Unlikely Things to Hear on a Train - Mock the Week, Series 9, Episode 9 Highlight - BBC Two

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Dara O Briain and the team suggest some unlikely things to hear on a train.
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5 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 541

@alisonstewart143 8 лет назад

'Hmmm i wonder if i should take my personal belongings with me when I get off this train. If only there was an announcement that could help me....' LOL andy parsons. Love his sarcasm so much :D

@looseconnections8233 8 лет назад

Kevin Bridges absolutely nailed this...

@InformationIsTheEdge 5 лет назад

"Don't worry, I know a short-cut." BWA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! That was so good!

@darijoe1 2 года назад

"Hello, this is the train speaking. I know we're running a bit late, but don't worry. I know a shortcut." The best 20 words ever spoken on Mock the Week!

@themightygallium9509 Год назад

Thomas, doing his first run on the branch line:

@Pining_for_the_fjords 9 лет назад

"If anybody knows how to drive a train, will you please make your way to the front."

@TheOmegaRiddler 3 года назад

Thanks for driving the train, now could you make your way to the back. I need to get home before my wife finds my search history.

@Bessiee93 12 лет назад

Milton's "hello, this is the train speaking" made me laugh so much! :L

@thebrummierailenthusiasts5329 2 года назад

Made me laugh a lot too

@TheIllusiveMan11 5 лет назад

"The train will be arriving in Paris in just five minutes. We apologize for the redirection to those heading to Glasgow"

@Futurevenomzone 8 лет назад

"Could the passenger causing a disturbance In the quiet coach please settle down and stop shouting about your heart medicine"

@TheThirdKiller 14 лет назад

"Due to staff shortages I am unable to finish this announ." LEGENDARY.

@panthadogg 10 лет назад

"Uh, due to faults, this train will only stop at the sound of a buzzer." (buzzer)

@mikethestrange 12 лет назад

"hello.. this is the train speaking.." bahahaha!! I'm always going to this of that when I get on a train now!! AWESOME!!

@saladshla 12 лет назад

"We are now going past Sheffield, and can all passengers in 1st class please pull back their window blinds, and take a look at the real world." Gets me every time. XD

@khalidamajoud4114 Год назад

The Scotish guy killed it! 😂😂😂

@Ginger_Dalek 5 лет назад

Extremely unlikely things to hear on a train: "This train will be arriving on time."

@dylanhodgson7605 2 года назад

What about this train is arriving early

@DezzaManezza154 12 лет назад

"Would the driver please contact the guard........we have no idea where you are" Love it! :')

@AutomaticDuck300 14 лет назад

Now that Frankie has gone, Andy Parsons is suddenly a hell of a lot funnier. He's really come into his own. Everything he says in Scenes We'd Like To See is hilarious.

@turtlesandwich77 Год назад

He's the new guardian of the racist door

@shortround551 8 лет назад

"Please do not be afraid of the locomotive, I know they have giant faces on them and are sentient, but they are our slaves and if they don't do as they're told they get scrapped"

@mckenzie-grayeevans5876 5 лет назад

Dr Moriarty I really like how you talk, reminds me of a super villain.😂😂

@DJ_Maysonic 4 года назад

@Dr Moriarty technically it can be both, sapient is just more specific

@DJ_Maysonic 4 года назад

@Dr Moriarty what I mean is that the joke of the original comment does still work with the word sentient as trains aren't sentient either

@mckenzie-grayeevans5876 4 года назад

@Dr Moriarty Thank you, just don't vaporise me. ;)

@mckenzie-grayeevans5876 4 года назад

@Dr Moriarty (gulps).

@escapedlunatic27 3 года назад

"Will the driver please contact the guard?" I have actually heard this one - train was delayed because they couldn't find the driver. They eventually gave up on finding the one who was supposed to be driving it, and it was only able to leave when a different driver was found. I'm guessing the second one was a bit annoyed to be dragged away from his tea break, and whenever they did eventually find the first he probably got fired.

@xtheamazingax 2 года назад

Whoa… I can’t imagine how annoying that must’ve been…

@shazaibbiazahs 9 лет назад

i was expecting a Thomas the tank engine joke oh well

@rockacraig5653 8 лет назад

miltons last joke was along those lines.

@lukerogers151 8 лет назад

+Rocka Craig Loving the pun there, sir.

@rockacraig5653 8 лет назад

Luke Rogers I thank you.

@derkateramabend 4 года назад

“This Southern Rail service will be arriving ahead of schedule.”

@steveprice638 4 года назад

'The train now arriving on platform 8......is on time.'

@kylestubbs8867 3 года назад

Milton only got one joke in this time. But he made it a good one.

@MissMiffed 14 лет назад

"Will the driver please contact the guard. We have no idea where you are."

@apowerfulflower 6 лет назад

As a resident in the West Midlands, I can confirm that Kevin Bridge's 'joke'? about JD Sports and Wolverhampton is 100% accurate and correct to it's form.

@victororia2250 Год назад

I have never understood the joke. What does it mean?

@apowerfulflower Год назад

@@victororia2250 Wolverhampton is generally viewed as a chav city in the whole of West Midlands, where people there typically wear tracksuit bottoms.

