We Need To Talk About Kevin Can F Himself 

Kevin already IS abusive. He manipulates her, he gaslights her, he isolates her from her friends so she has no one to turn to but her, he's financially abusive, he got her FIRED from a job because he was jealous, a job that was much better than working at a liquor store, probably ruining her career. Just because he doesn't hit her doesn't mean he's not abusive.

The show’s creator said that we don’t see Kevin through the single-camera drama setting because *he* never has to actually engage with his life in a way that’s more substantial than his colourful and eternally cheery 2-camera sitcome setting “he never has to deal with life in that way. He gets this multi-cam audience cheering him on, calling him a boy until he's 60 years old, and just allowing him to do his destructive bullshit without ever calling him out on it.”

She is not having a mental breakdown. She’s traumatized. This show is about narcissistic abuse. A narcissist is seen as charismatic and often a pillar of the community to the outside world. But is an abusive monster to the victim. It’s often not physical abuse. It’s psychological torture. And unfortunately society doesn’t recognize this type of abuse for what it is. For victims of this type of abuse, it’s literally like living in two different worlds. It’s so difficult to get someone to believe you. And when you start to fight back, the narcissist calls you crazy and smears you to the outside world and, more often than not, the world believes the abuser.

This series reminds me of Everybody Loves Raymond. Title says it all. While his wife Debra is always the angry, “unreasonable”, buzzkill, wife. Everything he does is exactly like what Kevin did. I remember one episode where he and his brother robert sabotaged Robert’s wedding invitations so they don’t need to help up with the preparations. Pretty much every episode was like that. And when Debra gets mad, Raymond will blame it on her period “it’s that time of the month again huh”. Lol

I'm halfway through the first episode and Kevin is already abusive. "Getting to" throw a party for his boss on HER anniversary, her dream being to pour HIM a beer at a new house, making breakfast for him and him complaining about the garnish, doing laundy while he's playing beer pong in the living room, having to give him instructions on what to get as an anniversary gift... This is not her having mental problems, it's him and everyone who surrounds them thinking that this relationship is normal that's the problem. It's not a coping mechanism either, it's the exact same relationship showed from their different perspectives. Having someone do all the housework, serve you and also bring money home is absolutely ideal, everything is cool, everyone is happy, like a sitcom. Having to do all the housework, cook for and pick up after someone, and have a job on top of all that is EXHAUSTING, everything is harder and darker, like a drama.

I think the story is a horror. The universe itself bends to accommodate Kevin. Everyone else loves and respects him. So every attempt Alison makes to leave or harm him in anyway is resisted by reality itself. Take away that supernatural layer though, and it's still a horror because Alison is trapped in an abusive marriage and has virtually no support. Every day of her life is a nightmare and she has this numb acceptance of parts of it as the only way she can cope. Even if you don't think Alison isn't a good person, you should still be rooting for her because she deserves to leave and have her own life. She's suffered a decade of being married to an abusive man-child, she deserves relief.

3:21 I don't think you comprehend what "abusive" means. Someone doesn't need to experience physical violence in order to be a victim of abuse. There are many forms of abuse and what Kevin does is already abusive. There's the emotional and mental abuse, where he manipulates and gaslights her, patronizes her and puts her down, and shatters her self-esteem. He talks to her like she's stupid and doesn't know any better. He got her fired from a job because he thought she was cheating on him. He isolates her so that she doesn't have any friends or a support system. There's the financial abuse where he not only controls the money, but spends it all so they're broke. These are all tactics used by abusers in an attempt to control their partner and to ensure their partner will be totally dependent on them and won't leave. This is abuse.

Allison said something after the cell phone incident..."He doesn't expect the world to turn around him, he demands it". Yep, know some men like this. Like a booger you can't get rid of.

