Victims of Divorce 

My husband divorced me after 26 years of marriage. He went on a Christian dating site while he was my husband and met another woman. So, he took me to court and bifurcated our marriage. The judge granted him a divorce since I refused to sign the papers. He told the judge I was holding him hostage in the marriage and I needed to be divorced to realize it was over. He married her three months after he divorced me in 2016. I was a homeschooling mother of four children who are now young adults. Three are now divorced. None of our children serve the Lord. I was talking to my youngest son about the Lord and wondered how his father who grew up in the mission field with missionaries parents not be affected by the path his children have chosen. Breaks my heart all the time that my kids aren’t walking with the Lord…Pray for my children please. Thank you.

Reading all these comnents I feel blessed my parents had 7 kids were married 40 yrs when my mom passed away & then 2 yrs later my dad. We were lower class didn't have much...but we did have each other's love. All 7 of us agree we had a wonderful childhood.

My parents divorced when I was in senior year of highschool. It still had a huge impact on my life to this day at 26. My prayers go out to anyone who has been hurt by divorce. It's a lose-lose situation for everyone involved.

I was 2 when my parents divorced. I have no memory of them together. Thank God I am now married and we are raising our children in the Orthodox Church.

My parents divorced when I was 5 yrs old- the moments leading up to it and (the aftermath was so much worse) both left such tremendous psychological scars that gave me a bad start in life. I am pushing 30 now and still unmarried but hopefully my season of being unmarried ends soon. Thank you father for your wisdom.

If there is infidelity and/or abuse, divorce is the best answer for the parents and children, that is my opinion, my life and my brother’s was hell when my parents were married, my dad cheated on my mom for almost 20 years until she got tired of his disrespect and betrayal, she worked full time, took care of the house, cooked for us and was emotionally abused constantly by my dad who was an arrogant, a manipulative person, liar, a cruel husband and a cheater. He would work all week and then disappear during the weekend. Women are told to “endure” and I never hear anyone hold men accountable for their actions, cheating is a betrayal and it automatically breaks the vows of marriage, once that contract is broken there’s no point in going back, people who cheat very rarely change, they are selfish and like to justify their betrayal while drowning in self pity, it’s just pathetic. My life changed for the better after my parents divorced, no more chaos, screaming, arguing, there was sadness and way less money but my mom and I had peace, and peace of mind is superior to happiness.

I suspect that too many Christians don't truly understand what marriage is.

My parents divorced when I was 6. It is a fact that parents do not love their children as much as they did when they were married. I see it now as an adult when families I know get divorced. I felt it intensely as a child when my parents made it clear that they couldn’t wait for their time with us to be over.

My son is a victim/please pray for my son Diego, Father. God Bless us all!

This is why the Church is against Divorce. "Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak" Book by Leila Miller

So much of the pain, damage, and delinquency in this country can be directly attributed to divorce and single parenthood. This is important work you our doing, fr Josiah. Thank you.🙏☦️

I had to consent to my previous wife divorcing me after she had multiple affairs - one of which with my own Dad. I was devastated and then shunned by my local Baptist Church. I was handed a tape by the Pastor at the time entitled, "On God's Junkheap". The refrain of the message was that if you are divorced, God is finished with you. Even 36 years later I haven't recovered from this. It has destroyed my trust in the Church and made me very wary of friendships. Although remarried and happily married to a lovely Christian woman for 30 years now, I always feel a deep sense of grief and shame. I was made to think I was at fault. No children thankfully - but I can imagine the shame and despair is no less for children in the midst of divorce. God bless you Father Trenham!

My parents are not divorce but they are as good as divorced, they are separated and my father left everything about our family 10yrs ago.. My poor mum doesn't believe in divorce, so she continues to suffer alone today.. I pray for her everyday with all the effort she is making to keep our family together.

