Two Easily Remembered Questions That Silence Negative Thoughts | Anthony Metivier | TEDxDocklands 

For those impatient like me, here’s the 2 questions: Are these thoughts useful? How do they behave?

To all those watching this video for their mental health, in case no one tells you today, just know you’re not alone (a lot of us are here for the same reasons) and you’re doing an amazing job getting on top of your mental health. And you should be proud of yourself for doing so. I hope you have an amazing day, and know we’re all here with you :)

The more attention you give something, the more power it gets. Same thing goes for fear and negative thoughts.

For those of you who come to the comment section for support, just know we’re all rooting for you. You can’t see us but we’re all here cheering you and your mental health on. You got this, don’t give up

save you 13 min the 2 questions 13:04 "Are my thoughts useful? How do they behave?" Confront your thoughts and think for yourself

I suffer with depression, anxiety and OCD. The biggest tool ive tried to develop is mindfulness. Asking yourself if your thoughts are useful is a simple and clever technique, I will add this to my tool belt

1. Have Daily Negative Thought Time 2. Replace the Negative Thoughts 3. Be Your Own Best Friend 4. Write Instead Of Think 5. Make A Conscious Effort To Find Things To Love, Like And Appreciate 6. Establish New Habits 7. Use Affirmations 8. Develop Your Success Routine 9. Channel Those Thoughts Into Something Constructive

The ancient Stoics really pound on this topic. Marcus Aurelius especially would write to himself as a reminder that he takes the shape of the quality of his thoughts. So, it's important to examine your thoughts constantly to see which ones are dragging you down and discard them. It's not easy and takes time but the point is that you're worth the effort and work and time. Demand better for yourself. Your mind takes the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, wouldn't you want those thoughts to be of good things? Positive things? Happy things? You are worthy of such things.

I used something similar to this to quit drinking alcohol. What I would do is try to find the motivation behind my thoughts, what were they trying to get me to do. I realized most of the chatter in my head was wrapped around planning to drink. Once I was able to separate the chatter that dealt with my alcoholism, I was able to dismiss those thoughts as my addiction and then think about something else. This was not easy and only one part of dealing with addiction. I hope this can help someone else, and forgive yourself and others you blame.

"We can extract value from the things we don't like." I like that!

To all who read this: You are *more* than enough. 💖

This talk really changed my life. Strangely enough, esspecially the second question "how do they behave?" has worked for me. Images started to appear in my mind of how my thoughts did behave each time I asked myself that question: like raging gremlins, frustrated soldiers, prisoners, anxious bees or nagging neighbours. These pictures were very powerful, as they put me right in the viewer seat, and immediately distanced those thoughts from me. I could then decide whether to "watch on" oder turn my attention to something else. Thank you so much!

“Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

This sounds similar to Byron Katie’s method of inquiry that she calls, “The Work” to invalidate negative thinking. You isolate the particular thought by repeating the original negative through and then asking, “Is it true?”, “Can I absolutely know its true”, “How do I react or what happens when I believe the thought?,” and “Who would you be without that thought?”. Then you turn around the thought to possibly understand if your thought is a projection of something else. This stuff is not second nature to me, so this type of advice is always a good refresher when I’m on a downward spiral.

When almost all of self help and motivation experts are all about telling us how flawed we are and we have to be sucked in their network to get better, this is one of the most self empowering talk I have ever heard. Thank you.

I love how he stands straight in front of the letter that totally can change the towns name.

Those who keep saying, skip the video and get to the point by watching the end of it. Well, I'm afraid I have to disagree. The point is not about hearing two words or two phrases or any random quote. We, humans, tend to understand things a lot better when we relate them to the context where events take place. It helps us click with their stories, know what they have been through and the lessons they have learned, which in turn invite us to embody these valuable insights instead of just keeping them stored in our heads.

