Walmart & Marriage | Don McMillan Comedy

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BEEEP...Booooop....
#marriage #walmart #standupcomedy
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🤓Don’s Bio🤓
America's #1 Nerdy Comedian
What do you get when you cross an Engineer with a stand-up comedian? You get Don McMillan. This former chip designer has been doing his one-of-a-kind, PowerPoint-Driven comedy show for audiences for over 20 years. In his show packed with graphs & charts, Don will show you the funny side of your world that has been sitting right in front of you - you are just too busy working to notice. Don graduated from Stanford University with a Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering. He then went to work at AT&T Bell Labs where he was part of the team that designed the world’s first 32-bit microprocessor. He then moved to Silicon Valley where he helped launch the start-up company, VLSI Technology. Then after 15 years in the tech world, Don quit his job to become a stand-up comedian. That year he won $100,000 as the Comedy Grand Champion on “Star Search”. Don’s been seen on “The Tonight Show”, “HBO”, and the “Comedy Central”. These days, Don spends most of his time writing and performing customized corporate comedy shows for companies like Google, Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, Ford Motors, and Exxon/Mobil. Don has performed more than 800 corporate shows in the last 20 years and he was named the #1 Corporate Comedian by the CBS Business Network.

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Опубликовано:

13 сен 2023

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Комментарии : 122

@oledahammer8393 9 месяцев назад

I'm a systems engineer, I know EXACTLY what he's talking about! There is an EFFICIENT way to load the dishwasher and do dishes by hand...and an INEFFECIENT way! So, my wife let's me just take care of keeping the kitchen clean and I have less stress, she does the laundry because the "efficient" way (my way) is to put everything in together and use warm/cold and done! LOL. This separation of duties makes us both happy and less stress! It has worked for 34 years so far!

@davidt3956 9 месяцев назад

I'm even happier because I live by myself. 🤣 Everything is done the way I feel is most efficient. Wonderful.

@eywine.7762 9 месяцев назад

@@davidt3956Ditto

@csjrogerson2377 9 месяцев назад

If I was applying logic and efficiency, I'd end up doing everything in and outside of the house. So, I allow my wife to do what she wants and I let her get on with it. No matter how long it takes.

@stephen3164 9 месяцев назад

Toss in a “color catcher” and call it a day!

@achristian7015 7 месяцев назад

I am not an engineer of any kind, but everything I do is logical and it drives friends around me nuts. Why would I do it any other way.

@moose-3379 4 месяца назад

I showed this video to my mother and sister. When Don said that his wife had a product for when you use too many hair products, they looked at each other and said: "clarifier". 😂

@xio3857 4 месяца назад

😂

@TheSilliestGoose731 9 месяцев назад

“I have to willingly do this inefficiently I’m in pain!” I *felt* that and I’m not even married

@Michiganman800 2 месяца назад

Eye-opening

@oledahammer8393 9 месяцев назад

Funny as heck and NO swearing needed! THAT is a true comedian!

@CaptainBlitz 9 месяцев назад

Fuck yeah!

@hermask815 8 месяцев назад

@@CaptainBlitz I guess we have to use double entendres then. No dirty words, just dirty minds with a clean outside.

@achristian7015 7 месяцев назад

Unlike Sam Kinison with his constant yelling that I could not stand or even find funny. But I did like George Carlin.

@ronaldkonkoma4356 Месяц назад

I'd like to see him and seinfeld do each other's material. Wall mart, who are these people

@ronaldkonkoma4356 Месяц назад

@achristian7015 Sam, i thought was good with Rodney in Back to School. Once I found out he was a preacher, his act made a little more sense to me and i started watching his older material. Comedian, showing Jerry back on the road, gives insight into the writing process, so George Carlin YES!!! The work he must have put into getting that exactly right - I can't even imagine. If I remember correctly, George was at a crossroads with his career and his wife said, LET'S DO THIS

@stephen3164 9 месяцев назад

Ooh, I can answer both the tiny pillow AND the curtain questions: It’s not that there are tiny dwarfs sleeping on the bed during the day, it’s that there are tiny dwarfs sleeping on the floor at night! That’s why you put the pillows out for them. Where are they during the day? They live under the bed - hence the curtain. They like some privacy. Also, consider buying “hair & body wash” - one bottle, cleans the whole body. 👍

@chapmag6578 9 месяцев назад

So true, as an engineer now in 32nd year if marriage, took me about 15 years to learn not solve the problems and just with Dons words….last 17 years have been a piece of cake….😎

@BadPhD777 9 месяцев назад

So true

@Pemj2k 9 месяцев назад

Congratulations! These days, people are lucky if their partner gives them 2 years to learn that.

