Foster parent supporting sick children 

Yeah same. It really did hit different.

Same 🥺

Same, it hit really, really hard for me personally

Same!

I'm definitely crying

this is definitely smthg i need to work on. i’ve been told i come off as condescending when i’m trying my hardest to appear kind. so it’s nice to hear an example

this! so important.

@@getjinxxxed my mom is like that. she means well, she really does, + she’s so sincere but the harder she tries the more insincere//condescending she sounds. i have to remind her to just be herself + not do “the voice.”

Oh yeah that voice terrified me as a kid because a lot of abusers use that type of fake happy voice (Obviously NOT EVERYONE who uses that voice is like that, in fact abusers are trying to copy kind people who have that voice is more what I'm saying).

Jinx -such a humble comment. Thank you for sharing.

I can't imagine it... I believe you! But I just can't picture getting in trouble for basic human things that are no one's fault.

Same but my mother. I didn't even know I needed comfort for this. I hope you're doing well now

Wow, I thought I was the only one that had that happened to me every time I was sick...I'm sorry you experienced that

Yeah, my mom would beat me for getting sick. Watching these as an adult is pretty eye-opening tbh

Oh honey. I wish I could hug you

Not gonna lie, I thought that name was "Doc Studmuffins"

Doc McStuffins was my comfort show for while.

for me it was my parents playing animal doctor with me just like this video, also kids books specific to the illness i have (hydrocephalus). Benny Bear books were my childhood i love them sm

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

my mom always sent me to school sick (flu, bronchitis, cold all sorts) and never once believed me or cared that i was sick until i was sent home from school. then at the doctors- and even then all she cared about was the money it was going to cost her and how it was such a burden to have to take care of me or find someone to take care of me

As a mom who was severely abused and neglected in my own childhood i make sure to give my daughter all the love and comfort she needs and more. A few months ago she was hospitalized once for 2 days and rhan again for 3 days and the whole time i stayed there with her. I would only leave her room if my husband or mil were there watching her. I never want my child to feel unwanted or unloved. Shes 2 now but i would still do this for her no matter what age. I've been to the hospital way too many times to leave her alone.

I had a very similar incounter recently sitting in the ER, to make it worse she was mad that a kid who came in after her got taken back first

@@mx_potatohead1326 those parents are the worst. I was waiting in an ER waiting room once (though I was the patient) and watched a parent absolutely lose it after watching a kid be taken back immediately after she was told it would be a few hours before her kid could be seen. Her kid most likely had a sprained wrist (talking quietly was not a skill she had, I think the entire waiting room could hear her), the kid who got taken back immediately was puking and extremely flushed. I will never understand the adults who refuse to understand that ERs aren't first come first serve.

​@@waffles3629 ill give her this, ERs aren't first-come but many dont actually base who goes in on whos "worse off" in my experience (excluding genuine urgent issues like you said typically). its almost random here i swear. my experience was 1 out of thousands but it was rancid. i told them i had been uncontrollably bleeding from my thigh and had been for going on 12hrs, and was made to wait nearly 4hrs more. they only cared once they realized their thin bandages and towels couldnt hold it back. (age roughly 16?) that mom was in the wrong, but we really do need to look at our ERs a bit more critically

you sound like an amazing aunt

You are all the difference in the world for that kid...you changed his life for the better. An angel on earth. That's you!!!

😭😭💜

You are a wonderful auntie ❤. Your nephew is lucky to have you. Your boss is a dick

this would have been me. threw up and my parents beat me for it. life can be messed up when you are living with those kind of parents 😢

Heartbreaking to think of anyone in that state, but a child so young? I'm so glad he had you guys to help him.

