Wednesday's Therapist - Wednesday Gets Therapized 

True. All the"Wednesday"reactors I've seen were like:"Eeww.Creepy/suspicious.X-S"when they found out Kinbott's hobby,while all I thought when I saw it was:"I bet Wednesday would like this!Why don't you tell her?You could finally bond,perhaps!😆You just need to make your compositions a bit darker...😉"Now that I think about it,they might not have agreed on that hobby either because Kinbott was all about happy Polly Pocket kind of scenarios while Wednesday is more the"Mighty Max"type....😉💀

@@Nicamon The only thing I thought was "that explains a lot, like why she doesn't seem phased by the 'outcasts' at all."

True, but I don't think Kimbot would ever have opened up about her hobby because she kept hobby hidden behind a closed door. Wednesday, one the other hand, desn't hide her creepiness - she wears it like a badge of honor and doesn't care what anybody thinks about it.

it's kinbott..

It was the same for me lol

The therapist that my kids had so many games for them to play. Their dad is a narcissistic abusive alcoholic. The sessions are probably why the one loves chess so much

they sound like a great therapist

I also went to a therapist who played games with me, but in the end they said that I wasn't getting anything out of it and so I wasn't to come back anymore. I didn't have any friends so it was a bit sad, I was always happy to play and then I had no one to play with anymore again. I have since been told I "present well", especially to older people, and that I'm on the autism spectrum xD

oh, that's.. sad

Exactly! That's what I was thinking all the time as well. She's soo bad with boundaries and respecting Wensday's privacy, what response she did expect other than leaving through the window?😁

@@walkingwith_dinosaurs Big Nurse Ratched energy there. “Your mother told me…” strikes me as similar to someone letting her read her writing.

yep!

In her defense, it was as part of Wednesday's psych evaluation which was court-mandated, so this wasn't a regular patient-therapist situation, there was always gonna be some level of enforcement involved. They also skipped a lot of steps bc of story pacing, there was a point that needed to be made in this episode and with very little time for the therapy sequence so they made the therapist cut to the chase.

She had a chance of connecting to Wednesday by bringing up her taxidermy, Wednesday would love that.

i had a very similar experience, i was ranting for most of my first session about not wanting to make amends with family that hurt me. and at the end of the session my therapist pointed out that i described myself as "a hypocrite" everytime i talked about going no contact, because i felt like they needed my help bc they were going thru stuff too. and she pointed out that "its not hypocritical to want to protect yourself from harm, especially from people who have proven that they can in the past" huge weight off my shoulders, like yes those family members clearly need help, but it doesnt have to be from me, and im not a bad person for not wanting to help ppl that hurt me.

I had similar experience with my therapist. I was lucky because my brother went to her first, and after his 1st or 2nd visit my dad had a brilliant idea that we all should go (separately). So, she spoke with my brother and dad (mom's dead) and then spoke to me. I knew I needed therapy since I was 16. I was ~24/25? She listened to me for the whole hour and at the end she said that I present stuff like I wanted to make everything seem ok, and if I continue this way I'll never be happy. It was such a shock because all I wanted was to stop feeling so miserable all the time. I'm not fully healed (to my liking 😃) yet, but after 7 or 8 years of therapy I'm well enough that I stopped.

That's a good therapist. One question. Boom. My favorite therapist in the world, the one who brought me back and helped me untangle old trauma did the same exact thing. Asked one question, then sat back and watched my brain explode.

Yeah, this is what I commented as well. It bothered me he didn't see this, but, he also probably didn't understand that context.

That feels already like secrets and conspiracies against you before even getting there.

I work with clients in a specialized program in prison and I feel something similar happens there. Except instead of private writings, it is their criminal case that we already have access to. And we have specific goals from the court we have to work towards. I can see this in Wednesday’s sessions too, as she is court mandated instead of seeking out help herself. We often have to work with building a therapeutic alliance, which I would say is the matching he talked about, while also helping the clients findfind their motivation and goals within the limits of what they’re in therapy for.

Agreed. If they were published, or she'd given her permission, it would be different, but this feels weirdly invasive.

Had a very similar experience growing up and it sucked very bad. I worked my way through pretty much every local therapist and none of them could actually do a decent job. How difficult could it be to talk to a child like a human and not a dog with an injured paw. I actually had one therapist break down and cry because she wasn't making any headway with me and that was just like.... Come on, who's the damned therapist here?!