My parents divorced before I could talk. I may never marry. I've worked hard. Found a way to finish my undergrad with all costs paid. Gotten a property of my own. And it's not that I'm afraid to lose what I have. I just have such a hard time with connecting with women at all, and the achievements are too little, too late. I'm glad to watch your videos of late Father. You were instrumental in my conversion. I don't know if I'll ever have human love but I know God loves me. I miss your lectures, and visiting your church. I hope I'll be able to again in the next year at some point. Pray for a society that values marriage.

I am part of the first generation largely affected by divorce. I was lucky, my parents remained together. I watched many of my classmates suffer. My friends who came from broken homes really liked hanging out at my house and having dinner with my family. One of them told me it was because my family was normal and they missed that experience.

Father, could you please do a reflection on abusive marriages? There's so little Orthodox content on it

What an extremely timely reflection Father Josiah! I have been considering this course of action for a while now, but this reflection actually has caused me to step back. Sadly, I don't have a Priest who I can talk to, so your video was sent to me! Thank you and God bless you!

My dear Father, I endured a divorce when my ex-wife told me that she didn't want to be married any longer. She was a convert to the faith and had been divorced once before I met her. The truth is, it was not a happy marriage by any conventional standard. She left home and at first I felt that annulling the marriage was the best thing but I later tried to reach out to her and ask that we reconcile and I asked her to come back so that we can save our marriage but she refused. I have come to the realization that she didnt want the marriage in the first place. She did it as a favor to me. I don't mean to say that it was all her fault. I was far from perfect. But I was the one who wanted to save our marriage. It took me a long time but I finally forgave her. Since we had no children, we lost touch after the divorce and I have no idea where she is or what's become of her but I hope she has come to realize the error of her ways and I hope she has since repented.

My parents divorced when I was 2. It was not so bad, my dad was well off and gave into all my moms demands. My mom and I lived in poverty, then when I was around 12 my dad initiated a custody battle and it was probably the most miserable moment of my life and it still affects me almost 15 years later. My dad has had 5 wives, my mom 3 husbands. My relationship with my parents is basically non existent. My older half sister has been divorced and is about to get remarried. Her children have been horribly affected by this. My other older half sister’s marriage is tenuous at best. My little sister has contemplated suicide, and it something I did too when I was 13 or so. I’m terrified of marriage because of the last thing I want is another failed marriage in a long line of failed marriages and to do this to my children.

I was raised Roman Catholic and I'm really starting to become attached to the orthodoxy unfortunately my girlfriend has been resistant to accepting Jesus I pray everyday we can one day become married in holy matrimony

My parents weren't divorced but they weren't close growing up. They always seemed distant and had this. "It goes without saying" frame of mind, and they weren't people of faith. So when I got married, I remember thinking and saying, "Do I want to be like them?" My answer was no. I had become Christian prior to marriage, and my wife was a faithful Christian, so we agreed on a lot of the same things, and we have talked about many different things. We don't always agree or might have different opinions. However, we still love one another deeply and care for each other deeply. Only God can bring 2 different people together and sustain those 2 different people. I enjoy being married, and life is never dull or boring. Every day is a blessing. Thank you for your words of wisdom, father.

Father, thank you for your final prayer. I divorced when my child was very little, this was due to domestic violence. I do pray for my ex and for his happiness. And yes, children will suffer BUT if I stayed, I would have ended up dead or disabled. I divorced for my child so she can live a safe life 🙏🏼

Ingnorant talk. Children suffer from unhappy parents very much. Its a bad example. God is my father and therefore I divorced a sick man and saved my children. They have become beautiful, caring men. I am proud of them. Thank you Lord for giving me the power.

My parents are divorcing after 43 years together. It doesn’t matter if you’re a kid or an adult. It hurts the same, leaves a huge, gaping hole inside, although the logistics are different.