What I like about the format is that it shows that what we often used in the past as fodder for humor in our sitcoms is actually really terrible behavior, and that if it were really what you experienced in your life it would be hell. For example Ross on friends. He’s supposed to be the ideal love interest that we all want to champion, but in reality his behavior is really unhealthy and at times abusive toward Rachel and Monica, but it’s laughed off and accepted as “humor” instead of damaging to relationships. I love this platform, it’s a real thinker. I also love your theory about her using the sitcom mode as a coping mechanism.

I adore this show and am so glad to see someone praising and recommending it! Great video!

Just wait until you see the finale, if you haven’t already. This show is not playing around and I might be slightly obsessed!

i love that you like it, and i dare say the parts you don't quite get about it, are parts 'made for' women. women who have been living this double life through no choice of their own. taught to take the bare minimum and be thankful for it. the world is made for kevins and their comfort, with the person paying for it often being the alysons. i wasn't confused about the split filming at all, i've lived it for 27 years. I'd say the sitcom view isn't alyson's coping method, but how kevin frames his antics that she has no ability to challenge or reframe. why? because he's the main character and she's just the supporting character. in sitcoms, but also in this patriarical society. i come from an emotionally abusive family and literally every relationship in it looks like this one. the woman defers to the man and is always blamed for everything, whereas the man gets every benefit of the doubt, regardless of how harmful or malicious his actions were. the house revolves around his perspective and feelings, while everything else gets disregarded.

I have an alternate theory. That Kevin controls Sitcom World. Only time we ever see him in the real world is when Allison breaks a bottle. Only for one of the others to say something funny and bring it back. Yet it only becomes real world when he leaves the room. It switched briefly because he was shocked that his "perfect wife" would do something "unpleasant". She basically took control of the world for a brief moment.

Wow, I’m super shocked to see someone talking about this show but it makes me so happy. This show has been good and only gets better with each week!

"Worcester is an up and coming city." "No it's not." That definitely is WORCESTER. Allison captured the cyncial nature of Worcester perfectly here.

It's one story of a small town abusive relationship from two perspectives. Hers and his. He's just having fun and dealing with all her "issues" (never satisfied, always drama, amirite, guys?), while she's not allowed to drive (even though she's never had an accident, while he has), have friends of her own (even though his are always getting him into trouble), manage money (he wastes it on bad investments or dumb purchases) , go out of town without him calling the cops when she doesn't answer her phone, have a job of her choosing (because he gets an employee discount at the liquor store). Thank goodness they haven't had kids or she would be even more tied to this situation.

It may also be portrayed the way it is to have us reconsider the troupes in most sitcoms. The husbands in questions tend to be self-centered and stupid. I can't think of all of the times when I have checked into a sitcom just to wonder WHY these woman would be with these men. It is a question worth asking.

something about this show that really got me hooked was the split perception. I think it shows she masks for everyone around her but when she leaves the room she takes it off. I haven’t gotten to far but honestly I think it’s a good play on a sitcom and drama mix

Just finished the first season and to me, the sitcom _reality_ *is not* Allison's coping mechanism to the abuse she is clearly going through _but a place_ where Kevin is the Architect. And if we amplify this on a larger scale (perhaps global?) The sitcom world could easily be seen as an allegory of the patriarchal system *we all live in* because Kevin's dominance goes beyond his home since he had freedom to take the disgusting behavior he does at home _to public places,_ and to make the situation worse than it already is, Kevin gets nothing but praise and laughs for acting like that. The episode called "Fixed" did a great job showing this. As a woman I think it was brilliant to show how abusive relationships works, and how the patriarchal system enables and reinforces this all through the lens of a sitcom, because just as it happens in sitcoms, in modern society everything around women (opinions, dreams, safety) are often seen as something to laugh for, and to be humiliated for. All this so dudes like Kevin can enjoy a world that exist to please them at the expense of the women they destroy.

thought this referred to the movie "we need to talk about kevin" and was so confused. now im deep into a rabbithole about this show

I’m laughing because they actually finally re-did Kelley Square about a year ago, they turned it into a rotary because of the Woo-Sox. This seems cool, I’ll have to give it a watch!

