UPDATE GF Refused To Do Chores Cos They're Wifely Duties & Got Mad I Refused To Pay The Bills~ AITA 

Story 1: UPDATE 4:13 Story 2: 10:49

after marriage, not doing 'wifely duties' would morph into 'i'm not your mother'

Story 1: what was the gf’s plan? Refuse to do anything around the house or contribute but still expect him to pay for everything for her including her tuition?! BISH! She is tripping.

In all fairness to OP in story one, If you’re living with your SO and not paying rent then they should help out with simple tasks. I don’t think OP is wrong. Op is housing gf and paying for her university, what is he getting in return?

Story 2 I’m so on the husbands side she sounds like a absolute chore to deal with

Story 1: This gal was not into him at all and you can tell by the fact that she got a part time job where she worked weekends during summer break that way she didn’t have to spend the weekends with him. Should have moved on a long time ago.

Last story: Any parent who tries to alienate the other spouse except for actual abuse is the a**hole. This lady sounds petty and narcissistic.

"My husband killed himself to provide for me, and he was mad I left."

Story 2 I can almost GUARANTEE that OP manipulated the children to hate her ex.

Story #1: NTA. I remember this story. She knew what OP's opinion was on marriage was but she decided to try and play mind games to force his hand. The GF is _taking_ far too much from this relationship without giving anything back, because she thinks her effort requires marriage. Which is ass-backwards because if she is trash as a GF, why would she be better as a wife?

Story 2: Why did OP think she needed to vent to her kids about the ex's comments on the cheque? She knew what she was doing and has now succeeded in turning her kids against him. And she is not disabled. And the children turning on thier own father in such a fickle way? I feel bad for him but maybe he is better off without any of them. Glad he worked those 12 hours days!

Story 2: Women want the benefits of a man ie. being provided for, favors (working on their car) etc… but none of the responsibilities… like loyalty, not crossing boundaries, home making etc. It’s crazy how a man has to provide for a grown adult when she chose to leave, due to him having to work 12h days and being depressed. Absolutely nuts… and like most women, she got just that from the courts.

Story number 2: just another woman who divorced her husband because she got “bored” with him, having spent a lot of time at work. And also, she “knew her worth” and “deserved better.” I swear men have to avoid getting married these days. The courts reward women for destroying her marriage while men starts getting eaten alive by the system since day one of marriage.

This gf will say once she gets married and you ask her to do her wifely duties that she isn't your mother or servant she is just a leech 😒

This is bullshit if a man did that he’d be in handcuffs and going to jail for DV. How was this woman NOT ARRESTED. Press charges and sue her for famages

Story 2 yta. Shes leaving a whole lot out I get the feeling. She's coming across very manipulative and sneaky because she's not telling anything that her husband done or why her marriage was so bad. She talks about all her health issues and when she said she wanted divorce he tried getting her to counseling and therapy but she refused. Now she can't manipulate her husband out of any more money she's going to manipulate her kids out of thousands of dollars a month

1st. Story: Even if you are not married, you thought you were partners. These are things PARTNERS do. She just blew a good thing.

Sympathy = 0 Understanding = - 50 Self awareness = -100 Tears from lying vindictive women = priceless.

"...... PLEASE don't break up with me! ........well fine, f**k you! I don't need you! I never loved you!! " LMFAO! Then what are you complaining about?!

So she didnt want wifey duties but wanted wifey treatment gtfoh she seems lazy and entitled

Last story.... So neurotypical people never need counseling? Id be depressed if i lived with her too. Living with someone with chronic illness can be draining especially if they think the world revolves around them.

Story 2: This sad. Husband looses his family and house and kids and 50% of paycheck only to be met with more crap to a wife who didn’t want to be married anymore. Welcome to the 21st century in America

Story 1: I hate the attitude of "wifely duties" and "husband duties". Couples need to be a team that find the balancing of chores and responsibilities that work best for both of them. Married or not, that shouldn't matter. This isnt about wifely duties or what that even means. This is about her being a freeloader who's biting the hand that feeds her.

Story 2. This is why I hate modern women. 😂😂😂 guaranteed she manipulated the truth

Last story, wonder what she will do if the children's circumstances change and they can only give her a small amount or perhaps stop giving her anything.

