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We’ve Been Dating a Year (Should I Propose?) 

The Dr. John Delony Show
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We’ve Been Dating a Year (Should I Propose?)
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26 фев 2023

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Комментарии : 171   
@weezee123456
@weezee123456 4 месяца назад
My first date with my wife I went to her bon voyage party had to much to drink and went up to her and told her I was going to marry her. When she got back from her cruise we started dating. After 15 weeks we got engaged. 15 months later we were married. It's been almost 54 years. Never once did I ever regret it
@travel4fun003
@travel4fun003 Год назад
I got engaged 4.5 months after our first date. It was the best decision we ever made, however at 35 and 37 we were old enough to know what we wanted. I don't think there is an exact time, it all depends on everyone's individual circumstances.
@aina3387
@aina3387 10 месяцев назад
Glad to hear this! My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 6 months and we are talking marriage and I think part of why we can talk about it so early is because we are both in our mid 30s. My sis doesn't quite understand this and thinks we are going fast, haha.
@michaelh2282
@michaelh2282 Год назад
With respect to Delony who has been married for 20+ years, but most men I personally know who have long successful marriages told me their 3 keys look for in a potential spouse to propose: 1) A compatible set of values 2) You and him/her have a similar vision of where your lives will be together in 10 years 3) Some base level of physical attraction
@michaelh2282
@michaelh2282 Год назад
@@SarahConnor562 regarding your #2. Obviously you want to run through as many reasonable contingencies over the next 10 years as possible with your future spouse, but realistically, the unexpected will always happen. However, if you have a similar set of values and you're both not on different life paths, the two of you should be able to find a solution that fits both of you when the unexpected happens. Yeah, #3 tends to trigger some women here, but without some physical attraction, you'll be missing that instinctual glue that pushes you towards your spouse, rather than to another person. You don't need those "tear your clothes off each other" feelings, but you need to have some urges.
@michaelh2282
@michaelh2282 Год назад
​​@@SarahConnor562 I think questions regarding adoption and IVF are more "values" questions, which you should already have some idea well in advance. For example, if you are interested in dating a traditional Catholic or she's against "all" abortions, you shouldn't be shocked 10 years later that she's also opposed to IVF. But yeah, fertility questions and related items like adoption should be discussed, especially if at least one of the partners is in his/her 30s.
@michaelh2282
@michaelh2282 Год назад
@@SarahConnor562 We Catholics (including myself) vary wildly in their beliefs and practices, despite our allegiance to Rome. Some are very strict in everything from abortion, to IVF, to birth control, etc. And for some (like myself), it's just another excuse to root for an extra couple college football teams on Saturday and mingle with my local community on a regular basis. But yes, as you say, the more you talk through all the relevant contingencies, the better off you'll be later on. I'm glad you and your husband got your family situation sorted out.
@JKNat9004
@JKNat9004 Год назад
​@@SarahConnor562 You were blessed to find someone you could communicate well with otherwise you wouldn't have been able to have such conversation.
@sparkles999rose2
@sparkles999rose2 Месяц назад
Everything changed but the last one
@thejakelegion
@thejakelegion Год назад
Stephen, I got married at 24 back in 2015. My wife and I dated for about 16 months-ish. During that time, we TALKED about everything. Family, kids, money, beliefs, etc etc etc. We agreed on everything that was of consequence. We also learned to love each other a lot. We got married and it's been going great. We've also had to work a LOT to love each other well, have our 4 kids, and be there for one another. It's not always easy but we are ALL IN on each other no matter what comes.
@VanJR.
@VanJR. Год назад
Dang, y’all went quick! Lol But on a serious note, God bless y’all
@Rachel_Robinson
@Rachel_Robinson Год назад
Wow!! Thanks for sharing. There are decisive great guys, like you in this world.
@Guitarlvr01
@Guitarlvr01 Год назад
A year is plenty of time to determine whether you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. I dated my husband for exactly a year, married 13 months in. Honestly, best decision ever.
@JasonTaylor-po5xc
@JasonTaylor-po5xc 7 месяцев назад
My wife and I married 4 days after meeting each other in person for the first time. We had been corresponding for months (still very short) and decided things were moving in the right direction, so I got my passport and went to see her. Thankfully, it worked out (21+ years together) but I would also be the first to recommend a more sensible courtship. We were the exception, not the rule. We were also a bit older and knew the type of person we wanted (27 and 30) and we were already in alignment on most of the important issues. Advice is spot on. The warm fuzzies come and go but the commitment made still remains. Love is a choice.
@chloerosenberg2198
@chloerosenberg2198 Год назад
I met my husband online. On Christian connection. We were doing distance. And we are in our 30s. I'm 35 he's 33. The first look I saw my boyfriend come off the plane I knew. So dated 2 dates. Popped the question. And we're happy. 2 years in and expecting our first baby.
