Waking Up While At Bethel - ExJW Story 

Hey, Jacob here. I'd like to say thanks to all that took the time to write encouraging comments. I apologize for my inconsistent use of the phrase "the truth"... sometimes I use it just for convenience and out of habit when talking to a fellow exJW. Also, sorry for being so long-winded and talking slow... I recommend everyone watch this at 1.5x speed, lol. And as far as my political opinions... well that's another great thing about being out of the JW organization... we are allowed to have them now! For what it's worth, my criticisms were directed more at the individual Trump than towards a particular political party. If you feel differently, well I celebrate your freedom to do so! That being said, I really hope any discussions this video generates will stay focused on the main issues.

Signs of an “evil apostate” 1. Intelligent 2. Genuine 3. Facts-based 4. Passionate 5.open/accepting 6.understanding 7.loves knowledge

No natural affection....his family is cold-blooded! I'm so sorry he's has to suffer this immense pain💜

I appreciate videos without comedy and angry rants. Clear Facts and truthful commentary helps in my research. The experiences can be emotional and that seems to come with the process of waking up so Thank you for sharing.

Cliff, you are an excellent interviewer and you seem very down to earth. Your YT channel is great. Keep up the good work!!

Love the Bethel stories. Well done on escaping while inside!

Well thought out interview and it hits so close to home. My wife and I decided five years ago after years of doubts and questioning in our own minds that we were just gonna walk away which we did. We were never disassociated or disfellowship, we just kind of faded. Within weeks I lost contact with so many friends that I’ve grown up with, and they started making excuses why they couldn’t hang out or whatever it may be. My oldest brother stopped talking to me five years ago even though I’ve reached out to him various times and my other brother has limited contact with me and I talk to my father, who is 90 years old, daily. It’s all about conditional love. We love you as long as you do what we want you to do but as soon as you deviate that Love drives up immediately. Even with the loss of most of my friends and family, we are in a better mental state and happier than I have been in 47 years of my life. I was an elder for eight years and ministerial servant for eight years and a regular pioneer for 17 years and served at Bethel for two years. It’s time I’ll never get back but they will never steal any more time away from me. So happy to be free!

I've been only one week free of JWs. It's been an extremely emotional week. One friend dropped me; one friend is still convinced of it being Jehovah's organization. My mom and the one friend both attacked me when I tried to tell them certain real truths. They speak of how bad apostates are yet they are damn quick to attack anyone who thinks differently or who questions the beliefs. It's heart wrenching how quick their "love" fails.

That's similar to what happened to me. I got a certified letter in the mail stating that I would be disfellowshipped for apostasy and announced on a certain date. No judicial meeting or anything.

How'd you wake up? To paraphrase: "The songbook didn't have my jams" 😂 love it

Exgilead misssionary channel was one of the best channels. So simple and calm and clearly presented. On such key topics. I wish he still made videos. Everyone should watch all his videos.

This interview touched my heart tremendously. I realized the negativity of the organization and teachings through the talks and publications and am glad I am no longer subject to that intense negativity. The world/earth has so much beauty within. Thank you for the interview!

GREAT interview - again, and many thanks to Jacob who is most insightful! I'm passing this along to my fading brother.

Hi Cliff thank you for this video!!!

Just bought a copy of "Dont sweat the smal stuff" ... great video 5th :)

Loved this interview, especially the part of waking up a friend that had been disfellowshipped but yet was still mentally in. I am doing this with my sister right now. She is POMI (not disfellowshipped). Her husband is inactive too and not feeling worthy. I finally worked up the courage to share with her some info about the child abuse and it has since snowballed. She is waking up and man does that feel good. Now she will have the hard work of helping her family once she feels ready. I think we forget about those in that situation that are out physically, but still controlled mentally by the org. They need to stop living with guilt and fear so they can truly be free to enjoy life.

Is'n it funny in jw language being spirituality strong is just following the rules of a lucrative company that's acting as a religion. . . ? Nothing to do with spirituality at all.

Nice to hear another similar perspective from bethel. Resonates in ways that I never expect. Hope we hear more open up soon! Kind, compassionate, level headed and logical discussion. Thank you Fifth and Jacob!

Thank you for that, every intelligent thinking person that wakes up gives me hope that my family will at some point see TTATT. Great interview.

I've just watched this for the second time. GREAT interview. Thank you both for your time, energy and caring spirit.

excellent Cliff. these are getting better and better.

He’s right about the organization never being satisfied with what we do for them, they always want more. That’s so unappreciative! Definitely not love!