Last story: YTA. She left her husband because he was working too much. He worked too much because he wanted a good life for their three children and his wife. She "gave their children everything what they needed". Yeah, except food, home and stuff like electricity because HE was paying for everything. It's easy to play a good parent and be all the time for your kids when you don't have nothing else to do. He worked 12 hours a day, so he had 12 hours for coming to and from work, eat, sleep and be a father. Every day. Pretty tight schedule. He still wanted to save their marriage but she didn't. So she left him when he had depression (I wonder from what? It's not like he was overworked all the time and had ungrateful witch as a wife).

OP: I was also paying for her university... *SLAP!!!!!* *Everyone on Earth facepalms themselves into unconsciousness.*

Eh 2nd lady sounds shady af

So glad Reddit caught the shady shit OP in story 2 was saying. Husband was depressed or burnt out and she left

Story 2: Hold on, the 18 yo just "happened" to find that one alimony check and read the comment? And the "older kids found out through screenshots"? Translated: OP went crying to her kids about a situation she could see coming years in advance. Did she really make no plans at all? Beyond leeching off her children, that is. I LOVE how she credits herself for the success of her children, but I suspect the Dad's 12-hour workdays (and salary) had something to do with that as well. Depends on where you live, but tuition is not exactly cheap. Lastly, this seems to have been an acrimonious divorce on both sides and OP's ex adding that comment to the last alimony check was a jerk move, but I would argue that OP is still the biggest AH for manipulating the kids and living off of them.

Relationships are give and take. Unfortunately, she assumed it meant “he gives to me and I take it”

You definitely need to get her to sign some kind of paperwork saying that she will reimburse you for her college tuition and other stuff you paid for.

Second Story YTA. That women is ungrateful for the sacrifices that man made for her. 12 hour days and supporting her and 3 kids. Jesus.

Story 1: this is why inhad my girlfriend prove whe can live on her own for a year before i would move in with her. This and she had a young daughter. She did and we moved in. Been married over 20 years.

Story 1 nta. She tried to manipulate and play him and she only played herself. 😂

Story 2 definitely a mother who manipulated this man and stole his family, completely the asshole

1. Why are you together again? Kick her out OP. 2. Each suffered in their own way, but OP is giving him no credit and is too much into herself and her physical ailment. She is merely stating her kids are doing well and will not have to rely on others for money. The last check is freedom for everyone paying for child support. He sidling have written it down, and she shouldn't have shown it.

Not buying story 2. She's shady as hell.

"i just wanted you to know how much you needed me" "Well, i don't, bye" 😂

The 2nd story, she sure as hell not gonna update after being destroyed in the comments and for go reason. The entitlement on some of this ex wife’s never fails to surprise me. Unreal

Story 1: NTA, STOP being the ATM. She is a leech. Story 2: OP is the AH.

story 1. I would have done a lot of dirty things for that guy for a full ride to a college in my 20s.

While I agree that the second OP was sketchy as hell it seems a lot of people don't get how even the non lethal form of IBS can be truly awful and hard to predict. It's not even the least the same as mobility issues etc and it's bad form to compare people's health without knowing enough. And just because somebody manages to work while going to the bathroom a lot doesn't mean it's good for them. It's really easy to casually make your chronic illness much worse by not resting enough.

Story 1: She is a LEECH, You told her you weren't interested in marriage. Treat her as such and dump her. Being a couple, having a TRUE PARTNER means each helping out financially, physically. You gave it right back to her, she is the 1 that's manipulative. NUMEROUS people actually go to school, WORK, take care of the home as well as raise kids. A ring would make her MUCH MUCH WORSE. Dump her now. The police should have arrested her after being called, plus the video. Go file charges and file a lawsuit against her. Also set up cams with sound, get a R O against her.

Story 1: OP's girlfriend had this crap coming. I don't know why women like her really think they can force an ultimatum, all while being a lazy bag of s***. She's not going to change her mindset after she gets a ring - she'd only get worse. This is why men don't invest in relationships anymore. Edit: I can't believe that some people tried to spin the story that she's being "used" for sex. People will always find a way to blame a man, even when he's the one being taken advantage of. Go figure. Story 2: OP's ex should have been grateful that she wanted to divorce. Why does everybody have to take care of her? He was literally working 12 hour days - she's really out here trying to start shit, and instead of her licking the spoon, she's trying to make him. Also, she can get a remote job, or file for disability if it's that bad

Story 1 Yeah I'd be damn if someone breaks my gaming PC and thinks I'm not going to do anything about it...