I am a Christian woman got divorced ,became a single mother of five children, I moved to the country to make what little money I had go far, that was twenty years age, four of my five children are now happily married, I never began another relationship and are still happy being alone

Thank you for this message and teaching. I got divorced 15 years ago and then entered the church 5 years ago. It is my sorrow and I mourned so much to be divorced and the burden I knew it would lay upon my children I tried so hard but I could not hang on after so many years and candidly poor advice from a priest 15 years ago opened the door for me to give up the fight. God is merciful. Mary help of Christian’s pray for us.

Thank you for speaking to this so clearly. I'm an only child and I grew up saying that my parent's divorce didn't affect me much, but the older I get, the more that I realize that was just a lie- it negatively affected me in a profound way. God has been so faithful, though, and He's blessed me with a wonderful little family for my husband and I to steward. As a side note, after my parent's divorce, my dad took me to an OCA church for a few years and I felt like I saw functional, loving families for the first time. I felt very much like I didn't fit and later married a Protestant, but I'm grateful for my time in the OCA church. It gave me something to aspire to, even if it was a little uncomfortable for me to try to find my place.

My ex husband developed an addiction and filed for divorce after I found out he was cheating on me. He was mad I listened to his voicemails and even called the cops on me for crying after I caught him. Now he’s got a 20 year old female friend he buys alcohol for in exchange for’fun’. I met a nice guy and pray God will let me marry him, and he’s a better dad figure.

My parents divorced when I was 10. I always told myself this was ok. Until I encountered God the Father, I totally melted down. This weekend, I’m going to a retreat for adult children of divorced parents to heal my wounds. May God grace me the healing that I need so that I can persevere in my marriage and parenthood.

So glad the algorithm gave me this

Marriage is sacred and when my ex husband told me he didnt love me any more and didnt want to be with me what was i supposed to do? I prayed and fasted ardently and he still threw me out. When i approached the priest for pre marriage support he laughed at me. What should i have done? Thank God i was not married long enough to have kids only i have been the victim suffering deeply from this one bad decision in my life thank God through my divorce that He brought me to service in His church and that has been the blessing out of tragedy. My hope is in Christ. I also want to mention that despite divorce being a grave sin and a tragedy, with much love and respect to you Father, in some cases divorce can save a person. I met a victim of divorce recently who confessed that she watched her dad bash her mum until she was injured everyday in front of her and her brothers since they were small. Thats all these children saw growing up. Until they became adults and arranged their mums escape and divorce from their dad. Thank you for highlighting this tragedy. My tears and pain came to the surface in this video. May our sweet Lord Jesus have mercy on us

Greetings from a Christian orthodox romanian Family! God bless you and your Family!💖🌸🌼

My parents divorced when I was 5 going on six. All of these things applied to me especially a preteen and teen. I was deeply sad and depressed by the family situation of constant fighting and pain. I hated having to spend time with my father after a time because of what he did to destroy the marriage. As Christians we should be fighting for our marriages to not fail but all to often it is treated as a normal thing to divorce. And many in the protestant churches I grew up in treated my brother and I differently when they learned my parents divorced. We were shunned and made fun of from people we thought were friends and for a while it made me rather cynical about the church. But after a time I started to read books about the Jesus prayer and got an Orthodox study bible and it has helped my relationship to Christ immensely. We need to center on Christ and stop allowing our families to fall apart.

My mom decided when I was 10 to divorce my dad for no reason except that she was "unfulfilled". I would have to say it ruin my life. At least it was a devastating experience. When she was on her deathbed I asked her if she would have done anything different in her life. To my horror, she thought intently for a few moments and says "no, no, I don't think so".

YOUR A GOOD MAN FATHER !!! THANK YOU !!❤❤❤

Often one spouse is also a victim. You mention it at the very end. I wish you would lead with this. Those of us who endured so much suffering in an attempt to save the marriage are forever changed by the betrayal, guilt over failing to "win" the fight to save the marriage, as well as the death of everything built over time. After 25 years of devotion, the pain and devastating consequences forever changed me. I spent 2 years allowing myself to be gaslit and abused while praying and doing everything in my power to save the marriage. The shame we victims of divorce endure is palpable, but there are two people in a marriage and both need to want to save it. My church abandoned me at that time and it has taken me 10 years to reprioritize my faith. Most often there is one person who fails, and kills the marriage. Not both.

