Watch out for the narcissist’s FAKE DISCARD 

Discards of any kind work too well on me. If I get discarded, I just go with it. To me, it's a clear sign I'm not needed or wanted by the person and I move on. Funny thing is, the narc always comes rolling back, shocked I actually moved on. What did they expect? Begging? Pleading? I suppose they did, but I'm the type to respect people's boundaries, and if I'm not wanted, I go. That's it. No games. If you discard me and want me back you better have a HELL of an excuse for what you're up to because I take the discard very seriously. Don't mess around.

Narcissist do not want to leave they want people to beg them to stay and its so obvious it's embarrassing

For some narcs, the discarding phases are just excuses to go find attention elsewhere, and when it doesn't work out, they need a re-entry pass to come back, but have too much pride to say I was wrong and I'm sorry so they manipulate & guilt trip you into thinking everything was your fault, and most times, we fall for it.

I can’t believe he was shocked and didn’t realize that discarding people sends the message you hate them and don’t want anything to do with them, so people will actually leave and not fight to stay. Why would I fight for a person who hates me, when there’s so many nicer people in the world who will love me?

My ex would use mini breakups as a control tactic and cheat during that time period. It was all manipulation.

This is typical narcissism expecting empathy but can't show any

Spoken like a true narcissist. He said,"I'm sorry you feel that way" as an apology. And he also said the narcissist will take you back if "you bend the knee." No thanks to being a supply doormat ✌️

Even as he’s describing it I’m getting anxiety 😬 We really are strong for putting up with their immature, unreasonable toxicity.

I learned that everything I want others to give me I need to find in myself

This happened to me and each time they've threatened to leave or cut me off, I tell them to not let the door hit them on their way out and wish them luck. I won't hold them hostage if they don't want to be in my life.

This sums it up perfectly what happened to me 3 times. The first 2 fake discards, I cried and begged him not to leave- but after the second time, right at the end of our conversation it was like a light bulb went off in my brain- "why the heck am I fighting for this guy?" Why am I fighting to keep a guy who is just playing mind games? Who just wants to make me cry so that he feels needed? I told myself that day if he did it 1 more time I was done. He ended up checking out other women online at the same moment I was in the emergency room at a hospital- that was the final straw for me.

It’s good that some Narcissistic people are becoming aware & learnings to control their behaviors bc they are playing a dangerous game🫣. Some people may not take their games very lightly & it could lead to serious consequences. It’s dangerous going around playing with peoples emotions💯

Probably the best explanation on this type discard ever.

People don't lose focus on the real goal. The real goal is to separate yourself from ANY narcissist in your life. So if they pull away, let them. If they end the relationship, great, keep it that way. Your life will be so much better. Just move on.

I was in a 10 year relationship with a narcissist and was recently discarded after she found a new supply. Out of the blue I got a text saying she is in a new relationship with someone else now and she will be stepping back. Then she blocked me. I found out that she was seeing this guy for 4 months before she told me I had no idea. Even though I feel angry sad used and taken advantage of and after all the wasted time and tens of thousands of dollars that spent on her and gave her. i have to thank god for taking me away from this toxic relationship. I never knew what a narcissist was but now I know everything about them and I know what signs to look out for now to avoid them. Now I can start to heal

These behaviors are really difficult to make sense out of. Thank you for the explanation.

My narcissist discarded me very abruptely and told me with very few words that she didn't love me anymore and all that stuff and that i probably should go look for someone else. I was devastated at the time, no closure at all, no matter how much i begged for one last, adult conversation. One week later she was publicly flaunting her new supply (whom i believe was already at the background when we were still together), but when she found out i was trying to rebuild myself from the fallout that was my life and started seeing other women (like she advised me to do in the first place), she hoovered me, got me back (yeah, i didnt know anything back then about NPD at all) and gave me a lot of crap for making out with other girls when she was the one who discarded me and told me to do so, and of course used it to try and justify her discard and brief adventure with her new supply at that time as being "the exact same thing" as i did. Lesson learned: If someone discards you, don't chase them back. Don't crawl for someone who gave such a clear statement that they don't want to be with you, regardless of how it hurts.