DUDE, I have some thoughts about your sit-com theory! Looking at it as a coping mechanism makes a lot of sense for how I'd been looking at Kevin through this lens. That moment Kevin let some whack-job assist in interrogating his wife? Bone-chilling once removed from the sit-com context. My husband and I were freaking ourselves out over him saying that he "demands loyalty."

Given it occurs in the first episode, I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say she plots to kill him after the first episode. This fact is both explained by and explains the show as a response to Kevin Can Wait, specifically, as well as King of Queens and others in the sub genre. In Kevin Can Wait, the wife dies after the first season, and the characters apparently act like they don’t care and her life didn’t matter. The wife’s response of plotting to kill Kevin rather than just get a divorce only makes sense when understood as a response to this specific ‘incidental’ plot point in Kevin Can Wait, which apparently enraged KCFH’s creators into developing the idea for the series. (In real life it’s more common for the wife than the husband to initiate divorce proceedings, so this kind of marital dissatisfaction is common even if the solution is not!)

I like how many people take that old trope so seriously. I saw someone in the comments say "those sitcoms are what make women stay in abusive and horrible relationships." It doesn't make sense. The whole point of those sitcoms are to show a family so removed from reality they're entertaining but but real enough in some instances that the characters portray real life family values. In Married with Children the whole family is dysfunctional, not just Al. Same with King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, and so fourth. None of those characters are truly in line with reality. Sure, they have some realism in some aspects of their traits, but overall we shouldn't look to them for how to live life. The reason the families in those shows do work even though their so dysfunctional, is that they're written to fit together. Married with Children even has an episode in which I recall everyone in the family gets what they want finally. Al FINALLY gets everything he ever wanted. He gets a hot girl who wants him, he gets money, he gets all of it, and yet he feels more empty than he ever did because he realizes that what really gives meaning to his life is his family, with all their issues and quirks. I think this show is interesting and unique and I love the spin on it, but your analysis of that old school family man trope is a little exaggerated. We aren't supposed to look at these sitcom families that are dysfunctional and see them as real or imitate them. They're just there for entertainment with some lessons and morales sprinkled through, which you can take as you want. Don't substitute those shows for reality. We shouldn't be asking "if this character was a real person?" because they're not. Like I said they may be written with real life qualities but at the end of the day they're just characters. Homer Simpson is a character and of course if he was real no one would be able to deal with him, or Marge, or anyone in that family, and that's why they make good tv.

What a great video! As the other commenters have already mentioned, thank you for bringing more attention to this wonderful show! Maybe soon it'll finally get more of the attention it deserves, but seems that it's likely to be one of those that gets slept on for awhile until eventually people realize it exists and discover how well crafted & unique the show truly is. That said, I'm slightly worried it'll be slept on for slightly too long, resulting in a scenario where it's in discussions to be cancelled, and/or gets cancelled due to lower viewership, but I really hope not as would be devastating to lose another high quality show to lack of awareness.

Thank you so much for making this video! I'd never heard of this show and had no idea what this video would be about, but I paused at 0:42 because you'd sold me on it that fast! I immediately binged the whole season!

There's a movie called "We Need To Talk About Kevin" and the title of this video had me pretty confused since I didn't know about this show lol

Would love a follow-up essay on the final. Most reactions don't really seem to get what the show is going for.

This show actually made me grateful to have such an amazing father....he has a similar body type like kevin (but is less than him) but he uses being goofy and funny for good reasons...and he is really sensible and hopes I have a great future ahead and become independent and believe in myself. And people even respect him bc he is a good person genuinely and is hard working💞💞💞💞

I think you hit the nail on the head. I was a victim of DV and this is often how I would cope, coming up with a head-canon type reality to keep myself from having a complete breakdown.

Your voice is weirdly relaxing. Also I like your review of the show and characterization of Alison. She’s a really interesting character because of how she tries to take control of her life within a show built with sitcom tropes. Can’t wait for season 2!

