Unserious generational traumas we're breaking I Episode 112 

An unserious generational trauma I'm breaking is painful braiding. I don't want my babies to cry in the salon and be told "BEAUTY HURTS"😭no pllllleeeeaassseee!

Please lets all gather here for people who want Joan and Lydia to do an episode of serious generational trauma .

Breaking the generational trauma of believing grown ups just because they are grown. Kids can also tell the truth.This is horrible guys 😢

I can proudly say I broke the second generational curse without even noticing it. My kid dropped a plate the other day and I was okay with it, I did not even get angry at her as I saw it was a mistake the plate was hot. I was even shocked how calm I was and just moved on to the next step and we cleaned it together. I patted myself on the back for that. Issue definitely addressed!

A generational trauma I am breaking is comparing my kids to other kids, or to each other. I am teaching my daughter that she never has to be like anyone else, because she is perfect as she is

I'm breaking the generational trauma of having a family just so to please family members... I'm having a family coz I feel ready n in the season for it.

This might be a little serious but a generational trauma I'm breaking is showing my children that love isn't transactional. That they don't have to be the smartest or good at something to prove that they are worthy of love. ❤ Lovely episode ladies ❤

We should break the generational trauma of evicting kids from their rooms for adults to sleep on their beds😢this used to hurt soo much

My mum used to say..HAKUNA KITU YA MGENI..😂😂We used everything.kwanza those smart ones😂😂....I got shocked when people told me wakona za wageni. .l😂.....My mum didn't give me trauma ❤❤ About Food😂😂i hated cereals ..my mum ensured i ate meat daily upto date..Never forced to eat... now i appreciate that she respected that ❤❤... On black tax ...i thank God she worked on her sources of money😊😊.. i give as gift not as basic...she encourages me to build on myself😊😊🎉

Not loving my spouse. I've never seen my parents enjoy each other's company and I'm in my 30s. They are both growing old, and I can confirm that life can be lonely, especially during retirement. Love the one you have otw you will reap what you sow. Love your partner, work on your marriage or pull the plug early. There's no warmth in a single person's marriage.

I'm 22 and trust you me when my dad calls me in the morning I have to clear my throat and take some water just to make sure it seems like I was awake like an hour earlier 😅😂😂I mean like even during the day it has to seem like I am doing something other than watching and sitting around 😂😂 ata akiwa home during off and we are all there, unless it's chatting with him we have to be doing something Kwanza ata tunaweza maliza kupiga story na yeye time ya breakfast alafu akimaliza story ako like,"mbona bado hamjaosha vyombo?" Kwani tulikua tupige story tukiosha vyombo ama🤦‍♀️😂😂 but I love this man like crazy ❤️ This is definitely the trauma I want to break

Seeing this video made me appreciate my parents more especially mum since dad was always away for work. My mother used to serve us food with all the beautiful utensils, she encouraged us to wear 'Sunday best' even on weekdays . She never forced any of us to eat food. I was a slim child growing up and my aunties would sometimes complain of my body size but my mom told them that as long as the doctor said my BMI was okay nothing else mattered. I really appreciate her so much.

A trauma i would want to one day break once i become a mum,, throwing negative comments at kids,,i had two of my aunts throw some at me on different occasions,' you are so complicated,,you can't do that,,,'people need to realize that although at times kids may not understand the weight of those words at that moment,those words actually take root in their hearts and since they respect and somehow believe in adults' opinions,they begin to see themselves through those lenses...with time it affects their self-esteem,,we should affirm our kids more ,speak positivity unto them ,,,hoping to do so to my kids in future

My mom started telling me she loves me this year. Yeah it's just through text, but nothing makes my day like seeing that "nakupenda sana mum" at the end of her text. I'm 24.

I agree on the "no punishing kids when they accidentally break items". I can also add that people should stop beating kids for being kids. At times we expect children to behave like adults when they are just being kids. Also, people should stop judging children today based on what we went through. People saying things like, "today's children are so weak. We used to go to school barefoot/ without snacks/on foot etc". We did not go through that for being strong, it was poverty, for some, or the norm at that time for others. As for ice-cream containers, I am not ready to give them up, yet. Let me start by learning to throw away the blender carton 😅😅

For the plastic containers, It is all about sustainability. When you throw it, where does it go? So those ice cream tins should actually be recycled. It may not be "cool" but we are actually in a mess when it comes to managing plastics.

For me, it's a BIG YES ON REUSING ICEREAM AND OTHER PLASTIC CONTAINERS. Reason - Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. We need to really show a lot of love to our environment.

Breaking the generation trauma of body shaming kids i.e wewe na hiyo kichwa Yako kubwa ....