My ex did this and I wondered about it, but what he said was terrible. It completely backfired on him. Now he lies about it because I broke up with him for it. He tells people I'm crazy, but he was just cold, harsh and awful.

Adults aren't abandoned. They're left.

Very gripping video dude! Tip from a long time victim of a narcissist: If you really want someone not to abandon you, stop with the "discards" if you don't mean it. Your victim may feel sad to be abandoned by you the first few times and try to mend the relations, but after more times, total indifference sets in and they actually do abandon you. Not to get back at you or anything; that's the thing, they feel neither anger or sadness or joy at the thought of you anymore. They feel more like they've outgrown you or something. Like you just don't matter anymore because you have no friendship to offer and would just be tiresome with your tantrums; if anything you seem a joke who thinks he's still relevant to the victim but actually the victim just thinks the narcissist is ill and sad and irredeemable and no longer is even on the priority list anymore. That's where I am with a long time narcissist anyway, who discarded me so many times yet always keeps approaching me after many months with apparent intentions of friendship, asif they think I'm still the one who desires that, when really it's like if they never approach me again I'm at peace with that. And if they do I know it won't last long because they're ill and will end all contact soon enough after throwing some kind of hissy fit, so we might as well not waste the time. Anyway, thanks for your video. It was good to hear from a narcissist that the narcissist does actually desire to be loved and fears the abandonment, yet keeps steering things theretowards because they're sick in the head. I have suspected that the narcissist deep down did desire friendship with me, but whatwith the way they kept telling me that I'm just too horrible to be liked, I was starting to think perhaps they're just lying about wanting to be friends because they just wanted a victim to hurt and never wanted to be friends in the first place. I guess they did but by now I don't care. So my warning remains: Yes, you WILL be abandoned due to total indifference if you keep doing the discard thing. Every time your victim gets desensitized and also outgrows you a little until they feel you're just too stupid and childish and high-effort-no-reward-lots-of-unneeded-sacrifice to have around.

This is exactly what happened with my ex-narc fake discard. They are carefully crafted messages, to cut you off at the knees. I sent a lovely text back telling him what he meant to me in every way I could. He responded. I then blocked him. He then went into panic mode trying to get me back in many different ways. I never looked back, he was engaged shortly thereafter. That all blew up. Rear view mirror now. All healed up and glad that nightmare is over. Lessons learned even at my advanced age. The older narcs are smarter they have been at the game a long time, and it is a game to them, like a cat with a mouse. Interesting experience I never want to repeat.

"I don't have to be vulnerable, and I get what I want." That sums it up perfectly. I damn near had to destroy myself to get out of this type of vice like and sadistic grasp from someone I loved and cared about so deeply, I had to repeatedly mutilate and murder my feelings for them over and over and over again, for almost 2 years to get myself out for good. Never again. Never. I know he'll never come back. I know I'll never go back. Never. It is an insurmountable amount of pain in my heart space that I could never hope to support by myself. I will energetically suffocate, shrivel up and die if I go back to that kind of communication gap that is impossible to fill by oneself. My verdict: You can't control and hurt people like that. Not without receiving the consequences in full. I don't care who you are or what you've been through. My body's safety is more important than that. I will die before I show them a fawning response, or even consider trusting them again after the way they behaved towards me. Never again. Never. Aside from that, I really appreciate hearing this from your perspective, it helps so I can have clarity as to why I received this kind of pain from someone so I can understand and navigate it, and hopefully wish them the best even though I have created this distance to protect myself. It is greatly appreciated and illuminating as to what I already felt and suspected was going on. It brings me a great relief. Thank you. I hope you can continue learning and sharing your knowledge along your recovery journey.

