At 15:34 I had to replace the music bc of a copyright claim, so there is a bit of an audio lag...apologies for the inconvenience but you don't really miss anything lol. Thanks for watching!
It’s amazing how much i see myself in you. I’m turning 40 at the end of April too and just quit my 9 year corporate job in finance, to venture into the online world plus my relationship with someone i thought would be my husband failed, i have no kids and i just cut up my credit card as well. Can you imagine that? Anyways, i’m looking forward to this new decade and whatever it brings, joining a gym, changing my diet, taking swimming lessons “at my big age” 😅 Cheers to us. Love from Kenya.
That’s what’s so baffling about ageism. Because no, everyone does not have the privilege of getting older. And when ppl go early, everyone is distraught about the tragedy of dying young. Meanwhile growing older is clowned. Make it make sense.
This hair and this orange? Oh girl🔥As a 32 year old woman who basically spent all her 20s on youtube, I have found myself pivoting to watch content from women in their 40s and 50s. I really appreciate seeing the different ways in which women navigate their lives. I specifically love seeing single and childfree women getting older and being happy in their lives
@@DanielleAbigail oh hey. There's so many but ones I can think of rn (married or not) are The Style and Beauty Doctor (Danielle), Shameless Maya, Aja Dang, EJSpeaks, Fumi Desalu-Vold. I'll drop more recs when i can remember more
@@helloprincess that's really cool because tbh, we have little in common with 23 y.o. women now. I'm trying to age well holistically while being entertained so I love my peer creators❤️
“At her/his big age” is the dumbest thing I’ve heard. Nobody is too old or young to make mistakes. Life is unpredictable and society is judgmental and hypocrite
Nope I disagree, you can argue that it’s overused but I do think some people do pretty inconsiderate/inexcusable/illegal things and want to feign ignorance to absolve themselves. Just admit you lack empathy or morals but not that you didn’t know better and that’s what I think that phrase comes from.
Yeah but also... people act like they chose to be born after u 😂. Birth and looks are literally two of MANY things u have no control over, and it's so weird to have people make fun of older people as if they don't dread dying. If u don't die, u reach 40 and older 😂
I’m 54, single and childless, and even though I have enjoyed numerous (some serious) relationships over the years, I have to say I have not enjoyed more personal peace than I do in this stage of life.
Yay! Take those bikini pics! I wish I would’ve done this. I was so insecure in my 20’s, then had my baby at 31. Now I’m 33 and regret having no body/bikini pics. If I could go back and take those pics I would. Enjoy your 40’s and just live your life. Be happy. F the haters.
@@queenbutterfly4888 You’re so right! I started to think I’m old when I was about 24 too. Now I’m 27 and 24 years olds are so young to me now! I regret wasting my time complaining about my age while comparing my achievements with people who were younger than me. Now I’m truly starting to embrace my age and realizing that even 27 is still super young.
@@queenbutterfly4888I’m 35 and told an older woman (who I thought was in her 50’s) told me not to say that, not to even have that mindset. Apparently she’s in her 70’s and said that she preferred her 30’s over her 20’s because it was like a light switch went off and she grew into herself. She said yes there will be aches and pains as we age but to take care of yourself because it’ll only get better as we age for women if we choose PEACE. Then she winked at me. I knew exactly what she meant when she said the word Peace. We ended up exchanging numbers and plan to get to know each other. She travels a lot and knows all the tips and trips. I’m excited to gain knowledge and a real friend
Hi Steph, welcome to the club 40s. I have had several relationships,and one failed Marriage, and to top it all I have a good career. Hurray 🎉I just want to tell you that you are doing well, each one of us has their own destiny. I believe that now more than ever before. Yesterday, I lost a dear friend, a bright, intelligent, kind human being. He only turned 50 in December. He was one of the fittest individuals that I know. He did everything right, he ate right, exercise but at end of it all cancer still took him. Just like you and I, he was single. He live life to the fullest , and did everything right. You keep your chin up and keep doing everything right. ❤
@@Morenita570 I think a lot of people do. Anyone that makes fun of someone being single at any age is delusional and needs therapy. And I think we know who THOSE people are
40 is so young. My aunt met and married her husband in her early 50’s after going through a divorce with her first husband. She got married at 25 and divorced at 50-met new husband at 53 married at 54. Been married to second husband for 10 years
Steph sometimes I want to cry when I watch your videos . There’s just this emotional resonance. Like I’m so grateful that you’re in the world and that you’re occupying the space you’re in. When you said your calling is to be a teacher and how it manifests through your work I think I got goosebumps. it was like my spirit was saying yes, see that’s what it looks like when a woman embraces the universe.