@gregb6469 9 месяцев назад

It's not so much that you try to solve the problem as it is you misdiagnose the problem. The real problem is your wife's perceived lack of emotional validation from you for what she is feeling. Take care of that, and she won't mind if later you go fix whatever is broken (if it is fixable).

@Pemj2k 9 месяцев назад

@@gregb6469 🤯I'm going to have to remember that if I ever get married.

@benwagner5089 9 месяцев назад

@@gregb6469 So what she has is two problems that she needs us to fix. First we have to empathize with her having a bad day due to the fixable problem (lack of self reliance, as we "big strong men" learned growing up), then we have to fix the problem she was complaining about anyway. To guys, action speaks louder than words. She complained about it being broken, he fixed it. That's his way of saying "I care about you."

@velcroman11 Месяц назад

Years ago my wife will come to me with a problem. Stupidly, I too would solve the problem. Instead of her thanking me for solving the problem, her response was “You’re always telling me what to do.”

@therealstuffedzebra 9 месяцев назад

That shoulder-high drum of hair cleaner now comes only in a six-pack of half-gallon sized pump bottles that costs $35.99. Incidentally, the product can be used to etch glass, degrease transmission gears, and remove baked-on paint.

@bobstadelmayer8402 9 месяцев назад

Oh, you forgot to mention the clearance bin at Menard's. That's like winning the lottery for us analytical, cheap types! 😁

@jackmandu 9 месяцев назад

And you still get the 11% rebate.

@anonnymouse2402 3 месяца назад

"Irrationally logical" - I love this

@amochswohntet99 Месяц назад

This is genius. He hits them with a killer slapstick joke to loosen up the crowd and then delivers the logical jokes. Amazing.

@MarylandFarmer. 9 месяцев назад

That's me with the shampoo. I just finished the last bottle I bought at least 5 years ago. So I grab the same one the next time at the store but then around the corner, oh there's a bigger bottle and it's cheaper per ounce! So yeah I won't be needing anymore until 2033.

@josiesmith1295 3 месяца назад

I'm not an engineer,but in every other way this man is me. I'm cheap,cheap,cheap and love it!

@jeffreyb.2817 8 месяцев назад

2:00. As a fellow engineer, this also applies to raising daughters. I am a widower with a teenage daughter, my "fixing it" skill emotionally break her down, just like it dose with you wife and did with my late wife.

@JamesTDG 3 месяца назад

2:53 I've recently been hearing about a different approach: "Do you want a solution or empathy?", or simply "Solution or empathy?"

@robertmcconnell3788 3 месяца назад

Wait a darn minute... No cargo pants!

@ctpaul1261 25 дней назад

This guy kills me. This is a 6 minute and 15 second video. I laughed 26 times, which works out to one hearty laugh every 14.42 seconds on average. This betters my previous best laugh rate of 16.26 seconds (Carrot Top, but that's a different story), which makes Don McMillan the greatest comedian in the world according to me. PS - suggestion for title of Don's next special; "Killin' With McMillan."

@starrbunnyart 3 месяца назад

I still picture this guys' comedy in Powerpoint format from that one bit you did years ago. Thanks Don, I can't stop thinking about PowerPoint because of you and I love it!

@WesternAustraliaNowAndThen 9 месяцев назад

Always very clever and always very funny. Computer programmers are obviously very similar to engineers when it comes to logic :)

@tomasusan 9 месяцев назад

Computer programmers are called software engineers. Probably the most common type of engineer there is today.

@TheDrunkenMug 9 месяцев назад

Genuinely hilarious 😂😄

@Allen.Morrison 4 месяца назад

So much truth from one EE to another hahah.

@_b_e_n_ 9 месяцев назад

as some one who is studying to be an engineer thanks for the heads up

@rgnestle 7 месяцев назад

It felt TOO SHORT! MOAR!!!! ENTERTAIN ME NAOW!!! (Thanks for the video! You are awesome!!!)