This is awesome hearing another take. You hit the nail on the head, when I grew a pair and started setting boundaries with her, everything changed quickly. The narcissist did a fake discard. I knew it was fake. I still had her clunker car parked in my driveway that didn't run. She still had my brand new car driving around. I had friends repossess my own car. She expected me to fix her car. I did the real discard with blocking and no contact. My circumstances are different. I feel once I set boundaries, she already secretly had new supply. Having other financial means by using other people as well because she doesn't work, gave her the attitude to treat me horribly. The abandonment fear I agree with your take 100 percent. She's too proud and will act all arrogant and invulnerable. However, listening to her, she has none of her childhood friends. We grew up in a small town so I know some of her friends. Her relationships with other men were disasters too. The warning flags were there all along. I was too stupid to pick up on them. I felt sorry for her. I believed her situation would get better but it never will unless she changes. Also the narcissist she is, she always has to be at odds with someone. She reported her complex to the housing authority. She strode to get a maintenance worker fired over sexual harassment. She's cyberstalking me now. Through people we both know, she keeps tabs on me. I remain with my stand on blocking with no contact. When people ask me about her, I say there's no communication. If she has something to say she needs to tell my lawyer. I told them it's come to this. If I had something to say which I don't likewise I'd tell my lawyer. She sued me and lost. That's where my attorney comes in. Narcissists can be seriously toxic. Best is to block no contact. When people ask just say there's no more communication.

Every week he keeps starting fights and initiating breakups over nothing, even when I've done nothing but show him love and acceptance. What's interesting now is that nothing he does hurts me anymore. I'm actually quite surprised by my ability to detach. Even though I love him, none of the hurtful things he does causes me pain. After learning that he might have npd, his antics are so predictable now and I understand he is not in control of himself. Since I'm not hurt, its easy not to fight back, I just ignore him. He is a lovely man, if there was a way to make him stop being disrespectful over nothing, he'd be perfect. Sadly, I don't know how to teach him to stop destroying our relationship even when everything is fine. I love him very much but I am fine being without him. He wants me to argue with him and I wont 🙂. I'll keep ignoring him until he chooses to be lovely again on his own.

What’s interesting is that you respond to comments that thank you- but do not frequently respond to those that specifically tell their own stories and are asking for empathy in an indirect way. It’s almost like you’re searching for “you” in many places. Not judging at all, it’s an observation into the narcissistic personality. Thank you for opening up and being vulnerable to us, it truly helps. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY! TRUTH is the key to everything … you’re blessed enough to actually have your eyes opened to get it. Subscribed ✅✅✅

This is all so true. My narc husband left me and I was healing while he was trying to patch things up. The further away I got from him, the more I realized that he treated me like shit. Now it's been almost half a year and he's still calling, but it's easy for me to resist because I'm over him.

You actually seem more direct than Dr Ramani. Narcissists I've met do drive me mad but I hope you find what you're looking for. Doesn't everyone deserve to be loved...

My ex covert narcissist never blew up not once in years together always was a silent treatment

On the one hand it is painful to hear you disclose your process and on the other hand, those of us who have been discarded despite the wedding vows, are seeking a deeper understanding of what is really going on. I commend you for being willing to be vulnerable and actually share your process out here in the world! it's a hard space to hold but I'm grateful that you're willing to be so vulnerable so thank you.

And then when we come back we get it twice as bad because you lost respect for us for coming back. 😩 Thanks for the tip on the long message- I’ve seen that a few times. Helps us understand what we need to prepare for. 😊

Excellent video. If I responded to one of his unprovoked rants in a way that was not pleasing to him he'd twist things around to make it entirely my fault. One time he said"I don't need a therapist, I need a friend" then punished me with silent treatment until I apologized for what I didn't do.

