The funny transitions one works in so many cases and even for neurotypical kids. At the summer camp I worked at this past summer we had a hill that you weren’t allowed to run on (cause safety) and going from the fire circle to lunch this one kid made some comment about “I only have one speed, running” so I told him to slow-mo run to wash his hands. I meant for him to walk at a normal speed as that’s slow-mo running, this kid slow-mo “ran” (moving his arms and taking big steps like he was running) all the way to the sink and inside for lunch 😂
I like your comment a lot. Slow-mo running 😆 Just the "even for neurotypical kids" part makes me a bit sad. I'm neurotypical and I would have loved to be raised like this. I think many neurotypical kids would love this!
@@danika9411 So many things that are particularly helpful to a specific demographic, whether that’s visually impaired people, wheelchair users or autistic people, or any other disabled demographic you can think of, ends up proving helpful to far more people than anticipated. It’s often called the kerb cut effect.
@@danika9411 fair. Main reason I specified was because this video is about ways to support neurodivergent kids, so I wanted to point out it was useful for neurotypical kids as well
I'm an autistic adult and I would love that and be way more efficient at doing things. If people convinced me to do them in that way. Also, that's how I get myself to do things when I don't want to do them.
I love how even your "don't" examples are, by most accounts, pretty reasonable and acceptable ways to respond to kids! I think it's so important to show how even an approach that is acceptable can be made better. So important, thank you 💖
Literally just raise all kids like this please! This would have helped me so much growing up, instead of having my parents yell at me and threaten me from a young age
So much of her content that's for foster kids who have experienced trauma is like... no just raise ALL kids this way, with gentle but firm voices, clear rules, not scolding literal children for wetting the bed but just being like "oh you're wet, let's get you into some dry clothes". Even neurotypical kids need clear instructions for cleaning up the room or that "hey let's decompress and talk instead of hitting" thing.
Also in front of other people. Some kids feel more embarrassed about behaviors they can't control. Plus sideline parenting is real and disorienting for everyone!
Man, sometimes I would get so overstimulated and wouldn't have any idea what my problem was or how to articulate that, frankly even as an adult that's an issue, and sometimes my mom's only idea was to mock my crying. Like, I love my mom, but you can't really get over your parent literally making fun of you for being upset.
@@FrenkTheJoy yep, it really sucks. Especially when they carry those "funny stories" into adulthood. Like do they not realize they are saying they think their child crying in distress is funny? Or do they just not care?
For the longest time I struggled when someone entirely well-meaning would ask me a bunch of open-ended questions while I was mid-meltdown. I finally made a Google doc on my phone to show someone if they're trying to help me. I haven't had to bust it out yet but I've got it ready!
I have loved your videos for a long time but as a neurodivergent mom and neurodivergent and disability advocate I just wanted to say a wholehearted THANK YOU and yes! You got this so right and it matters so much. Thank you for sharing this with your followers
I think the hardest thing w adhd is the child doesn’t know they are doing wrong. I never knew if I was doing right or wrong. I was just yelled at and punished all the time!
As a system I totally understand this I tried to voice "I don't remember" sooo many times but everyone got mad at me for that so I tried lying to make them stop and then they got mad at me for lying. I'm sorry we took a 30 minute shower 🙄 but, when one of our trauma holders is fronting yelling at us is going to trigger us to flip out at you. Idk what else you want?
WOW, these are all things that would benefit me as a neurodivergent ADULT survivor of childhood trauma! and would have bene far less traumatic or triggering as a kid!!! @Laura Would you recommend using these for kids with any specific type of neurodivergence? e.g., Are some of the tips better for kids with ADHD but not autism, trauma, etc.?
I've used most of these tips as a teacher working with all sorts of kids in daycare and schools. Neurotypical kids usually have an easier time with flexibility and change but all kids can benefit and the younger they are the more they will benefit.
Yes, thank you!!! As a neurodivergent individual, my parents weren’t educated in neurodivergence, so I pretty much got all the wrongs and it was really hard. I acted out a ton at home b/c of it, and it was hard on everyone
Also ty to keep in mind that when a kid is telling you they don’t know what to do, maybe try giving more details. I remember asking adults “What can I do to help” and they’d just tell me “Whatever you see needs to be done.” It made me so frustrated as a kid and I’d have full on autistic meltdowns/maybe panic attacks over it.
YES! I had SO much trouble in school do to being neurodivergent because I couldn't comprehend what was going on. I always had to do practically everything at home with my dad where we knew what ways I learned. Everyone learns differently, so it's important to find out what works best for you.
Any other autistics watching this and thinking about how much it would have helped? You're seriously an angel for the work you do and the information you share.
bruh in kindergarten i was always talking and i was a "bad" kid and i would have outbursts constantly of talk and jsut not sitting in my seat, i couldnt learn properly either (though that was from lead poisoning but also probably neurodivergency) and then a teacher did some of these things and suddenly i was a golden child WTH
Thank you for making these videos. I am 24, I am autistic with cPTSD. I wish my family could be like this to me when I was a kid. I watch this and pretend that I am little again to feel comfort.
