Unification Day Parade | A 40k Parody Webcomic Dub 

Congratulations my lord. You beat the tutorial!

​@@Joannes808 I mean he did the great crusade in about the same time.

​@@noobatgames3321 No. The Crusade happened after he Conquered Terra.

@@terminallove3531 What he meant was that the unification wars lastest as long as the great crusade (probablay even longer).

@@lars1168 WTF?! It took him centuries to conquer a planet?!

"You can keep the palace, you can keep the empire and you can keep that over bloated pile of fool's gold you call an armor, but I ain't letting you keep the kids!" Erda 'mother of the millennium' probably.

@@Historyfrek4ever I found a heretic... I am gonna do my killing thing.

@@vindicareassassin271 i mean Big E isn't exactly "father of the year" material. Which dad, that is petty enough to kidnap his lost son and letting his friends die, instead of helping them with his near-immortal super-soldiers, is?

That already happened several decades prior. Alpharius was an adult when Unification Wars ended.

@@TheArklyte Ah, my bad.

Being a good Father figure is impossible.

Warhammer 40k God Emperor of Mankind Lore in 3 sentences:

Remember to thank the Legio Cataegis for their service.

@@J0hnHenrySNEEDen it's possible, the perfect ones ain't.

@@SetuwoKecik Especially with over a dozen sons to watch over...

Trollolo

oh no thats not Alpha Legion, thats Straight up Alpharius trolling the Custodes again during his youth while training under Malcador, remember his ability is to be seen by others as non-important, to the point where even primarchs can be fooled, we may see Alpharius in armour, they see a random guy just trolling them lol

@@erwannthietart3602 But what was he doing here. Was he putting tickets on the vehicles or bombs. The custodes where doing all they can to remove them.

@@stevenescobar3247 both? Or maybe he acted like policemen "The vehicule cant park here you shall be fined a mighty sum" "Oh you! The Emperor himself is here this is his escort kill him boys and take away the fine!" "I stand corrected you rise against an agent of the imperial law youre gonna get it so harsh Malcador will take 2minutes to reorganise the mess"

That's not random legolionaire, that's Alpharius. And to him Malcador was closer as father figure. So it's more like as if someone's biological and stepfather forgot them in car trunk somehow and they had to crawl out. Or maybe Alpharius is that kid that sneaked in to go alongside them on adventure? Hmm, considering that he was the only Primarch on Terra...

yes and many had access to ancient technology that was extremely dangerous

It was Terra. the centre point of an empire that Dwarfed all empires to exist (even the ancients didn't spread this much or grow this fast.) All that tech would have been left over, and only the brightest, the most ruthless and the most intelligent would have survived. The Emperor is great today, but he was simply a fish slightly bigger than the others in a large pond. After that point, everything else was a cakewalk.

@@spandanganguli6903 No wonder He created the Thunder Warriors, Custodes, Sisters of Silence and Space Marines to take them down

Terra was a mess full of the most advanced and dangerous tech. Also Chaos-enpowered Psyker warlords were dime a dozen. Erda says that by the time she ran into ol' Jimmy Space, he was just another warlord. Power mongering maniacs full of tech better left buried. All sorts of left-over technology doing things they weren't supposed to do - like thinking.

Because the Federation was the dominant power before its collapse. The heart, Terra. The Emperor is no different than a techno-barbarian STILL compared to the federation. Space marines mostly use old mining and garbage transport equipment for armor and vehicles. The Imperium at its height was still barely a flicker of what once was and what the Emperor wanted to get back to. Near all powerful perpetuals abandoned the Emps to attend other agendas or just give up entirely. Greatest threat to the Galaxy ever? The human federation collapsing. It was so bad that all races agreed that certain tech trees should not ever be touched again.

-Horus Lupercal from Hell, circa 000.M42

​@@ChaplainPhantasmIm*corpse* Emperor, whuba dub dub bib

I mean, the Emperor supposedly knew, even starting out, that humanity succeeding was a long shot, and so the level of risk that he must take is so extreme that he literally can only accomplish it through _magic_ (psionics)

@@dazeyndrowsy 🤓

@@sarubet8725 :D

He's just like Cain and Calgar.

He secluded himself not to work on the webway project, but just to have a good old long ass crying session

Well, not actually assassinate him. More like prove a point that the defenses in the palace aren’t good enough

Alpharius: Valdor, the palace's defense is garbage Valdor: impossible! this palace is the most heavily defended place in the galaxy Alpharius: bet *proceed to easily sneak in and hijack the defense turrets*

i want a sitcom of alpharius just trolling around the imperial palace as a teenager trying to create mock assassinations of the emperor to prove a point, with the custodes bumbling around trying to catch him.