Another wonderful interview! Thanks Cliff & Jacob for your efforts in getting this story out there. I have no doubt that this will help. When I was starting to venture on these forums, I was first drawn to the interviews like this and other activists. These played a pivotal part in my waking up process. Thanks again Cliff for your time & energy in creating excellent content. Jacob, thanks for your insight & courage in sharing your story. Who knows, anyone in your family who is doubting may see this and start the process of leaving the borg. One can only hope.

A round of applause to Jacob for sharing his story. This truly is the best description of the religion.

I'm a Born in JW... I disassociate at 22 today at 63 I've tried many times talking to my still in today JW family....they have accepted me as I am and made it CLEAR to me they want to remain a JW.... I'm grateful my Mom n Sister still talk to me ..it's really hard for me to accept they're JW Stand... I get SAD knowing they've been Brainwashed it's true they're waiting for the Big "A" ... holding on to the Promise of Everlasting Life n the Resurrection.... waiting for the Next Life not Living in this Life.... I guess "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" can have a different meaning Too....😲🤨🤔

I’m 29, have 2kids and am married to a wife who probably loves the organization and jehovah more than she loves me. I feel like every decision I’ve made in my life has been influenced my the organization and what we’re taught. I’m starting to “wake up”. I’ve been disassociated for about a year. I feel so alone.. what can I do? My wife doesn’t care about what I have to say when it comes to the videos I’ve been watching.. I feel so much loneliness, sadness, and anger. I feel that I missed out on making meaningful connections growing up because i was taught that only kids that were witnesses could be my friends. In time a bunch of friends a lot of the friends I did have got DFed or disassociated. I’m just venting right now...

Great to see you again Cliff 😄👍🏾! As usual, another great interview! Jacob, you're very perceptive to discern something wasn't right. I'm so happy you woke up and escaped the controlling monotonous corporate RUN-OF-MILL false disorganization. I'm so sorry you were subjected to painful disconnection from your family. Just remember: TRUTH makes enemies (Gal. 4:16); and the TRUTH you came to know exposes who THEY really are: 👉🏾 THEY prefer to love the lies of false prophets rather than love the TRUTH about their truth. WELCOME TO FREEDOM my Brother 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽😄! Enjoy the view 😎😄👍🏾

Very well done, thank you both!

Great interview. Thank you Cliff and Jacob.

"Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come. In Watchtower's case it is not an idea. Her time has come. Goodbye Watchtower!!!

The questions: "Do you still want to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses?" and "Do you believe the Faithful and Discreet Slave to be God's one true channel?" are the 2 questions they ask to determine if persons who express doubts have gone "apostate". Once you say "No" or even hesitate it is claimed you are unrepentant. So don't expect them to try and reason with you. Family and friends generally go along with the Elders decision

That my friend was an awesome interview. Probably the best one I've seen in a long time. Both you and your guest were extremely articulate in your thoughts and right on point. So thank you again.

Fifth, your best interview yet 👍

All through middle school and most of highschool. I had a friend who was JW. We where great friends for about 10 years and it wasn't untill our senior year did the friendship collapse and I came to find out that he had kept our friendship a secret from his parents and younger brother the entire time. (That was probably a good thing for both of us in the long run). Him being JW never bothered me one bit because I didn't care and also because he had always shrugged it off saying he was forever "on the fence" with his family's beliefs. That being that, he had spent quite a lot of years sneaking out, coming to partys, and getting intoxicated with us other guys, typical dumb highschool kid shit. We NEVER put pressure on him to be like us by drinking, smoking, skateboarding and having an uncontrollable lust for rock and roll. We liked what we liked and never cared if different people hung out with us. All that mattered is that you possessed kindness in your heart. From where our JW friend was coming from, he must have admired that about us so much more than we could have even imagined. Though we were close and the good times always seemed to be rolling, we never really understood just how hardcore our friends JW situation truly was. We didn't think much of it and just let the good times keep rolling... One day (about halfway into our senior year) he came to me and wanted me to get my hands on some hard alchohol for him. It was nothing new, all I had to do was take the money, call so&so's big brother or whatever and BOOM it was done. I gave him the bottle and he was on his way. He was busted by his parents that night and that was the time when my other friends and I did some research and quickly realized just how fucked JW people are to their own children. We concluded that they most likely threatened every single aspect of his life and let the church decide his ultimate full punishment. We never saw him again... that was 7 years ago and I still think about him all the time and wonder what really happened. Did he stay with the JWs and pursue life with the stability of his family like every kid wants? Or did they kick him to the streets where he was lost, lonely and helpless right before a pivotal point in most kids lives, High School Graduation. Either way, I get depressed thinking about it, wish I could go back in time and get to the bottom of it. I miss the guy so much it hurts.

