Foster parent showing foster child they are a safe place for LGBTQ+ youth 

" you can shop any section" Goes to electronics

A tip: If you mess up pronouns. Say a simple "Excuse me, (corrected pronoun/name) and immediately move on. As a trans person its so much easier when it's treated as a simple slip up than a huge ordeal. It also makes us feel safer and more welcome.

The 'you can shop in any section' is really important as well. Because whether or not the child is LGBTQ+ or not being able to wear clothing that makes them feel comfortable is so important.

Love that you said shop in their preferred section. As a trans girl who was a foster kid a lot of the time people forced me to shop in the guys section. So it felt nice to have someone who not only understood that we may want to shop in the section of our current gender but sometimes also our past gender

My child is nonbinary binders are something you will want to gently remind them are only supposed to be on for 8 hours at a time you will need to take it off to let your body breathe

For these kids, seeing someone making an effort to make them feel seen and accepted is enough. Mistakes happen but as long as they know you're a safe person and accepting of them and their identity, that's what truly matters.

Literally just walked in my sisters room to see one of our families’ dogs and she called me gay (which I am, but she is homophobic so it’s different) and came back to see this. feel like crying right now because this is amazing (and if any of you are wonder my entire family, cousins included, is homophobic and transphobic, etc… videos like these make me feel like I’m not totally useless and can maybe help another kid one day by fostering or adopting (not sure if I’d be able or want to adopt, but I want to help no matter how I do it)

Does anyone else watch these videos so they can one day be a good parent? I feel like picking up her vibe and knowing how she'd react to certain situations is very helpful. My husband and I want to adopt when we're older and really want to break the cycle because neither of us grew up so well :)

You may do this already, but remember to tell these kids who you are telling!! If Jane smith tells you they wanna cut their hair short and go by John smith, follow that up by stating who you have to tell and ask who else they want you to tell. They should know who knows, especially if their birth family gets to know any of it. So glad you are so supportive of these kids tho!!!!

We’re not foster parents and my kids tell me they are straight but we have a pride flag outside our house so that anyone who comes over knows this is a safe space. 😊 inclusivity matters

Thank you so much for allowing clothes shopping in every section. I’m not a foster kid but have started having to go to the store alone to not face judgement from my parents about shopping in the men’s section. You’re doing good work.

I'm not a foster kid, but have been close to being one many times in the past. and im transgender. seeing people being supportive of our community and making people feel welcome is heart warming. thank you.

Thank you for being a supportive foster parent. I think the having pride items and showing community connections is great. It lets them know they're safe without making them feel pressured to out themselves if they aren't already

Another really important point is to immediately stand up for them if you see any homophobic or transphobic attacks towards them, whether it’s from your family, from a past foster family, from their birth family, from social workers, from therapists, from school, from friends, etc, etc, etc. This really cements the idea for them that they are safe and that you are here to protect them and that your love and support isn’t conditional or wavering

How does your calm sensible voice and completely ordinary text with practical advice always always have me 😭 😭?

I volunteer at a camp for kids and we had a NB teenager at one camp, we were told they were gender fluid and could experience different pronouns on different days. The adult volunteers are split into two, and my other co-volunteer was very new to the whole thing and asked me for advice. He wanted to ask the kid directly his pronouns, which is one option, but I decided to just tell the kid our pronouns and leave it open for them to express what they were feeling on the day. Eventually as camp when on the teen opened up to us and explained his gender fluidity in more details and gave us all a stronger understanding.

So as a trans nonbinary person this is so sweet! I definitely would recommend to make sure the foster child has a say in who knows! Coming out can be really difficult for anyone and so maybe ask who they want to know, if they want to come out more publicly, and if they'd like to do some research into different options for future care (depending on age) or if they just came out ask if they want to try out different pronouns or names as they discover who they are! Trans people may not stick to a name or pronouns or a label forever and its so important they feel like they have no pressure to stick to whatever they decide in the moment! Please keep being the loving caring foster mom you are!

she is doing so good things taking in an lgbtq+ child who may have bad trauma and taking care of them so proud

“shop any section” made me cry ❤

This stuff is so essential! Even as a lesbian adult I still find myself glancing around a new house or businesses like coffee shops for any sign of queer-positive decoration and it can genuinely make me feel way better when I see one. Queer people usually end up learning a lot of ways to very subtly and carefully probe for someone new's feelings on the subject and getting an early confirmation can be so, so helpful.

For displaying pride items, I always recommend choosing some specific communities that are important to you (ie. lesbian, trans, ace, or nonbinary) and displaying those specific flags. This may show an LGTBQ+ kid that you have a bit more knowledge and are a legitimate ally. Love this video! 🌈🩵🩷🤍

Im a trans and queer teen and this made me tear up i want to be a foster parent in the future and i am so glad that you made a video about how to show support all your videos are great and are one of my biggest inspirations

Just knowing we aren't hated by everyone gives me so much hope

As a nonbinary person who wants to foster someday, this video made me so happy! Your videos are really educational and important, thank you.