The choas demons after the leaders say the war was bad: “hold my beer”

The emperor is older than all of the chaos gods they are the meddling kids

@@psychicmane7636 that's kind of true, they were all born supposedly during the middle ages, so the emperor was "born" before them, but they probably spent more time being formed in the warp, the emperor was able to have a time to appreciate the birth of his eternal enemies (and the complete formation of the last one who ruins everything)

@@seltafour7808 yeah too bad he didn’t have 2 brain cells to bring the only being capable of ruining his most important webway project magnus with him he was basically asking for a thorough ass whooping that is like superman handing his enemies kryptonite

@@psychicmane7636 ehm... no. The emperor is not older than the human race. The chaos god appeared after the war of heavens, in which old ones fought the necrons with the help of the krorks and the eldars, which created the demons. That happened millions. Even slaanesh, the younger of the chaos gods, is at least as old as the emperor.

remember when our tech boy (who revive the main bluberry BOY from the dead) fight a nercron lord with a box and it a freaking BLACK HOLE? yeah i dont think BIG E really having it ez on Terra lol

The Warp - the gift that keeps on giving ;)

Well, half of them actually did it, the other decide to stay loyal n' based, but in the end only 5 of them manages to survive, and them evryone started yo worship biggie-E as a god, the legions are only a thousand marine chapters, and the inquisition it's evrywhere.

Plus no Karen going Reeeeee and took away the kids.

@@rexlumontad5644 cause she Just throw away them across the galaxy, good things was they found 18 of them, Bad things is we don't talk about the other two unfound.

@@hectorluis7630 Erda or whatever the bitch's name is, is the peak example of why GW needs to have 40k stripped from them. They already ruined the old world by blowing it up so they can't make that any worse. But their constant fucking retconning of 40k lore needs to end. Take the following examples. "The Emperor was a well meaning, but imperfect hero and loving father struck down in his prime." Nope, now he's a deranged sociopath who saw his children as naught but tools. "The Emperor has natural born children alongside the Primarchs who serve Half of His Soul as Chaos Champions and Daemon Princes unique from The Champions and Imperial Saints of his regular Chaos God like Throne bound self." Nope. They're Tzeentchian heretics and The Star Child no longer exists. "The Emperor has been giving out boons, empowering his followers and actively helping maintain the imperium with his divine abilities ever since his ascension." Nope, now he's rarely interfered(even if that makes no sense and literally contradicts the new lore GW pushes.) and only now with The Great Rift does he interfere often. "The Loyal Primarchs, even the deceased ones. Act as minor chaos deities under The Emperor. Able to give out there own boons and gifts to their sons. Guilliman himself acts as a mini Empror upon his Marble Throne. Giving boons and even visions of the Future when being prayed too." Nope, that was all just The Emperor acting in their stead. The modern lore is a fucking mess.

@@hectorluis7630 The last two were found. They were lost and expunged for other, unknown reasons.

10k years later: ffffFFFFFFuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

well yes, but actually no

@@oliverwithers9736 alpharius, the last found and before the 'eresy had to make up for 100 years of everybody else's glorys. Add another 0 my boy.

@@lordmars2387 what 100,000 years later?

@@oliverwithers9736 nah just 100

wait what?

I can see that....

that would explain a lot of things.

Ciaphas Cain moment

The horus heresy was an elaborate scheme to fake his death and get out of actually having to govern the overstretched imperium. Khorne Slaanesh tzeentch and nurgle are paid actors

MOOOD KINDRED

Is this literally the most successful people in the Imperium? Just some random assholes bumblefucking their way into making the Imperium better somehow?

@@katamariroller2837 man that’s just humanity as a whole. And that’s what probably pissed off the Eldar so much. “They are nothing more than a group of bumbling fucking monkie! How are they doing this!”- Random high ranking Eldar.

@@LoganSearles fuck if we know, we just bumble in the right direction I guess.

@@lordfelidae4505 Where is enough of us to bumble in every direction, so at least one gets it right.

There kind of that, but instead of malky, it's kitten, and it's called "if the emperor had a text to speach device"

@@piksqu9544 Long Live the TTS, and FUCK GW!!!!!

TTS

I bet if we ask nicely, Bruva Alfabusa might do it.

@@unknownsir1565 he already does. Same characters diffrent ip.

Text. To. Speech. Device.

Famous last words: _”This_ time it’ll go smoother!”

@@UGNAvalon It is. Terra is like fighting on a glass bridge with nuclear weaponry. And I mean nuclear weaponry. That AK? Nuke, that Pistol? Nuke, That sword? Nuke. It's the epicenter of the golden age of technology. With Alpha lvl Psyker warlords. It was mad max premium plus 30k. His thunder warriors were mostly using leather and regular weaponry. The best of them were the ones to even have armor and bolter. Horus Heresy is easier than that. He got a legion, space ships, improved thunder warriors called Custodes, his Sons, etc.