@youart9797
@youart9797 Год назад
YouArt 4 hours ago (edited) I guess I thought Love was a feeling. Dr John really opened my eyes. Dr John said, "She'll have a kid" "I made a covenant, I said "I would" the times when I've been dangling over the edge to leave this thing and walk.....I said "I would". Wow, I never knew Dr John was such a romantic! "She'll have a kid" not "We'll have a kid" referring to his marriage as "this thing". Reminds me a little bit of when Jerry Maguire told Renee Zellweger's character, "I stick" as in "I stick around because it's my duty" but in any event Dr John's wife is one lucky woman to have such a romantic husband because he sticks around because he said he would and out of a sense of duty to help her raise her kid that she had with him. Sounds like Dr John views his marriage as a legal arrangement or that he entered into a contract (I guess he actually did!) and he has a duty not to "leave this thing" because he signed the papers.
@JKNat9004
@JKNat9004 Год назад
​@@youart9797 The reason why more traditional weddings took place in churches, instead of being on a beach or in the mountains, is because the writings in the Bible, in essence teach that idea, John spoke of. Love is a Decision.
@bufficliff8978
@bufficliff8978 5 месяцев назад
@@youart9797You're just naive, my guy. When the honeymoon phase is over you still have to love them. When you don't like them you still have to love them. When you want to divorce them you still have to love them. When you want to kill them you still have to love them. If all you have is feelings you'll divorce. Commitment IS romantic. It's fine to be naive; we all are on certain things, but if you've listened to enough of John you've heard him talk about the necessity for romance. Your perception of what he said doesn't at all line up with other things he's said, so surely you see gaps in your perception?
@youart9797
@youart9797 5 месяцев назад
​@@bufficliff8978 Bullicliff my son, it is great to be idealistic. I have many fond memories of my youth and growing up with many idealistic young people. You need to allow love to raise above the current crisis of the moment. It's not about reacting to some unpleasant or pleasant circumstance that is happening right now. I believe in the 1st amendment, allow dialog in the public square such as youtube. If you don't agree with others observations don't accuse them of being dim or having "gaps" in their perceptions. That's what I believe anyway. You apparently have different beliefs and I won't attack you for having them. I do know that many idealistic people stay in unhealthy relationships for decades because they are holding out hope things will get better. Some people get divorced and remain great friends. They many even still love each other, they're just night right for each other as a partner. I hope you're able to see and appreciated that. Keep your head up, stay grounded and have a blessed day!
@jdmecarr
@jdmecarr Год назад
My husband and I started talking about marriage early on in our relationship. We got engaged 1.5 yrs into dating (I was 26) and got married a year after the engagement. The biggest factor for me was how much our values aligned. I knew we can raise beautiful kids because our thought process are practically the same. We have 2 kids now and turning 8 yrs married. Best decision of my life.
@KimMuneri
@KimMuneri Год назад
What kind of values?
@jdmecarr
@jdmecarr Год назад
@@KimMuneri vision for our future family, how we want to raise kids and manage finances etc
@LSSYLondon
@LSSYLondon 29 дней назад
What happens when the kids are gone?
@cess4089
@cess4089 Год назад
Met in March. Started dating in September engaged in October married by February. Married for 15 years have 6 great kids and a great love life. When you know, you know.
@xbjrrtc
@xbjrrtc Год назад
The time between meeting, becoming friends, dating, and getting married was under 9 months for my husband and me. We're about to reach our 5 year anniversary and have remained in love and best friends all along. We met in our 30s, however, and had maturity and perspective to have a healthy relationship. That's not to say younger people wouldn't be at that point, but I do think our increased life experience made us more tolerant, forgiving, and grateful for each other.
@xbjrrtc
@xbjrrtc Год назад
4:48 This part is so important. We went through being broke, career changes, the pandemic, and significant and protracted health issues. All in less than five years. Those trials made us cleave together and solidified our commitment to each other. I feel so lucky to have him by my side.
@ingramwifey2016
@ingramwifey2016 Год назад
I got engaged after dating three months and married 4 months after that! Almost 7 years later and we're still happily married 🥰🥰 we were 21 and 22.
@kathyb1011
@kathyb1011 Год назад
My 47th wedding anniversary is coming up. We got married when i was 19 and he was 21. We had been together since we were best friends at 9 and 11. If anyone thinks you don't fall in and out of love over that length of time is deluded. But the question I've always asked in the hardest times was would I be happy without him? When I was about 30 I heard an old man (I thought he was really old but he was probably younger than I am now). He was being interviewed with his wife about how their marriage had worked for 40 years. He said "I guess we both never fell out of love at the same time". I remembered that and it was very helpful.