Breaking the generation curse of not bringing more generations that was hilarious and bold😄

Lydia your first comment on punishing kids when they accidentaly break things; as i type this, it is wednesday and just yesterday when i got home , my 2gals told me their young bro 2yrs hit the TV with a spoon. put it on the screen is gone, its intresting even my Dayburg xpected me to beat my boy, so i understand, I did not beat him and told him to come hug me as usuall when i come in, even Baba later when He came, he did not beat the young boy, but told him not to do it ever again, so yeah we have to unlearn.

Am listening to this with my husband and where Lyd said she broke a table had us laughing so hard. Then my hubby said when he was in high school he took a glass plate to boarding school, his mom wrote him a letter 🤣 am here rolling on the floor. 😆😆

The day my mum apologizes to me... I shall sing from the rooftops. I will seriously rejoice

Its the CONSISTENCY for me. Well done Ladies🎉

Thanks miss Murugi, glad to see an African mom openly speak about not spanking children. Spanking, beating children is CHILD ABUSE( emotional and physical) and simply must stop 🛑!!! I am truly passionate about this and parents have to focus more on intentional parenting.

As someone who tries to reduce my use of plastics, I try to re-use my containers when possible. I have never thought of it as an intergenerational issue, but more about sustainability. (Hope no one will be triggered by this comment!). I have to say that one thing I am trying to NEVER go back to is being a people-pleaser. It has made me lose 'friends' and acquaintances, but I am glad to be doing life on my own terms. Also, I don't have 'vyombo vya wageni'. I use everything and I will allow my kids to use any piece of crockery, or utensils.

This episode triggered me😭😭One time I told my mum I loved her and she said thanks 🙄Lemme tell you the drama! You have to set boundaries with your parents. And being the last born I was never respected and in therapy I discovered that that’s why I get triggered when my partner forgets to do things that I tell him because my mind processes that as NOT BEING HEARD! I had to set serious boundaries with my family including my mum. 🙌🏼

This one might be radical but breaking the cycle of addressing our parents' friends/ acquitances/colleagues as auntie or uncle so & so. The only aunties & uncles are ma siblings, everyone else is addressed as miss,mr or lady so & so. "Am breaking all generational curses by not bringing more generations."😂😂😂 That comment for the 🏆!

Another generational trauma that needs to be broken is forcing your children to call every adult aunt or uncle. Especially without even explaining to them who the person really is to them. It is absurd to assume that just because a child refer to someone as aunt or uncle they are being respectful.

The generation trauma I'm trying to break in my life is being an overthinker coz it's just draining... it's like everybody nowadays is just normalizing it and literally it's breaking us from the inside, health wise and physically...... Much love Queenmates❤❤❤❤

Parentification...you got me there,I've always been a parent to my younger siblings for sooo long to the point where my mum had to fly out and all the responsibility was dumped on me whereas my dad did nothing half the time...I'm breaking that by saying no to parent more often when it comes to responsibilities that are for them. Another comment that triggers me is when older people say "your lucky your parenting at this young age, you'll find it easier when you are married and have kids👀"...so thank you for this episode because for awhile I've been considered a rebellious child while all I want to do is be a child

Anytime I throw away plastic trash , I worry about where it will end up . If I can reuse am definitely recycling. I have no glasses in my house....they just keep breaking. ...and am an adult with no kids .

we put too much emphasis on physical and verbal abuse, but withdrawing priviledges is emotional abuse. its just more subtle and less tangible therefore often overlooked as potential harm.

i am a first daughter, first niece and first granddaughter so for some reason i was treated like an adult. i actually got traumatised because i knew too much stuff. stuff that i wasnt old enough to know.

It looks like poverty is/was the root of all generational trauma! As Africans I pray we’re all delivered from poverty.

The margarine and ice cream containers are for take away for guests. My Tupperware doesn’t leave my house because it will not come back. Since I don’t get guests now, I need to de clutter, thank you for the reminder 😊😊

Reusing those ice-cream containers is good for the env. Lol. Tupperware was not widely found back in the day. Our parents were proper reduce-reuse-reclyclers. Before it eas trendy.

I went for therapy and broke down the entire session and couldn't express myself. I didn't show up for my next session. Three months later, I am ready to start again with a different therapist and I can't wait to see how it goes.