Wonderful interview Jacob.

Thank you both for this video. Watching the interview hit home on an emotional & personal level for me. I grew up as a JW. At one point I had contemplated baptism but did not pursue it for many reasons. During my initial contemplation , I met with the elders who went over a series of questions with me. This part was okay. However, when I was asked if I had any questions, which i had. I was told at a later date that they did not feel that I was ready. In many ways I am thankful that they doubted me. Firsr off, I did not want to bring shame to Jehovah. And, I was doing so out of pressure. I wanted to please my mother who at the time was physically abusing me. ( the elders were aware, yet did nothing to counsel her) I thought getting baptized would somehow ease the beatings and cause her a d I to bond. Besides her abuse, I was being sexually abused by several brothers and a family member. Because of my mother's abuse towards me, I was afraid to tell her what was happening. Although I had hinted at what was happening, I waa left in the company and trust of these brothers. I was often paired with them in field service, and sent on bible studies alone with them. Because they held positions in the Hall, and had Elders aa parents, I knew that no one wouod believe me over them. This proved correct when I did report one incident. The brother involved had apparently confessed his sin. Except, he had stated that I seduced him. I was not invited to young people's gatherings, and was labeled a liar and trouble maker. This sent me into a deeper depression combined with the physical abuse and sexual abuse . I began to rebel, and ran away from home. At tye age of 18, I became pregnant. The beatings got worse, and although I was not active as a JW, I was disassociated. I was shunned by my own mother, who would only aoeak to me ir my daughter in the home. In public she would instruct me to walk on oppisite sides of the street. She has since passed away, but before she died we had rebuilt our relationship, and she apologized to me and even questioned some practices od the Organization. I am still healing. But I am free! No longer held captive by the falsehood.

As a person, "one" cannot make mistakes that are common to human beings. It is a Cult indeed!!

Great interview and insights of the world view, Jacob. There are a lot of wonderful people who are nice just because, with no ulterior motives. I was 4th generation too.

I've been DF'd since I was 18. My Dad has full on shunned me for about 18 years now, and watching this gentleman's story hit home. I have to say, looking at this with fully out eyes, disfellowshipping is INSANE. It's emotional blackmail, cruel and NOT a loving provision. It's a sick manipulation from a cult.

I just looked up ExJw Gilead Missionary, I’m going to watch each one of them. 👍 I remember a time when you would not be able to get through to me. BUT looking back, I was ALWAYS asking MYSELF questions. I don’t think, even as a child, that I truly believed but when you are surrounded by it because of family you don’t ask questions OUT LOUD. 😄 I been out 30 years. Take care 🥰

I love what you said about how you're happier, less judgmental, more loving/forgiving, more open to the beauty of life now that you're out. I'm an ex-Mormon and I had the very same experience. Like coming out of a cave into the light.

That songbook was my trigger too. Felt like mind control music. Like they were purposely slowing down the brainwaves so the Hypnosis could begin.

Gracias Cliff, tus entrevistas me ayudaron a despertar recientemente, sobre todo el video donde cuentas tu historia personal. Saludos.

This is THE best channel exposing the JW cult on RU-vid. Fascinating and informative.

Good interview

Cliff - you are such an excellent interviewer…you should be employed on a radio talk show and utilise your amazing skills to earn a living from.

Great interview. Turned left around 56:ish but then came back around.🤣Glad I watched until the end.👍🏾

Thank you for taking time to tell us you story, Jacob

My family put up a wall very quickly as well. I thought they’d want to know why and would be concerned about me being “spiritually sick”, but instead they treated me like I was prideful and didn’t even want to engage in dialog to see what had made me change my mind. I think because the society puts so much pressure on appearance, on not stumbling others, I felt like I needed to clear my name. I also didn’t want them to think I left to just go sin and do worldly things... but now I see that it was a waste of time. It’s if no use. The society’s rules on shunning makes it very easy for them to dehumanize us and stick with the orgs narrative that we’re disease minded and harmful to their spirituality. It’s sad and hurtful, but realizing that made it easier to forgive (to an extent) and move on with life. Much love goes out to all the ex jws who are struggling to just live. You can do it!! It gets better ❤️ thanks for these interviews fifth! Much appreciated!

Another awesome interview. Thank you both for sharing this story. It’s one thing when the rank and file leave but it’s totally different when someone of such a high caliber in the organization decides to leave.

Gracias Cliff por tan buena entrevista, es bueno ver a dos personas inteligentes, maduras, respetuosas y pacificas dialogar con tanta lógica, saludos desde Buenos Aires, Argentina!!!