Story 2: He was working 12 hour days? Not enough time for the family so I left him... You got 7 years Alimomy which appears standard for most stories (half time of marrage) why on earth would you expect him to continue supporting you while your sick? You're the 1 that ended that contract not him

Story 1: Geez.....I would've had her gone way before he did. First couple of "wife" comments....done. Story 2: Never involve your children in your marital issues! She's a real piece of work. Taking money from your kids. Get a job!!!

If you don't want to act like a wife, you don't deserve a husband-like individual.

SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!!! To the schmuck who allowed his girlfriend to move in and do nothing while he pays for everything.

Story 2: "on the last check he wrote 'freedom, good luck then '. It was such a mockery to my health issues ". It has nothing to do with your health issues. It's also no longer his job to care about your issues or support you financially. It sucks that the ibs makes it hard to work, but that's not your ex's problem. It's also not your son's responsibility. I also agree with the commenter that your kids aren't your therapist and don't need to be dragged into your beef with your ex.

Play silly games win silly prizes, I bet it was her single friends who said the wifey duties BS. Single modern women keep their friends single.

Story 2 had plenty of time to apply for disability benefits. But she'd have to prove it through medical records. Lazy 🐮

Last story she one gold digger playing da victim. She a grown ass women and asking for over 5 k a monthly is insane.

Any woman who speaks like his gf, you give her 30 days to love out and you block her

He dodged a violent bullet in story 1

Story 1: what the actual eff? Why/how is he even funding her lifestyle like this anyway while the dynamic is so clearly skewed in her favor? She’s acting more like a sugar baby than an actual adult, and she couldn’t even do the bare minimum of keeping the place a little clean while he pays for literally everything? Kick that bum out, it’s clear why she was having home issues to begin with.

Wifey duties, lol. No they are to determine if you are worth bothering with duties, and he had every right to show you what the stupidity you were displaying is like. Both are too childish to be with anyone really but her attitude is why most men no longer bother. The Queen Gene is strong in them and no one wants a headache.

S1: NTA. Time to rurn that girlfriend into an ex, nit a wife.

story 1) get rid of the girlfriend she is bad news. your boyfriend is paying for literally everything and you can't show gratitude by cleaning the house or helping your supposed significant other.

🤣🤣I’m listening to this while making my guy a meal🤣🤣🤣

Last story: You know she posted thinking everyone would be on her side lol

Dude. She's trying to drop tips that she wants to get married. She's tired being a shack up and not a wife.

Story 1 NTA: the problem is that OP is doing too much in the relationship by letting her move into his place, paying her tuition and such. These are things you do for a long term SO, regardless if you are married or not. People stop being simps (of either gender) and thinking you have to go overboard to "prove" your worthy of a relationship, before seeing if the other person is actually worthy and grateful for your efforts. Too many people nowadays have this entitled attitude that they "deserve" to be treated like wives/husbands without putting in the effort.

1: Nah, I’d have booted her out when she started that “not your wife” BS. I don’t know why OP let her use him for so long but at least he woke up before he married her. Glad that he thought to get the locks changed asap. She sounds crazy enough to come back when he’s out and steal whatever she can because she thinks he owes her for all the nothing she did.

Second story sounds like the ex wife poison the kids. poor guy.

Dude. If I were first OP's GF, living with him for free and him paying everything for me, with all that free time, I'd be showing my gratitude by doing all the cleaning, much of the cooking, and making sure he has a homemade packed lunch every single day he works. OP was absolutely right to throw her own BS logic in her face.

once the gamestation was thrown on the floor she would be gone. That was one lazy woman, and she would have been a lazy wife, and probably would cheat on him because the husband worked too much.

My gosh isn't even a good sugar baby let alone wife material

Damn. Girl fuming 'cos wallet started to talk back

Your “ girlfriend “ is using you. Stop paying for everything. You are not her husband. 50/50. If she doesn’t want to pay her fair share. She should go back where she came from

Story 2: I love what he wrote on the final check, "Freedom." I am divorced and live in California, so I automatically got screwed by the courts. She lives in my $500k house and rives my car and has never worked. I work 60 - 70 hours a week and have spent several years near starving and not being able to afford a place to live. On some of the checks I send to her I write "For the Male Strippers," or "Escorts," or "Paying for Fake Friends." Not sure if she ever looked at it though. The courts are forcing me to pay her for life, so being able to write "Freedom" won't happen, but I will make sure it is on my tombstone.

He paid her college and everything she wanted and she couldn't even act as a loving housewife for a few years til he married her. Talk about stupid.