This is what I'm getting from reading and mediating on the bible. Stillness from the rattling of unnecessary brain clatter. Knowing more peace and calm then I believed possible

Thoughts: Are they useful? How do they behave? Great lesson, thank you!

Busted out laughing at "of course I still have thoughts, I got myself here today" I am so happy you've had this experience, beautiful story. Great speech!

If he is talking about internet trolls, they are not keyboard warriors. Warriors have courage. It doesn’t take courage to spew negativity at people with no accountability. “Energy doesn’t die, it just changes form”, was a great reminder. 👍

Another tip I learned when dealing with automatic negative thoughts (ANT's), not only question whether it is helpful, but question whether you would say the things you say to yourself to a loved one.

I watched this video almost a year ago today and when I saw it pop up in my suggested today I got very happy! I have a post it note on my wall that says. " Keep thoughts positive. Are they Useful? How do they behave? Negative thoughts are someone else NOT ME" Since about a year ago my wife and I have been all over the mental health and growth journey but I find myself happier than ever and the negative thoughts don't control me anymore. You may not ever fully get rid of them but you learn to live with them and eventually they don't hold so much weight. Keep going. You're on the right track.

With practice, one can simply cease thinking, or move attention to something else. I've used this countless times when awake in the middle of the night to get back to sleep, even when having an anxiety episode. It's your brain- you control what you think.

I have a variation of the exercise that can help smoothen the process. Include an opening question and a closing question: 1) What will my next thought be? [This switches you to looking inwards] 2) Is it useful? 3) How does it behave? 4) Should I pause thinking? [This directly silences your thoughts]

I love that he says “I don’t know, but I don’t think so”. Such an honest answer

Observing one's thoughts is a useful thing to do. Allows one to throw out useless and outdated thoughts.

The closer to the Devine, the purer the mantra. This mantra is pure and simple. Bless you. Sweet Mercy, indeed. Peace and deep calm joy love follow. A new wave flows like turning into the ether and becoming part of the universal flow.

The honesty and transparency are endearing. Memorizing the Spiritual ultimate truths in God’s Word is the most transforming ❤️🙏🐛✝️🦋🕊🎶

My short story: whenever I feel bad thoughts are coming, I think "this won't make me happy nor make me any favor", and after a lot of training, I change to better thoughts, namely holidays, arts and crafts, or I watch videos of pets. And when I start thinking about work on my free time, I think "I'm not being paid, so I better stop now"😂 this works too.

I think maybe this is what all animals have above us. No language to distract from their sense of being.

The first time i watch this i didn't understand it. I watch again and has changed my life.

Negative thoughts like a storm in my head criticizing me. But when I say my mantra "when I don't care anymore I am free" and I imagine this rain of mud pouring down from my head to toes and I just let it be.. Then I start to feel better afterwards.. I don't know if it work for everyone but it works for me...

I like these questions too "Who is the one that knows?" "Who is the one thinking?"

Thank you Anthony, for pointing to the inner beauty of Sanskrit. It is an often overlooked truth that Sanskrit has a rather unique structure. Hard to find the words to describe it, but let me give it a try. Having followed Anthony for a while I'll try a paradigm from cinema arts, which is one of his areas of expertise. The waking state of consciousness is like watching a movie. Very engrossing, and our inner silence is overshadowed as the images on the screen become our "reality". If on the other hand we are cognizant of the mechanics of how the film is scripted, shot, edited and projected then we automatically become aware of a much deeper "bigger picture" experience as we watch the films story unfold. We become aware of the simple, pure, white screen. Sanskrit is a language that illumines our waking consciousness because it is awake to all of those levels of experience. By that I mean every expression contains coherent meanings on all levels of the mind simultaneously. It can describe the very specific localized realities of the physical material world. However in the same expression the words hold alternative, more subtle meanings and the grammar allows the same flow of words to illuminate the underlying reality that the experience can be seen as pure consciousness moving within itself. This magical exposure of the underlying reality is accomplished because Sanskrit belongs originally to a culture where deep inner silence was wide awake inside the population. In our modern chaotic societies Sanskrit, when properly employed can provide a roadmap back to that experience. So our thoughts are understood to be changing displays of lights on a pure white screen or perhaps like the many waves dancing on the vast unchanging wholeness of the ocean. Once the wave can see itself as the unbounded ocean in a temporarily localized bounded state, its behavior is seem for what it is, a show, a story teller trying to capture our attention with endless, comedies and tragedies.