@Rachel_Robinson
@Rachel_Robinson Год назад
Thanks for sharing, this was so helpful
@raymondjames2590
@raymondjames2590 Год назад
In the beginning it's not love it's lust love only comes up when you go through hard times together and see if you both can handle that fire. Been married for 45 years and for the last 5 years or more love can be a flame to carry it the rest of the way. That's the way I see it now for others it's different and that's ok.
@JKNat9004
@JKNat9004 Год назад
Excellent point.
@BryceCorbitt
@BryceCorbitt Год назад
My longest relationship ended at nearly 4 years. I met my soon-to-be fiance 7 months ago. We have dated for the last 6 months, and just ordered the ring! When you know, you know. Just how do we know? We spend about 3 hours a day talking to each other on the phone. We are on the same page with religion, finances, life goals, and virtually every other value. Even though we are an hour apart, we have seen each other 56 times in the last 6 months, slightly over twice a week.
@JudePi-jx7yo
@JudePi-jx7yo 3 месяца назад
An hour apart and you only see each other twice a week? That;s not much. So update?
@BryceCorbitt
@BryceCorbitt 3 месяца назад
@@JudePi-jx7yo We are happily married :) proposed in April last year, and had our wedding this past January. We saw each other closer to 4 times a week once we got engaged.
@BryceCorbitt
@BryceCorbitt 3 месяца назад
@@JudePi-jx7yo We are now happily married :) got engaged April of last year, and had our wedding this past January. We started seeing each other closer to 4 times a week once we got engaged.
@omi1279
@omi1279 Год назад
I didn't know you had a conversation with Dr. Peterson, Dr. Delony. WOW! I am going to go check it out right now!
@LSSYLondon
@LSSYLondon 29 дней назад
This guy doesn't sound like he is head over heels in love. He sounds like he is the type to have ticked boxes. She fits so he will propose.
@sbentsen2714
@sbentsen2714 Год назад
Really needed to hear this today. I realize I I've been addicted to feelings. I started going to a new church and shortly after I met this girl there, and was/am very attracted to her, and after a couple coffee dates we really seemed to hit it off. I expressed my feelings that I like her and want to continue knowing her in friendship with intentions to possibly be more. She said she felt the same, and we agreed to be friends and see where it goes. Then the next day she texts me saying that she felt the Lord telling her that we would most likely only be friends, and she's called to singleness. So I've been back and forth and back and forth in having hope that something more would happen, but it hasn't yet. This segment has helped me to put my feelings in their proper place at least for today, and try to move on, not having expectations that she's gonna change or something will open up. Thank you for letting me share 🙏🏼☺️
@Whatorwellsaid21
@Whatorwellsaid21 Год назад
Move on. She is not into you. When women like you they don’t hesitate. In any event, if she wavered on you once she could do it again later on. Not worth the risk.
@Mysterious_Moon
@Mysterious_Moon Год назад
I wouldn’t take it personally. Be glad that she let you know early. She has more information on herself that it’s not a match. And her lame reason that she came up with, to save face, should tell you that she is not dating material for you or anyone else.
@michaelh2282
@michaelh2282 Год назад
I don't know how old she was, but it sounds like you screwed up by being too direct too fast about your feelings and by boring her by not doing anything beyond coffee dates. Younger women (early to mid 20s or below) often tend to be a bit frightened by men who push their feelings onto them before they're emotionally ready. Find a new woman. After your first coffee date, ask her for a "real" date, not yet another boring coffee date. Show her that you know how to have fun and be responsible a few times, and then once she's comfortable with you, then you can express your feelings and intentions.
@burymebelowawillowtree9243
@burymebelowawillowtree9243 Год назад
Like another person said, when a woman likes you no one, nothing, will stop her. She thought she liked you and she flopped. Maybe not her case but from my own experience and from seeing other’s experiences, she probably came in contact with a past love interest or she just flat out doesn’t feel it. Either way, you sound like a great honest man. I’m positive you’ll find the right one soon. Move on, do things for others, help elders in your circle and don’t obsess over her.
@Nah-ah
@Nah-ah Год назад
Better she told you sooner than resent you later when her feelings change! Women filter a lot of situations in their life through emotions so she was self aware enough to let you know! Some women don’t and then they end up ghosting you or if they said yes, will struggle to keep up in the relationship and will eventually leave. She did you a favor!
@remiewatkins8032
@remiewatkins8032 Год назад
Awesome John great truth in that Love you work
@bethanyb4478
@bethanyb4478 Год назад
I've been dating a guy for about four months. We've been discussing values and life goals from the beginning. So far, so good.
@MiaStayingCreative
@MiaStayingCreative Год назад
“Love is a promise.” 💕💕
@kiersting5005
@kiersting5005 Год назад
I got married 11 year ago to a man I had met barely a year before. We shared the same values and we loved each other. Everything from there on stemmed from the covenant we made on our wedding day. Sometimes it’s been extremely hard. We have had to walk through seasons where nobody would have blamed either of us for calling it quits. But I’m telling you, the reward of choosing each other over and over regardless of feelings is so rich. It’s so good.