❤️‍🩹

My mom really thought that all being a parent required is not letting the child d!e

Same here.. Sending you lots of hugs🖤🦇

I am so sorry your birth parents did not love you the way they should have. You deserved love, kindness, empathy, compassion and so much more. When the very people who should be our protectors are not only our protectors but also our abusers this is just about the worst thing someone could do to a child. I experienced both from my parents, which can also leave children extremely mixed up. One day Mommy is kind, funny and loving, the next day she is someone from a horror movie. I hope that you have found others who do love you and are kind and love you for who you are. We all deserve to be treated with love and kindness, all of us. Sending you gentle hugs, or a great big ole bear hug...you take whichever feels best ❤️

Big same I'm still trying to get out of the crap situation with my birth parents I think one of the only things giving me an ounce of hope about it is my partner

Same I literally just got away from my mother and step father who were very mentally, emotional, and financially abusive. I can't afford to live on my own yet, but luckily I finally met my bio dad a few years ago and he was willing to take me in. Live with him and my step mom is so much better.

I am so sad that you thought you were a burden being adopted! They wanted you and went through soooo much crap to adopt you!!!!! You are loved by me also!

So many of us are hurting out there. Bless you.

I plan to adopt when I’m good and ready

Same!! My bio sister is in foster care and it’s been really bad bc we haven’t been able to be in contact for a while:( sometimes I think that my family wishes that they never adopted me too especially when they are mad at me

​@@lonelybookworm2895 Hoping I'm not crossing any lines - in my experience it takes time (years) to not feel like a burden, especially when a loved one is annoyed/angry... But it does get better with consistent gentleness and unconditional love - slowly the feeling subsides and is replaced. :)

And then that child has to go back to the inhuman monsters who did that to them in the first place. I HATE our system!

So true! I was sent to school regardless of how I felt without medication! The school nurse had to tell me how to handle my period pain and change my bandages after my car accident. When I was hit by a car, I was chastised for being hit! Like what parent does that to a kid? Talk about being cruel. Yet, kids are told they are to be compassionate! How are they to learn that when everyone around them treats them with scorn!

Also, even when bio parents aren’t abusive , a child getting sick is a huge strain on a family with not enough money, food, access to healthcare, or flexibility at work A kid with a perfectly loving birth mom has often still learned “when I can’t go to school, mommy gets fired” or “when I can’t go to school, we have to spend eight hours in the ER [because there’s no insurance and ability to make appointments]”

​@@spinycreatureYou hit the nail on the head. I was born with a chronic illness & saw my mother loose jobs & give up on her dreams because I was sick so often. I'm now 42 & she passed in 2006, but I'll never be able to escape feeling like a burden.

@@spinycreature it is so sad to read this example as a German living in Germany. In Germany, where you can go anytime to a doctor and pay nothing due to universal health care, where you can be sick (fully paid min 6 weeks after that a high part of the last income)as long as the doctor prescribes it, where parents have special children sickdays(30days per parent a year(soloparents the double amount)) if the underaged children is sick the parent can stay fully paid at home and the people have mandatory 24 days of vacation, so many stated facts aren’t a problem in Germany, it is so sad that they are a problem in the USA.

My heart goes out to you ❤

It drives me crazy to hear the painful stories from former foster youth. I am sure that I make mistakes as a new-ish foster parent but I work hard to not further traumatize the children beyond the already terrible experience of being removed from family. The system is bad enough without crappy, foster parents who prioritize their own experiences, emotions and needs over the kids'.

I am so sorry you experienced crummy foster care!!!!!

@Kathleen my worst memory was a foster family that effectively used me as slavery. I was 12 at the time. They got me and my 10 yr old sister. They had a 10 yr old daughter. My sister was made to be her playmate. To go everywhere with her. To join her for little parties. I was made to clean and cook. Like constantly. If I wasn't at school, I was cleaning and cooking for the whole house. When I tried to do homework I was locked outside, in the rain. I wasn't given food for lunches or breakfast. And my dinner was left overs from the day before. I wasn't allowed to eat with everyone else, or to be in the play room with the other kids. I was removed from my home for neglect, but honestly faced much worse neglect in that home. I am sure you are better than that. And I thank you for what you do.