So for this show, the premise is kind of if Family Guy were grounded in reality? Ouch. Everything is so much darker now.

Ahaha this title! I love the book "We Need to Talk About Kevin" and I thought this was going to be a video critiquing it :')

Well, maybe Kevin is worse in reality, but Sitcom Kevin is already extremely abusive : he took her money for school, he humiliates her daily, he never cares about her, he despises her, he lets his friends and dad insult her... isn't that enough ?

The coping thing has been my theory since the show started. I was sure they were going to show Kevin in the drama world and reveal him to be a total monster, but it looks like they won't go that route. My off the wall predictions for the finale are that Sam kills Kevin and Alison is pregnant with someone's baby.

only 800 subs?? your production value is on point, funny, sensitive, and insightful scripts, and no obnoxious gimmicks (/cough/ like heavy spoilers) - i subbed real fast. love what you're doing and excited to see more. i'm sure you're on the rise.

What a super cool video! Glad to see someone give this show some light and credit. Your breakdown and theorizing are top notch, and I'm totally on board with the underlying suspicion of an abusive Kevin. Especially after episode 7. Would just like to add, the performances by Annie Murphy and Mary Hollis Imboden are stellar in this show. Thanks for the great analysis.

The sitcom framing device is a metaphor - and a brilliant one at that. For most white cis men, they live in the world like they are the star. They are the main characters, everything works out for them, everything revolves around them. And because the man is the main character, the world is only shiny and perfect when he’s there, it doesn’t exist for Allison. Basically, men live in their own little worlds - where cooking, cleaning, bills, responsibility, consequences don’t exist. Two outside examples I can point to are the “mental labor” comic and the skit here on RU-vid about the “magic table”.

LmOoo Bostonian here. I was thinking that the WHOLE time about the diner. That is way too nice and large to be in Worcester.

My only problem is that from what I've seen of shows like King of Queens, which is like only a few episodes, the wife character is often shown to be irrational, controling, dishonest at times, and moody while Kevin James is dopey yet kind. That's probably just another problem of female stereotypes in media

I've been headcanoning the sitcom was Allison's delusion since day ONE, she dedicated her life to Kevin's sitcom of a life that her mind literally made it a sitcom, its only until now that she's really starting to break free. IF it is a delusion, it further proves how abusive Kevin is, because his wife has a clear mental psychosis that he's been ignoring for FIFTEEN years and hasn't noticed it because the world HAS to revolve around him in his mind.

"I'm auditioning Tom Brady look-a-likes for the PAH-DEE!"

Having lived in worcester as a college student, every time you go through Kelly Square you take your life in your hands. It's why the Vernon is right there, you need a drink.

Reminds me a bit of when, in 'Louie,' Louis CK's character is appearing in a sitcom and complains to the writers that his character is 'an asshole' to his wife. The writers are oblivious to the problem.

Im guessing it's intentional, but I love how the title is a reference to the movie we need to talk about Kevin. At first I thought they remade the movie with an older Kevin lol

I think we definitely have Mandela effects. I remember the show starting off with the name ""Kevin can GO fuxk himself "" and now it's called ""Kevin can fuxk himself "" They got rid of the GO".

I see the show the way you do. The progression of the show will be interesting to see unfold.

I noticed something right away in the living room area of the sitcom: it looks almost exactly like the living room from All in the Family, with the front door closet and staircase in the exact same position and color of wood. !! Wondering......

Thanks for introducing me to this show. It looks really cool.

So i have a theory, all characters gonna come to the reality version i mean outside from the sitcom world by the end of the season 2 finale. So far it's just two characters are left. Kevin and his father Pete

I watched the initial 2 minutes and gave up on it, thinking it was just another sitcom. Thankfully, I saw your video and saw it was more than I initially thought it would be! I'll continue it tonight. 😁

Great analysis. I don't know what to make of Sam (I think that's his name -- the guy she used to date with the diner). Is he supposed to be likeable or another narcissistic abuser? He's horrible to her. She's in distress and needs a friend so she goes to talk to him and he immediately makes it about him. "From my end you just came here to have someone nod their head and listen to you." Um ... yes? That's what friends do? I'm perplexed by what the writers are wanting me to feel about him. I just feel so badly for her. No one is nice to her.