I'm a 52 yo white woman who is in a ltr but never been married or had children. I'm currently going through menopause, haven't had a period in 10 months. There are things that suck about it but what bothered me the most were hot flashes, but I'm on HRT now and they are totally gone. You'll get through it when the time comes. Regarding never having been married, I pretty much given up hope that it will ever happen. It's hard, but we have to accept the hand that we're dealt in life. I've seen people go through hideous divorces, at least I've been spared that.
I'm a black women, no kids. Almost 50. I'm going through menopause too, I had the same issue with hot flashes. They were happening almost every 15 minutes. I also had anxiety, which I never really had before. HRT has been a life saver. I never married and like you I doubt I will now. There is no guarantee of happiness in marriage and despite that I think I have a good life, only wish I could travel more.
Grieving the marriage you may never have or kids you may never have is very real when turning 40. Still dealing with it at 43. I’m considering adoption…maybe. Dealing with legs Itching, hot flashes when sleeping, heavier or lighter menstruation, weird body aches, headaches…perimenopause. I feel seen
I feel teary. Not because I'm sad, but because how awesome you are! I love how open you are and how you don't let stupid age limits hold you back. I am also childless, unmarried and 39. I relate to your stories so much. I'm out here dating, living my life just like you. I also follow topics like pretty privilege, sexism, astrology, etc.. I never thought I was weird. I think it's weird that they think we're weird!!! 🤣 And really alot is probably jealousy and fear. Folks are probably secretly secretly bitter and confused by the idea that we don't all follow the same trajectory. I understand your need for privacy and safety, but please keep being a safe cornerus childless and marriage-free women to come chill . We Definitely exist! Love from Canada.
Yes! At our big age we get to do what makes us happy! I'm learning to rollerskate. Im out here falling down with the little kids and everything. My mom started a YT channel at 60. Life is to be lived! And the older I get the less I care about what others think and the more I just want to do what brings me joy.
Happy birthday!! I'm turning 30 and my friend who is already 30 shared with me the same experience that you detailed the day you turned 40 -- throwing up and crying alllllll the way until the day of, and when it finally happens: peace. There's no more fear of expectations to meet because you are now there and there's no more anxiety, no more desperate planning.... no looking backward, only forward. I'm trying to keep that perspective in mind as the milestone approaches. There's so much more ahead, and no purpose in fixating on what's behind. Love this energy for you ❤❤
I turned 40 on May 5th, and although I’ve had a pretty good life, my next 40 won’t be like my last. I’m loving 40 thus far. I’m not married and have no human children, but I have the cutest Chow Chow fur baby. I’ve come to the realization that my life is my life. It’s not supposed to look like anyone else’s. I make it my business not to compare, get in a rut because it’s going to be what its supposed to be. Cheers to 40 🎉🎉
I'm in my 30s, gay, Latino male in Tx. When I learned to say no and set boundaries ...GAME CHANGER. Also set your financial goals to what you want. What many people realize is..." oh I saved all this money so my 65 year old body could travel and do all the things...but I'm 65...and cant actually do all those things..." It's a balance. Live in the now but prepare for something in the future. There are no rules to how one does this. I always watch your videos for how real you are. Love it.