@zenlife321
@zenlife321 Год назад
Funny how you thought that went bad and I was cheering you on. Great insights.
@mermaidsexist4339
@mermaidsexist4339 2 месяца назад
I got married at 21 and I do not feel it was too young to get married- 21 is an adult. My life has just gotten more colorful and amazing in those last 11 years. Focusing on his age is a disservice to him- the focus needs to be on their compatibility and their goals in life MUST align. ❤
@annafranczyk5212
@annafranczyk5212 2 месяца назад
Awesome! absolutely brilliant.
@user-nz2rf7fm8h
@user-nz2rf7fm8h 4 месяца назад
It’s really about if you’ve had the important conversations and aligned on the future; you can spend a lot of time with someone and those conversations never happen. My husband and I got engaged 11 months into dating and married 5 months later. We had all the conversations up front and honestly, we are in service to each other and it’s the greatest blessing
@jill9606
@jill9606 Год назад
I think it also depends upon if you and your partner both have the same idea of how soon you’d like to be married. My husband and I had been together 4 years before getting engaged and married at 5 total years together. It was what made the most sense to us, so both parties were happy.
@FlaqkoGTA
@FlaqkoGTA Год назад
I got married in highschool. We got together in 2012 when we were 16. 2 years later we had a son and got married. I didn't know what I was doing and was just listening to my mom of how she told me y'all should get married. Looking back it was terrible advice and no one should do it. But I got lucky. I married the love of my life. Been together for over 10 years and have 3 kids together now
@thorneto2742
@thorneto2742 Год назад
That’s crazy, me and my wife stated dating at 15 years old but didn’t marry until 28 and still don’t have kids at 34. Wild how differently lives can diverge despite starting in similar places.
@olgasuner999
@olgasuner999 Год назад
We all make a covenant what is important to ask one itself. Are you happy in the relationship? Or you’re simply keeping a status quo? Looks like that’s what a lot of marriages about nowadays until further they come to realization that they have wanted best years of their lives and gave up on their wants and desires to make the other person happy. Marriage or love partnerships are about respect, understanding, support and be for one another no matter what.
@sophiawish9772
@sophiawish9772 Год назад
100% Dr. John.
@gooserich3970
@gooserich3970 Год назад
Everyone is heads over hills in love for the 1st 2-3 years.... setting yourself up for failure if any earlier
@sondosmonerlaurette4505
@sondosmonerlaurette4505 5 месяцев назад
When you having a live stream? Or how can I ask you a question? Thank you
@audjusushi
@audjusushi 3 месяца назад
When I first made my feelings known to my then friend, he told me he wasn't looking for anything serious. And I said "Okay, then come find me whenever you're ready." Six months later he did and we dated exclusively. Then we lived together for a year, got engaged, and got married a year later. Just be honest about what you want out of a relationship from the start. Mean what you say, and follow through.
@belindavandyke8363
@belindavandyke8363 Год назад
This dude sounds like his “fun/spontaneity” is looking at a bag of rocks hoping he gets “good feelings”…… Just do it man! Trust your heart!!
@Dixie8642
@Dixie8642 6 месяцев назад
Some great input from John, but there are stats on this. Regardless of “we married 5 minutes after we met” success stories, odds will be higher for this sweet guy if he’s older and dates his gal longer with more life under their belt during their relationship. Heck, his brain’s not fully developed yet. I regret he was not encouraged to spend more time; it can only help. ❤️
@tacooflove6175
@tacooflove6175 Год назад
“What comes, comes but here I am.”
@DominickSpano
@DominickSpano Год назад
So what I am about to say may not be the best advice, but in all candor a small part of me just wants to say go all in and marry her right now. This coming from a guy who has been single for awhile in a time where dating is dreadful. Really this young man should give it a litte longer with his partner and take Dr. John's advice and good feedback.
@thegreyghost4191
@thegreyghost4191 4 месяца назад
If you know what you want in life and meet someone who wants the same things, it honestly shouldnt take more than 6 months to be confident it will work out. Any longer and your just screwing around.
@leapheap6837
@leapheap6837 Год назад
How many marriages actually work out long term in the modern days of 2023? Not many. 50% end in divorce. And many are separated and not happy. You’re 24 dude. There’s no rush.
@suzzannarogers
@suzzannarogers 3 месяца назад
the 50% divorce rate is a myth. it is actually around 30% & and lower for Christian households.
@sparkles999rose2
@sparkles999rose2 Месяц назад
This is the exact opposite of my experience. My husband and I used to be liberals and we changed to conservatives. All our values on everything changed together. It doesn’t matter what your values are when you’re young it’ll all change.