I agree, more people need to see this.

Holy shit I saw this guy in the national tour of Shrek the musical and now I desperately need to watch this show

As someone who has lived in Boston their entire life, I can’t deal with the fake Boston accents. They are like nails on a chalkboard. I typically don’t even notice real Boston accents, but I can clock a fake one a mile away and they make my skin crawl.

Married with Children didn't belong on that lead in, completely subverts the loveable loser family sitcoms.

This show was my surprise hit of 2021!

I mean Kevin is a bunch of what other people in this comment section are calling him, but at the same time i feel like Allison's using him as a scapegoat for her own self-inflicted misery. Like he's no where near perfect, and i'm not saying she has to "settle" for something she doesn't want, but at the same time, Kevin does have some love and care for her to some modicum of truth, he's sorta not at all the best at displaying it, and he's wholly irresponsible, but he does wanna spend time with her, have "fun" with her by his own definition, share in stuff with her, and is fully willing to defend her and be in danger for her. He's an idiot, and he's irresponsible, and in ways he is selfish, but he's no where near as selfish, irresponsible, and idiotic as Allison. I know it's not as easy as just saying "Oh she should leave him" but she truly makes no attempt to talk or convey her true thoughts emotions and desires to the guy, as if doing so isn't even worth it which is just self sabotage for herself. She will literally let her resentment raise within her to the point of PLANNING HIS MURDER. Like i get that he's a doofus people but she's like, fucking horrifyingly terrible as just like...A presence. She's weirdly poisonous in the show to any and all she attempts to interact with.

I think you're totally missing the point of the show, and I really don't think you need to be a woman to recognize it. Sitcoms typically sensationalize harmful behaviours and ideologies, including misogyny and heteronormativity. These shows not only reproduce such harmful things, but contribute to them by creating narratives that allow husbands to get away with harm under the veil of charming, superficial humour. Kevin Can F Himself dramatizes real situations of misogyny and heteronormativity by showing the two worlds that Kevin and Allison live in - Kevin sees his life as an american family sitcom where he doesn't have to take any real responsibility for his harmful behaviours, and Allison lives in a more realistic drama where she has reached her breaking point with Kevin's crap. Ultimately, the show comments on the actual reality that there are many men who live like Kevin, see american family sitcoms or shows like Family Guy, and feel validated by them and then end up living according to their beer-loving-man-can-do-no-wrong narratives, regardless of the harm it *causes*. Yes, Allison struggles with mental health issues, but just as much as anyone experiencing abuse would. The tendency to assume the woman is mentally ill - pinning the source of harm on her - rather than look at the actual environmental factors that contribute to her mental state *is part of the problem*, which is the whole reason the writers added that joke to the sitcom portion of the show! When the Kevins of the world blow all of their family's savings on sports memorabilia and their wives respond with anger, calling the wife mentally ill is textbook gaslighting. I am 100% serious. I highly recommend that you review at least that part of this video, because I truly believe that questioning Allison's mental state in the way you have is contributing to problematic discourse, and I really don't think you meant that.

Was honestly thinking your were talking about the movie “we need to talk about Kevin” when i read the title

I am From Boston so that Is So Cool To see a Dunkin so I figured it was in Massachusetts

I haven't watched it yet but based on your review, I look forward to it. Nice job on your video. Well done. I'm subscribing.

I love this show because I HATE all the 'Kevin' types in sitcoms.

As close to a Stanley Kubrick show we will ever get! I don't care what kind of person you are,, you have to see Kevin as a narcissistic sociopath that is always getting his ego fed so that he never comes down!

The "Well I had a great run in New England..." bit gets me every time

Your diagram of Kelly Square 😂😂😂

I love this. I think it’s clever & twisty. I don’t know anyone watching it? Thank you for your praise.