*The double standard legit makes my blood boil.*

s1 i don't blame OP.. but I want to point out that 'roommates with benefits' which, lets be honest, that's what this was.... never works out, and someone will get hurt.. at least emotionally. yes, he was upfront...like I say, I don't blame him, but ..... women, if this is what you are being offered, and it isn't what you want.. don't accept the offer

Who is about to stay in a nasty house 🤢🤮. No ma’am are you crazy. I wouldn’t mind cooking and cleaning for my man.

Dude…you are her ATM! No more…kick her butt out and do not look back!

S1, NTI, get rid of her, she is trying to blackmail you, next she will be babytrapping you, change the locks, pack up her stuff and deliver them to her parents

Story 2. She sounds like a nightmare. I think the note on the check was entirely appropriate. He even wished her luck. I think he should have written "GET A JOB".

dude simped by paying for all her crap. This is why you dont simp, youll get treated as one. She thought she could get away with being a leech

Story 1 GF thinking she a fucking video game that the OP needs to buy DLC.

I cant believe the guy wasnt arrested lol. Usually the man gets arrested

story 1 that was soo clear the ex GF wanted to be married and find that way on tik tok or other stupid YT video ... story 2 yeah the mec send 2.5 k every month for 7 years, wtf is wrong with the "freedom, good luck them" that he wrote ? yes for him it's freedom so what op gona leech on her son and son in law forever now ?

Lol as far as story one, if I had a dude like OP doing all this and being a good dude, hell I'd be Martha Stewart mixed with June Cleaver lol

1: this resulted in her getting upset and claming that I was being manipulative - LOL, OP was just making a point. She's the one who is manipulative. She doesn't have to get his dry cleaning, make him lunch, etc. But a relationship is a negotiation. If she doesn't work and he does and he pays all the bill, she should be doing some stuff to help out.

Bro, THANK YOU for guys standing up to women not contributing, especially when you're holding majority of the financial responsibilities. You hold all the cards my guy. Set your boundaries and kick her out if need be!

Story 2: Both parents suck and were miserable people. Don’t be a stay at home parent and be upset when your SO spends so much time working/providing for the family. Also, don’t be the only provider/breadwinner and be ungrateful/upset at your SO for staying home and raising the kids/keeping house . Daycare, school, babysitter, etc. all provide assistance for raising children so BOTH parents can work/earn money for the household. That being said, anyone who is FORCED to pay for someone else’s living expenses, as well as their own, would be happy when they no longer forced to pay. Especially, when they have no responsibility/obligation or relationship with said person. Alimony is the last ‘old fashioned’ rules of marriage that need to thrown out (e.g. women don’t need a dowery to get married anymore).

60k a year?! Man what the hell is she doing with that?

You know, you can take someone to small claims court for $ 40 about. That’s what it is here. You get all your documents in order, have a copy for the judge and the person you are suing and go before the magistrate. You represent yourself, state your case and the judge decides.

Both sets of "duties" belong to both people. They aren't "wife duties" or "husband duties" They are ADULT duties.

1st: NTA, Stop being her 🏧 to her,If she is not your wife and you are not her husband she can pay her bills ..

Story 1: NTA, she took a test with you of compatibility and failed miserably. Also, I’d sue her for all the damage she caused with her childish hissy fit. She played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.

Anyone who thinks op is wrong in this story really needs to reevaluate their views on how a relationship is supposed to be

Oh the humanity he married 2 years after

Story 1: OP should charge ex-GF for her tuition that he was paying. She tried manipulating someone she should love, respect and communicate with. Not relationship material.

S1 op ex just use that wifely duties excuse so she can sit on her ass and do nothing. Let’s be real she just using him as a free ride. S2 op knew that message was meant solely for op. The ex was just expressing all the frustration of paying op living.

A woman 'communicating' that way is not relationship material.

I want to ask, who is treaching women to be selfish, spoiled, vindictive, cunts who should never be forced to do anything, but allow them to force others to provide for them? "I am not your mother" And he is not your fathet...pay your own way. I agree if they are married he needs to provide, but don't expect husband duties from a roommate relationship

Story 2. I would have done the same thing. There is no reason that she can't get a job. So she is going to suck her kids finances dry

St1: If she stopped doing everything she did, he would realize how important she was??? Like...How important is she?? OP practically saved her, he pays for EVERYTHING and he is the reason she can afford uni. Can someone be more stupid? She had taken OP for granted. So granted that she forgot how things would be for her if he wasn't around. And the way she chose to make "hints" So annoying and idiotic