So do I at age 62. I was yelled at and hit, spanked…by a mentally ill mother. Dad was OK but not home a lot except weekends. These videos have helped me with my Grandchildren! I have a lot more hope for the future
@@lorinelsen-allen1379 That’s awesome, even as adults we still have an inner child that needs to be nurtured and loved. And you’re helping to break the cycle of violence with your grandkids and that’s so important. 🫶
Thank you. It's so kind that you share this. My heart feels warm. ♥️ I have been a traumatized kid and that would have helped me a lot. I managed to get me in adult age. Now i "foster parent" the parts of me that went ferral, hidden and or numb on my way through all these intense experiences. For those parts these informations, integrated in a loving self care, are more nourishing then Therapie alone. Great work. 🙏🥰
You are very super. I could have done with you in 1963. These days things are explained better. Then we just got hit for existing. Thank you for what you do.
The complex tasks thing is real, when people give me generic tasks I freeze and can't do it, there's not enough information for me to proceed and I don't know what's "right" and "wrong" for the task
I got left in my room and told to clean it so I took all the books off the shelf and started sorting them by color and size… that did not go over well. People forget that all kids may literally have never done a task before and have limits to what they can guess by osmosis.
often times, neurodivergency comes with anxiety, make sure you speak gently and let them know they're not in trouble when they mess up, we have trouble understanding tone :D avoid eye contact with autistic individuals, match energy with kids with adhd!!
As a ND/traumatized adult, I can confirm that these things work even as an adult. Schedules, resets, different techniques to learn or get things done (keeping things interesting). Perfect advice
I love love love this!!! I'm 32 now and wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 19. My mom tried her best and she's always been my best advocate but she did get a few things wrong with how my brain worked. My older sister has kids who "take after me" a bit and I definitely think she's doing a better job, although she has the benefit of having a name for why her kids are different.
My girlfriend is a child therapist and the extra help some kids may need is very important for their growth/health. Being careful of their boundaries and their actions is a very helpful way to work with them :) {💖}
Another thing is TEXTURES remember that textures may not bother you, but for autistic child it may feel like life or death. Try to be patient and understanding
When I taught at daycare, I never thought to do the recess thing, but I didn't like the stigma of 'timeout' either, as the other teachers tended to make them sit separately from the group with their heads down. I would just have the kid sit with me for a 'cool down' and help me with whatever I was doing or bave them draw/color a picture. After about 5 minutes I would ask them to tell me what happened, how it made them feel, and how they thought they could have behaved more productively. If there were 2 kids involved I did the whole thing both of them and encouraged them to talk to each other about it too. All the other things were just routine to me, lol! I often included the kids in what we would do for the curriculum, what learning centers they wanted to do, and made sure to rotate helpers that wanted to help me craff things or read for story time.
So funny that I'm neurodivergent and the planet thing went in one ear and out the other, even as a 27 year old I would have had to ask you to repeat what you wanted me to do lol
I had by all means great parents, but I STILL remember a time my dad told me to finish cleaning my room and I started sobbing because I thought it was clean and I didn't know how to finish it. I don't know for sure if I'm neurodivergent, but I still find making lists of specific tasks and what order helps me a lot when starting a task, and I wish this skill had been taught to me younger
As a neurodivergent person myself, if I couldn’t have children, I’d love to adopt/foster. I would love to have a child who can breathe, knowing their ‘mummy’ is just like them and that they don’t need to worry
@@garden_creature uh.. yeah? I'm saying that adoption is not only for people that can't have biological children. It shouldn't only be seen as a 'last resort' or back up plan. And people that already have biological children (or could have) should also consider adopting if they want another child.
THANK YOU! 😤 You canNOT see a potato and expect it to taste like a tomato, then get mad when it doesn’t. Stop expecting neurodivergent children to respond like neurotypical children. YOU have to adjust your expectations and behavior. Different does not always mean bad.
When it comes to needing to clean up, or transition a task in general, give warnings! Instead of "it's time to clean up now" say "Okay. In fifteen minutes we're going to start picking up."
PLEASE don't give the kid another task until they've finished putting all the blocks in the bin. Don't even point to blocks they missed until their hands are empty.
Wait, the stop, go outside and have a quick reset thing, that's a technique? My parents used to do this, sort of. I want to know how it's supposed to be done properly, any info?
Yes, it's a type of redirection. It's distracting the kids from whatever they're doing that they shouldn't be and getting them playing outside and letting out some pent-up energy.
Neurodivegency refers to lifelong conditions affecting the wiring of the brain, compared to disorders that fluctuate and can develop at any point. Neurodivegency is not an illness like depression or anxiety, and therefore cannot be cured like these disorders (in theory) can. Obviously many ND people also experience mental health issues, but they are not one and the same. Some websites seem to conflate the two, but the TLDR of the matter is you are *born* Neurodivegent, you *develop* mental disorders.