@ineedhoez
@ineedhoez Год назад
My only concern is that people say they "talked about things" but i am not buying it. You are talking but what do your actions show.
@wonder12374
@wonder12374 Год назад
He has time. It's great he's feeling this way but I think aside from their morals being in alignment, they need time to experience the ups and downs of life together and see if they like the person who shows up when things are not so great. Because that person will show up when he is married....at his age no need to rush enjoy the feeling and communicate. That's it.
@JKNat9004
@JKNat9004 Год назад
I agree. Life seems to change so quickly in between the ages of 18 and 29. Goodness, for me in that 11 years I traveled a little bit as well as, graduated high school, community college, then state university. Dated 4 different guys exclusively (one at a time). Worked at six different workplaces, and kept in touch with high school friends regularly also. As one gets into their thirties they have a better idea of who they are and what they want. It sounds like this guy and his gal have a good start, but would do well to give this more time.
@robr268
@robr268 Год назад
The ups and downs are for marriage. No one hits a rough spot in dating and got married. Dating is happy go lucky.
@tomnohmy1273
@tomnohmy1273 Год назад
Too soon to propose, at least it's being asked before the wedding, got that right at least.
@rachelmaddowswife8713
@rachelmaddowswife8713 Год назад
You should know someone and know whether or not you're madly in love a year in (assuming you're adults). I'm not saying this guy should propose today, but why not start having a conversation with her? This isn't something he's going to figure out by himself, she needs to be brought into the convo. Maybe he'll ask what her marriage timeline is and she'll say "6 years from now after I get my PhD and have an experience living in Europe", and then all this turmoil will be for nothing. He's acting like she's desperate to get married yesterday and the decision is only up to him and his feelings. Maybe her response will be that she's in love with him, but she sees some potential incompatibilities that they need to figure out. All the well adjusted married couples I know talked about getting engaged before they got engaged, surprise proposals only seem to happen in the movies. If you're worried about spoiling the romance with too much honesty and communication, maybe marriage isn't a great idea for you at this point.
@Dahmer_Jeff
@Dahmer_Jeff 9 месяцев назад
That's what dating is for...you're supposed to have those conversations...it's called getting to know someone. If you find that you're not on the same page for things, time to go!
@nicoleyoshihara4011
@nicoleyoshihara4011 Год назад
If you know each other are the right person for each other, male/female, it is better to get married sooner than later ^_^
@dhritikapoor2897
@dhritikapoor2897 Год назад
I would suggest them to date for another year or two and then get married
@random-nz7dy
@random-nz7dy Год назад
It's nice to have a call where somebody's not a hot mess. Haha
@cristianperez1120
@cristianperez1120 Год назад
Is it weird that I went sky diving and wasn’t scared at all like I even told the guy that why did I have no reaction? I did it at 18
@DeRocco21
@DeRocco21 7 месяцев назад
The question is when are you ready?
@amiblack8294
@amiblack8294 Год назад
If you have to ask if you're ready then you're not ready. They say it takes 2 years to see all sides of a person and I believe that. A lot of people are on their best behavior for the first 6 months or so and from what I've seen, women can hide their crazy for a long time. In my opinion, 24 is very young to be thinking of marriage. Many of us don't even really know who we are or where we're going in life until early 30s. Met my husband at 29 and got married at 31. At 31 I was ready; at 24 I was making stupid, selfish, destructive decisions and in NO position to be a good wife to anybody or even know what that meant. If you have to question whether or not you love someone enough to propose, then you don't. When you know, you know. If you don't know, then you don't love them enough for marriage. Is your definition of love even the same? Do you share the same definition/meaning of marriage? Compatibility on many levels matters-are your values similar, do you have similar goals, do you share a faith, how do you each look at the world, are you on the same page when it comes to finances, having children (and the way to raise them), have you seen each other at your worst? etc. Marriage isn't a hobby or something to ditch when it gets too hard for you both. Married 27 years here and one of the few couples in our group who are not divorced; in fact we're still crazy about each other :) For us divorce wasn't/isn't an option-if it was then we wouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Again-the difference between the way I perceived marriage at 24 years old was very different than it was at 31 years old. If you have to ask somebody else if you're ready to get married then you're not ready. Also, if you can't pay for a wedding yourselves and aren't mature enough to plan a wedding within your budget, you're DEFINITELY not ready to get married. Spend at least another year together, get to see all sides to her-how she handles conflict, differences, disappointment, finances, failure, health issues, relationships, etc Remember that It's the MAN who stands to lose the most when it all goes to crap, so you owe it to yourself to KNOW beyond a shadow o a doubt that the person you're marrying is in it for the long haul and not just while it's fun/easy. Too many men learn this the hard way-don't be one of them.
