early 90s. My teachers corrected me saying it was plural. I asked how I was supposed to know if the character was a man or woman. She said "by their name". But what about names that could be a man or woman's? Anyway, decades later I found out I have autism. The side effect is questioning things that make no sense 🤓
*cough* *their* name But as another autistic person, same- I once got kicked out of class when we were analysing a photo of someone in a dress and I pointed out not only women wear dresses when she said that
Thanks for this funny video Jamie! I recently came out to my dad as an enby and he told me that i was "confused" and "mentally ill", so seeing these transphobes be accidental allies makes me a little happier
my mother would have done the same thing (she did it to me being bi/pan), which is why I didn't fully come out until after she died, and even then not at all to my maternal family. My dad sort of knows but I know my stepmother wouldn't have been too thrilled (she's also racist as fuck so...).
I have always known I was different since about age 6. My trans friends helped me realize I am genderqueer at 38. Am now 54. So glad the people coming after me have more awareness and terminology ❤
Story from my home country: when the original Sailor Moon series debuted here in the 90s, they tried to erase the same-sex romance between Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune. So in the dub, Sailor Uranus was just an everyday straight guy... who transformed into a girl when fighting evil.
If thee doest not address my nonbinary sibling as "they", why doest thee use plural "you" to address me? Thee shall address me as thee for I am but one humble bunny.
@@goodpeople25 I didn't come around to cleaning up ok? That stupid grenade scorched half my collection. Caerbannog is just where I crash to get away from things... I got some new cozy skulls though.
9:08 This image is an iteration of an absolutely ancient meme that's been used for at least a decade to get people thinking about what gender and sexuality really entail. "Buck Angel or Bailey Jay", where Buck is our old frenemy, the manliest man in the world with a vulva, and Bailey is an adorable lady who is hung (both have done sex work openly showing off their whole bodies, so it's not inappropriate to point it out). It's a way of challenging people to really think about what matters more, genitals or aesthetics. It's also what inspired me to insist that no man can be truly "super straight" if he wouldn't be willing to go to bed with Buck Angel.
Omg I love the idea, of someone transphobic and homophobic choosing with which of them they would rather sleep, and watch them drip in sweat of anger and awkwardness.
To be fair though, people usually have multiple criteria that have to be met in order to be attracted to someone. So many/most people would probably care about both genitals and aesthetics (not to mention other stuff like personality). The thing that makes "super straights" super-straight is the fact that they tell everyone loudly and repeatedly what their preferences are. There's nothing wrong with having preferences.
No, it’s not hard at all. I’m gay and I don’t support Trans people. Sadly I have to share a community with those people and those people have made the community a joke. Ehh
a nice part of my trans coming out experience: i use they/them pronouns.i loved from FL to OH to CO. i started a new job to help pay for school/transition. all my coworkers have been kind and supportive about it. a couple even gave me they/them pins. i’m still touchy about it BUT for the first time in my life most people i know are accepting. it may not be much, but within my regular boring life, things are looking up. just wanted to share a positive trans experience since i know those shouldn’t be taken for granted. hope y’all get some of the love i’ve gotten. wishing y’all the best ❤❤❤
@@TheoRae8289 because your mother (my husband) told me to comment these or our kids wouldn't be fed for another week (they live in the basement living off dew that forms on the brick walls and they fight over the dead mice that the cat kills and drags down there
Yeah, it's so awkward to have to say "If you are an alumnus/a, you can join the alumni/ae association." Back when Intel had a processor called the "Pentium Pro", I always wondered if the plural would be "Pentium Pros", or would it be "Pentiums Pro", analogous to "attorneys general"? And if it was "Pentiums Pro", then maybe it should actually be "Pentia Pro"? I never did figure that out for sure.
How about human rights for everyone? If it is a law, it is a law for everyone. If it is a right, it is a right for everyone. If it is a liberty, it is a liberty for everyone. Let's try that.
I remember a few years ago (circa 2018) this one MAGA Conservative Boomer on Facebook who was ranting about the word Trans saying that “if Transwomen are actually Women then why do they use the word Trans? There’s no such thing as Transwomen, they are just simply Women”
The sad thing is that you indeed don‘t learn the singular use of they/ them in school if you live in Germany… I learned it only because I was was watching you videos and you explained it.