This is actually amazing We have a group home in my town with very strict religious ideals Most of the girls that go there are alternative or LGBTQ+ and it’s really hard seeing them go through that, their only outlet is at school and they feel like they can’t tell their foster parents anything

You are such a generous and loving person. Thank you for doing what you do.

A great help to trans kids is being very clear about your intentions. "I'm learning how to be an ally and may mess up, but I support you and appreciate your help in showing me how best to do that." I always tell people it's not about perfection but effort. Knowing that you can talk to your guardian about your needs safely and openly. 9/10 us transfolk understand it's an adjustment, transkids just need to know it's not a bother.

Not me crying because my inner child feels so validated and seen, if this helps me as a 31 year old man, you can't even imagine how helpful it is for the struggling youth, thank you for all the good you do.

Amazing as a quest teenager this made my day!

THANK YOU! If one of my foster parents had treated me like this it would have made a world of diffrence

Even if they aren’t part of the community it’s still a great idea to tell the kid [or kids] they can shop any clothing section and have whatever haircut [within reason obviously]

I’m not a foster parent myself, but you are still giving a great example to other foster parents. For the kids, and for themselves too! One of the members in my school’s GSA is aroace, but she can’t tell her foster parents because they are religious. It’s just so sad to see sometimes. Thank you for doing this! ❤

I didnt see a lot of people talking about young lesbians or gay boys so throwing in my 2 cents. I would ensure that if you have a gender non-conforming child to not push anything on them or make a big deal about the things they're interested in (don't unnecessarily gender things either like girl toys or boy toys etc), besides being open and supportive. Being a young lesbian girl or gay boy who doesn't like stereotypical things can be really isolating and results in kids feeling they're "wrong" or "broken". I'd reassure girls that want to get short hair or wear shorts and t-shirts with idk Optimus prime on that it doesn't make her weird or a "failure of a girl" and same if a boy wants to wear an mlp shirt for example, he's not less of a boy for it. Kids internalize a lot of messages and stereotypes from society, on top of potentially being abused for being gay +/- being gender non conforming, it can be really scary to trust anyone with your orientation. (As an aside as well, I'd be vigilant for other signs of CSA if a young girl has suddenly cut off/shaved off all her hair and is trying to hide her body in baggy clothes. Sometimes, the reaction to this trauma is to hide your body or make yourself "unattractive" in an attempt to ward off sexual abuse. I've seen this happen frequently and people often miss it as signs that a girl has been abused).

I cry every time I watch these videos because I can feel the safe space she is trying to create and it makes my heart feel so full

God bless this wonderful human. You are incredible.

My mum lets me shop for whatever clothing (I was born male and identify as male) because she knows that I like a lot of the clothing in the women’s section such as blouses, blazers, belts, etc

I am wearing that exact shirt right now. Also what do you do if the child is a different religion?

Genuinely if you don’t support lgbt+ if your a foster parent your going to need to put that aside if you want the responsibility.

Thank you. You are making so many children’s lives easier by doing this instead of just shunning it like a bad deed just thank you I wish my mother was as supportive as you are

You are my hero. Thank you!!

This is _so_ informative. I want to foster in the future when I’m more financially stable and, honestly, when I feel more confident in my skills to provide what a foster child will need (mentally, emotionally, etc.) and these vids are great foods for thought on my route to that destination down the road.

I was having a bad night but this was so wholesome and really lifted my spirits. You're awesome.

Clothes are clothes!

I’ve watched a few of your short videos and you are truly a very special person. Thank you for what you do and the care with which you do it. You’re a gem!!!

Tearing up at the absolute support and love from someone I respect so much and who I know has such an impact on so many people’s lives. My mama is super supportive but it still overwhelms me with joy when I see others step up with love.

Honestly, thanks for the any section of the store part, I'm not even Trans but there's just some stuff in the opposite genders section that wasn't in mine. One of my favorite cases: My smurf sweater. It's a white smurf sweater, and they were only found in the guys section. All the ones in the girls section were flowery and stuff...

I would love to have a parent, foster or not, to treat me this way as a transgender child. All my parents told me is that I needed to do more research and that kids would bully me if I changed my gender. Of course, I know that, but why do I have to do research to just be called by a name I prefer or pronouns I prefer? It did really hurt my feelings, it felt like I was more alone than before to figuring out my gender and who I am. I came out to them a year ago and still not being called what I prefer and they know that I don’t like being called what I’m not, really hurts still.