You make the shame and fear of abandonment sound very understandable and natural. I have PTSD because of abuse, and I can definitely see some overlaps between NPD and my own problems. I also have an extreme fear of abandonment to the point that I will discard a person long before they can discard me, in order to avoid the pain of abandonment. I'm extremely sensitive to criticism and will regard anyone who criticises me as an opponent. My thinking is black and white. Either you're my friend or my enemy. My father was a psychopath and his abuse has given me a very fragile self-esteem.

This is a perfect description of my last 9 years w my stbx husband. He would make me beg for him, the silent treatment was brutal, I would follow him around the house begging him to "come back to life". This was so demoralizing, I would apologize for things I wasn't sorry for or things I didn't do just to make it stop. Now I see after all this time is that he was painfully insecure & desperately needed validation. I finally woke up. I STOPPED ENGAGING. I gave him NOTHING. I filed for divorce & I'M LEAVING HIM. I took my power back!!! #freedom

Holy geez, hearing I am not responsible for the insecurity and that I don't have to play into narcissistic games and that I don't have to be in a relationship with the narcissist until they're in a healthy place to have a relationship with me is really powerful to hear as I was the target of a lot of physical and emotional abuse from two narcissists in my life

Thanks for sharing. I’ve also been discarded after being lovebombed. I suggest u always be as loving as u possibly can be. U can’t go wrong. Plus it’s best to NEVER think u are “the one” or that they are “the one” bcuz it leads to disaster. Let love develop naturally. Take your time. Be loving. ❤ The toxic peeps will reveal themselves. U will weed them out & find the good loving peeps.

Your honesty is beautiful- so few people are truly honest anymore

Thanks for this video. It seems spot on for what happened with my friend! My friend isn’t diagnosed with a personality disorder, but I’ve noticed some Cluster B traits. She might have BPD. I have C-PTSD but have gotten a lot of therapy. We got in an argument the other day, and it seemed sudden. I don’t know why she was suddenly upset, but I think she was worried about being excluded or abandoned. The timing was bad for me because I was in a vulnerable state (my purse had been stolen, but thankfully recovered). I was still rattled from this event and kind of irritable. My friend suddenly messaged me, and it sounded like she was trying to start an argument on purpose by pushing my buttons. I was surprised, hurt, and angry. I told her to please stop. She kept going, and I said to cut it out or I’d mute her messages. She kept going and I muted her. The next day when I was feeling calmer, I messaged her and tried to explain why I was extra reactive. I said to please respect my boundaries and not mention that one upsetting topic. She essentially said she didn’t respect me and started saying other hurtful things, and she said she’d rather not talk to me again than respect my boundary. I said goodbye and blocked her. I think she thought abandonment was inevitable, but it happened sudden because her behavior was hurtful. It’s unfortunate for both of us.

You're really helping me understand my step daughter who's been diagnosed with BPD. But I see a lot of narcissism too. She's always pushing us away then upset that we're not close. It's exhausting, but this helps.

I went through this type of discard. This went on for three years, three main argument come of it. I grew tired of the games I ditch her. Mind games, I can't deal with.

This sounds more like avoidant behaviour than narcissistic behaviour from someone who is afraid of being abandoned and alone themselves. At worst it's a manipulation tactic, at best it's a cry for reassurance and connection. You can only cry wolf so many times.

Perfect. He did all of it. When I told my family he just want me to beg him not to leave, they told me I am crazy.

I saw you saying bad stuff about your condition BUT I honestly deeply want to thank you for what you'rendoing. You saves me.

Great video! You balanced both sides of how each person would feel and how they could respond or not based on their situation and how much they wanted to invest in working on it.

This is crazy! It’s what happened to me. But instead of chasing her I just left. And it got worse.

I just want to take a moment to appreciate you for being so self-aware & sharing with us the inside story of what's really going on in a narc's head. Although you don't seem half as "narc-y" as the ones I dealt with, the NPD aspects that you talk about are exactly the same. Thank you for being so courageous.