If you have no medical condition/restrictions your 65 year old body can easily be your 18 year old body you just have to keep doing the things you did and maintain, it’s not an age thing it’s a health thing
@MNIU_ as much as I agree in theory, most people's journeys to 65 seldom result in physically feeling like they're 18...including me. I eat well and exercise and rest but there are too many factors in life we can't control.
Wait 40?! I'm a casual watcher (changing that now, hitting subscribe) so excuse me but I absolutely thought we were the same age haha. Trivial stuff aside - thank you for making the content you do, it's much appreciated and so needed. 💖
Speaking as a 47 year old woman(single or in situationships most of my life). When you get older (for the most part) you don't care what people think, your perspective on life changes and you realize you want to do the most you can while you're still able to which includes taking better care of ourselves mentally, physically , emotionally and spiritually. For my all that culminated into finding a comfortability with myself which was a true gift and a bonus of that was finding love for the first time last year at 46 y/o. I'm absolutely loving this stage of life. It kinda sucks this state-of-being has come now later, but I'm glad it did and I'm going with life where it takes me instead of trying to strictly control where it's headed. 😊
Hey Steph , I rarely comment on posts, but I wanted to let know that it’s possible to meet someone and get married in the one year mark as you said … that happen to a friend of mine!! Also there’s a RU-vidr Fumi desaluvolt , not sure if you know her. she got married in her 40s and got her son in her late forties now she’s 56. You should watch her content I think it will uplift you and make you see that you still have a long life to live and can still find your person if that’s what you are looking for !!! I enjoy watching your videos ❤! Happy birthday to you 😊
Thank you thank you thank you for this topic! I turned 40 recently and my 40 is nothing like my mother’s. She was really established in her adulthood by my age. I am still figuring things out and feel so unsure. It’s been such an insecurity and source of discomfort for me. Also doesn’t help that I look younger and am in a junior position at work so people assume I am much younger than I am. It doesn’t feel good. Makes me feel like I come across as immature and have not achieved as much as would be expected at this age. I’m so grateful that there are still corners of the internet where folks can be vulnerable and real.
Congratulations Steph! It's a blessing to see another day 🦋 My mom was excited to reach 40 and called the decade "F*ck it 40s" lol I'm newly in my 30s and am counting my blessings to be out of my 20s. Seeing a beautifully glowing and wise lady such as yourself makes me excited to reach my 40s too. 💕 Cheers! 🥂
Hey Steph. Happy birthday 🎉🎉🎉. I am 44 yrs old, soon to be 45. I am single and childless. Probably approaching perimenopause as we speak. I have NEVER felt so free in my entire life. I just recently completed building my own home💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾. Live Steph. Just live. Live for YOU🥰🥰🥰. Also love love love your content...and I'd watch the dog videos too😁😁😁
Steph i understand you get a lot of backlash and really happy and proud that you still plow through all of that. Yes there’s a lot of critics but there’s a whole bunch of us who are in the same boat as you and related to this side of the population. Your platform is relatable to a lot of people. Keep doing what you do and happy belated birthday 🎉
I think the world is only equipped to handle the topics you described… dogs, travel, work attire, golf/hobbies, finance, business. But if you want to shake the table go off sis. Many of us who are in the similar situation will support you.
As someone who works in finance, I can tell you, many people have loans and debt they will NEVER disclose to you lol. They will only show you the fruit, not the rot lol. Compete with yourself.
Thank you so much!! But another gift I’m giving myself this year is a year of self work…finances, physical…etc! I’m a work in progress so I’ll be working on that! But thank you for the offer! One thing I’m realizing (and experiencing) is the extension of romantic interest to women after 40 is a very real thing! Thank you so much ❤
*I'm glad you made this video because, I firmly believe ageism was invented to "keep women" in line. I have never felt more attractive than being in my 30s, I know 40s will be even better.*
I'm going to say it...I'm tired of the black community with the whole, "at her big age" rhetoric. Cause let's be fair, WE say that, it's a very black phrase. For some reason we are obsessed with women growing up and I don't understand why. By the way, that orange on you is amazing!! ❤
The internet does not reflect real life!!! Directors, VPs, and CEOs are OLDER. Aka a BIG AGE. in real life, people take “big age” people more seriously at higher positions because they’ve had years and decades of experience. They’re more trustworthy and respected. There are many instances of people not taking people who are younger seriously. I’m sorry you got insulted with your age, your age gives you more credibility 🤍 happy bday!!