@sbentsen2714
@sbentsen2714 Год назад
Hey my name is Steven as well 😁
@darciee.7337
@darciee.7337 Год назад
A year is reasonable. 5 months is not only when when you barely had a clue who he was or even knew who you were and you had a lot of baggage on top of that. Don't do what I did.
@youart9797
@youart9797 Год назад
I know people who have been married for 10 years and I think I know each of them individually better then they know each other.
@robr268
@robr268 Год назад
Society is telling him to wait. I really hate this generation. It clouds our judgment.
@Cas1353
@Cas1353 Год назад
I got married at 25 and quite frankly I feel that I missed out on a lot of things. I wouldn’t recommend marriage to anyone under 30.
@cjwsk12
@cjwsk12 Год назад
Would you mind explaining why? Would love to hear your perspective on this
@rory644
@rory644 Год назад
@@cjwsk12 because at 25 you’re just too young our brains are only fully developed by then. I got married last year at 39 I was with my now wife for 9 years before we got married, I never understood the rush for people to get married without barely knowing each other.
@FlaqkoGTA
@FlaqkoGTA Год назад
I got married my senior year in highschool lol
@youart9797
@youart9797 Год назад
It's kind of funny women may not know this but when a big portion of married guys are away from their wives and they see a single guy in his mid 20s talk about about marriage, they quietly say, "don't get married". No one will ever admit to this and a lot of people will say this comment is cynical...but deep down in places we don't like to admit ourselves...we know its true.
@lisacraft9929
@lisacraft9929 6 месяцев назад
Young man, quit over analyzing everything! You guys take all the fun out of life. JUST DO IT!
@jeromehenry4484
@jeromehenry4484 Год назад
A lot of commenters at going to say 24 years old is too young to consider marriage. I must disagree on that assumption for this particular caller. It is unusual for a young man just 2 years out of college to be considering marriage at all. It really sounds like caller has met "his one". His doubts stem from comparing his personal experience with that of his peers. In USA, men usually marry around 30 - 32 years old (don't know statistic for Canada); females are usually 28 - 31 years old. When caller sees his peers are not marriage minded at this point (only dating for fun), he doubts himself. He needs to put aside what his peers are doing/their opinions. Consider doing lists with pros and cons of marriage (in general) and this particular woman. Also do a list of his life goals. How do these factors mesh? Might consider discussion with his parents, especially if they have a successful marriage themselves. It would be a shame if she really is his one, but he lets her slip away because he cared more about what his peers think then what his own desires are.
@Rachel_Robinson
@Rachel_Robinson Год назад
You’re absolutely right! With modern women, it’s extremely hard to find an exceptional woman. He should marry her, if she is.
@mxusa8383
@mxusa8383 Год назад
😂 he’s 10 years from his prime just beginning. Plenty of available women out there. Problem is soo many are trying to be like fu*k boys and literally giving away their most valuable asset from 16-21 they screw themselves and usually end up pregnant and a body count of 50. So many girls raised by single moms with poor behaviors they don’t even know what a good girl is supposed to act like. He will be fine there’s no shortage of girls turning 18. Gotta get them young though before they make poor decisions. He’s gotta be at least 30 and established to gain her respect to be loyal to him.
@gbear34
@gbear34 Год назад
If youre compatible just commit already. People used to marry someone after 3 or 4 weeks They knew something we seem to have forgotten: every day of marriage is a choice.
@Spaceman99966
@Spaceman99966 2 месяца назад
Dont use your feelings, dont run it like a computer... was I not listening close enough or was John confusing
@brunomclovin8413
@brunomclovin8413 Год назад
Then she will have a kid ?? Maybe you need to rethink that statement
@thejakelegion
@thejakelegion Год назад
Don't be a baby. People who get married do tend to have kids. And John's point is that kids change things for the mom, the dad and the family. So you have to be ready for that and work through those changes. Yeah, she may "have a kid" like my wife has had 4 kids and it's not an attack on anyone.
@lav7161
@lav7161 Год назад
Ok, so don't have a kid. Got it. What's the next step?
@mermaidsexist4339
@mermaidsexist4339 2 месяца назад
@@lav7161live life to the fullest and treat others as you would want to be treated
@thegenxgamerr
@thegenxgamerr Год назад
24... Im begging you, please, please do some research and look at outcomes for men and marriage. Not historical context, current context (1990 on). I dont know what the social construct is in Canada, I know in the states the outcomes for men are not great. Especially if things dont go well, and even if things remain intact outcomes for men in marriage are not so rosy. Please look at online resources for mental health outcomes for married men, along with financial, social, legal. She might be the woman of your dreams, if she is she will be there when you are 34. Marriage is the state recognizing you are married and creating a legal framework for your relationship. You dont need that, you can be in a loving long term relationship without legalities. If you are religious that is completely different. Many are secular now, or at a minimum not as devout religiously. If you are thats great, talk to people in your church they will really help guide you. Good luck young man.