Omg this makes so much sense for me! I recently was dating a narcissist (and I really think I have some major traces too) and he asked me if he was just a casual sex.. and I said yes, cause he was dating other people too.. and he totally discarded me the next time we hangout.. i said ok and he even asked if I wasn’t gonna cry 😂 Now I think he was looking for some drama and inflate his ego.. too bad he was dealing with a probably narcissist too 😅

Every other week felt like a fake discard with my narcissist 'friend'. Like after that needless bullshit we should probably be done for good, right? But nope. He'd show up again like clockwork acting like I needed forgiveness. Just zero self awareness. So weird.

I think you have a beautiful soul. And there is always hope. Don’t give up. You have helped a lot of people a lot.

I am going through all this with my husband right now. Every single thing. I have seen a few videos that are really informative but aren't quite close enough to make me think I am for sure dealing with a narcissist. But this video has made it undeniably clear. Completely and undeniably clear. Wow. I have to deal with this. Then I will have to deal with him. But at least I know what I'm dealing with now. Thank you.

Thank you. You connected some behavioral pattern dots for me in a way that was very straightforward & makes sense to me now. I appreciate that. Thanks again & best wishes to you moving forward. 🙂

Thank you so much for this and for your honesty and amazing vulnerability. I'm trying desperately to understand a significant other who ghosted me and I know wants to be loved, and I have all the love to give him, but he doesn't believe me and keeps up walls and blocks me a lot ...and I honestly have some of the same tendencies to a lesser degree (I think) which makes it more difficult, but I never thought I'd lose this person and now idk

Thank you for sharing this. Powerful insight!

I appreciate your transparency. In the past, I dealt with someone who acted the same. What I had a hard time understanding was that I definitely showed this person that I cared and they had my attention, yet it seemed as though they would intentionally push me away, then days/weeks later ask if I’d forgotten about them(because I don’t beg/chase). Why if they already had my attention, would I get the fake discard- with the intention to get my attention again? It doesn’t make sense to me that this was done in order for me to beg/chase them if they already had my attention, and I liked them. You mentioned it’s done for revenge, but how so, if I never did anything to warrant it? Begging/chasing is unattractive(to the majority). Which to me, will cause the discharge. Make it -make sense please.

thank you for putting a human face on narcissism. It helps me heal from my late fathers narcissism ways. I can imagine his struggles more which makes forgiveness possible.

How do you tell a narcissist that they need counseling for avoidant abandonment attachment without telling them they're narcissist? This is a serious question

Thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable & explaining this. When my ex would get angry & cut me off it triggered my own rejection issues so then the last thing I would do would be to reach out, let alone beg - a no win situation really, this has really helped my understanding. Little confused re what you said about boundaries tho as the minute I really started to expect more respect & put in & enforce boundaries was when she started to disengage & jumped straight in to a new connection. The whole thing was baffling & some of the behaviour downright petty & uncalled for. I applaud you for looking at your issues head on & speaking out. That takes guts, maturity & insight. Great material presented on your channel.

Fantastic explanation! So helpful to deconstruct this behavior and connect us all to deeper understanding and compassion.

I remember crying at times and still do since we have broken up. She told me horrible things that her ex was an abuser. Now she is going back to her abusive ex and I am the abuser. I provided her with a roof, car, groceries love all to be taken advantage of. I met her family loved them but everything around her was an issue.

this sounds about right with what happened to me. my ex narc got angry i waited two weeks to reach out after discard. i was blocked on everything but my number wasn’t blocked. she got mad and asked why i waited two weeks to reach out like she expected it. I was told to never contact her again so i blocked her number so i got a call from a ghost number and a pre written email from an account i wasn’t aware of because she thought i blocked her lol. wow! I went no contact going on two years now. i don’t try to run into her, i deleted social media so she can’t stalk me low key, and i don’t socialize with anyone she knows. I have moved on with my life and I don’t chase anyone. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Great post. Thanks for explaining it from the other side.