@@faeoori Oh, Dearest, I feel you. You're not alone! I'm a survivor like you. What so troubling is that this is still going on! Praying for your well-being!

Yesss absolutely necessary!!

Same. She gives me hope for those kids.

Me too

Oh my goodness.

What a rough hand to be dealt, I had UTI's and bladder infections in my childhood a fair bit, but I'm lucky enough to not even be able to fathom what feeling that sick would be like, especially when you don't have a trusted adult to go to who you know will help you get better. Kidneys, bloody ouch.

Ooof, I was hospitalized with a kidney infection when I was 7 and even with supportive and attentive parents it was a miserable experience. I'm sorry you didn't get that care 🧡

If you want to help foster kids but aren't ready to become a foster parents, look into volunteering opportunities with kids in your community. A lot of foster kids are in a lot of programs that are looking for volunteers.

Love this! It shows that her tips and ways of approaching situations can be adapted to fit all sorts of things.

You too? Lol

I’m accidentally reparenting myself at 38. Mostly through witnessing the way my partner parents his kids but also through CPTSD content. It’s incredible how the smallest thing can have such a huge impact, negative or positive. Big hugs all around!

Oh my gosh yes, so healing while also giving us the words to use with our kids. Laura is an absolute angel and I’m so glad we all found her here on you tube

❤

I feel the same. I'm sure we will never end up fostering, but I love these videos....

Not weird, just the same way I feel about how she is with kids through her videos

Okay, so frequent accidents in potty trained children are pretty common with trauma, it will happen more after visits and triggers, so handle it gently, don't punish them, help them (depending on here age) clean themselves, and obviously clean up whatever mess, reassure them that you know it was an accident, and your not mad, but that we have to clean it up for xyz (if it a them, because it will get itchy) try not to say cuase it's gross, or dirty, as that could leave them with more shame!

@@macydiy9697 also, kids who’ve been sexually abused could be physically injured down there, making them incontinent.

@@graceg3250 that's true to! And either way you should bring it up to there dr!

@@macydiy9697 Oh boy those after visit meltdowns, wetting the bed and night terrors were heartbreaking! The day before they were already stressing and afterwards was revisiting their trauma. It’s so hard to send them to these visits knowing how it affects them. As a foster parent I didn’t stress on those days if homework wasn’t done, made favorite meals and perhaps and extra few cuddles if they were needing (and ready) for them. Be calm, patient and kind.

@@lollylolly8186 yep! It's heartbreaking every time! But we have no chose but to do it, and be as patient with them as physically possible!! It's so hard watching the little ones that have zero clue what is happening go through night terrors and stuff like that!!

I'm in the USA new Jersey and we used to go on class trips to a program just like this at a local hospital... It was cute

I used to be a „single“ mom for a while when our first kid was little, as my husband was working abroad. Unfortunately, the kid was sick very, very often, and it was hardly ever „a little sick“ - I felt so helpless. And sometimes I‘d get outright mad. Not at the kid, it was not their fault after all. But mad. Desperate. Did not help that I never directed my anger or desperation at them - they noticed anyway. 😢 And felt like a burden, even if I never thought they were. (And yes, we had professional help eventually. Husband got another job as well. Some medical conditions were discovered and abolished, so the kid got better and stuff). That said, with me being incredibly sorry for not handling things better, I just want to point out that it is not always easy for the parents, either, to remain calm and handle things as they should. Even „simple“ ‚ inoffensive reactions like bursting into tears for not knowing what to do (not even overly dramatic) might very well result in the kids‘ feeling guilty „for being such trouble and making mommy cry“ (as was the case with us). And I swear I never did say anything like that. They felt like that anyway. 😢 Sometimes it just is not easy to do the right thing. I keep on watching these videos, btw, because I think they are helpful for bio parents, too.

Same... 😅

so now I had to go back and look at the shirt. cool! lol!