As a single mom in her 30s who creates content on the interweb I can concur that people always resort to ageism and single momism to insult you (water off a ducks bag for me) but I do so to show women with similar experiences that they’re not alone and how they can still be abundant. I say that to say, there are women should love and relate to you. P.s. I love this hairstyle on you. You look stunning 🫶🏽
Happy late-birthday! I was sad when this video got to the end. I am 32, and I have been sick and tired of dating content for at least 2 - 3 years. Thank you for giving us some deeper dives ❤❤❤
I hate that you feel that you can’t make lifestyle content because you’re not married etc. at 40 years old because I think that it’s actually so valuable for younger people to see people in their 40s and 50s and 60s and with their lives look like. Our society basically tells us that life ends at 30 which we know is not true, however there’s not really enough representation of what life looks like after 30 either. I actually would imagine that the life of a single four year-old is more interesting than the life of a married four-year-old with children as someone who is a stay at home mom who is married and has a kid on the way I would have absolutely nothing to vlog about lol. My life is very mundane.
I’m 4 years into my 40’s and it’s been the most clear I’ve ever felt in my life! I’m comfortable in my own skin, I know my flaws, embraced my strengths and become a full person. I’m thankful for the last 20 years to learn and grow. I can truly see and hear others views and take something away from it. I can cut the fat and still get the meat if that makes sense. Anyone who thinks you can’t still be learning at our big age are insane !! If you have it all together , good for you. If you’ve reached our age and unmarried and childless I applaud you!!! Gurl you’ve dodged some unbelievable stress and unnecessary baggage. I applaud all of us that are still working on ourselves and sharing with others. Love ya! ( I’m married twice over and have kids and yes I’ve paid heavily, mentally, emotionally and physically, but it’s okay, still learning)
I love your astrology videos, Steph! I personally would rather hear a more seasoned person speak on it than a younger person. And you know your stuff so they can shut the hell up! I hope that your 40s treat you well ❤
I don’t think people thought you were young when you first started because of the content you were creating-you legitimately look younger than your biological age! Also, I think that content was and still is very applicable for those of us no longer in our twenties as well; many of us are still struggling with the same things. I’m in my early-middish thirties and I can relate to and agree with so much of what you say and cover on your channel. It’s nice because you’re like a girlfriend I have a lot in common with but also sometimes disagree with but respect and understand the difference in perspective, personality and personal lived experience. I always leave your videos with a smile or a “wow, good to know/I hadn’t considered that” feeling. I wish I was still in TX and that our paths crossed organically because I think I would have really enjoyed being able to be a friend of yours and having you as a friend.
I'm 39 turning 40 this year... I don't have kids yet and everyone tries makes you feel bad. Especially since I'm married. So I get it. The Internet is weird 😂
Im 43 the ageism doesn't bother me. Everyone ages no one is exempt so why should i feel anyway about it? Then you start realizing these people don't pay your bills and at that point they can kiss your azzzzzz lol
You’re blessed. I’m 26(Male) working little 2 jobs debt free no college education but saving. You inspire me not to care what people think but to focus on what my goals are
I think the younger generation should stop age shaming us. You never know where you're going to be at a certain age. When I was 24, I didn't think I would be childless and single at 44. Some things are out of our control. I haven't had what is considered a relationship only the term situationship, I feel I have no control over other people's intentions when it comes to dating me and that's my reason for still being single at almost 44 it gave me the chance to realise that actually, motherhood was never for me.