Narcissist usually respect boundaries in my experience me personally I've always had a problem putting boundaries out there because I feel like I shouldn't have to cuz most boundaries are pretty obvious but they're not obvious to narcissist.

I truly thank you for your candor. You help more people than you know, keep your head up.

I have been with a narc for 5 months he does these fake breakups all the time. Blocking me for days as soon as question him then coming back and idolising me again. I kinda new instinctively something was wrong but denied it as I fell completely in love with him and talked so him nearly 24 hours a day and every weekend. Recently he has stopped wanting to meet up at the weekend and has grown distant. Not wanting to spend as much time with me. My mum recently contacted him cause she was annoyed he was hiding me from family members. Saturday night he blocked me …. I haven’t heard from him since… Somehow I feel he’s actually completely discarded me and found someone else… As normally he would have rang back or unblocked me by now. The worst thing is if he has left like this I will never have any closure as he hasn’t officially broken up with me just blocked me like I don’t exist.

I don’t believe in “soul mates,” people fall somewhere on the scale of comparability and it’s up to us if we care enough to put the work into making it work. The trick is finding someone compatible who cares equally.

When my ex did that I would say oki doki I agree with you bye, he would leave it a few days then txt back that yes he thought it was for the best and all his pet names for me and he wished me the best 🙄of course I knew he would be in touch in the near future, I began to realise he didn't like me not putting a fight up to keep him around lol

Thank you for your video. I really appreciate your openness and honesty. Its extremely refreshing to see especially because my narc was also a pathological liar and never ever told the truth. So thank you for putting this out there

I think I had some texts like this where there is a "fake" discard. So, I agreed that we shouldn't see each other anymore, and I went no contact....but few weeks later the hoover came back.

You have my respect, Mate. I dont like what you die, but I respect you and that is the best I can give. Everybody WHO excepts his failure shall have the chance to turn it all around. Furthermore it needs a lot of courage to go public as a narcissist.

He stopped saying he loved me when I said the same and acted disgusted by me but still wanted me to stay, get a job without support (I am disabled), and sleep in his bed. I told him I would but only if he went to one doctor about his own symptoms. He declined.

When they've looked so down upon you and you somehow succeed in overcoming the things that they thought you'd never get through, and especially because they know that they wouldn't survive it either makes them feel much too inferior.

He threw a temper tantrum when I didn’t give in to his extreme overt flat-out demand to control me, then overreacted to something I said and said “I’m never going to call you again.” Setting it up so that what I would have to call him all the time. I REFUSE to give into such blatant attempts to have power and control over me. He can get over his ego and some throwing tantrums like a two year old. My parents never succumbed to their kids throwing tantrums and neither will I. Plus you’re a grow adult!

I think your awesome. Very proud of you and I love your humbleness. It's a beautiful thing.

Thank you for providing your own feedback. I have watched this and your other videos and it has been a great help to understanding how a mind of narcissist works. The break up with my ex was the most confusing thing. He was the one who broke up but he didn't cut contact. I had to be the one to cut contact and ending it for real. If it was a fake discard as you call it would make a lot of sense because he also sent angry texts during that process. It felt like he was breaking up and yet trying to regain the control. I left the door open for him to be the one to reach out, I wish him the best and hoped he would fix his issues for his own good. I tried to never make about myself but him. I hope someday my words will resonate with him and he will work on himself and self reflect. Just like you are doing. When comparing this video with your older ones I feel you are more at ease even if there is some work still to do but I sure see an improvement. Great work👍

I feel so called out. I don't know if I'm this diagnosis but Ive done this fake discard thing in all my relationships. My husband is the only man to return the attention and on the rare moments he doesn't I'm screaming out can you just hug me😂 He says our love is like the Note book movie. Everyday he starts again to help me remember our connection because every morning I wake up feeling lost and disconnected. I prefer to view my mental illness through the lens of attachment styles. It's much more compassionate language.