@Calico5string1962 9 месяцев назад

Pure gold! 😂😂

@rossshin184 3 месяца назад

My husband is a "decorator", he decorated his bathroom. I HATE all those dust collectors he puts everywhere! Help! (PS. I'm a woman...)

@eywine.7762 9 месяцев назад

Don is one of the funniest people ever.

@richardl6751 9 месяцев назад

Why is the curtain around the bed? To keep the monsters in, of course.

@Matt123a 2 месяца назад

It hides all the extra pillows and dolls you don't know about.

@andraslibal 8 дней назад

I could fix this but I am not allowed :))) Every man felt this.

@karlau1084 9 месяцев назад

I love seeing you at ILTA in Orlando this year! Your videos helped keep me alive during Covid, and it was a delight to see you in person!

@ellman10 9 месяцев назад

Brilliant😂

@robertngreen6 9 месяцев назад

Brilliant observations!

@timdere 8 месяцев назад

Thanks for letting me laugh at myself today!

@jimwormmaster 20 дней назад

I absolutely lost it at "POOB"

@simonetozzi7912 3 месяца назад

This sketch is genius!!!

@brianmarshall8537 3 месяца назад

Sales of loose onions soared when self checkouts arrived even at stores that didn’t sell loose onions.

@oenthusiast 22 дня назад

RU-vid algorithm fed me a shampoo commercial in the middle of this routine.

@gaston8512 3 месяца назад

Every profession has it's peckadillos: Lawyers, Dr's, Teachers, Politicians, etc. I could do a 5 minute Standup for each, esp IT Guys. My ex is on her 3rd (I was 2). When she told me she was marrying a 3rd IT Guy I exclaimed "you're a glutton for punishment, aren't you!!" Lol

@a.c.e.7568 День назад

Women and dust collecting knick knacks go together. So nice to be single.

@PamWD 5 дней назад

On the problem-solving things...a lot of times women do want advice/suggestions on a situation and other times we just want to vent! So my husband and I worked out that if I want help I'll say I do, and he'll offer suggestions. If I say I just want to vent, I'll say so and then he'll just vent with me! Communication!! No one can fully read another person's mind, so say what you want or need. (Been married 46 years.) And yeah, love the clean comedy!

@kdemetter 25 дней назад

1:25 That's funny, because I work for a supermarket chain developing self-checkout solutions, and we considered implementing that reverse "boop" for a moment in one of our solutions ( it uses a camera that tracks the barcode, not a classical barcode reader) We scrapped the idea because no one else does it, so we assumed it would be too confusing

@ninglight4433 22 дня назад

[2:56] As an engineer I understand this fully, as a mathematician (yes, I know what combo), I even could optimise it further, still my husband doesn't want to hear even the first solution.

@thrpins8430 8 месяцев назад

This makes me want to stay single 😂

@blondluck4621 7 месяцев назад

How can you call yourself an engineer if you don't even know the curtain around the bottom of the bed is to stop the monsters from coming out?

@beeble2003 4 дня назад

I don't even know what you call yourself but the curtain is obviously to stop the monsters getting _in._

@KingRat355 6 месяцев назад

his observations are insanely true. It's like he is a seinfeld on steroids. There are enough creativity to make a seinfeld or a curb series.

@thohangst Месяц назад

P O O B

@Spect3r. 19 дней назад

My father till this day just buy the cheapest shampoo available whenever he goes shopping, because in his own words "they are all the same, they all come fromt the same big machine" lolol

@eligebrown8998 7 месяцев назад

😂😂😂

@timl.b.2095 3 месяца назад

Everyone has to have their first time at a self-checkout. Cut him some slack. I'm clumsy at it, too.

@user-sm6qu2yh4w 4 месяца назад

Sweet

@ProductBasement 3 месяца назад

This is why, if my wife dies early and before me (God forbid), the only woman I would consider dating is Ayn Rand

@LesCish 9 месяцев назад

As a guy, I can proudly say I have only two bottles in my shower. OTOH I must have 30 bottles of cleaning products beneath my kitchen sink and bathroom lavatory, some of which are several years old..