Not even in English language classes? I know that German doesn't have a gender neutral third person singular epicene pronoun, and like most language regulators the Rat für Deutche Rechtschreibung is extremely slow to catch up with things (getting la Akademio de Esperanto to accept that "ri" is a thing and has been a thing since the '70s is like getting a right winger to read or an amoeba to do rocket science) but you'd think that since singular they has pedigree going back to guys like Shakespeare and Chaucer it would be part of any English language curriculum.
I even had English "Leistungskurs" (advanced course) and my English teacher always said "he or she" if she didn't know the person's gender... I also learned it online
@@alwayshufflepuff8233 yeah, my teachers (or at least most of them) do the same thing, which I just don‘t understand. I mean, I don‘t believe every single one of them don‘t know this, one if them even spend a whole year teaching in an american/ british school, so maybe they think we wouldn‘t get it?
I am Dutch and I never learned singular they/them in English class. And I had pretty forward thinking and inclusive teachers for the time, both in primary school and middle school.
To be honest I get what you are saying about "born in the wrong body' being used to simplify it for cis people but in my experience it really is like that and I have talked to other trans people who feel the same. I wish you and other people would say MOST trans people don't actually experience it that way because people won't accept my experience as real if they always hear that especially from a professional like you. It makes me dysphoric when my experience is talked about like it isn't the way REAL trans people feel. We should always try to Include others experiences as best as possible even if all you do is add "but I guess someone could feel that way everyone experiences being trans differently." to the end of your sentence.
I'm not even sure how to describe my experience. Just a general alien-in-a-human-costume feeling. I didn't have any words for it. I did have a home ex teacher explain a trans woman at her church to us once, but I don't even know why this woman was brought up. The few times I was "mistaken" for a boy growing up just gave me this unspoken "yes"....feeling? I grew up thinking every girl felt weird and wrong on their cycle because my family never talked about stuff like that. I didn't start to feel "right" until I had to have a medically necessary hysterectomy where I blurted out to take the ovaries too, because I thought it'd "cure" my PCOS. The lack of estrogen felt more "correct" in a way. And it wasn't until my ex-spouse ran off that I decided to say "fuck it, let's try testosterone and see what happens." After the first week of that in my system, I actually felt physically healthier. And recently I decided to look up some physical stuff I dealt with growing up that I realized had stopped, and they all turned out to be symptoms of low testosterone in cis men.
Thanks for including that to the conversation. I had the opposite problem where I didn't realise I was non-binary because people kept saying "born in the wrong body" and it didn't feel like that for me at all. I didn't realise there are actually people for who it does feel like that, so thanks for educating me. For me it felt like I was in the right body but then my body started to change away from who I am (aka puberty) and ever since aspects of my body feel wrong compared to what I feel I am.
@@laartje24 I feel like many trans people describe the feeling as what you said. It seems to be the more common way people experience dysphoria but more difficult to understand so they stick with "born in the wrong body". For me I always felt something was off and as I got older I realized I felt like my body was a complete stranger. Only after hearing trans people saying born in the wrong body did I feel seen...and then left out again when people say it's not how trans people feel.
I have a very homophobic aunt who sent my husband (M) and me (F) a wedding anniversary card with some lovely drawings of a lesbian couple being together in different romantic settings (one woman with long hair and one with short hair, but both obviously styled to be women). It is now on our mantle, front and centre, where we will enjoy seeing it every day. Not sure if she'll ever notice, but we're ok with that.
Did you just go from "trans-brittania" to ace representation? Allow me to extrapolate: "Transania, sounds like lasagna". Lasagna is best served with fresh garlic bread. And we all know what garlic bread means, right aces?
One time I posted a video to my public instagram and it was just like, an outfit video and the audio had something to do w girl, I think it was the PPG audio ("I'm gonna be the prettiest girl at the party") and I'm nonbinary but afab and I like to be perceived as more masc despite my skirts and dresses. ANYWAY! Someone decided to comment "your not even a girl" and it was.....very satisfying
My 7th grade English teacher taught us that they/them was only for plural use and we had to use he or her EVERY TIME we referred to a person. I honestly don’t know if she was trying to be a dick or just extremely misguided.