Thank you so much for this, my boyfriend is a narcissist and now I'm understanding his behaviour so much better. Even though I've watched numerous videos about narcissism, your one explains it perfectly. His ass is gone soon, so much toxic behaviour, I'm done. Thank you ❤

I like to see your eyes. I know it is perhaps uncomfortable. But the message gets relayed so much better when I see a person's eyes 💖

They've told me that I make them feel stupid. Unfortunately if the shoe fits, wear it.

Excellent video! Thank you. Even with all the BS and havoc narcs cause; this humanizes them to me.

I remember asking “why do you hate me? What have I done but treat you right and do everything for you” to my narc ex. So yes, we think you hate us cause you invalidate us and treat us so bad.

He said he would keep pushing me away until I left him and then he would tell everyone it was all my fault. So they don't always lie because that's exactly what he did.

they need a strict, but loving parent-partner

Very useful. Gave clarity to a situation I was in. More videos like these describing common games/dysfunctional reactions of narcissists please.

I heard that the vulnerability that Narcissists try to avoid comes from an embarrassment they experienced during childhood that they had to face alone. Not sure if there’s any proof on that.

Mine treated me like a princess.. married me...nine months... he met a gal at a reunion..all of a sudden he was sleeping downstairs because he needed to be next to the bathroom...i kept hearing pings at two in the morning...he sic'd his son on me and caused all sorts of drama...i was stunned...but im also the kind of person you dont push...i packed up and left...he started divorce process the next week...week after that had the gal over for Thanksgiving...by January shed gone back to the old boyfriend and he was alone...he knows ill never speak to him again ... luckily hes eight hours away so ill never have to see or speak to him again...thank God i caught on as soon as I did

As a narcissist are you TRULY unable to ask for reassurance? Or do you just not like discomfort so you avoid it? If so, isn’t the reward of not being abandoned/breakup worth the discomfort of vulnerability?

Thank you, very helpful.

Thank you for explaining a friend so well!!.. She ran the gamut of these qualities, which I was very sympathetic about b/c I strongly sensed her insecurity. (We all have weaknesses!) I was REALLY her friend, through it all, and we had fun times (but, I did not realize that boosting her after her crazy affairs & break-ups was just perpetuating this behavior!).. Then, as I began to subtly assert more pushback on her attn.-seeking, one-sided favor requests, & various maneuvers, she vanished!.. From best buddies to nada!.. But, it was sad b/c I was still her sympathetic & forgiving friend. Now I have a better understanding. Thanks!!- p.s. She was so much like N.N.- very talkative, intelligent, charismatic, & attractive with big blue eyes that often looked a bit sad. Take care!-

Honestly… that sounds a lot like someone with BPD and how they would respond to a break up. They break up first because they fear the abandonment from the other person.

This video clarified something which happened to me. Thank you.

The funniest is my recent DM from him saying "I am still talking to you for your own sake for your closure." Umm...ok...that brings a lot of closure knowing that 😂

When YOU are going to be abandon…. It’s funny the “self fulfilling prophecy” The Narc will distance, pull away, ignore, passive aggressive temper tantrum, as black and white thinking; THEY ARE GOING TO LEAVE ME so I’ll treat them like crap, thinking if I treat them badly instead of just saying…”hey I just need to hear you and feel you love me to feel safe.” I’ll treat you like you’re leaving me…. And I’ll push you away, and ignore any advances, and make you feel like I hate you and don’t want you… so chase me so I can keep ignoring you and make you feel like I hate you more… but yeah.. I WANT YOU IS WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO HEAR??? WHAT!?!?! Is this game not much much more work than the 10 seconds of vulnerability of saying: “hey, I need reassurance and don’t know how to ask so just know I need to know you love me.”