Welcome to the 40’s. It’s great! I married and had children in my 20’s so are 43 I have 2 adult children finding their way with our love and support. I have 1 adorable grandson and life is good. I’m all about self care and preservation. Deciding How I choose to spend my energy and giving less of a damn about what others think. Life is just beginning! Enjoy all of it.
Menopause is genetic. 2 things.... If you come from a long lived family, odds are you won't start menopause early. Also ... A lot of timing depends on when your mom got it. My gyno told me if you start your period early, it will end early. If you started it late, it will end late. I've only heard that from him, so....
always admired your honesty, i relate to your life tremendously and it’s nice to see a black woman pushing against societal expectation and working on accepting the reality of their unique journey! ❤ The body is TEA MA’AM 😮🙌🏾
Welcome to the 40 club! It is definitely a liberating decade. I literally don't care about half the stuff I did in my 20's and 30's. May you have an amazing experiences in this new decade💜🙏🏾
Love this! At our big age (I’m 42) we are less and less affected by what others thinks and do whatever the f we want. It’s very liberating! I have also been struck by the reality that I really need to hone in on my physical and financial health. You and I have a lot of similarities. I am currently dealing with fibroids myself and am transitioning from teaching to instructional design. It would make a great career alongside content creation since it can be very flexible. 😊
Girl, you don't need to catch up to anybody. Focus on YOU!! Set your own goals, smash them, and celebrate along the way. I am 34yrs old. Not married, no prospects. I am fine if it doesn't ever happen, it is just what others will say or think I realise is the problem. I am gathering the strength every day to focus on me. As long I am fine with my life, f.....k what others think.
I want to be respectful, but you're naturally beautiful and attractive. You also look like you're in your mid to late 20s. You speak in a relatable and understandable way. If you ever designed courses or classes, they would definitely be worth joining.
@Stephco, 38 year old here, about to turn 39 in 24 days lol!! Thank u Girl because many of things u discussed has been on my mind as I am knocking on 40's door. U have helped gain so much perspective!!❤
If we can begin to do away with this idea of a "blueprint" for living, I think there's a definite hope for a future with far less anxiety in humanity. I do truly feel that it's the question of "Am I doing it right?" that stunts so many of us and pulls us into this downward spiral of unworthiness. Because what happens when u follow the instructions TO THE LETTER and your life is still a mess? U feel like a failure, right? It must've been u, right?... Maybe u missed an ingredient or put it in at the wrong time, or the temperature was a little off? NO! It's society's insistence on shoveling this sham mentality of there's one fool-proof way to have a happy and fruitful life down our throats and then telling us that if life didn't turn out a bowl of cherries it had to have been something we did (or didn't do 😏). We have to stop this! There's no blueprint or instruction manual. U do what feels right. That's another thing!... We have to get back to trusting our instincts. I feel like we've gotten soooooo far from that as humans. It's been bred out of us, I think. We're not genuinely encouraged to trust our own instincts. What we're taught is to look to OTHERS to know what we need to do with OUR lives. (Now, understand that I'm not saying we should just stop seeking out and taking advice cold turkey here. That's not what I mean. Lol!) What we ARE taught and have been taught for many, many, MANY moons is to simply do what those that came before us did... That's it! Don't take the path your soul is telling u to take... Just do what your mama and daddy did...and your grandparents did...and your great grans did...and so on and so forth. INSTINCTS. Your life is your own, and it is not your responsibility to make up for the opportunities lost in the previous generations if that is not the path your soul is leading u down. No more of this "Well, I come from a long line of doctors, soooo I guess I'm gonna be a doctor." bs if your soul is crying out for u to be a florist because ever since u were born u've always loved flowers and being around them has always brought u peace and contentment...See??? This is the point I'm making. We have to follow that beacon our soul has sent out from the moment of birth so stubbornly it borders on obsession no matter how much the ppl in our lives and society judges us for doing so. This has to become the norm. Parents have to start teaching their children THIS way of life...aaaand perhaps 3 or 4 generations down the line, we'll have a more joyful, content, and mentally healthy society. Cuz, chyle, this approach humanity has taken to life in the past and currently AIN'T IT! 😂😂😂 We gotta smarten our hard-headed asses up, Steph! Oh, and HAPPY 40TH to u, luv! 🎉🧨🎊🎉🧨🎊🎉🧨🎊🎉🎂🤗💖💖💖
Hi Stephco, I see you haven’t uploaded for a while. I hope you’re well and taking care of yourself. I’m looking forward to seeing your uploads in my notifications again. You are loved ❤
This is such a wonderful topic and video! I was just thinking earlier today that I wish there were more mature RU-vidrs talking about the experiences because right now it seems like there’s a lot of people in their 20s just talking into the abyss with little life experience. I want the real talk! I wanna know what happens as I age. I wanna know the lessons that you’ve learned. I wanna know how you changed how you grown how you evolved, and it’s ridiculous to think that you’re too old to share your life experiences especially when the more life experience you have the more value you actually have. Social media is all smoke and mirrors. It’s so funny how far someone can get from just looking the part and being young and juicy. I want voluptuous and vivacious! I wanna learn from someone with tiger stripes. I want to listen to someone with a story to tell.