Looking back I used to say very transphobic stuff about my cousin behind his back because my family still doesn't recognize his transition since he came out. Now I'm closeted in college and I secretly like every time I hear someone call me sir lol
Thee/thou was second person singular, not third person singular they. There are no examples in history of third person singular they not used with unspecified antecedents, which is exactly when we do use it...'person, customer, client, someone, somebody' etc
I was not taught about they/them in school. I only learned about it at 17 years when I had translated a Minecraft Wiki article from German to English and used he/him for players of unknown gender. If there's a native speaker, then yeah, they should know how to use they/them. But if you see a Frenchman or a German, he probably just doesn't know better yet. You can educate him though.
I have the same issue. In the Dutch language, using they/them sounds out of place. It's possible to use, but not common at all. Here, we refer to people with unknown genders as he. Not: The thief got away! THEY stole my bag! but this: The thief got away! HE stole my bag! NonBinary people are trying to use Die/Diens. Or Zij/Hen. But "zij" in my language can both mean "she" and "them", which is still confusing as hell. English is so much easier in this case haha
I guess you meant a "French" and "they probably just don't know" "you can educate them" 😉 Languages are hard! But I'm so thankful, that I didn't had to learn German as a foreign language!! Greetings from another German 😊
@@floranuko2854 German is probably worse in that regard than Dutch. In German, "sie/ihnen" is not just used as the third person plural but also as the second person singular and plural AND it sounds very similar to the feminine third person singular "sie/ihr". So no shot at ever using "Sie/Ihnen" for third person singular of unspecified or nonbinary gender. You could use "es/sein" which is used for third person neuter but I don't think that's very popular because Socks doesn't like to be dehumanized
@@floranuko2854 Agreed, language can be quite a barrier in contexts like these. My sibling goes by they/them pronouns and my dad will often just use the English word “they”, though he says he was taught “die/diens” as gender-neutral in school. Personally I find “die/hen/hun” (like “hij/hem/zijn”) to be the most natural, though I’d be fine with “diens” as well. It would be nice if some respected authority made a style-guide so there was a consistent standard to follow which we could all get used to.
@@brookedickson4118 Can't tell if they are transphobic, but I am not I am literally non binairy myself. But the concept you are explaining has been scientifically proven to not be correct (although I believe it was thought to be correct for a while). Yes, pressure form society can worsen the effects of gender dysphoria, but it is not the only reason for it. There are many other factors too that contribute towards gender dysphoria, and will still happen to children who are/were free to express their gender however they liked.
The lesbian flag shirt reminds me of a toque (beanie/knit hat) I have. I got it from Old Navy and it was just called "raspberry stripes." It's all the correct colours for the lesbian flag, arranged horizontally, in almost the right order.
Technically, in early prenatal development, everyone has *both* sets of reproductive organs. That's why the clitoris exists and why the scrotum has a seam
I remember bringing up the fact that all babies start of as essentially female at the start when I was in school, the teacher literally took me outside the classroom and berated me for it and told me I was wrong
I came out to my (also trans friend) and they have a RU-vid channel. On the RU-vid channel, they made a video introducing their friends (including me 😁)!! And guess who was on the thumbnail with their chosen name!! MEEEEEEE!! I WANTED TO SCREAM!! IT WAS THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE IRL HAD USED MY PREFERRED NAME!! And, just to flex, I got the coolest preferred name. King. Based on king George the third lol!! My friends also call me shoe which is an EPIC nickname. A lot of my nicknames are gender neutral and I love it. Have an epic timezone, beardos and weirdos :)
conversation i had "I don't like using they/them, because it makes it sound like someone is larger and made of more than person than one its weird....[2 minutes later]...oh, someone has left their bag here, shall we hand it in" why would the bag be property of many people? I wonder if my family friend believes in collective bag ownership, or just didn't realise what pronouns mean.
That church van definitely didn't seem accidental nor did it show that they were or weren't trying to be allies. Like, there's churches who will use the rainbow proudly to display allyship and some who will do it to "reclaim" the symbol left after Noah's ark for the church. Reminds me of my family playing Dixit and my dad used a card with a rainbow to imply "Acceptance". I had been genuinely touched by that and said "aww, cause queer acceptance, that's nice" and he just turned around and said "no, the rainbow has stood for acceptance long before that". Thanks dad for making so very clear that I don't have your acceptance...