See this is perfect, not pushing anything but just leaving it as a option. This is honestly great tip for a lot of parents that aren’t necessarily fostering, a lot of parents nowadays push certain things I feel. Love your videos sm

No, I'm not crying at this, you are (I absolutely am crying, I had a horrible day and an appointment with a very cis-normative doctor today (I'm non-binary) and seeing something this positive and supportive as a kind of opposite to my bad experience was just what I needed)

Too bad real foster parenting training really is about legalities and offers nothing in the way to greet/talk to/work with different kids from different backgrounds. I’ve had kids with me and was told they were worried about food (food insecurities) but offered NOTHING in the way of helping new FP to cope with this in the best way for kids. I’ve learned more from you than I ever could learn from the out dated material of heres what we expect, here is how you make friends with the foster patents. Some is logic but some new FP’s struggle. I gave up my license because I felt I was not serving the child in the most helpful way and the dep. for children and families have always known very little and had almost no advice.

Man, I just love having videos like this on my feed. Like, treating kids with respect and love, and fostering a really safe space is just the ultimate goal and not everyone understands that they could do so many things that they didn't think of to help them feel safe.

As a gay person I can understand how kids can feel with getting support from adults(if any at all), and your doing a good job of being an allie.

My niece is transgendered. The most important thing you can do without saying anything is make them feel like you have their back in a fight. Depending on where they are in their transition, they can be very vulnerable. Africian-American Transgendered women are more likely to be murdered than most people in general. They need to know that if someone teases them for being in an odd state of their transition, you will support them no matter what.

You explain everything so clearly and give such nice examples. I believe respect and kindness go a long way, but all the tips and tricks you provide are golden! ❤

Thank you for this! As a member of the LGBTQ+ youth, I just wanna say thank you for supporting us. I’m not a foster child, but I still wanted to say thank you. Also, I can’t get over the rainbow flowers on your shirt- Was that on purpose? I feel like that’s another “pride item” that you would include.

you are such a great person all around. it’s so refreshing to see

This is helpful for me, I’m interested in fostering children when I’m older, since I don’t want kids of my own, but i want to help kids in bad situations and stuff, and I’m going into psychology

Oh also! Offer to stick with the kid if they like, I get far too anxious to go into other sections of stores by myself so it could be nice to give them that option!

Omg the “Shop any section you want” would be life changing for some kids. That is such an amazing thing to do.

if we only had people on this planet who are this accepting and empathetic towards others, there literally would not be any human caused issue whatsoever, thank you for contributing to making this world a better place by being accepting and caring, the effect these small things can have to turn the life of so often abused LGBTQ kids around for the better and have them be able to finally be themselves is so unimaginably immense, thank you for that and helping others by spreading this information.

Yes!! Allies, please don’t assume you know enough! I’m so glad you said to ask for advice. Whether it’s from others in the community or from research online (on lgbtqia-supportive sites ofc). Nobody’s ever done learning. I’m queer myself and after over 12 years out, I’m still discovering internalised homophobia/transphobia that I need to unlearn. I think being a good ally means challenging yourself to do the same thing. Does that make sense?

oh my gosh this is so beautiful. youre an angel.

With all the transphobic and queerphobic legislation going on in the US right now, it warms my heart to see this as a transgender person. I’ve never had experience with the foster care system or anything of the sort but it still is good to know there’s supportive foster parents out there ❤ 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

I'm not trans, but I am a part of the LGBTQ community, and everything that you'd be willing to do for a foster kid is amazing. However, one concern I have is about telling the biological parent about the child's style/haircut. I know from experience that being outed is awful and it may not cause a safe environment for the child with their biological parents. You didn't put this in the video but I would talk to the child and see if they are willing to let you talk to their biological parent before mentioning it to them. However, I am not a foster parent, or a parent at all, but I know what it feels like the be a kid in the LGBTQ community. That's the only concern I have but you are doing everything else perfectly and keep up the amazing work🌈❤

As a non-binary teen, these things are actually what I used to look for to see if I was safe to tell someone my pronouns

My God lady Just how big is your heart lol, seriously blown away with all the thoughtfulness and love and care that you put into your videos. Even though I don't have kids or foster kids or I don't know if I ever want kids... I'm addicted to your videos because they're soothing for me. You're such a soothing sweet lady. Your sweet, calm, and caring demeanor eases my negative emotions and my anxiety. I just wish everyone could have someone in their life to be so thoughtful, considerate, caring, and empathetic. You just bring so much warmth to me and make me feel less alone and lonely in this world.

You give me so much hope for this world.

You popped up on my recommended and I've just been scrolling through your shorts and you seem to be such an incredible person

I am so glad you're looking at this.