@@dontuspowerus1093 Thunder Warriors (and Custodes) were running around in leather and with regular weapons (stubbers and lasweapons) early on, but one of the first things they did was adopt powered armor, which was pretty common among the techno-barbarians, Dark Age weapons (war booty power weapons and rad weapons) and eventually bolters and chainswords. Custodes were present at least during the Battle of Maulland Sen, one of the early campaigns of the Unification Wars. They're weren't a later development. And speaking of nukes, Thunder Warriors in lore talk about the enemy raining atomics on them during the Unification Wars. They were literally being nuked intensely enough to refer to it as rain. jfc "Even when the oligarchs of Kievan Rus had rained atomics from their black citadel and bathed the Sibir ice plain in radioactive fire, Kabe had advanced." -- Dreams of Unity

@@Dimetropteryx I emphasized on how hard the Unification wars was by saying that they started with literal Leather. Not Power Armor. Never mentioned the Custodes in the Unification wars because as it stands, they were never better equipped until much later in the Unification wars, wherein the emperor's conquest was reaching its Zenith that the hard work and effort that they did at the very beginning has already come to pass. The Unification Wars is metaphorically like starting with nothing in the middle of a boss fight. The Great Crusade is them with Full Netherite Gear. As for the rest. You didn't get what I said as it's a form of a metaphor. The Glass Bridge represents the Earth. And what I mean by Nuclear Weaponry, I meant NUCLEAR OPTION. Weapons that can cause not just Mass destruction, but mass Extinction, and since the Dark age of technology weaponry is in abundance at that time, ALL WEAPONS ARE NUCLEAR OPTIONS. Did you forget or did you just skimmed what I typed?! The Earth is literally an important intergalactic planet because it houses the webway. Something Big E cannot afford to lose. He was literally walking on eggshells due to those "Nuclear Options" while having Alpha Psykers roaming around the entire globe. His crusade throughout the galaxy is easier than this despite the large scale war compared to one planet because he is free to mostly unleash a lot of his power without major setbacks like accidentally destroying the Golden Throne and without the threat of an unknown entity/a person coming in and destroying it. Especially since during the great crusade, he pretty much had the Earth secured.

With Terra he obviously also had to fight EVERY war in conventional ways, no colossal spaceships to just level one continent. And that on a Mad Max Hiveworld, its all fucking urban combat and then some.

It's only human to make mistakes lord.

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAHHHHHHHhEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH......SHIT.....SO MUCH HORROR AND BLOOD AND GUTS AND TECHNO BARBARIAN MADNESS.....ehehehehheheheh..aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.....sigh..oh jeez..I need to lie down and rest now"

It was hilarious!

INQUISITOR?! THIS MAN RIGHT HERE!

@@RulerOfLight I would argue the emperor's weaknesses and flaws make him the true god of humanity, for perfection is a lie whispered by Slaanesh. And therefor to define the emperor as flawless and perfect is disrespectful and ungrateful.

What matters is not the Emperor's form or manner, but his purpose and intentions.

Man-Emperor of Mankind indeed.

Oh 100% agreement. The most gifted Perpetual did his best though even if it was flawed and ill-guided by predecessors or friends.

Isn't that all humans? The emperor had a dream and a vision, and just like anyone else, he needed luck and hope

Eyyy

Wouldn't be surprised if got wrapped up into some Eclisarchal bs.

@@mercerholt8299 obviously

I would be fine with seeing that emperor, but I already dislike astartes scientist and cawl and erda and so honestly it's better if they just leave it alone. I'd honestly say he'd be upset, but in the end it still sort of did work out in his favour regardless of what his full intentions were. Humanity has banded under the imperium and humanity for all it's faults have kept to the core of the imperium. Humanity first.

This fed 😂

oh yes i read that i a book once. they were very much a nightmare to face

Fun ending: The emperor say hello to his grandson and the Infiltrator is happy to tell him the truth................................................ _The Alpha legion is loyal_

Well he literally grew up trolling the custodies and invented the blood games doing so

So.. the Same but without all the Fronting and faking supremacy..

To be fare they had no choice.

​@Metaphysicist Am pretty sure it was they're decision to do that

​@@mordredpendragon1235 of course it was, and it was glorious. Humanity may rise once more.

I feel 1.5x was better XD

that explains a lot of things

Which basically easier, at least until Horus turned edgy

It does take time to 'come alive' again and still more time to unlock the memories from previous bodies. The emperor is unique in that he hasn't died and basically lived humanity through all of history.