Great talk. I learned about analyzing my negative thoughts through my Buddhist practice. These two questions allow the sane part of your psyche to gently challenge the out of control parts and bring order to your mind. I'd like to add that antidepressant and antianxiety medications do not muddle your thoughts if taken correctly (i.e. as prescribed and NEVER with alcohol). Many people find them very helpful because they can reduce symptoms enough to allow them to start using psychological tools such as the one in this video.

For who ever wants to truly experience the peace and no thought realm, Read the power of now, it literally has the power to plug you off that noisy world

Another good one I heard from Eckhart Tolle that I use that helps pull me out of a thought spiral and into the role of observer: "I wonder what my next thought will be."

Joy is not taught in a way that truly explains how valuable it is Joy the least studied and talked about feeling. A very important difference needs to be reintroduced to many While day to day happiness is subject to interference from outside sources, joy belongs to you 24/7 - 365 366 on leap years Count blessings often. Reading this is a blessing in and of itself! No?

It’s so interesting to me that I watched this video, found it very useful and was looking forward to putting this strategy into practice…and then not 5 minutes later, a person in my life appeared and viciously insulted and belittled me out of the blue, as he has done many times before. I was devastated, but after finally calming down, I realized it was the universe telling me I will never truly know peace until I am out of this situation in which I am constantly subjected to verbal abuse. No amount of self-help and positive self-talk will ever make up for being in an ongoing abusive situation.

"Are these thoughts useful? How do they behave?" Imagine your thoughts as strangers that approach you from nowhere, trying to influence you and your behaviour. One guy, who's pissed off, approach you and say "You're going to fail". How do you interpret these words? How does this man behave? Are they useful words? Or just nonsense? - This man behaves in a rude way, he is negative, not very useful, why did he say that? I have no clue, so I guess there's no value in it as he doesn't know me at all. The same goes with your negative thoughts, as you can't predict the future, you can't listen to a thought that says "you can't do this".

The two questions make us pause to question our thoughts. This, in fact is, the First Habit "Be Proactive" that Steven Covey talks about in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. First we pause, give ourselves time, take responsibility for what we do next (Habit 1) question the thoughts in our mind for usefulness, put the more important ahead of the less important (Habit 2: Put First Things First) and choose the thoughts that are useful (Habit 3: Begin with the end in mind)

Normally I am happy that someone saved me time by posting the content aimed by the clickbait. But this man is soulful and his thoughts and expressions and intensions earnest. It is a joy to watch the full talk. The people who came up with the clickbait title that sort of ruined the whole talk for a lot of people should be ashamed. I hope more people can watch the whole talk and be present while doing so. FWIW many have posted the questions here. If you just know the questions without knowing how he came upon them, it is probably only 1% as useful.

We don’t want to shut thoughts off but to learn authentic mindfulness that allows us to recognize our thoughts with awareness.

This is a smart person. You can tell he has a lot of things to say about the world but doesn’t engage in the conversation. As you can see he asks questions instead. Thank you for the powerful video.

I'm going through a terrifying time in my life right now. I had the worst panic attack I've ever had and my thoughts are the loudest and cruelest they've ever been. I've dealt with anxiety and depression for years. It feels like those negative thoughts think they're the "big man" and in control. But I don't want to give up and I'm trying to fight and take back control. But it's so scary being at odds with your own mind. I am so grateful to have found this video. Reading all these comments proves to me that I'm not alone in this fight and I CAN overpower it. I send out love and hope that we can all overcome this 💗💗💗💗🙏

My parents are both doctors and have always told me the beauty of the human body from a scientific standpoint was the reason they were religious.