Many people back in the time St. Francis thought he was going insane. But he was just letting go of all the erroneous philosophical narratives that were common during his era of 1181-1226. Many in that time period tried to make it as if St. Francis was crazy. But St. Francis just kept INCREASING in awesomeness in proportion to how much they ignored & insulted him. I am reminded of Collective Soul's "Where the River Flows." The joke was on St. Francis' critics.

This a an honest and extremely true record of a narcissistic reaction if they feel, often without cause, a threat of abandonment. Thank you for sharing this. I think you’re doing a great job and helping a lot of people that are living with narcissism in their lives! 👍

This just happened with a “friend” and I. They were shocked whe I agreed we shouldn't be friends then said some of the most fucked up things to me.

Wow. I watched this video last week wondering if this could be a fake discard. We have been on & off for a few years and the last few months have been the worse. I think we both have signs of BPD & NPD and our relationship has always been tumultuous. He basically threw a temper tantrum last week because I’ve been grey-rocking him. Saying he’s upset with himself because he’s always at odds as to whether he should be with me or not and that he was “weighing his options”. All this was enough for me- I’m nobody’s option and grew tired of him treating me like one. Grew tired of him treating me like the bad guy when I’ve shown him nothing but love. At first I tried to console him but when that didn’t work I told him I would leave him alone so he can properly heal. Now that I know our traumas, I’m sure he saw this as me abandoning and immediately he started lashing out. saying he doesn’t believe anything I say and that I enjoy bringing him pain. That was enough for me. As soon as I told him he needs to take accountability for his own feelings and his own healing, he started projecting & blame shifting, saying that he’s all these ways BECAUSE of ME. I flipped, started reminding him of all the things he’s done to me without me having done anything to him (like fucking my friend to be spiteful) and of course, as soon as the pressure was put back on him, he blocked me. Not before him experiencing “mortification” and threatening to kill himself for about the 10th time in our relationship….I made multiple numbers as I always do, trying to basically give my side even though I know he has no empathy in his body. I even sent him an email and messaged his new supply that he’d been lying to me about. I was so pissed. (I know it’s not right and this is why I said I think we both show signs of npd/borderline) But, in his sick twisted way I know he loved the attention he was getting. He called me on the phone and his tone of voice sounded elated that he was even talking to me. For someone that just threatening suicide, he couldn’t even fake being distraught. I went a week with no contact but noticed he was still watching my stories from a fake page that I know is his. Right on the seventh day he texts me that he misses me, hopes to see me soon and hopes I’m “okay”. No apology or anything of course. Completely disregarding the lengthy, feverent email or the message I sent to his side piece. I knew this was just a control play trying to see if I still had him blocked or if I was still mad. I told him I don’t want to see him. He then asks me about a man I don’t even know. I basically told him it’s none of his business and I never want to be with him again. I’m done with the drama and it’s so interesting to see that you were right in his behavior was in fact a fake discard and he was throwing a tantrum just because he wanted me to baby him and tell him I still love him. Not this time. I’m done with the bpd/npd dance. It was fun, passionate, and crazy whilst it lasted.

My ex went silent but he never blocked me 😒 I just stopped messaging and moved on 🤷🏾‍♀️

I get the silent treatment. I ask “why aren’t you talking to me?” The answer is always because I’m this or because I’m that. Then I don’t hear from him again unless I text again. I’m tired of feeling I’m not important and anyone else is. Right now I feel stupid for letting myself get into this type situation.

This is so helpful. I had a narcissist ghost me not wanting a relationship which I honestly was like OK and moved on. He came back 3 weeks later love bombing me again but saying he wanted to be friends with benefits. He has treated me so much better since then. Is that weird? He is a straight up narcissist but his treatment with me is better as friends with benefits than relationship? Why is that?

It’s extremely rare for a narcissist to admit they are a narcissist. You are a rare breed. Do you have any advice on how to get a narcissist to realize what they are without starting a huge fight?

Great analysis, best ive seen on youtube. THANKS!!!