I was from washing a glass water jar as a 10-year-old, my mum was not at home, and I did not know how to explain it especially because I was a playful child. 😅 The one time I was being extra careful is when that happened. I was sure I was going to be beaten, but shockingly I was forgiven. I had a fever that whole night as I waited to report honestly what had happened. On the other hand, my dad respected my feelings, we actually would speak and communicate at the level where we were. He teaches you and also tells you the consequences of your actions good or bad. I am in therapy for emotional eating so I can relate. It does not matter what you say, to this day, if you show up at home and do not eat what is served, you are ungrateful, why did you come at all. It is easier not to show up. They regard overfeeding as love because of the resources put in (time, effort, money). I want to break the curse of not showing up to family gatherings I do not relate with. I do not know the person, and have nothing with them but I have to go to their wedding, contribute, etc. Ohhhh I broke that sarcasm 4 years ago. 🤣

Parents not apologizing… oooh let’s break the trauma. Just say you are sorry

The generational curse I’m breaking is that my kids will be allowed to put their feet on the couch😂 to date I can put my legs on parents couch when I’m back home 😂😂😂

That one about not getting mad when children break stuff and not physically hurting your kids hit home hard. People might think that it's dumb but there are other parenting styles that are actually help you raise descent human beings without causing life long traumas. I am learning. When I am so mad I want to chapa my girl so bad, i remember how it felt when my mum downed her anger and frustrations on me in the name of discipline. (she did not know better, love you mama). But I do, so I am doing it better.

Murugi's dad and my dad same wassap...please tell me why we have 2 househelps and he will be like sasa juu umekaaa hapo kwa tv unafanya kazi gani?unasaidia aje? ah please let me be...mimi im an unpaid employee and thats about to change asap

on that not wanting to have children point...actually its not even about not being able to be a good parent..personally i just dont want to bring up my child in this kind of society/world. its honestly rotten and it gets worse by day. they better not come.

About the forcing children to eat its really subjective, I have a little sister (3)she likes to snack and hates eating really food so we have to force her to eat for the nutritional value that the snacks don't have

These non serious traumas actually lead to real trauma, that is why we should al be in therapy. The need to finish all your food negatively impacts your relationship with food. The whole idea of having special plates for visitors now where is your self esteem? In the dustbin. Parenting is truly a tall order. Let's all actively work towards ending these generational traumas.

Everyday i realize how bad our childhood was and still is😮‍💨The day my parents ,my mum especially, will accept correction and apologize on how bad her parenting is ,i will go pray and fast on top of Mt Kenya FOSHOOO

Watching this and I literally feel sorry for our younger selves man!🥺 All things we went through in the name of culture and discipline that really was unnecessary! May we be healed adults and communities and put a full stop to these unserious generational traumas.

The you guys are married to spoons line should be on a tshirt 🤣🤣🤣🤣

On the point of forcing kids to eat, I think sometimes the situation at hand matters. Take for example if the food is greens or vegetables and the child doesn’t want to eat them, I think that’s where some parents come in to force the child to eat the food. Not necessarily that it’s the convenience of the parent but the food has nutritional benefits to the child but the child would rather eat candy or junk food than the vegetables.

Spanking isn't necessarily abuse.. but I acknowledge there is a thin line there. Just like there are other non-spanking punishment that can traumatise 🤷‍♀️

On the parentification point... I feel parents don't realize how much resentment older siblings can carry for the younger ones just coz they were forced to be second parents. Like it's not the younger child's fault that you were forced to grow up too fast. Speaking as a second born who doesn't think she'll ever have a sibling relationship with their older sibling

TMI has become my support system❤

Lyd: someone has said they want to break black tax Murugi: maybe they don’t have money Me: Murugiiiiiiiiii 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Consistency on point 😍 Murugi trending on LNN and the shoot yesterday for the magazine You guys are bomb❤

Murugi's sense of humour 😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥

Didn't realize the reason i hate bread is cause of generational trauma.Lol

I believe when it comes to gentle parenting, there's got to be a balance... You don't need to cause your child pain, but you need to make them aware that hate, resentment, rejection and disappointment in life does exist and if you as a parent can't teach your child how to deal with pain, rejection and all that, they will sure find it hard to thrive in this world. Wonder why your loving child committed suicide??? Or did something unexplainable and yet you raised them with lots of love.... So in as much as we all love gentle parenting, we need to create that balance to raise a full functioning adult. My thoughts

You guys are doing so much for everyone by having conversations abt this uncomfortable topics. I'm just so glad to have this opportunity to listen to you ❤

Just seeing Lydia and murugi my day start at noon in Wednesday

Am unlearning, relearning and learning ❤❤❤❤. Thank you Murugi and Lydia.

I was that last born who used to be sent around all the time, especially when watching my favorite show. Lydia I'm with you on breaking the generational gap of producing more generations.

I was raised being told that beating children is Biblical. The reference was always, 'Spare the rod, spoil the child.' I'm in my early 20s and if I decide to have children, this will change.