Man I just cry when I feel my heart. The beauty of understanding someone's perception of the world from times as long ago as sanskrit must have been interesting 🤔

Thinking is overrated. All my thoughts are imagination. I think of them that much it happens. I was once a headteacher for 3 years. Never had a job as a teacher in a school. But because I said I’m going to be a headteacher and imagined it. 16 months later I got head hunted for the job. Love my mind ❤️

I refer to that part of my thought process as “the storyteller “. It’s a part of me and I’ve learned to “communicate” with it in order to have a quieter mind with positive thoughts.

This is the key to success. This is the key to a psychic revolution in humanity. This would heal the world... if everyone could adopt this way of thinking.

My god I was going through a anxiety attack right now and thinking about the quotes calmed me down ☺️

' ... we've got to be able to get past this... we can't afford to NOT SEE and NOT EXTRACT THE VALUE from the things we DON'T LIKE, because we are so STUCK on the Things WE DO LIKE..." Brilliant advise Sir. Thank you !

I just awoke to a new day after hitting a new low last night and this is exactly what I needed to hear so thank you!

Negative thoughts always come from love , to protect you from getting hurt . Just tell yourself no need to worry everything will be okay and you’ll be safe . The answer is always Love .

I have been in such a deep depression thinking about the past mistakes I have made. Are these thoughts useful? Not on your life! How do they behave? They make me feel horrible. I needed this so badly. Thinking of jumping off a bridge just keeps on ping pinging in my brain because I was told I was a f*ck up. I have cried for days over those two words. I need a hug!

It's a nice reminder of how to occupy your busy mind with something mechanical and have a useful filter in your life. Thank you - this reminder came with excellent timing.

A beautiful Ted Talk. Have listened to it every morning for the past few days and will continue to ... so much to learn from it. Anthony Metivier's voice is so easy to listen to. Thanks.

I've worked with Anthony for years and all the things I learned from him are life changing! Very good talk!!! Real tedxtalk!

Have been practicing "no thoughts" since I was a teenager. Appreciated Eckhart Tollle's advice to be the one listening to my thoughts rather than thinking I am my thoughts. I have found a level of contentment by reducing inner monologues, especially recurring negative memories. Sadly I had no mentors to teach logical thinking to plan my actions effectively. While focused on spiritual pursuits I should have balanced it with the benefits of managing money. Positive thinking I learned is a delusion that doesn't manifest in our material world, but a lot of people made fortunes selling the false idea that is actually synchronicity. Dropping the voice in my head does reduce stress, but it's not enlightenment. Using meditation to have a set time for going deeper into our conciousness is appropriate and the rest of our day use thoughts as the tool they are. Ha! Wish I was good at this idea...

When he asks "How do my thoughts behave", I THINK he is referring to what action or behavior do we exhibit from these thoughts (typically). Before you were made aware of whether the thought was useful or not useful, you most likely performed the same physical action that you always have. So, he's merely asking you to be aware of HOW your thoughts guide your life. 1) Is it useful? Once you determine that, you can ask yourself, how does my thoughts behave? Do they make me anxious in a good way because there is a REAL threat or am I overthinking for nothing and I'm about to go binge-eat to cope with this thought....? Does that make sense?

I'm astounded to realise how many of my thoughts are so far from useful!! I mostly laugh or shudder at the first question and rarely even feel the need to question their behaviour 🤣🙏💜

The questions to neutralize negative thinking by the internal voice are finally stated at 13:10 min:sec. "Are my thoughts useful?" "How do they behave?" The talk before that point is not informative. I am reminded of Aristotle's criteria for speaking but applied to the internal dialogue: "It it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?"

underrated. I had to find this again to send to a friend - I've employed this little mantra since the day I watched this, and oh how incisive it is. Works every time to foster insight and quietude. I wish everyone could know this beautiful little gateway to a more mindful life.