Divorce is the symptom of the underlying illness which is love and affectionate relations fading away leading to coldness, disrespect, and escape from such troubles. Love and all its blessings must be constantly nurtured, rejuvenated, and fortified. Deep love, commitment and respect is the bond to keep marrieds together for the long haul. It is critical that very sufficient courtship and mutual introspection happens to make sure both are right for each other and are vowing truly to stay married for life. There are countless reasons for divorce, but one of the top reasons has been a mismatch and poor spousal selection from the get go. Effective Christian pastoral services preceding the marriage really helps the couple to discern that they are right for each other and have a mindset marriage is for life.

My husband of 36 years, an ex Naval officer walked out of our marriage, leaving me devastated and in shock. I know now I married the wrong man and stayed to long. We really didnt have much in common as we met while we were both serving on active duty in the Navy. I am Jew and was raised in that faith. He was a Mormon but not practicing. He did not say anything about remorse or offer any apology to me as to why he left. It only took me 4 months later to realize he was a full fledged narcissist who thinks he is the only victim. "A marriage to a narcissist is not a true union but a one-sided business deal. I was his supply and when he was exposed and he could no longer manipulate me, he left without notice. At least our 2 sons were grown young men.

Thank you, Father. May the Lord have mercy on me for being divorced. Signing on the dotted line when my wife filed for divorce is the sin I grieve the most.

I’m a Roman Catholic. St Mary of Egypt is my confirmation saint. ❤

Children should be the very center of society

I grew up in a Divorced family. I definitely have struggled in every way imaginable. I've been isolated and by myself for the whole time. It's made it difficult to have a relationship with God in a way that normal people simply don't understand.

My father never married my mother and he left when I was a year old.Why would he do that? I was so cute😢 I'm over 50 and a fatherless home is so hollow. Those hollow spaces are never filled. Believe me.😔

Thank you Father Josiah 🥲

You give me hope. Thank you

Honestly, with all due respect, sometimes there are legitimate (yet still a very difficult decision to make) reasons to divorce such as abuse and infidelity and the other partner not wanting to change or go to counseling.

God bless you, Fr. Josiah!

Thank you, Father. I needed this encouragement. Will return to this video often.

The Rib: I’ve heard “the rib is the guardian of the heart.” So a helper was formed to humble man’s conceit. Once joined in marrow, the bond could not be torn apart. A simple, deathless separation is a demonic deceit. “Be fruitful and multiply!” The cry from the mountain’s garden. “Be profitable and wait.” The hiss from the hedonist pit. No earthly currency could be more valuable than our children. One pass through borrowed time is all we get. As the bone is one, so the cage is one unity- Reaching through time like fingers or deep roots- Branching into a tree’s story of procreation and identity. The stock raised and buried by produced fruits. Man’s rib carried a seed and nurtured it into humanity. Two became one to participate in a unique potentiality.

God deliver us🙏

My wife and I divorced after just under 2 years. She was serially unfaithful and a compulsive liar. I couldn’t even recognize myself anymore. I feel ashamed and like a failure. I thought that maybe she would change, or that God would work a miracle. I still hold to my faith but I don’t know what to believe about my situation and what it means or how it plays into God’s plan.