Fifth, Excellent, well thought out interview. Jacob's story will touch many lives. I appreciate both of you gentleman's logical, reasonable, and kind approach when presenting this information.

Great interview Fifth and Jacob! Jacob, I loved to hearing your point of view and your genuine concern for people including jdubs. I agree, they are victims and deserve kindness and understanding especially from those of us that have walked in their shoes. I'm sorry to hear your family is shunning you. I hope some of them at least wake up before it's too late to truly know you. I wish the same for you fifth. Thanks for sharing!

WOW 🥺 How much I can relate. Plus so many eye-opening and thought-provoking reflections and remarks that help me unerstand the puzzles I am still trying to put back together. Fifth, thank you and your guests for your time and sharing! ❤️🌻

I think it's true regarding contact. My family made excuses to contact me when I had been df'd all the time they thought I might come back when I "cleaned up my life", however since they realise that I've been researching the organisation and don't agree with it I've heard nothing

Excellent interview, very interesting.

brave dude - inspirational.

I always liked the word Agape Love, means unconditional BUT never felt it. So many things you two have discussed is so very much like it was for me 30 years ago. It’s still going on.

This is the second interview (the first one was with Tony, the guy that had to be masked up for fear of being discovered) where elders bent the rules in order to disfellowship someone. Thinking about this, the same thing happened to a friend of mine years before I eventually got DF'd. They asked him to come to a judicial committee and because he wasn't present, they just disfellowshipped him in his absence. Crazy thing is, it didn't occur to me how unjust that was, to not hear him out and to not give him a 'fair' trial. I'll never know (because I don't know where he is now), but I wonder if he had essentially rejected their authority already and that's why he didn't attend the judicial. Right now, I can't figure out how I accepted that as ok. The more cases I hear the more apparent it is that there were a lot of abuses. AND a lot of 'sneaky' behaviour to get people DF'd.

As a child growing up in Jw organization I feel deeply connected to those like myself who see the "cult" not religion this group is. My father's family are still active and they don't speak to me... no loss cause my uncle who is my dad's bro in law is an Elder and when my dad passed after being shunned my uncle came to funeral and lead services. He basically said all the wrong things like well my dad is doomed and if we plan on not having same demise we must seek truth. My dad was my hero my uncle ruined his memory and that I can't forgive. Not to mention my aunt did not attend and this was her older brother. It breaks my heart to see those in organization losing grip as my family has. Thank u for these videos it shows me I'm not alone

Muchísimas gracias Fith impresionante la entrevista muy buenos razonamientos y conclusiones,y muy buena ayuda para poder liberar a muchos que tienen dudas. Gracias también por estos Videos y los subtítulos en español un cariñoso saludo desde España

Thank you Jacob. You rock!!!😊

50:00-50:20 is so true. Being raised in the watchtower I was always taught that associating with those outside the congregation is bad.and when I got older and started to become friends with “worldly” people actually helped slowly open my eyes. I saw that there were some good people in the world . They inspired me to do good things and even helped me to be more independent.

Thanks for a great interview very solid points made about the jw and all the false teachings.

Jacob seems to have a sweet heart. I’m glad he’s free and thriving. We who have been raised in the JW religion/cult (Second Generation) have an unusual life experience. 50 years later and I’m still so glad to be free.

Really superb unbiased analysis of Jehovah's Witnesses. So many good points it needs watching twice. I hope Jacob you write a book. And how your family did what they did to you proves theres no true love in this Org. Thank you so much for sharing.

Gracias por los subtítulos Fifh, no sabes como nos ayudas. Excelente trabajo👍🏻. Saludos cordiales

Great interview. Thumbs up. Great job guys. It is so challenging when family ,and so called friends turn their back on you. Personal opinion, l feel empathy for those whose eyes are opened but empathy from afar the one still manipulated.

It occurs to me !! That some of these appointed elders love the importance of the position to be able to crush any Human feelings or INTELLEGENCE, that threatens there egos and status in this organisation . And so they close ranks with each other without questioning whither the person in question could have a point ? A kangaroo court ! I believe if Jesus stood before them under any questioning ! They would disfellowship him on the spot !

I really appreciate Jacobs story and honesty. I like that he didn’t stoop to a low level and just presented his facts.

Thanks for your excellent interview....they're truly helpful for everyone who is starting to think for themselves. 👍

I am impressed with your ability to think outside the box! Seeing cracks in the organization through a new song book that is not uplifting. Realizing another book is giving you more comfort than the bible. You are a truly amazing and intelligent individual. Best wishes for your future!

50:00 like this part where he said JWs are dark and despressed. So true, they say they’re the most happiest people but I think they just put on a show.