Married with Children did not have a laugh track, it was filmed before a live studio audience.

Fantastic show....love it!

Great video! I just started this show the other day and I’m excited to see how they’re gonna turn these tropes on their head. Definitely subbed! 🙌

I just watched the finale and I've done whole 180 on Alison.

The stereotype was always the man is the dope and the woman is the voice of reason.

Mick Foley: 'Tonight...in Worcester, Massachusetts.'

Season two is GREAT

Man I swear to god I think I dreamt of this exact show with the exact sweater Allison wears, back in 2016. Freaks me out.

AMC had a show called into the badlands (was really good) that was cancelled after only few seasons ,..but one about zombies walking around goes on forever? maybe I'm just not into tv much anymore but this Kevin show should have been called ,.." an excuse to look at annie murphy"

Bold of you to straight up call Woostah a "crappy little city," as I'd never be bold enough to call it out like that hahaha

You saw the first episode where he kept brow beating her about the damn table when really the discussion should be she wants it treated well and it’s not that hard not to you and you don’t think he’s abusive? Kevin’s worst attribute is he clearly thinks or warps reality to be in a sitcom setting but doesn’t have any of the learning moments a lot of sitcom husbands he borrows from has. Like, Ralph Kramden aka the original sitcom husband, would never fuck up as much as Kevin does without trying to change his behavior or recognizing he did wrong.

Did anybody get the ending of the show's first season? I didn't realize it was the finale until today when I was wondering when the next episode was coming lol. I wanted to see Kevin outside of the sitcom light for the last second of that episode but whateva

To me problem with your theory is that Kevin is pictured by himself in this exact same way, when Allison is not in the room. That being said I don't really have a good working theory for this either. Also Patty who is part of the Kevin friend group but isn't always in the sitcom style. Of course there's other stuff with Patty and that complicates that I don't want to get into.

great title because i wasn't sure if this was about the we need to talk about kevin movie 🤪

I love this show. Many people don’t like this show but I never seen this as it’s like one of a kind.

I'd argue that the 'drama' part of the show (and as a genre itself, tbh) isn't any more realistic than a sit-com. It's just more dramatic and angsty.

Looks like a subtle new take on the creepiness of everyday life. I'll never have time to see it, but it does look interesting.

This is fun having watched the entire series. A revisit is in order I dare say.

I love this show! Genius idea 💡😂😩

This is a pretty brilliant idea for a show.

Annie Murphey is amazing, but I really wanted to love the show more. Wandavision and Mr Robot had a similar idea, to deconstruct family comedies as a coping mechanism for grief and I think the big difference was 1/2 hour felt about right for Wandavision and I really feel the 44 minutes in Kevin can F--K Himself. It really feels like 2 different shows and I just don't feel the connection between the halves of the show.

I don’t get how ppl don’t get this show it’s so good

The only show that I’ve ever seen have both the generally fat husband and hot wife done correctly was King of Queens

I really loved this show, I watched it with my mum and it holds a pretty special place in my life in its short run so far.

Is this show about a Woman who is being abused and We only see her as the nagging wife who deserves it?

I really love the concept but I feel like it could of been executed just a little better and the ending was cool but kinda underwhelming at the same time but overall I liked it and love the concept

As someone who is from Worcester England, it’s so weird to hear the name of a town that even other English people often haven’t heard of, said so much.

Love this show funny and dark 😊

I LOVED the first two episodes. I need to go back and watch the rest

Theyve been fimling a bunch of scenes out here in Brockton

This show was a show of SUFFERING. This is whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy divorce was invented so there would be less murders within marriages. I had to fast forward because her suffering was too damn awful. ALL SHE NEEDS IS A DIVORCE BEFORE THERE IS A BABY. Girl, 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️ *RUUUUUUUUUN, RUN, RUN*

Was I the only one who clicked on this video thinking it was about the movie, “We need to talk about Kevin”

Solid video, keep it up