I was manipulated and groomed when I was in high school by someone 10 years older than me. We got married while I was still in school and had 2 kids. I tried so hard to make it work with him, but my mental health couldn’t withstand it. I would think of unaliving almost everyday. I left after years trying to ignore my mental health.. I’ve been divorced for 3-4 years now and have a kid with my current bf. I recently had conviction in my heart and wanted to know how I could make things right with God considering my situation and that’s when I stumbled across orthodoxy. I’m afraid it’s too late for me now for a choice I made so young I didn’t know the consequences of what I was doing because my parents divorced when I was 2 and everyone I knew had multiple marriages so I know “til death do us part” but that’s never what I saw. I prayed to God so many times for forgiveness and this feeling never goes away. I’m scared to talk to a priest because I’m scared that I’ll be told I have to go back to that relationship or I’ll never be able to join Gods church. I can’t describe the amount of pain it makes me feel to know the pain I’ve caused for my children, but if I stayed in that environment I might not still be here today at all. I wish I never got married honestly. I know it’s a selfish thing to say but it’s true. I prayed so hard for God to heal my heart and change my mind but the thought of me having to go back to that makes me feel uncomfortable. I love God, and I’m so fascinated by the Orthodox Church. I wish I learned about it before I did what I did. It might’ve saved me from all this torment.

Thank you, Father! Some good advice here.

Thank you Father. I work in school and 80% of kids live with single mother or parents divorced and I see this trauma in their eyes already . I don’t know about parents believing , may be somebody atheist but I regret about kids . Nothing can make them happy unfortunately

Let this word be spread all over the world, oh Lord😢 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

This is a good video. Thank you!!!

This video came right on time for me, thank you so much father, pray for me

I'm 24 and my parents never divorced, but seeing the way society today views and treats marriage (even visible in some of the comments here) has made me not want to not get married at all ever since I was a young teenager.

My parents also divorced when I was 8. I suffered greatly during my childhood and still grieve over it. The lord was/is my comforter indeed.

Lord have mercy! This is a much needed discussion, Father! Thank you for speaking up and helping all of us be mindful of the great tragedy that is divorce. Seeing the consequences of divorce is heartbreaking. The trauma that divorce causes to the couple and to the children is real and leaves long-lasting effects on all involved, as you precisely point out in this video. From my perspective, divorce in the Orthodox community is the most discouraging type of tragedy to our communities. It is a symptom of some deeper problems that need to discussed and brought to light. But despite it being a symptom, it leaves a trail of pain in its path that produces more broken people. Please keep addressing this issue and what can be done to re-invigorate the respect towards marriage and its sanctity. What makes marriage in the Orthodox Church unique? How is it different from a secular contract? What is the mystical meaning of marriage? What does carrying one's cross mean in marriage? Why is it meant to be a life-long commitment? How is choosing the right spouse from the beginning a key component of a lasting marriage? What is love? What is sacrifice? What is self-emptying? How can we apply the monastic virtues (such as self-denial and self-blame) to a married life?

My parents divorce 5 years ago as a teen is still effecting me to this day and the trauma that comes with it has triggered bouts of anxiety and ocd. Thank you for this video and your amazing insight as always. I hope this inspires others to be patient, loyal parents and help fellow victims of divorce

I went through this divorce nightmare when I was 12 and my youngest brother was 5. It was the most heart-wrenching thing to watch my parents cause so much pain/ fear in the family and then make it harder by divorcing. At 44 I still see the effects in my life - though I’ve been blessed to get married later in life - and especially in my brothers and sister’s life. At this point in life I only pray that my parents are able to find peace in their lives with God- we’re not getting any younger. To all those kids suffering through your parents divorcing, you have my prayers. If I had any advice, I would seek God in all things. He will be your peace when things seem out of control.

It’s interesting that priests never make videos on abusive marriages where there is violence,addiction,conflict and how this affects children. Also no content on narcissistic personality disorder which is so prevalent and destroys families and causes generational trauma and cycle of psychological abuse . Also no discussion about evil psychopathic mothers . There is a cult of mothers in Christianity as if they can do no wrong and yet so many children have suffered greatly due to their abusive and controlling mothers

My husband cheated and physically abused me for 22 years and now wants to divorce me. I feel bad for both my children and myself. Thoughts please, i have remained loyal and given him chance after chance. Our spirits are destroyed by him.