Congratulations on your 40th year! This is the greatest decade imo! You've learned just what you were supposed to! The 20s you learn what being an "adult" means. The 30s you practice the things you learned in the 20s. The 40s you are Ready and Set to GO be the best you possible! Regarding "the change of life", if you're like me and most women I know, don't worry until the late 40s - early 50s. Smart move to focus on health and wellness now! Be twice the woman you were in your 20s! I didn't know about your doggies! I love your spirit all the more for them! ❤️🐕🐶
Girl post lifestyle content! Let's folks know a fulfilled live can look different. Show the high and lows of being a pet owner. Show how you find the will to keep going after you swore you couldn't because this happened or that. Point is is watch.
I understand you considering another career change but I think it might be beneficial to stick this through till you begin to see the fruits of your labour so maybe think of how you can expand content creation and your platform, you mentioned Tik Tok but have you considered instagram reels?
People online will attack people for their looks or their age. Because it’s low hanging fruit- it’s so easy to just attack that since you know nothing about the person. So annoying.
Funny thing these ppl think they will stay in their youth. We age every second and we don't know what the next minute will bring into our lives. One minute things are going good...the next you've lost everything and have to start over. Ppl seem to be less empathetic because they believe life will always be perfect for them.
Stephanie! This video is amazing. I will be 40 in November and I had so many of the same sentiments. Turning 39 was really interested for me. I found myself trying to rush to do things before 40. But, I do feel a sense of liberation being so close to 40. I am glad to see this type of community supporting women in this age group. One thing I know to be true is 40 is still young. I don't feel a day over 30.
I’m 31 and I love to listen to influencers your age because you’re in that next chapter of life and many of you are sharing stories about what youve learned about various aspects of life. I love watching you, Empressive Channel, and Jessie Woo for the social commentary. If you’re interested in different content I wonder if you’re interested enough in food/heath, interior design, or clothing to create more lifestyle content about it? *I wrote this comment before I was done watching, apologies if you happen to mention that you may talk more about those things!
Stephanie’s mommy blogger aspirations warmed my heart. What a great mother/homemaker she’d be. it made me think why people who would make such great mothers and homemakers don’t always get the chance. But at least we get to be that to our furry companions and nearest and dearest. And to ourselves!
Welcome to your 40s. 🎉 I want to tell you also girl that it doesn’t matter what you choose to talk about, I’ll listen. I love your conversational style and you’re so real and vulnerable that I can’t help but love you ❤.
I love the what i do in a day video! I follow on instagram and your reels with the pups are awesome! I think most of your authentic followers just want to know you and enjoy your videos regardless of what it may be.😊
Welcome to your Single and Childless (SAC) 40s! 🎉Sorry, but I can not jump on the CNBC train, it competes with my CNBC financial network. Oh, yeah definitely do you!! Congratulations on your piano lessons.