4:00 i'd like to add that even tho many trans ppl only say things like "born in the wrong body" to make it easier to explain to cis ppl, many trans people DO feel that way genuinely, do feel like they used to be their agab until they transitioned, etc, not just bc cis ppl tell them that, they just genuinely feel that way. that's just their personal understanding of their own experience and the way they prefer to talk about it and that's equally valid
When I'm in airports duty free cologne samples are everywhere. I'm extra careful to ask where the men's ones are as I don't accidentally want to scoosh a female one on myself.
2:52 omg you found it😭 this is the video that started my gender journey, cuz the cis man's answer got me so confused. I thought EVERYONE would've been like 'oh, cool!' and kept living as the gender of their body..But no, that was my transness buried under 16 years of autistic masking🥲❤️
I remember having to do a grammar sheet in class that was about singular and plural nouns, and instead of being able to use they/them as singular, we had to write out him or her/his or hers, and it was very annoying
It's hard time in my family now because of my transgenderness. These videos help ease the pain. Thank you. Hope, my parents will understand and accept me soon. Although, I'm doubtful whether it will ever happen.
so on facebook my name is andi a transphobe kept calling me andrew and sir, man, he/him.... and while that's not quite right, i AM trans masc and it was definitely some sort of affirming, in a weird way so i was laughing so hard at how badly this transphobe kept failing at the one thing he was meant to be "good" at it took over 20 times of me saying im not a man for him to even consider any other possibility
English is my second language and I graduated as a bilingual in an academy owned by the USA Embassy in my country. I was actually taught that they/them is only used for plural sentences and to refer to someone whose gender is unknown we used to say "he or she". If it wasn't for social media, I would have never known that they/them can also be used in singular (and that non-binary people exists, honestly)
I'm not sure how it is for other people. Because it's not something I really discuss with others, and it's gotten a lot less frequent as I age; Most of the time I'm ok with myself, indifferent to my secondary sexual characteristics. But there are days, days where I find my breasts confronting and want them gone, days where I resent having to sit to pee, days where I want to shave my head and have socially acceptable facial hair. This can be a day or a week. And then I'm back to not caring all that much. It took me decades to realise that I'm probably not cisgender, not trans, but not cis either.
Something along the lines of genderfluid. It does fall under the trans umbrella term, but it's one of those "one size doesn't fit all" thing where there are a lot of genderfluid and nonbinary people who don't feel they count as trans (or don't identify with the word itself).
I second the suggestion that you might be genderfluid. However, I'd also like to point out that trans people are not necessarily dysphoric all the time. I would go through periods of time when I was okay-ish with being a man. (I didn't actively enjoy being a man, but I was just sort of like, well, I have this body, so I might as well follow the path of least resistance.) But then I would always eventually come back to thinking about being a woman.
That sounds actually like my child life. But i think the part "not caring at all" was more like an ignoring. I am a transwoman and happy to be. Although i dont really care about girly stuff.
I was literally taught in school (in the 90s) that someone of undetermined gender/generic person was "he". Period. I got marked down multiple times on assignments for using "they" or "she" because I felt that rule was sexist AF. But I run into people my own age (some of whom had the same teacher) who still insist on using that sexist garbage. Language is always changing. If you wanna fight me on that, go read some Shakespeare or any of the historical recipes Max from Tasting History shows. Gender-neutral language is definitely a direction I want to see English moving towards, not away from.
One of my friends is trans and doesn’t have supportive parents so for Christmas I want to get him a binder but a good quality one and was wondering where I could buy these
I would like to say we are buying from gc2b (me and my other friends) to get them one and I’m so excited because I know they are dealing with there parents quite hard rn (they came out yesterday and got called a phase)!
I was born to a Jehovah witness oriented family. I was one as well. But when i found no biblical answers to my dysphoria, i started to question God and the religion. I left with not letting them know because i knew they would answer for the first time the wrong answer biblically, or at least theyll have no answer. After 15 yrs they recently had a convention talking about "the world" gendering spectrums. And gave no answers at all... Just mentioned it but no amswer!!!! but a question.. the question was "Really?"... I immediately laughed and all my life pain of confusion and belief mostly left because i came to the reality. I've never been stronger and let a mtfkr try me. Im in Florida and im NOT leaving anywhere!!
