TYPES OF BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER (BPD): 12 SUBTYPES 

Thank you

Good for you for taking care of your health and taking responsibility! That’s awesome!

Thats a beautiful level of self awareness. I always thought the triggered borderlines around me acted like hurt children would. Little child is a lovely way to put it. good luck with healing

You're a freakin' badass for putting your mental health first and for really being honest with yourself and radically accepting yourself as you are 🌻

You are walking a path of extreme courage! I am impressed by you and send love and wishes for your complete healing💕

Me to I'm sure my deceased father was BPD..he ruined my life..

In a way it sounds like you did indeed inherit her problems. Perhaps not genetically but due to her poor skills.

I had very similar experiences. I feel your pain.

By the sounds of things that borderline (in my humble opinion i am no professional) someone w cptsd wouldnt black out emotionally& struggles to show vulnerability

Im sorry. Your mom sounds like me and i love my daughter so much it like being at war with myself. I am in 2 types of therapy currently including family therapy with my daughter. If she is like me she loves you so much it kills her inside when she hurts you but she feels so out of control it sometimes feels hopeless. That is my experience anyway. I hope that you both get what you need.

This somehow resembles my past relationship with mum. I am actually not even sure if maybe she is more leaning towards bipolar or comorbid .... I just know it was more than a rollercoaster. I left home at round 19. Never to move back in. Now I'm living on another continent and married with kids. Every time I call her I still get for that split second a feeling in my stomach whereby I remind myself hey, your 48 and not 15 anymore. I genuinely do feel sorry for her because I believe she had her full load of struggles all her life (health-wise and relationships) which prbly were a result of generational passed down trauma. I would like to look after her as she is getting older but ..... spending too much time with her still throws me back some 30 years and I still have the same responses to certain situations like back then. Just recently I started to "speak up" about my failure at school. She keeps on bringing up the subject (even with my kids when we go on holidays visiting her, plus some very embarrassing incidents from my teen years) "jokingly" and I told her mum, I was never really interested in going to uni. Her response?? She at first doesn't even listen to what I say and just continues to talk until I repeat the same sentence maybe three times. Then she would say no, you just didn't want to learn. Its very heartbreaking. You want to tell your mum from the bottom of your heart that u love her bit many times it feels like it'sjust an automatic reply to her. Unfortunately I became this avoidant, emotionally absent parent Dr Sage was mentioning and it did had a big negative impact on esp two of my three kids. Would I have had kids 27 years ago had I known that I'm mentally not ready? Of course not! I would have loved to have known all this information back then and would have searched on how to heal myself before having kids. Throughout all these years there was always this internal suffering which I didn't know from where it stemmed up until about a year ago.... I wish for you healing and for all those suffering and living with confusion about their own selves! P.s it's this vulnerability which always got the better of me. And it somehow internalised in me that I am responsible or part of it for her suffering.

Same with my mom 💔

@@stillpril8942good for you for taking responsibility and going to therapy for yourself and your daughter. I’m sure better days are ahead for you both. Not many moms will do this.

Apology? What’s that? Lol

@@billyb4790did you just try to make this comment about yourself?

@@billyb4790did you just try to make this comment about yourself?

@@rudeboyjim2684 no. I'm speaking sarcastically about my own mother. She'd never apologize even if it saved her life.

@@billyb4790 you completely ignored everything in the comment to make it about you and your mother, but that’s cool. Sorry your mom didn’t apologize, that sucks

Been there. Absolute nightmare.

This is why I refuse to get into any relationship. I don’t want to put anyone through that.

And there’s no chance for resolving. They won’t get help and even if they do it’s about a 10-15 year commitment on their part and you def don’t wanna live through their trials and tribulations of therapy. What a waste of time. I thought I found my soulmate early on in our relationship but at the end of the day it was my biggest nightmare ever!

A GP AT hospital hinted that I might be borderline on m'y file. I cannot recognised any traits in my personality however... I might have to liste to dr sage. I have cptsd though. My attachement style is disorganised.

@@lilyjane1011 Hang in there; there are treatment options available. DBT yields excellent results. It is not uncommon for BPD to be diagnosed with PTSD/CPTSD. I do not think it is outside normal human behaviour for a person exposed to trauma to develop personality traits associated with BPD. That said, hopefully, you are free from the past life and no longer require the protective and defensive behaviour necessary in the past. I wish you all the best on your journey; never give up, and remember that you are not defined by your diagnosis.

I'm so sorry! I can relate.