Was questioning my parenting style but after watching i am fore sure proud that hv broken a huge percentage of traumas i encountered as achild n honestly admit i hv been reacting negatively wen my gals broke a plate or came bak from playin with dirty clothes.Great impact ladies.❤ Frm Uganda

Great points...but on the plastics,let's be climate concious please...we can reuse plastics or buy from eco-friendly brands that don't put out single use plastics...these things go into our oceans

Omg this episode has made me understand myself better. My mum gave room for my opinion in almost everything, she answered my questions and made understand why things had to be the way they are. As grown up, I just Don't take things as a BTW. I have to understand why, how , when , who. Raising my kids I explain things they don't understand for example she wonders why we leave in the morning and come back late.. I told her we have to work to buy food and pay bills and she no longer cries when we live. I have enjoyed and reasonated with your views

Another unserious trauma I would like to break is comparing siblings and only complimenting girls when they wear make up or do additional stuff to their bodies. Baby girl you are beautiful periodt! Makeup is not the foundation of your beauty.

We have a lot of these trauma's to break and you ladies are doing a great job at helping us do that ❤❤❤🎉🎉

There's a difference between deciding to not partake in black tax; this is rooted in obligation and people that had no stakes in you being where you are and want parts in it(like there has some grounding in someone not wanting to 'contribute' ) while what white people do is more of individualism as opposed to what we practice in African societies which is communism

Y'all look so good 😍 the set, your outfits, make-up 🤌🏽 everything came together so well!

Asiye funzwa na mamaye atafunzwa na ulimwengu is actually a positive Swahili saying encouraging children to listen to their parents and for parents to do the work to positively prepare their kids for the greater good of the world😊😊😊😊😊

As a first born i must break it, i didn't enjoy being a child even tho the little one do a mess I'll be beaten with them coz i didn't discipline them as the elder one 😢 let me continue watching now 😂the trauma is Traumering

I totally agree with ALL the points save for the plastics. Reuse to limit the plastic waste that is ongoing. Sometimes the child that was made a parent is not the first born. I'm #3 and I was made coparent at 11years of age... the only reason I no longer am one is because I went broke some years back. I was not interested in being a parent because I never wanted any of my kids to have a mom like I had but we make plans God laughs. Mine would be telling my child/ren I love you. I tell mine any and all the time. I don't understand why it feels embarrassing to express love to our children in public but I'm shedding that burden daily. As usual, GOOD job ladies. ❤️👏

I will never raise my hand to physically harm my child as punishment or a way to establish dominance... coz to be honest it teaches them to do the same 😢. Also I remember how remorseful I was after doing smth wrong... I was genuinely sorry but still got beaten for it and all it did was make me resent my mom and hate myself

But, there’s some value in recycling containers. Save the planet.

I wish this episode was longer . Much love ❤️

My mum needs to watch this !!

Fav episode fr!!

Thanking God for your consistency🙏🏼🎉🎉🎉

TMI to the world🥳🥳🥳Now my wednesday is complete❤

It's definitely tmi true to what murugi is saying about the plastic containers for storage 😊

❤️❤️❤️ here for TMI

I've waited for this episode ❤

Aki murugi and Lydia me huwaona nafeel poa tu😍. Tmi content has really impacted my life.

An unserious generational trauma I'm breaking is vitamba on the seats... You should see the way my whole life vitamba day is my worst I could do a whole podcast on this.. About the punishment for breaking stuff.. As a kid I used to shiver if my shoe/slipper katikad one time a neighbour had to help me fix it cause I was crying in preparation for the canning surely 😢😢😢.. I think the kids punishment/beating this is a serious one

Yes Lyd...we appreciate you sharing information that ia not relatable to us. That's how we learn.

But container za ice cream huwa life savers. It's economical guys. At least we're saving money 😅

Yaaay❤...... I'll teach myself to comment after watching😂😂 I love this podcast😍🧡

Murugi's laughter just made my day 🥺

Watching this later in the day. Wueh! You ladies are preaching👌🏾🔥can relate to most situations😅. It's Definitely TMIIIIIIII 🎶💃🏿.

Haha I do not throw away containers. No way I pack my food🎉😊

Hapo kwa i love you😂😂i know many of us are victims😂

Am i the only one who likes while singing along "its definitely tmi" then I continue watching... Loove loove all the episodes ❤

my kids can stand up for themselves against anyone including me...its okay for them to call me out ..that is one am breaking .....having dfcult conversations aswell my parents would avoid them in entirety nd now i really struggle to have them,i wil apologize to my kids.i will not beat them,i will allow them a chance to be human so some mistakes can slide

On therapy, my siz says she can see change in me since I started it. I apparently reason n communicate better. It's been a positive journey.

😂😂😂not bringing more generation got me..am in that dilema and people around me dont get it

I always know Wednesday is going to be a good day , TMI

From Lnn podcast to here. All the way from South Africa. Hi ladies 😍

Tis gals after watching them on LYNN Ngugi show ... wow they are going places

I broke the generational curse of breaking things then you get beaten. My daughter broke her water bottle in school and she innocently showed me without asking,I was proud of her for being honest and I swear I didn't even feel hungry. I was like it's okay, I'll get you another one.

Related so much to all the points on this episode..