Dear father, I want to pray for you that god gives you more than enough love, care, strength, companionship, comfort in everything you go through every single day. The journey of a priest seems so lonely and important, god bless you and your family. Wish you good health and can continuously be the tool god used to help us ♥️♥️✝️ love you and praying for you! Amen!

My ex abused my eldest and myself. She ended up committing adultery with five individuals, one being a woman. She wanted me to grant a separation give her 50/50 custody. Spirit of Jezebel. God granted me full legal custody, full parenting of our eldest, 50/50 parenting of our youngest. She still has no shame to this day. Christ allows divorce in cases of adultery, no Christian commits adultery, only a spirit of Satan.

Never got married, mainly because I believe in this covenant, especially coming back to Christ. You had alot of good points, and could relate to what you said.

_"Many a man has been lucky in marrying the woman he loves. But he is luckiest in loving the woman he marries."_ G.K. Chesterton

Lord, have mercy

The temptation of divorce is heavy, even for Orthodox Christian believers. The enemy of God hates the unity of marriage and tries to break every marriage apart. God be with all married couples.

Amen!

Oh also with your narration on the stat about how divorce has caused less christianity, luckily I've made my parents divorce force me much further into christianity. I know it truly is NOT a good innoculative thing but thank the lord I've and maybe many others been able to cause me to grow stronger.

If GOD is not number one in a person's life, then a marriage won't be either. It is written in the scriptures if a married person is married to an unbeliever and that unbeliever allows you to be a Christian while being married, then it's to the unbelievers benefit to have a believing spouse. HOWEVER, if an unbeliever will not accept their believing spouse, then the believing spouse is freed from the marriage bond. That is scriptural Fr. Treham. What God hates worse than a divorce is a believer turning they're back on Him. I was freed because my spouse asked me to leave God because he didn't want the children to turn out like me. Proud to say three of my children continue in the Orthodox Christian faith. That is probably the best thing I gave them as a single believing Orthodox Christian mom is remaining faithful to God and staying in the church. As a child, I'm sure it's hard to understand why their parents couldn't be together, but Christ calls us first to Him, then to others. My kids beat the statistics. I believe it's because the Holy Spirit dwelled in our home and their will to do their best. All of them are very good workers, have a good education after highschool. Two have served our country in the Army. Sad, to say what I went through is happening more and more since this world has gotten more forgetful of God and who we were created for. Always choice God over anyone and anything because if you don't when it comes time to meet Him you may not be chosen to live eternally with Him. Abusive marriages (however they may come) are not blessed by God. God blesses virtues not vices because if He blessed vices we would never need to confess. We hold no value in imitating Christ's virtues while being abusive in a relationship. We are supposed to strive towards a sinless/righteous nature. Is it easy to choice the Holy Trinity? Just be prepared for a life of martyrdom and don't expect anything sweet to come along and if it does you'll be pleasantly surprised. The way I see it, married people are no better than those who aren't or have been. Married people sin just like the rest of us and if anyone thinks they're better/less of a sinner because they stuck it out it's just a temptation to fall. Saint Marie of France during WWII was married twice and both were divores. She left the second marriage because she wanted to remain single. She turned out to be a saint. The temptation to think I made it this far with someone so I must be rewarded when in actuality each marriage there are times of pain and sorrow and wanting to flee that can decrease the feeling of feeling connected. There's only one prefect marriage. The Bridegroom and the His Faithful Church. Without the Holy Spirit moving amongst a person's life nothing righteous can be obtained. So if we each claim to be chief of sinners, then we are never put ourselves anyone else, but instead be content with being a child of God working on moving towards righteous.

I was nearly an adult when my parents separated. An adult when they divorced. Their entire marriage was abusive and turbulent. It was still devastating. There's an idea that the damage divorce had on children diminishes once they're an adult. It doesn't.