Haven't you considered that she might be a psychopath or sociopath? BPD alone doesn't create a scheming monster. There are high functioning sociopaths as well. ;) Hope you're doing ok.

Sadly I can also relate. Trying to NOT be like that and heal from this.

Your insight is so amazing and will be the true key to healing and working through your challenges. I am so proud of you for sharing this and understanding yourself - I really am. And you're right, it is super difficult to change and heal - but you can do it. Keep healing Ashley!! xo

Exactly what i said too! I have the same exact presentation! I am literally ALL of these subtypes, at different times for different situations, and then all together somehow too!! It's crazy! I thought i was doing better, and had everything under control, high functioning- all of the good stuff- and then out of no where i have these uncontrollable outbursts of anger- demeaning, rude, disrespectful and just mean- and it feels like there's someone else inside me controlling it and i can't hold back. Like its so weird bc in my head im screaming stop stop! Dont act like this, dont say anything- calm down- but my body just DOES IT and yells and says the most hurtful things. I just cant understand why this happens. Its so bad! But yea, even after a year of almost no major symptoms, now these have come back in a overpowering way and lead to a domino effect . I also can look back on my younger years and see myself as blaming everyone else and all that. Its just so weird.

Thank you for your comment…I can so relate to the contents. Just lost the plot this morning with my son and the guilt has guided me to these videos…thank you Dr Sage. Ps: until this morning I never heard of Eggshells parents…I guess silver lining for my bad parenting this morning 🙃

The name is changing th Eid emotional irregulation disorder

Same here!

I guess I don't understand why people are so easy to cut ties with someone who is BPD rather than work things out with them. I have BPD and I often feel like people throw me away like yesterday's trash and I can never understand why. Yes, I am high functioning and most people don't evenn know, but I'm easy to just forget about, I feel like. I can't control I have this and have been in therapy for years. Would you do this if your mom were schizophrenic or bipolar? I'm just trying to understand - not being rude -- as to why it's not understood as a mental illness like other disorders.

@@allisonwest5393 •Decades of emotional and verbal abuse •The Jekyll and Hyde is too extreme to be around my children

​@@allisonwest5393 Most of the time the partner of a person with BPD doesn't know their partners mental illness. Heck the person with BPD probably doesn't even know they have it. All the partner of the person with BPD knows is they are being torn apart one moment and loved another sometimes all within the same day rinse and repeat. To me a relationship with a BPD partner is like finding someone screaming for help in the middle of a fire. You jump in and try to save them all the while the BPD person is kicking and punching you. I hope that description makes you realize how it feels. Over time that kind of treatment can make the normal partner turn into a unemotional narcissist from the trauma.

watch her videos on mother wound, a cptsd vs bpd, they're super useful.

Hi - thank you so much for sharing this part of your story - I am so sorry for your pain and struggle. It's hard to say without knowing all of the clinical and historical detail around why this could happen, but it does align with issues often related to trauma (both PTSD and CPTSD), rage, and emotional and relational instability, and dysregulation in BPD or NPD, and other more pathological issues related to a range of mental health challenges.... I can work on a video around the rage in BPD- which can be frequent and highly upsetting for everyone if that might help? Please take very good care of yourself🙏🏻🙏🏻💕💕

@@DrKimSage Thank you for your kind response and for your compassion. Yes a video on BPD rage could be useful. Thank you Dr. Sage.

@@SunShine-xu5jb I do not remember which book I read this in, but that author suggested the person becomes emotionally dysregulated when the household has settled down for the night (the silence is deafening) and without distractions their unresolved traumas may try to bubble to the surface and they cannot handle the emotions and may believe child or partner did something to make them feel this way...or because all are in bed they feel abandoned and become dysregulated

@@AG-lx6re Wow! I experienced the night rages by my mother a lot as a child too and this explanation is really interesting and feels spot on to me.

I have more traits of bipolar but have been diagnosed with bpd. I was diagnosed in 5 minutes of meeting my therapist. I’ve spent 6 months in denial, I just can’t relate to this disorder.

are you in therapy, Mitch?

If you Ever meet somebody who clinically is diagnosed with BPD or any Cluster B Personality disorder your philosophy will not apply.

don't forget projection. My mother was everything she beat me for.

Can a person with Quiet Borderline lash out/externalize anger but only with a few people/people who caused the trauma? When they trigger them?