@sorankurdi 11 лет назад

my favorite bits is when they do a follow up joke to each other

@Gongasoso 10 лет назад

"Next stop, Picadilly Circus... you clown!"

@Gongasoso 9 лет назад

I'm surprised someone actually liked this!

@Kemonokami 12 лет назад

"There is no need to panic, but due to technical difficulties involving the time-space continuum, we will be late to arrive at Nottingham for an undisclosed period of time. In the meantime, please enjoy your stay in Canterlot."

@itsnotalwaysblackandwhite8624 4 года назад

The timing of all the Comedians on Mock The Week is immaculate.

@Tec_Two 12 лет назад

Hugh Dennis's timing is perfect :D

@Madfattdeeb 7 лет назад

By the time I heard the train talking about a shortcut, I was dying of laugher. I so miss this show.

@Gongasoso 10 лет назад

"Now entering bullet train. No guns allowed."

@jonathancreamer2479 10 лет назад

would the owner of a ford mustang please move or we will die

@georgeparkins777 6 лет назад

You’d be surprised how far a train can push a car with minimal damage to itself.

@IrishKeshiHead 12 лет назад

"This is Derek, my daddy is a train driver and i'm helping him today.. oh what does that button do daddy"

@Tigathee 12 лет назад

I was on the train the other day, and the announcement said "This train is now arriving at London Waterloo. Contrary to popular practice, this train is on time. Sing and dance on your way to work."

@spotoftrouble 12 лет назад

The hot food joke gets me everytime

@Stroija 11 лет назад

"We're happy to inform the passengers that we'll be arriving to the destination in time!"

@TheJoemillis 8 лет назад

"We are now entering Glasgow. What the fuck were you thinking?"

@SuperKleeneze 13 лет назад

i like it when they link jokes together

@sweiland75 10 лет назад

"If you didn't want to get there on time, you should have taken the bus"

@horrorpunkmetal 13 лет назад

The Scottish guy is the best here! All his lines were brilliant

@NateSean 8 лет назад

"Attention passengers, there is a train unloading passengers at the next stop. I'm not actually slowing the train down, I just thought you'd like a heads up before impact." ~ Every Boston Green Line operator in the past two years.

@whynotanorange 13 лет назад

i really love it when a comedian continues another's line xDDDD "Would the driver please contact the guard? We have no idea where you are." "This is the driver... contacting the guard. Where am I?!"

@hegotaspare 4 года назад

“The next stop will be hammer time”.

@marcelmoreau2733 4 года назад

"Uh... any one know how to control this thing? The ad I answered wasnt clear and I was under the impression of a different meaning for pulling a train."

@Fedluke 14 лет назад

This is the best part of the show and also the the funniest one I've seen so far

@eggspress8043 6 лет назад

my entry 'hello passengers, the train has arrived on time, thank you for riding with us'

@ryanforsyth956 7 лет назад

"today is oposite day. please stay away from the gap"

@Lotto15719 6 лет назад

“We would like to inform those travelling on the 18:26 Northern Service to Leeds, this will be departing on time.”

@McPrfctday 12 лет назад

One of the best 'unlikely things' ever. Every comedian has got a list of public transport jokes as long as their arm.

@michaeljagger7673 9 лет назад

''if youre children suffer from a fear of the dark we are about to enter a 3 mile tunnel ha ha ha''

@jaggass 4 года назад

''Before we go through the Channel Tunnel we'll be switching off all the lights in each carriage so you can do whatever you want like giving a passenger a bloody good hiding for giving you a dirty look, scream how scared of the dark you are or even run up and down each carriage stark naked''

@noodengr3three825 5 лет назад

Having just ridden Amtrak across the USA I can so relate. Thanks

@59parksimple6 11 лет назад

Hot food is available because the buffet car is on fire which of course would happen if this was a top gear challenge trying to make a train made with caravans driven by james may

@jillbrady4036 3 года назад

This episode was hilarious 🤣 😍Loved it!

@pineapplepenumbra 4 года назад

Many years ago I was on a train and a group of Americans were laughing at the name "Hemel Hempstead", as it's got the word, "hemp" in it. Some people are easily amused.

@Kevin-mx1vi 3 года назад

Yeah, they're called "Americans". The same people who thought that Donald Trump was a good idea.

@pineapplepenumbra 3 года назад

@@Kevin-mx1vi To be fair, not all of them did.

@pineapplepenumbra 3 года назад

@@Kevin-mx1vi Mind you, this is the same country that came up with that appalling song, "Americans, That's Who" by the Gatling Bros (I haven't checked the spelling of their surname, so it could be wrong).

@YesIamEccentric 12 лет назад

Unlikely to hear on a train: 'We are running ahead of schedule'

@timorgano 8 лет назад

This is the South West Trains service to anywhere, we are running on time today

@jaggass 8 лет назад

''This train is expected to arrive on time you don't hear that every day do you?''

@Syvorji 11 лет назад

This is the train speaking...