I just want you to know that you are inspiring me to be a foster parent in the future 💗you're such a beautiful soul

I am nonbinary and my parents are extremely transphobic. even when shopping alone i get uncomfortable shopping in any section that isnt the women's because i feel so judged by people that arent there

you’re amazing! thank you for this simple, yet very important attitude :’)

It's wonderful people like you who make situations like foster care easier for children and let them know that they are safe ❤️

I wish the adults in my life had treated me this way.

Thank you for not putting pressure on the child to teach you! Of course you’ll learn from them, but it is really awesome that you reached out for help beforehand

Thx for the short

This video is great, but there are a few things that I wouldn’t recommend. Speaking as a trans identifying person, I think asking a queer foster child their preferred name and pronouns as great. What I wouldn’t suggest doing is asking “On the paperwork, your name Jane/John Doe. Is that what you want to be called?” That can be really triggering to a trans person. Especially one who’s already in a really triggering situation. What I would ask instead is “what is your preferred name?” or “what do you like to be called?” Hearing their dead name might just triggered them more and might make them more uncomfortable and more unwilling to open up to you and see you as a safe person. It’s really important that you try not to accidentally say they’re dead name, that way they feel accepted. There are some who might not mind hearing their dead name especially if you didn’t know, but there are some who will find that very very triggering. If you’re thinking about taking in a trans identifying foster child, I would suggest taking a lot of queer studies and gender studies classes so you’re more informed. Also speaking to others about their experience might be helpful as well. What I wouldn’t recommend, is going to a cis/straight person for advice on what they may be going through. I would instead suggest going to other queer/trans people to ask for their experience and how you might be able to help the foster child. While, I do agree with a lot of the advice in the video and I think it’s great, I do think that it would be more helpful if foster parents took queer and gender studies classes for those foster children that might have been kicked out because they are queer or trans or both. This also applies to parents that might not be fostering. If the child that you gave birth to has come out to you, please know they are already feeling very vulnerable and afraid. It can be helpful to them if you take the initiative and do your own research instead of going to them with lots of questions. Remember they are going through an adjustment just like you and might not be ready to answer a lot of complex questions. For all parents - foster or not - it’s important that you educate yourself on what your child may be going through. It’ll make their transition easier for them and you. 🏳️‍⚧️⚧️🏳️‍🌈 Thank you all for being allies!!!

I don’t have a child or even plan to but this information is just nice to have to help people feel comfortable without having to put the effort onto them so much. You have fostered children and have a life and still find time to share this info in a quick fun manor. Thank you for all you do❤

Ur an angel

This made me cry the best tears 🙏🏼🥰

This is awesome, I work with foster youth and have had terrible experiences with so many foster parents who refuse to be open to our LGBTQ+ kiddos

I love every single video/short of you that I am able to find. Much love and respect Laura.

The fact there are now ffosterparents like this makes me glad that less kids will go through what i did.

thank you so much for your videos, i don’t plan on ever being a parent of any kind but your videos on foster parenting are helping me to reparent my inner child, and to feel safe knowing there are people who are really, actually GOOD. you are so loved! thank you thank you thank you

You give me goosebumps and I'm so in love with your beautiful videos. Thanks for being in the world.

Even her smile tells people that shes a safe space ❤❤❤ she radiates safety

This is awesome! We live in a society where sexual topics aren't as taboo as they were 50 years ago. It is all around. Acknowledging and supporting a child is so important!

This is super important, thank you so much for sharing this, from the bottom of my heart.

Its really easy to be accepting for an LGBTQIA+ child.

Thank you for being so respectful to others and understanding that even the smaller things can go a long way

I love how you're asking the important questions but not making a big deal out of it. Would definitely make me feel safe.

i’m a queer trans guy and my plan for the future is to foster teens, especially disabled and lgbtq+ ones (aka people who are less likely to be fostered/adopted and are more likely to be harmed in a group home or in the system)

I have lgbtq+ kids in my family and I just ask "where do you wanna look ifrst" when we go shopping. A huge relief from them being pulled around by their parents. I had huge anxiety from shopping for the longest time because my mom would make my choices for me, I never want to do that to the kids in my life.

Thank u!!

It's so good to know that there people that care enough to make sure of these thank you for being so kind

As a queer woman in my 20s, I want to ask foster parents to do these things with all of your foster kids. Many of them will not be out and many of them haven't been educated about the queer community accurately, so seeing that accepting and affirming cishet folks exist could be life saving for them. It also means you're helping to raise more people to be accepting and affirming. Saying your pronouns every time you say your name is one of the easiest and most important ways you can do that.

What would you do if you fostered someone who had been taught a lot of hate rhetoric before being placed?

I absolutely love the Rose Apothecary shirt! Little details like that can make a big difference. 🌈

God blessed you with a big heart.

also like calling period products period products instead of feminine products