The overlapping circles are very helpful. For people I’ve known with bpd traits, they tend to behave in ways that eventually place them in the outer edge of only one circle, though I see behaviors from all adjoining circles from time to time. You really need time to see these patterns emerge. Of course, without knowing what you are facing, these behaviors are confusing and hurtful at first. Information like this is very helpful, because it allows you to step back and see the person and the behavior separately and helps you feel compassion. As you often say, we need to know what we’re up against and protect ourselves, but we can be both firm and kind and remain true to ourselves in the process. Thank you for doing this research and sharing it with us. Your work is a godsend.

Thank you for this content. Many of these symptoms are the symptoms of the person who is being abused, especially covertly emotionally abused let’s say by Machiavellian husband. Often in these combinations where mother and children have been emotionally abused wolf in the sheep clothing type-child grows up believing that everything has been BPD mom’s fault- as it’s so much harder to recognize and face horrific consequences of intentional emotional abuse for trauma bonded victim.

I find the overlap in different diagnoses a bit confusing at times, it can be difficult to tease them out I think, that's why it takes someone trained in the field to identify. It also seems that trauma is at the foundation of so many conditions.

Same for my mother!

Yup

It's not more important, and my channel is mostly for the children, as I am one too. But the challenge is that BPD has been so stigmatized that even clinicians have not been taught to identify or see it for what it is in the wide range of presentations - and so we miss the diagnosis too -and, the chance to maybe help parents (and thereby, their children) be safe and heal. At the core, it is a mental health issue and one that often comes from those with BPD having trauma themselves (though not exclusively) -and so I feel compelled to acknowledge the struggle. However, under no circumstances does that make the behavior/treatment ok - and I have found there are those with BPD who understand and work hard to change and who can heal and change - and those who were never diagnosed and/or never think it's their issue. So, in many cases, people learn that their parents had these issues, and understand why, but we still and must choose to disengage, go no contact, etc - because it hurts us too much and they won't change. I am trying to reach those of us raised by those who have/had BPD- first - to validate and support and highlight it was never our fault -- and hopefully, if someone with BPD hears that I have room to understand - but I am also being very clear that it's not ok and it hurts as children (and adults) ----maybe they will consider getting help, work to change, etc. But please know, your feelings matter to me, and as I said, more than you might know, because I lived it too. xo

I am so sorry for all you struggle with, and it's so frustrating that we don't have better treatment and support/access. I know DBT can be helpful but certainly isn't the answer for everyone. I so appreciate you sharing - it's so good that you are in a healthy relationship and there can be so much healing in that...I wish you the best in your journey.

I don't think that is true. I do have BPD and I do love and miss people. But the second part about validation and regulation is true. I want to fix that.

Was she the golden child?

@@ABa-ve3ul No, more like the black sheep. She doesn't have to be, she just enjoys being mean and different.

Please ik it’s hard but try to talk to ur sister about it bc I have bpd and ik I’ve hurt my family and I really wish we could talk so I could explain what’s in my head

Yeah! My sadistic BPD mother committed violent sexual crimes against me and physically and psychologically tortured me as a child. There are supposed to be laws against child abuse, but she got away with it all…..why so much sympathy for child abusers? :(

As a victim, who ended up with some bpd traits, I don't find it invalidating either way. The stigma is true, but I find it necessary to know how they work in order to heal from the abuse. To know their pain was theirs, and they put it on me and it was not my fault. And I have to understand that my actions are likely to be hurtful and agressive when I'm raging, so I have to go do something else instead of acting out like I want to. And I have to remind myself constantly that I am safe and that I am loved, and that if anyone leaves me, i will respect their decision even if im screaming inside because its their life and they deserve to live how they want. The "stigma" I think goes for people who are trying to heal. I don't abuse, but if I told someone I have bpd traits, I don't think being immediately considered an abuser is healthy. Abuse is at the fault of the perpetrator not dealing with their emotions in healthy ways, not because of their disease. No disease or disorder means inherently that someone will abuse.

Agreed. Nobody should give a damn if psychopaths are "stigmatized". That should be society's goal!

@@jorydillard3766Thsts on being a bad person people will bpd still have the mental capacity to not do those crimes also you cant say all people with bpd deserve to be stigmatized some people with bpd internalize it they self harm why would you stigmatize the abuser does it help you heal from the abuse ? A better alternative would be healing bpd is thankfully treatable unlike narcissistic personality disorder there’s no discovered treatment

sounds like a holistic health practitioner who focuses on diet and exercise would help a lot.

Not only that it’s an enmeshment relationship. Mother-Daughter. I never wanted this. Ever. I told that I’m going to be a dentist and she then told me she’s gonna be my assistant etc etc. just trying to place herself in whatever plans I have. So I’m not going to tell her anything anymore

Why do you want another family? You need to heal and be alone far awhile. Don't rush into another serious relationship until you have done the work. She sounds like she is possessed. Just saying..