@boston312
@boston312 Год назад
This dude about to get financially raped in Canada. Those divorce laws towards men in Canada are no joke
@kennyhughes3880
@kennyhughes3880 Год назад
Solid advice. Not negative or positive regarding marriage, just unbiased info on the subject.
@todd2324
@todd2324 Год назад
The main cause of all the negative outcomes in marriages in this country is that most couples don't get premarital counseling beforehand. That alone would prevent a lot of marriages from happening that should not happen to begin with. But most people make these life-altering decisions based on feelings and emotions instead of logic and reasoning.
@mxusa8383
@mxusa8383 Год назад
This guy will walk himself into the slaughterhouse if he’s not careful. If he wants to show more commitment then propose and stay engaged for multiple years and prepare a prenuptial agreement. Don’t let the government dictate your marriage terms. Run engaged for some years and see if you still like it. Woman do some funny things when you show them commitment. Always gotta be prepared to walk away and don’t let her forget that. Don’t even get me started how so many relationships crumble after kids. That’s a whole different animal to tackle and attempt to do.
@boston312
@boston312 Год назад
@@todd2324 i dont know if premarital counseling would do any good but I do know that if men had to get mandatory prenuptial agreements before marriage than no man would marry, The financial devastation of a divorce in America is enough to make any man run
@olgasuner999
@olgasuner999 Год назад
I meant wasted their best years. Sorry autocorrect issue.
@kaizenborntowin
@kaizenborntowin Год назад
Just keep dating her and having fun together. When she is ready, she will bring up the topic of marriage. Until then, don't bring it up.
@mxusa8383
@mxusa8383 Год назад
And for the love of GOD get a prenup…. Don’t let the government dictate your marriage terms.
@teag6240
@teag6240 Месяц назад
Seeing all of these comments about people having short courtship periods before marriage and having a happy marriage despite it sounds very discouraging lol. I know probably a good chunk of those stories might be people lying but still. I haven't felt like anyone I dated was 'the one'.
@iscavengersam
@iscavengersam Месяц назад
If it didn't work out they were not "the one."
@Angel-hm9so
@Angel-hm9so 6 дней назад
When you meet the one, upon first interaction it's like something inside of me recognized something in him, like seeing a old friend after 20 years. He was that familiar to me.
@alisonfraser8231
@alisonfraser8231 3 месяца назад
Based on watching the show, better ask if you will stick around if she gains weight.
@Iamsam-jl5fn
@Iamsam-jl5fn 3 месяца назад
If this dude has any doubt, then he should wait a little while longer.
@thorneto2742
@thorneto2742 Год назад
I dated my wife for 13 years before we got married, I couldn’t imagine getting married after only a year lol
@thorneto2742
@thorneto2742 Год назад
@@SarahConnor562 We started dating when we were only 15 so marriage wasn’t really an option for us early regardless. By the time we were in our 20s marriage didn’t even seem necessary because we already knew we weren’t going to break up. Just seemed like an unnecessary expense so we waited until we had some spare money for it. We’re in our mid 30s now and still happily married however we never felt ready for kids so we are childless. We are hardly the norm either lol
@rebekahmehaffey5889
@rebekahmehaffey5889 3 месяца назад
You’ll never be ready for children.
@thorneto2742
@thorneto2742 3 месяца назад
@@rebekahmehaffey5889 yeah it’s looking that way. A bit unfortunate in a way but there are other ways to live a life so we will make due
@thorneto2742
@thorneto2742 3 месяца назад
@@rebekahmehaffey5889 unfortunately yeah that’s probably true
@mermaidsexist4339
@mermaidsexist4339 2 месяца назад
@@rebekahmehaffey5889and that’s ok ❤ not everyone wants children
@youart9797
@youart9797 Год назад
I guess I thought Love was a feeling. Dr John really opened my eyes. Dr John said, "She'll have a kid" "I made a covenant, I said "I would" the times when I've been dangling over the edge to leave this thing and walk.....I said "I would". Wow, I never knew Dr John was such a romantic! "She'll have a kid" not "We'll have a kid" referring to his marriage as "this thing". Reminds me a little bit of when Jerry Maguire told Renee Zellweger's , "I stick" as in "I stick around because it's my duty" but in any event Dr John's wife is one lucky woman to have such a romantic husband because he sticks around because he said he would and out of a sense of duty to help her raise her kid that she had with him. Sounds like Dr John views his marriage as a legal arrangement or that he entered into a contract (I guess he actually did!) and he has a duty not to "leave this thing" because he signed the papers.
