hi loves, I hope you're well, happy & looking forward to ramadan x connect with me: instagram: shahdbatal... pinterest: / shahdbatal email: shahdmbatal@gmail.com
I just wanna preface this by saying that this is absolutely not how this vid was supposed to go but it's how it went & that too has been a theme of my 20s. anyway, love u
GIRL. This was PERFECT. I just stumbled upon this video...putting something in the background while I spend another day applying for jobs (transitioning from working for myself and enjoying for 2 years to having to search for a job to survive in this treacherous job market). Well, now I'm typing this in tears to tell you to keep doing what you're doing. It's so many gems in this!
When you said how do I know if the current you is right or wrong - you don’t and you’ll find out either the religion you later learn or in hindsight as sometimes you think you did right but find out it was wrong/wrong way. That’s what I think. You can’t blame yourself for not knowing better though.
I'm 27 and the level of calmness I feel about my life right now is insane. I used to be so extreme. I no longer drink as much, I'm with a partner who respects and supports me, and I'm working hard enough to get me where I want to be, but still perfectly content with where I am. I'm not Muslim, but I have been consistently drawn to Islam since I was around 20. I always come back to te Quran. I always come back to videos like these for wisdom and calmness. Recitations are usually how I fall asleep. I think my heart is telling me it's almost time. Or maybe that's Allah telling me it's almost time. I'm not sure, but I'm just happy.
A soul craves for its creator you will feel completely at ease and peace when you decide to submit to the Most merciful may Allah open your heart and bless you from where you dont expect 🫶
Me too! I just feel like Islam makes me feel so calm and feel a level of “organization” for lack of a better word 😂 but I feel like my experiences with asking elders questions have kinda traumatized me where I’m scared to go all in
being in your 20s is such a revolutionary experience because i feel like for the first time, I am in charge-- of emotions, decisions; and I dictate outcomes i want out of knowledge of who i am. I know I haven't lived long enough to know myself. but in your 20s, you start to recognize the girl in the mirror and that feels so incredible. part of the revolutionary experience is learning to resist parts of yourself that can be inhibiting. it takes a while to unlearn years of self-doubt. you have to parse through voices that are both yours and the voices of others. on top of this, as someone born Muslim, I begin to choose Islam more and more, and take ownership of my faith, which is also liberating. my islam finally becomes mine. and it overall feels very special to be navigating my 20s!!! thank you shahd, these thoughts were beautiful and so so relevant
The part about how you journal is so relatable. Something that has helped me is having my main journal, where I let the two voices exists but try to emphasis on wiser reflections, but i also use the journal feature on notion to thought dump the less wise/insecure voice. She just wants to exist and im learning that letting her exist does not mean she’ll get more power over me. It helps me actively choose the wiser voice instead of guilting myself into being mature by suppressing the less wise one. Everyone has these aspects of themselves and remembering this helps me disengage my identity from my insecure self. At some point, i used to only journal when i felt like my ‘higher self’ but when i reread the entries i recognized a lack of authenticity and vulnerability in what i expressed. I knew at the time my inner dialogue was not reflective of what i was writing, i was just willing myself to believe the wisdom - ultimately it’s much more complex. My goal this ramadan is to emphasize on heart purification to help strengthen my wiser self.
The wiser voice is aligned with your values, and the other voice is natural response to pain/discomfort (sometimes against our values). The self is the one that is noticing these thoughts happening, that is separate from both.