Inspiring talk! Amongst the simple but powerful points, "you can change you" resonates with me. With the right tools, we have a lot more power than we realise.

Great lesson from Anthony Metivier , love all of his content, he's been teaching me a lot lately.

Good advice, and yet our mind is so destructive that we forget them. We forget to remember. We wallow in the negative more than the positive.

Amazing. It's so hard to escape the algorithm and that's not me being negative of social media because it has soo many positives. It's just refreshing to feel human again.

I'm a proud student of Anthony and this one opened another door into my deeper inland empire

This information has changed my life, with practice the negative thoughts will just come and go and my mind clutter is clearing everyday, i owe my gratitude to this man and Ted x thank you!

Thoughts are a life forms trying to create themselves in our dimension -joe rogan and Duncan trussel

This was so incredibly helpful. Cleaning and refreshing. THANK YOU!!! Love and light xx

Excerpt from a book: 'Nurturing the Soul' written by B. K. Mohini from Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University. Raja Yoga Meditation teaches that we have 4 types of thoughts: 1. Functional or necessary thoughts 2. Wasteful thoughts 3. Negative thoughts 4. Positive thoughts We don't need to silence the mind but decrease the quantity and increase the quality of our thoughts.

Your mind is a tool for you to use not the other way around. I need to get out and walk in nature for thought to turn off🌳🌱🌿🍃🌾🍀🦚🦜🐿🦡🌞🦌

I am so grateful I came across this. I went in for what was supposed to be a quick doctor's appointment (and which was completely covered by my insurance) two weeks ago and was told I was going to possibly need very invasive surgery but first would need a series of invasive, very uncomfortable, and sometimes painful tests all of which are going to cost me thousands of dollars. I'm 34 and very healthy so this has been very overwhelming and upsetting (to put it lightly). I'm excited to try this out 🙏

Self-enquiry or "Atma Vicara" Just ask the question. Who am I? And stay with the I. You will enter a relm or substratum of unmanifested I. The true I. OR I-I. It's surreal and incredible.

“Blind and insane.” So true... Neutrality is at the crossroads of reality. Come from that space and all of our wonderful possibilities open up.

I am not 100% sure I understand. When I am spiraling, I know it. I’m aware that the thoughts I’m thinking are the depression or anxiety talking. I’m aware that I shouldn’t worry or fixate on situations that I can’t control. But that doesn’t give me silence, there are still just as many thoughts, I just know that I need to sort through which ones are really me and I can keep hold of and which ones are just my depression and anxiety. It’s helpful for sure and this practice has absolutely changed my life as I can stop myself from spiraling so often. But the thoughts don’t stop and it take a lot of mental and emotional energy to sort through all of them. So my negative thoughts: are they useful? (no) How do they behave? (They are negative and do me no good) But that doesn’t exactly stop the fixation or spiraling. It just helps to keep yourself rational.

This video is keeping me from not ending my life, in my mind I wanted to change someone I want to believe someone is like I imagine. Perhaps was my heart as well. I must keep my mind clear and battle with my depression. I understand is part of life. I should accept it and make it through the day by simple. Asking are my thoughts useful how do they behave…… silence

Love this. Thank you Anthony!

Love it, it's like putting a filter on your thoughts before they can go any further.

John Hudert - Best 13mins invested in listening to the context behind the benefit of why these 2 Qs are worth remembering/utilising. Very worthwhile listening - no waste of time. Even you had to listen to the 13mins before you decided that it was a waste of your time... and then to requote what the 13mins had taught you.

Mind blown... I will be forever grateful.

I have listened twice now and the simplicity of the message is what I loved about the speech. Absolutely brilliant, thankyou.