Fabulous interview Fifth.. and thank you Jacob .. there were so many good points to take away from this which will help others. One of the best interviews I have listened to so far.

Great interview! Fantastic question about the general public’s view of the plight of the JW.

If this guy cannot endure it then that reaffirms for me how difficult and awkward this org is.

Great interview. I can empathize with how he had to leave the truth. I had to move countries to get myself unshackled. Thank you for bringing this insightful guy to our attention.

Excellent interview! Thank you

That book you mentioned looks interesting. I will read it as well. It seems to be full of good practical wisdom that we can all use i our life's. 'Don't sweat the small stuff'.

He's right, they don't want to reason from the scriptures anymore. If you go up to a cart all they want to do is give you a card to go to the website or playing those videos. So now it's not a teaching work anymore. It's a judgement work going on so they aren't making as much effort. Oh!! Is that "new light"??

Thank you Fifth, for this great interview. WOW Jacob, I felt so many similarities with your story. Not that I ever went to Bethel, but your sincere and genuine character. I very much like that you are a deep thinker and have remained an upstanding admirable person. When you stated that you haven't taken up celebrating birthdays, or celebrating Christmas, and that it was very important to you, that your family know you left for a good reason....I can sooo relate with you on that. Your calm and thoughtful manner of speaking, has intrigued me to look into Noah's Ark story....and also JWfacts. I have been out for about 20 years, and it is nice to meet people who aren't angry or bitter that fall into the WT accusation of how apostates behave. Thank you Jacob for sharing your very touching story. I wish you happiness and success in life, it would be great to maybe meet you some time.

I never understood how JW's could preach about Love, yet they were quick to shun a member for falling short. And they would instruct us on how to engage worldly people in field service , in hopes of securing a home bible study. So much hypocrisy

Great interview as always.

The former Gilead missionary channel really helped me also. My family was highly involved as well, so it helped me to see people who had been sincere devoted fulltime servants who had come to rational conclusions. It helped me to undoctrinate.

I totally understand what Jacob said at minute 22:00, that is very disappointing when you are doing all that you can, and then a fatty jerk Elder or Circuit Overseer comes and tell you "you can do more". I remember when I was 14 I was so happy that my congregation will have a new kingdom hall, that I left the regular pioneering work aside to focus in helping to build that kingdom hall. When I reported less than 50 hours that month, then the Circuit Overseer came and told me off, for not being preaching as I used to. I went home and starting crying because I felt that treatment so injust, and I believed that Jehovah was looking my heart and he knows that what I made by dedicating full time after school to help in the kingdom's hall building.

Thanks for sharing your story Jacob. I need to get the book "sweat the small stuff".

The funeral talk!! They did this to my mom as well. Some of my family are witnesses and some aren’t. We had her service at the funeral home with a talk at her Kingdom Hall later that week. A family member had the people at the funeral home reprint the booklets with the talks location, time, and date. The talk was very brief unlike the talks they used to give JWs. At the end they announce her talk in a way that made it seem as if the current service or talk wasn’t the real one or as important. They had already gone to question my mother about her changes to get blood card and POA for medical. They asked her if she had received the translation in Spanish. My mother’s illness and death was a huge eye opener for me because of their behavior. It was truly appalling.

great testimony

OMG!! I felt exactly the same as his friend in Tennessee! It's amazing how many of these stories are so similar to mine.

Thanks for these great videos!!

Excellent interview.

Great interview!! Thank you for sharing your life experiences

Thank you for sharing your experience. I must say that I had similar ‘straw’... which broke me.. I was doing all a woman could I the org... I mean.. pioneer, temp bethel.. construction.. my home was a place for service groups.. and I was told.. I am not an exemplary pioneer. It was ... so hurtful and so crazy unfair.. I did snap something.. great interview.

This video is very informative!! You are very strong Jacob. Thank you so much for this video! God bless 🙏

Great interview:)

Love your videos Cliff! You seem like a kind hearted person❤

I completely agree with his take on JWs, and his awakening process was similar to mine. It is so very good to be out, awake, and free; finally living a good and peaceful life, open to giving and receiving unconditional love. I also highly recommend Steven Pinker's "Angels of Our Better Nature."

NEVERMIND THE SONGBOOK...THE WHOLE RELIGION IS MORBID & DEPRESSING!!!!!

Awesome video keep up the good work💕

It's amazing that a phantasy driven organization, without a solid foothold in reality has a status system. And within that system, people strive to reach a pinnacle that holds no value except in the eyes of the devotees. Self importance and high ego drive seem to be commonplace. I really enjoyed the interview and echo the positive comments on your interviewing style.