10:42 I love that you mentioned how being in those extremes is horrible for your cortisol levels. I defenitley see that you are much more calm. and it takes one to know one. Once I started becoming more aware of how my thoughts were greatly influencing y cortisol levels, I took a huuuge step back and started looking into ways I could calm myself. things like turning back to the sunnah, having a more positive outlook on life, observing my mother (who to me is the queen of chill and elegance) and seeing how she navigates through life, I realized calm is my nature, its in my genes but I begin to unravel when I stray from it. controling your mind and feeding it only good has been a game changer. I like to tell myself its my birthright to be calm and at peace like the women in my lineage and to embody the simplicity and beauty of my predecessors. life is not supposed to be chaotic and in the moments that it is this where you turn to your religion and just be patient, poised and resiliant. this is one quality ive come to love from my friends and relatives who have grown up outside of the west. they have this discipline that is so inspiring. it akes me think they were meant to be in my life so that I could learn from them so that I can become my best self. and I was meant to be in their life to bring them joy and carefree. we all need a balance of these two aspects. the discipline of patience in itself makes you impenetrable and pairing it with gratitude and the remembrance of Allah makes you unbeatable
Man to reach this level of calm and peace is something that seems so unattainable right now 😢 I'm pushing 30 soon and all i want is this !! But what I want and what's reality is so far off from one another all I can do is just take deep breaths, say a prayer and keep moving 😞 Lovely video as always Shahd, thanks for that! 🤍
I swear I have an entire council in my head of different voices that alternate between being the primary drivers of my life. And you can never quite pinpoint when they were born into your consciousness or whether it is really 'your' voice or the personification of a collective of outside influences. Or just the critical voices your parents lol. But I also wonder if thinking so much about what our voices are is also a form of intellectualizing ourselves. The need to properly contextualize and package our emotions appropriately so that we can be properly understood. I wonder if social media played a role in that, we have to properly title, format edit and immaculately present ourselves appropriately in order to be heard and find our audiences. I feel like for me personally, I have done that in real life too. I used to not speak much unless I had my logic completely prepared. No emotions were processed or expressed to others. That's why I like the way your video ended. You just let it be as it is.
That made so much sense. Trust me you are exactly where you are supposed to be. You will look back on where you are now and say wow, I’ve really grown. Just keep asking questions, reflecting and exploring. Know there is no end until the end 🙌🏽✨
I can definitely relate to your ramblings, like I'd think you were reading my mind. So very comforting to have someone else voice these things, so I feel a little more connected and on the right path xx
Wow @shahd I hope you know how beautiful and necessary what you’re doing here is! Maybe you have an idea of where you want this to go, maybe you don’t. But either way thank you for showing up ❤
Intellectualizing emotions can actually get you so far if you are able to connect the dots. One specific emotion felt during a precise moment when intellectualized can help you resurface past events( with the help of some critical thinking techniques) and lead you to deal with issues at hand with better understanding of where your feelings are coming from.
journaling brings out a vulnerability that we find comfort in, but the levels of self-awareness it makes us reach can deter us from diving deeper. i've always been one to know exactly how and why i got myself into a situation, and i journal the entire process from start to end, yet wonder how it's possible my emotions are still as extreme every time when i find myself in the same scenarios over and over again. there's a predictability that maybe in some way we want to stay in touch with. because we might just want the insight, without wanting to put it to use. i guess we have all the answers, and just keep coming up with new questions for ouselves.
this might be my fav video of yours. Really spoke to me. Fomo has made me waste so much time, still is. And what you described is exactly why I can't journal regularly, I'll do it once a few months in an angry/emotional moment but can't do it regularly cuz it really is just me intelectualizing everything and not doing a damn thing to change my life over and over again. Like it always remind me that I actually have no problems being self aware and that I really understand myself and yet my behavior hasn't changed in a decade, I just end up hating myself in the moment.
You're vidoes are very soothing. I also totally get the two voices thing- for me one of the voices is like my hurt self and the other is my higher self.
If you and I were friends we’d drive each other crazy with our thought processes and analogies.😆 My life outside my house passes by observing, I barely speak unless necessary. However, when I feel safe and comfortable I can’t stop talking, and question everything, but then answer myself lol. I can’t comprehend how I can have such different personalities, actually I’m the same within but my expression depending on environment is such a contrast. It was really refreshing watching your video x
Listening to your gut is valid unless you have anxiety or mental illness in which case your gut can be your worst enemy and, a lot of the times, completely irrational
For me the anxiety is clearly irrational weather guts is more rational Idk how to explain it’s hard to differentiate it but anxiety is often worrying for something you can’t really change