🚩Adultery, abuse, lies, manipulation and control. False promises. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Does it again. Trust again. Doest again. Repents, apparently for real now... then does it again. You gain weight, get night sweats, hormonal imbalances, mental fog, bodily pains, trauma, paranoia, I mean I could keep going… Honestly, sometimes is time to let go..

Everything this man said is true

Father , please pray for my mother Ana sick and happy marriage for my brother Adrian! ❤Thank you!

Thank you so much father for you bringing this subject. I am a catholic woman who is divorced 8 r years a go after 25 yeas of marriage My exhusband walked away on me and my 19:43 other two daughters and never asked about them or being part of lives. He took with him my older daughter she was 25 years old at the time and we never seen her again. Me and my other two kids still trying to reach her and contact her but no hope, she not answering to our calls or messages. He got married after one year exactly of the divorce and our Catholic Church gave an annulment and when I questioned it they said the marriage was not based on the truth from the beginning and my ex husband already admitted to his lies and his emotional abuse to me. But I wonder how can they annul a marriage produced three children? I am still not having peace with my church about it and when the bishop tried to explain it to me , it didn’t make any sense. And at the end he was the one who walked out of the marriage not me, I tolerated his odd behaviors and tolerated the unsecured feelings in order for me to save our marriage and to keep the kids together.

Amen

I am a Latin rite Catholic Fr Josiah and I appreciate you bringing up the Annulment Scandal in the Church especially here in the US we are the divorce/Annulment capital of the world 90% plus of these so called Annulments go through yearly, they should be extremely rare and they're not it truly has become Catholic divorce and it's sickening to me and of course it goes hand and hand with no fault divorce.

How can Russia be both the "largest Orthodox country in the world" and also the country with the highest divorce rate in the world?

I slept with someone i loved before marriage. I learned later she had mayor issues. I was affraid to leave her, because i didnt want to anger God. Eventually she cheated and broke our bond. 1 day after i learned about Hosea. I think God showed me how much pain this makes him feel. So from that moment i promised God that i will never do it again beforearriage and i will trust him and put my faith in him.

How about when your spouse is treating you bad, not necessarily physically abusing, but talking rude, yelling, always blames you for everything, ignoring, giving you the cold shoulder for weeks, you are always considered somehow lower, who knows nothing and is always wrong. Life becomes very depressing and stressful... Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating for divorce, I myself come from a divorced family and I would never do it to my kids, but at the same time I feel like my health is deteriorating due to the continuous stress and depression... I tried discussing about it many times and it worked for a while, but not for long... Still, I'm not planning to divorce, because I fully realize that this will cause a lifelong trauma to my kids, simply because I went through that with my parents and can confirm that the divorce is only making things worse and not better, but at the same time I feel very miserable and I don't know what to do about it. My spouse is a Christian, always fasting and praying, but the fact that we don't have a spiritual father, like a third person who would talk to us, we just wander around in the desert without a way out. The problem why we can't find a spiritual father is because for my spouse so far, no priest or monk from our area would be spiritually advanced enough to guide us...and I don't know how to convince my spouse that at this point any spiritual father would be better than none... Maybe Fr. Josiah would have enough authority to convince...

I'm a fan of this intro so far. My parents are divorced and there's just so much stupidity. This is one of the reasons I'm becoming catholic (& orthodox is closer to where I'm going than where I was). I'm a huge fan of the catholic church's blunt teachings on divorce. Anything to prevent divorce I'm for.

Going through this myself. We married young (20) and are ourselves children of very early (4yrs and younger) divorces. We don’t have children so I’ve allowed that to quell my mind about such a hard decision, at least because there are less victims. I crossed many boundaries, which led her to resent me, which brought out our worst qualities. I still love her and she me. I want to be an example in todays world and have children with her and have a strong Christian family, but I have truly let many terrible things come between our bond. Neither of us are officially Christian but I’ve found orthodoxy after being exposed to Johnathan Pageau. I had a casual attitude about marriage when we first got married. I have convinced myself that my process of repentance can be fully realized only if we part ways and I take a less casual attitude in a future marriage. I ask for wisdom and the strength to not despair, God bless.