I learned from the book, ' Battlefield of the Mind' to think about what you are thinking about. It took practice but it works. Patterns to neutralize patterns. For me, bible scriptures neutralized the negative thoughts. Thank God I no longer have the constant negative tape playing over and over in my mind all day. Ty for this revealing Ted Talk 😃

Landing on this video at this very moment just sent a chill up my spine.

Truth & Justice will always prevail. Meantime, make sure you act wisely. Karma is a boomerang. It magnifies and returns more than what was initially launched back to the sender.

I have listened to Anthony’s talk twice now and have been very moved by his journey. He has arrived at a very liberated space. I am very grateful that he shared how he did so and am already finding a lot of value in the use of these two questions in response to my own thinking these last few days since I listened to him the first time. I highly recommend listening to Anthony’s story if you are at all attached to programmed thoughts that have kept you prisoner in unhelpful or negative reactions to life events and to people who don’t behave according to your programmed ideas about how they should behave. That space is a horrible prison of our own making. I have been stuck in such a prison for too long.

This is absolutely the most helpful way that you have demonstrated how we can all tame our mind. It really works with these two neutralizing questions!!! This is the answer to how we can live peacefully in this world. Thank you for this most practical and user friendly sharing. Bless you for all your years of effort to give us this most precious gift!!!!!! So excellent the way you presented this as well!!!!!

Life has no meaning without the ability to share. Thank you.

‘Energy doesn’t die it changes form’ science and religious minds agree on this he’s right. I never noticed that before.

I too have been through this. Changing the my negative narrator has been hugely beneficial for me. I sometimes fall backwards but not nearly as much as I used to. 💕 i used to turn to negative things such as booze (10 years), my medications (now 12 years free of all meds), street drugs (almost 7) and self harm (almost 4). It can be done. We can get lifted from the fogg and haze of it. Yes its natural to feel very deep and also really good and I want to feel the all inbetweens. I didn't for years and sometimes struggle with it as I have some "dis"abilities but I wear my heart right on my sleeve and proud of it. We can be there and present. Not saying no medication is for everyone but for me it wasn't beneficial. 💕

Excellent talk! MUCH needed right now to calm our thoughts with everything in the media! My mind was BLOWN AWAY when he mentioned about defeating a pattern (negative thoughts) with another pattern😲. I deal with depression and anxiety (and tried MANY medications) and for me the pattern that would still my thoughts was drumming...I would play a simple meditative pattern and this ALWAYS calmed my mind...like a smooth lake at dawn. Anthony helped me realize..I wasn't just doing a hobby and felt good after it...it was a pattern replacing a negative thought pattern...healing my mind!🎇😲🎇

This is an excellent talk, Ive listened more than once, and the 2 questions work.

Discipline your mind, train it, set rules and obey them. Maybe even set a schedule for thinking about certain topics. Practice and you will get better at it. My busy mind really started becoming a problem during college, trying to figure out the error in my computer programs, coming up with all sorts of scenarios and potential causes and resolutions when I needed to be sleeping. Now, I can control my thoughts, I can stop them, don't focus on that topic right now, now it's time for sleeping, when morning comes it's time to continue to try to solve things. On a more personal and emotional level, I ask myself what other perspective would be more interesting and more healthy and probably more true, which is especially useful when dealing with negative thoughts. This practice, this discipline, this self-control has brought me peace.

Similar techniques can be found in cognitive therapy (socratic questioning) and in third wave psychotherapies that integrate mindfulness (realizing the difference between your self and your thoughts). These approaches might come from similar roots as the approach of the authors he introduces. Inspiring, especially when personal stories were shared.

I would have liked to hear more about how he decide if thoughts were useful and some further guidance on analyzing how they behave.

Amazing to witness your journey from afar Anthony. Wishing you all the best :-)

Possibly my favorite Ted talk

Awesome information and very well-presented!!! Thank you for this nugget of gold🙏🌈