@count7340 4 года назад

'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking ... '

@87654321j 2 года назад

Hot food is now available As the buffet car is on fire 🤣

@thebrummierailenthusiasts5329 2 месяца назад

0:23 I think that word should go to bleep after Andy says the word he said

@LisaB976 13 лет назад

the moment when Milton Jones walks to the mic and you know something amazing is going to be said.

@kylestubbs8867 2 года назад

For the record, he only had one joke this time.

@giusweep 12 лет назад

Love Andy's little jump at the end!

@chrisgarton4225 5 лет назад

To those of you wondering what that low toned sound was, that wasn’t the train whistle, that was the huge fart I did.

@sunshineslowking5025 3 года назад

This is the best Scenes We'd Like To See they ever did.

@alexitrinune 6 лет назад

"Unlikely things to see in a RU-vid comment section" *THIS ONE*

@toyotasera55 13 лет назад

The awkward moment which is now so common it hardly seems annoying any more and we can look back and laugh in a few years

@TheClaudHamilton 12 лет назад

Here's one that that might work for this one; "We apologise for the astronomical delay to this service; this was caused by poor scripting on the part of HiT Entertainment."

@alextowers7564 3 года назад

This is the driver, contacting the guard. I think there was a problem with the carriage coupling. We set off ten minutes ago.

@scottwlfc 12 лет назад

"We are glad to inform you that the train heading for Birmingham on platform 4 is actually on time"

@Lord_Skeptic 5 лет назад

The train has been cancelled. This is due to someone hijacking it so they can push their delorean up to 88 MPH.

@snowcuckoo1978 14 лет назад

Would the driver contact the guard. LMAO

@highgirlstar2000 13 лет назад

Milton is so awesome.

@HereticDuo 6 лет назад

This is your captain speaking, we will be arriving at Gatwick in approximately 15 minutes, thank you for flying Virgin Atlantic.

@naterymer050 13 лет назад

'Hello...this is the train speaking...I know we're running a bit late, but don't worry...I know a shortcut...' Absolutely pissed myself with laughter, luv Milton Jones!! :)

@antonymilne1346 4 года назад

Nice little jab at Sheffield. And as a Sheffielder, I 110% agree. It isn't the worst here but locals nickname it "Shitty Sheffield" for a reason.

@BillieWille909 12 лет назад

Unlikely things to hear on a train.... Silence!;)

@Hunte7M 13 лет назад

could the passenger causing a disturbance in the quiet coach please settle down and stop shouting about your heart medicine lmao!! i couldnt stop laughing at that one

@benjones1527 4 года назад

Am from Hemel Hempstead, can confirm nobody here is a virgin.

@michaeljagger7673 9 лет назад

''if you want a free ride just hide in the toilets''

@johnpiller391 4 года назад

my favourite, I'm sorry I can't give you a reason for the delay as the bloody signaller won't answer the phone.

@HairyHariyama 11 лет назад

That one reminded me of the Top Gear episode in which the presenters made a train out of a car and a few caravans. Anyone familiar with Top Gear should have no trouble seeing/guessing the connection.

@dylanhodgson7605 2 года назад

James that’s my job

@Potionette81 2 года назад

'Ladies and gentlemen, my apologies for the delay. We are just waiting for Skimbleshanks to give us a flash of his glass-green eyes, and then we'll have our all-clear signal to depart'.

@AlanFrance21 12 лет назад

Coffee is now being served in the Buffet Car. £5.00 a slice.

@scsutton1 Год назад

"Welcome onboard this Southern Rail service. We are running to a full, on time schedule."

@dez3540 Год назад

I seldom have a problem with Southern - 9 times out of 10, it runs bang on time 😂

@jackoftrades80home 12 лет назад

I was once on a train when a conductor got himself locked in the bathroom and had to use the PA system to call the guard to get him out.

@michaeleddy2415 6 лет назад

This train has been cancelled but we are not surprised because it’s Northern Rail

@SidneyBroadshead Год назад

*_Mock the Week_* (S9, Ep09; September 23, 2010) Team 1: Andy Parsons (captain 1), Kevin Bridges, Patrick Kielty Team 2: Russell Kane, Hugh Denis (captain 2), Milton Jones

@werewolfprincess1998 12 лет назад

awesome !! i love that word

@MrMikeJkay 12 лет назад

"We have now arrived into Birmingham new street, we are pleased to inform any passengers wishing to change for Wolverhampton that there's a JD's sports opposite the station" haha it's soo true and im from round that area too haha :'D

@WardyLion 6 лет назад

This service is running exactly on time!

@wwe4everfav 12 лет назад

This is a service announcement. Anyone wishing to travel past Fenchurch Street is advised to get off the train, as I am about to go on strike for the 6th time on this journey.

@greenguerrilla 12 лет назад

1:33. Nice one!

@locky300 12 лет назад

'now serving hot food as the buffet car is on fire' this did happen...when top gear made a train xD

@ejcmoorhouse 12 лет назад

To those passengers who have just joined we are running on time are expected to arrive at our last stop early. Now that is unlikely!!?!

@KayleighNatasha 12 лет назад

''We have now arrived into Birmingham New Street, we are pleased to inform any passengers wishing to change for Wolverhampton that there is a JD Sports opposite the station''