I am a child of divorce and can relate with this. What do we say to our brothers and sisters whom are in domestic abusive marriages, both physically and emotionally? Those not "equally" yoked?

A.D. 2024 A D. , Praises to Jesus!!

A divorce for many children these days, is their first heartbreak. No matter how amicable, divorce leaves scars on everyone involved.

my parents didn't even get a divorce but broke up when I was at the age of one, and many of what was said in this I can sadly relate to

What about those children whose parents were in a completely dysfunctional marriage involving alcoholism and violence? My parents never divorced but I wished they had. Plus, they got married but not at church!

My father cheated on my mom so my mom divorced him when I was around 2 or 3. Both my parents remarried and yeah it can be super weird. My step-father tried his best but at the end of the day I wasn't his kid. It didn't help that we were two entirely different people with different personalities, values, and desires.

Important question for any Orthodox clergy: if a man practices adultery with another parishioner, creates a really ugly situation within the parish, gets married to the adulteress, leaves the church, supposedly truly "repents" with all his heart later on, and remains married to the person he committed adultery with...my question is, can he then become a deacon if he claims to have fully repented while still being married to the second woman?

All of society is a victim of divorce. Divorce is rarely a justifiable solution to conflict.

I grew up in a foreign country without a father because of divorce and now I have to fight against social services to be able to see my own son. In fact I can see him only 3 hours a week and today I should see him. He is only 4 years old and they took him from me when he was only 10 months. The reason? Because I started reading the Bible and warning them (my fiance and her parents) about the times we are living. I truly wish I was never born.

I speak now for the casualties of marriage. Christ centered marriage IS a Covenant of Grace. Biblically defined salvation IS a Covenant of Grace. Neither Covenant is a license to sin. As long as you have breath God's Covenant of Grace can save eternally. Yet there is a difference between being rejected of God and walking away from God. My best understanding says Marriage is NOT a license for evil behavior from either person. There is a difference between walking away and being PUSHED AWAY. With that said, the fear of the Lord truly is the beginning of wisdom. Try on Hebrews 6. 😮

I also come from parents who divorced when I was 8. It was the hardest time of my life.

My parents divorced when I was 2 and it seems like I find more and more how it's left its mark every day. My half-sister was already an adolescent when mom divorced her dad. She became an alcoholic. I found out I needed to avoid the stuff myself.

The crazy thing is that these parents just go on willy bully living their lives like the children aren’t even a part of the equation. You do not reserve the right to choose any partner you want when you have your children living in your home. As a child who faced abuse from mom/dad’s boyfriend/girlfriends (my husband also having experiences like this), forcing your child to live with and accept your new lover against their will is ABUSE. There is no nice way of saying it. IT. IS. ABUSE. It is traumatizing in of itself and the statistics don’t lie. If a child is beaten, raped, molested, manipulated, verbally assaulted, murdered, etc the step parent, or parents “boyfriend” is always the first suspect. Sure there are good step parents out there. I have one! My husband has one too. But at what cost when the other parent’s partner is subjecting you to heinous abuse? Why even risk it? Why even open the door to let something happen to your child? Sorry for the long post. I just had that on my heart to say in case someone is watching this and needs a wake up call

Divorce is bad for sure, but if we back up a bit and analyze most of these marriages that end in divorce should have never happened. A bit of this is on the priests that bless these weddings without making sure that the couple is compatible. Marriage is a sacrament not just an excuse to have sec with the church’s permission. If a deep analysis by the priest is not performed before blessing a marriage, and that marriage ends in divorce because the couple is incompatible, a bit of blame should go on the priest. Respect the sacraments

The lord must be at the center of marriage.