@erikrohr4396
@erikrohr4396 Год назад
That's one sarcastic comment! It's probably responsible of Dr. John to emphasize the commitment side of marriage, but love and marriage typically involve strong feelings, I think... It's kind of strange that someone would call a radio show to ask if he should marry this person. I wouldn't be too thrilled if I found out my wife had done that early on.
@youart9797
@youart9797 Год назад
@@erikrohr4396 Yes, bingo! It was intended to be sarcastic. Very astute of you to pick up that it was sarcastic. Anyway, I agree with you that its a little odd that the caller made the call in the 1st place. But on the strange scale of this call I'd say Dr John's response is a little higher than the caller's strange meter.
@mschenandlerbong8539
@mschenandlerbong8539 Месяц назад
Build a life together with your wife. Don't build a life and then try to wedge a woman perfectly into your established life. Have those kids early, start earning compound interest early. Retire early. Build a life. Don't listen to guys who are skittish. Just because they have baggage doesn't mean you do.
@GardenerEarthGuy
@GardenerEarthGuy Год назад
He should date her sister a few times before making a decision like that.
@aqua6613
@aqua6613 Год назад
😆 🤣 😂
@sungear
@sungear 2 месяца назад
I say he shouldn't do it. If he's hesitating and looking for validation, then he is uncomfortable deep down. He's probably a very loyal contemplative dude, but not smitten like he should be.
@iscavengersam
@iscavengersam Месяц назад
"not smitten like he should be..." he was just told to not let those feelings dictate his decision because this is not something that will keep him in it long term 🤦🏽‍♀️
@Guts318
@Guts318 Год назад
Don't even consider marriage until you're 45, at the peak of your agency. I would avoid MLTRs in your twenties; focus on yourself.
@setha360
@setha360 Год назад
Dr Juan is it too early to give away 1/2 my assets, just want to know if the court favors men LOL
@lav7161
@lav7161 Год назад
What assests do you have? How much would half be?
@bigteeist
@bigteeist Год назад
Amen
@MijoShrek
@MijoShrek Год назад
Idk why y'all worry about that if you don't have someone who even wants to marry you.
@setha360
@setha360 Год назад
@@lav7161 1/2 my slim jim if you look squash ish
@lav7161
@lav7161 Год назад
@@setha360 Oh yeah, definitely don't get married. Don't wanna give up that slim Jim 😂
@boston312
@boston312 Год назад
He should propose to her and if he truly loved her he wont ask for a prenuptial agreement neither
@Nursemidratz
@Nursemidratz Год назад
Oh hell nah lmao
@boston312
@boston312 Год назад
@Nursemidratz marriage is the ultimate commitment. If a man cant make his wife happy then he should pay lifetime alimony to compensate for that
@lisacraft9929
@lisacraft9929 6 месяцев назад
What's wrong with these guys?
@WWE2kOnline
@WWE2kOnline Год назад
He comes off a little possessive imo. I can’t believe how stupid some people are when it comes to this marriage stuff. Wait five years there is no rush if it’s right. People are just afraid to be alone.
@mxusa8383
@mxusa8383 Год назад
I’ve got a 5 year girlfriend and zero plans of marriage 😂
@Grace-zx6dv
@Grace-zx6dv Год назад
​@@mxusa8383does she know that?
@pixel6878
@pixel6878 Год назад
Dumb move to get married 🤣
@mxusa8383
@mxusa8383 Год назад
😂 agreed, and if you must do such a foolish thing please do yourself a favor and get a prenuptial agreement. Don’t let the government dictate your marriage terms. See how fast she sticks around when you tell her she walks away with less if this doesn’t work out. Woman file like 85% of the time and want out. They get unhappy and bored pretty quick.
@lestercaldera3776
@lestercaldera3776 8 месяцев назад
24 is way too young to get married
@wanderfulescape773
@wanderfulescape773 Месяц назад
I’m giving my bf of 6 months a year and a half. If by then, he hasn’t proposed (I don’t need a fancy $$$ ring) I’m telling him I’m going off the pill and whatever happens next is his responsibility.
@mxusa8383
@mxusa8383 Год назад
This poor guy 😵‍💫 he needs to pump the brakes. Dude hasn’t even hit his prime in life yet and thinking of getting locked down. Put 10 more years of work in and that pretty 20 year old will be the girl to respect and honor you. The girl you’re with now will be a distant memory. Buddy just date her and keep working on building yourself up. The younger prettier and more respectful girl will come along to marry. Just relax dude
@dontstalkmedeltoro8816
@dontstalkmedeltoro8816 Год назад
As a mother of 20 year olds.... they don't want old men. Red flags if a man can't get a woman his own age.
@catherinevalli6830
@catherinevalli6830 Год назад
DO NOT get married at 24!
@Scorcher-ii1ty
@Scorcher-ii1ty Год назад
Don’t let a chick friend zone you. Chase excellent not women.
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