@@jessicahitchens6926 I would only want another family if I found an old fashioned woman who was loyal, hasn’t slept with more than 4 men, ( having slept with 6 or more guarantees she will not be able to pair bond and is probably and alpha widow who will never be happy,) under 30 and even tempered. I would need to be financially set for life which I’m working on. The women I interact with are still mentally children at 30. Slept with dozens of men and are not loyal. Not ready to grow up or have kids. They would abort any pregnancy as a matter of principle and think they will settle down in their 40’s and start a family then. They don’t understand how biology works with the ideal age to have children is 18 to 34 with 34 being the first year a woman has reduced fertility. After 35 a pregnancy is called a geriatric pregnancy and much more risky for the mother and the baby. This is why only 50 years ago people were engaged at 17 or 18 and married with kids at 20 or so to your high school sweetheart. This meant you marry a virgin who will most likely be loyal, see one more generation of grandchildren in your lifetime than if you start a family at 30 and your kids will be out of the house when you’re about 40. The new generation of women have not realized this and don’t get it until it’s too late and they can’t find a man at 40. They also don’t understand the quality of a man they can attract at 18 - 23 is much higher than the quality they will be able to attract at 30 or older. This is because men know the fertility window of a potential mate and to give our children the best chance at survival we need a heathy woman who has enough time to make a family before she’s too old. If I marry a 34 year old and it takes 3 years to conceive, there’s only time for her to have one child and she will probably not be interested in having more when she’s 38 or 40. I probably won’t be able to start another family in my lifetime because of those reasons. Right now I’m dating because I enjoy the company of women and don’t have much hope to find one I would settle down and start a family with. The culture is not conducive to stable relationships anymore. I actually thought my Ex was an old fashioned woman who wanted that kind of life until a couple of years into the relationship when she dropped the facade and became a full time modern nightmare. Borderline Personality Disorder can be dormant and surface when life gets stressful. 85% of divorce is initiated by the woman so if I don’t get a family, don’t get loyalty, get a woman after she’s been ran through by Chad and Tyrone plus half the town and is alpha widowed, will probably be served divorce papers and have my life ruined for the second time and have to start over in 12 years. I don’t see it happening and it’s not worth it. I’m over the ex wife now it’s been 5 years since the divorce and I’m happy just being alone or dating for fun. These women aren’t serious. They say they want a husband but they’re not happy, think finding a man will make them happy but they’re not going to be happy no matter what. As soon as they get married they will try and run the man’s life and change him into someone else. Men always complain that they married a happy normal woman and she changes into a nightmare and women always complain that they married a man and he won’t change. We don’t change. I’m the same as I was when I was 20. I like the same things and like having fun and treating my family with kindness. Women seem to change into ungrateful, entitled brats and attempt make men unhappy until they change. Which we won’t so they will continue to be unhappy until they file for divorce and secretly knew they would likely end up divorcing anyway and will be rewarded with cash and prizes. It’s a bad situation for us and our hard work isn’t rewarded, we’re punished for it. I had to work out of town sometimes when I was married and after the divorce I learned she was cheating on me every time I left town. She had been for years and justified it because I was out of town and “ wasn’t taking care of her needs.” When I was supporting her by giving her 100% of my income and working 70 hours a week.

You are so welcome, yes, many people talk about experiencing BPD abuse/rage...please take good care of yourself:)

@@DrKimSage thank you 🙏💜

May I just say that if you bothered to truly LISTEN to her so called Conspiracy Theories, you may well find some of them are not mere theories. There are many agendas in place now but most ppl have absolutely no idea of them yet they are there, hidden in plain sight. See facts, like the film.. Fluvid, & another.. Died Suddenly. On rumble or odyssey. After watching just those two short doco films, THEN you have at least shown her the respect not to simply dismiss her without checking for yourself first, as any rational person would.

Look into PMDD

Having traits during hormonal times may be more related to PMDD www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd. - though I could not diagnose obviously! Either way, getting help and an assessment/treatment is always a good idea when possible as PMDD can be extremely challenging. BPD is a personality disorder so it's like the skin wrapped around our body - we can't change it - unlike clothes we might change - if that makes sense. :).

I have BPD and this as well. But not every month

Your endocrine system is out of balance.

@@EnchanterBitter diet and exercise..... gi tract issues?

​@@EnchanterBitter very low sugar carb diet