@jollybeancomedy 9 месяцев назад

Good to see you're not using slides here😁

@jonkobler1637 9 месяцев назад

I'm looking for the day we get to sweep the floors at Walmart

@lifelessdreamer 8 месяцев назад

Joke's on you, most of the floor sweeper machines are automated now and don't even require an employee at all :') It's a terrifying thing to witness TBQH. Like a giant clumsy roomba.

@Oh_Fudge. 9 месяцев назад

As someone that have several civil engineers in the family but not being a engineer myself. I dont know/understand why (if not all, but deffenetly some) engineers have it hardwired into them that things always have to be over done/thought. Being a bit of a little bit of a jack-of-all-trades mecanic/fabricator (car-mecanic, blacksmithing, boatbuilding educations). Something that will take my father (one of the engineers) 3 - 4 hours to make/fix (if not longer) I can make/fix in under an hour. If the plummer comes to fix something I get what the plummer says/describes right away, dad can stand and scratch his head. P.S Anyone that has a engineer in the famliy but isent a engineer yourself. Hit the thumbs up if the engineering familymember have ever said something in the line of " " Dont worry, I know because I'm an engineer" "

@Yupppi 3 месяца назад

I gotta say, what the hell were design engineers thinking when they DIDN'T implement unboop? That makes so much sense and optimally you design things to have no learning curve and be very intuitive and relatable to other things. Make unbooping a thing. And dude, this was my learning curve too as something like 25 year old dating seriously. Turns out i was an even more exciting problem to solve, because it had all these intricate and hidden rules that seemingly made sense, but that you could work out to be some sort of network that fits into a process flowchart eventually. And executing that was also an interesting challenge of self control, trying to manage your inner drive to do things the "right" way.

@nisi6295 2 месяца назад

This is actually user experience design 🤓

@FistandFootMartialArts 9 месяцев назад

Pretty good! For instance, The pillow bit has been overdone by now, yet he brought new life and humor to it. The same with the Self-check-out. He breathes new life into common materiel 👍

@deborahhemstreet1545 2 месяца назад

I still have a giant box of plastic wrap I bought in the USA at Costco in2009. I’m in Israel now, brought it with me, still good and still have half to go

@frankyanish4833 8 месяцев назад

Our family could use a 12-pack of rakes. Ours keep braking.

@alysiam1 2 месяца назад

He is hilarious, I would love to work with him we would have a hoot!

@rgsiiiya 9 месяцев назад

The answer to your bed pillow and curtain is: gnomes!!! Didn't you know that gnomes sleep on those pillows during the day!!! and the curtain is where they hide at night, or whenever you enter the bedroom. This is common knowledge, i'm surprised you didn't know it.... ;-)

@debbiepeterson6829 3 месяца назад

The curtain be to keep the dust bunnies down. Better yet, put the box spring on the floor. No dust bunnies.

@danielloewen2857 9 месяцев назад

Hey dont make the dwarves sleep on the floor! You're funny, but that won't keep you safe if the dwarves get angry

@davetutelman 3 месяца назад

Love your stuff -- but then, I'm an engineer, too. If you're a REAL engineer, it's who you are, not just what you do. And that seems to be the root of much of your comedy. I resonate with it. As for "cheap"... We engineers are taught that in school, true. I understand you are ex-Bell Labs, like me. Bell Labs selected based on a bunch of criteria, but "cheap" was definitely one of them. And it was reinforced and rewarded at work. I'm glad you don't apologize for that; it was a major survival trait in the culture where we worked.

@SeaScoutDan 8 месяцев назад

The point of bed pillows is to prevent napping during the day.

@22busy43 Месяц назад

My wife makes our soap. I have one bar of soap in the shower. I wash my hair and my body with it. When that runs out I grab another bar.

@parparit59 3 месяца назад

His pants don’t have a zipper

@paulinesmith6553 3 месяца назад

I’m still working on my shampoo from Costco I bought in 2020 and it’s 2024. Going through chemo twice and having no hair for 3 years has contributed to this.

@beeble2003 4 дня назад

That's cheating!

@jakeg3126 8 месяцев назад

Was that Seth Macfarlane at 0:51?

@jskrenes 9 месяцев назад

“My wife has a product in the shower that’s for when you use too many products in your hair.” Well I’m not going to judge because I have a guitar pedal on my pedal board for when you use too many effect pedals in your signal chain.