Validation: The Most Powerful Relationship Skill You Were Never Taught - The I Hear You Podcast - E3 

"The Validation Sandwich" lol. Loved that one ;)

Cognitive empathy seems like flattery compared to legitimate compassion

Thank you, Bonnie!

Thank you!

More than Jesus 😎

That last one describes my last job. I did 1-4... but 5.. I could not become Jesus. He is perfect. I am not.. i was getting treated like straight shit, pulled her aside, communicated, stived to understand, validated, empathized... she was two faced and wanted to tear me down and hated me because my existence bugged her. She was going through a tough time and wanted to tear me down out of envy and spite. Pure rage inside that women and I was her target because I was a top worker and well respected by everyone at work. In the 7 years I worked there, never made one enemy.. until her. She hated me not because I did anything to her, but because I represented something she wanted to achieve but struggled with. She didn't have many friends due to perceiving everything as an attack on her and being difficult to communicate with.. I felt for her and tried to be empathetic which made her more vindictive.. ahah. How do you deal with someone who is just in such a mentally difficult space to where they don't want to compromise or communicate with mutual respect and symbiosis? It's one sided.. and I bruised her ego more once I got sick of her shit. Screaming at me, constantly trying to get me in trouble for things that were absurd, singling me out and purposefully targeting me with disrespect and disregard while treating the other few in the department like gold... I didn't know what to do. I tried to ignore it after pulling her aside and being straight up went no where (I thought we had made peace. Both understood and validated eachother. Then she flipped on me the next day) I made her more angry by ignoring her, to where she told HR I made her work life hostile because I ignored her... there was no winning. I then decided to stop ignoring her and treat her normal, despite her continued disrespect. And I sucked it up until the final hair broke this camels back and I sought wisdom from management. 3 seperate times over 8 months. They told me I should've came to them sooner... that'd they'd talk to her.. nothing changed. I asked HR for advice and they ignored me.. so when covid did a mass lay off. I was grateful in a bittersweet way. The company I loved and joined as a mom and pop shop turned into a corporate grinder where the bosses I grew to love sold the company... so we were all expendable pawns in the last year.. I've been in management, and I would never allow an employee to treat others with such disrespect. I would try to correct the problem, and if someone refused to seek understanding and failed to prioritize respect, teamwork, healthy communication, and good work ethic... they're fired. I'll give em a chance. But not several chances.. This girl got fired from a different department in the company, but my department boss had the hots for her and was thirsty, so he saved her incompetent ass.. Never again will I endure working with someone like that, but I will next time try something different. I will give it 2-3 chances to communicate with the person in a way where I seek to understand and validate AND get through to them.. cuz clearly I missed the mark with this bitch I speak of.. bahaha.. but outside of work, I pray she heals and transcends whatever is hurting her. She would've made a better employee rather then supervisor.. when someone's outside life profoundly impedes their leadership.. no bueno :( no hate towards her. I can only pray she learns and grows and makes peace with her pain. I learned from the experience, so no regrets.. Oops this was more a general comment rather then a direct response

That’s exactly what Jesus teaches He said: If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6 32-36

Love to hear this!

Thank you!

Thank you!

I agree!! 😮😮

Thank you!

Thank you!

I was surprised too!!!🤷‍♀️😲

Thank you!

You bet! Thanks for listening!

How do I validate someone’s feelings when they are regretting something they did to themselves?

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

It is similar-the podcast episodes on validation have the key points-but the book goes more in depth on how to use it in everyday life, gives dozens of examples, and dives into more questions on what to do after validating.

@@michaelsorensen7914 I like the podcast episodes! Have been looking for the book to read.

@@qianyu2412 please get it, its eye opening and you will sit and start to act as soon as you pick up on what he means. Some emotions are harder than others but like be says in the book the harder the emotion the more established the connection will be