@@Lyrazel I’m sorry for what you went through. It shouldn’t be that hard to take someone seriously. The therapist breaking down is, to be honest, unprofessional and something that almost sounds like an attempt at manipulation (though I don’t know you or your story in a way that makes it okay for me to accuse the therapist of being manipulative. It was more of a thought based on what little you shared). I hope that you found a decent therapist eventually

I'm glad you found someone that you are comfortable with. It can be so hard to open up to someone. I'm just sorry you had to go so long before you found them

I love that your last therapist let you write stuff to her. I have always communicated better through writing. It gives me time and space to really *think* about what I'm trying to convey. I have the ability to do a rough draft and rewrite and tweak the language so i can say *exactly* what I mean without having to try to take back something that came out "wrong" - which was a problem I had a lot when I was younger. As an adult I learned I have adhd and autism and I would often blurt out thoughts as they occurred to me and I learned very quickly that people dont like to hear my unedited thoughts. I'm often blunt and to the point or make snap jump conclusions that often dont make sense to someone outside my own head, because they couldnt follow my sideways logic and I'm often perceptive of littlenthingsbthey dont notice, that inform those conclusions. And people take that negatively. But sometimes I also need a lot of time to *really* process what I'm feeling and translate that into words. I have a hard time identifying emotions and where they come from and *why* I feel them. And writing gives me the ability to do all of that. Where as in person, my brain often shuts down in social situations because I get so anxious about doing or saying or looking wrong. And sometimes I get so overwhelmed by that that nothing else can exist in my head. I might be trying to explain the how / why I feel about one thing, but the pressure of doing social things the Right Way overrides anything else and all I know is that I'm *uncomfy* and I cant untangle the two. Doubly worse if the emotions are similar. Like talking to my boss about how a coworker makes me feel unsafe. But the anxiety of reporting someone, of talking to my boss, of not being believed, of thinking I'm over analyzing, of thinking I'm overreacting, of being sure to present the *facts* as truthfully as I can, of being accused of lying, of making sure I present as NT as possibly so as not to look suspicious like im lying, of making eye contact but not too much, of modulating my speech to not be too emotional but also not robotic and therefore unsympathetizable, of making sure I dont have RBF or blank face, and then add in all the other ND problems like the clothes and lights and colors and movement in the space and fidgety bits. And words fail me. Because I cant pick apart my discomfort from the situation I'm in from the discomfort of the situation I'm talking about. Anyway. I've been thinking about getting into therapy and I hope I find one who will gladly accept writing as a heavy form of communication between us.

Insulting someone's intelligence is the FASTEST way to lose any chance of opening them up. It's degrading, and it's not what we are in therapy to experience.

What is potpourri?

@@33pandagamer The simple answer is dried, fragrant plant material, but there's more that goes into it than just drying plants. Its existence spans back to ancient times, and used to consist of edible plants including mostly herbs, and spices, but "aesthetic" varieties have existed for as long as the dish has in which perfumes are added and "scent fixatives" which help the dried material slow release their scents over prolonged periods. These days a lot of the materials used to make potpourri are really just interested in being a slow-release perfume for residential rooms, so they're made out of many inedible materials including synthetic chemicals to act like a diffuser.

Yeah except modern potpourri is crusted in all kinds of fragrances and tastes like shit. I say this because my dumb child ass ate some and was sorely disappointed. Never again. Looks delicious, is NOT FOOD. Now, fruit chips, you bet. I love dried fruit. Just... fruit. Not the cancer dust that smells pretty.

@@DefconDelta88 Haha, oh that sounds like an utterly terrible childhood lesson. I love your description of it, though. And yes, fruit chips are awesome!

@@OlyChickenGuy At least I never ate the foam fruit at IKEA. 🤣

They made Kinbott highly incompetent on purpose to make her look suspicious. At the end of the day she was just *incredibly bad* at her job.😅Which is why I LAUGHED when Wednesday defined her"highly qualified"or something like that...🤣girl..she's literally *the worst therapist ever!!*

@@Nicamon right behind you on that!!! 😂

@@Nicamon She reminds me of school psychologists, tbh. They’re the psychologist equivalent of “those who can’t do, teach.”

@@BeeWhistler Ouch!!X-S I hope they're not _all_ like that. I don't think my schools have ever had psychologists in them,but if a school _has_ one,it better be good,since (s)he has to deal with kids or teenagers...

@@BeeWhistler school counselors suck so much, they dont know how to do their job at all. tbh being a therapist doesn't just require the degree it also requires a certain kind of skillset and way of seeing things

I get what you mean. I have Social Anxiety, and not meny people seem to get it. People think that I'm just shy, or that I hate people, but that's not the case at all. The thing is, people with social anxiety have an irrational fear of being judged, that they'll say something wrong or say it in the wrong tone, that they'll make a mistake and be forever outcasted because of that. So when someone walks up to me and initiates a conversation with me, I freeze. I want to talk, I want to say something, but I can't, the words just won't come out. And so I get branded as the loner quite kid, and my teacher either think I'm really shy or that I hate them for some reason, all because I don't talk. The worst part is that I can't even correct them. It's hard to talk when I'm calm, it's even harder to talk when I emotional.

​@@33pandagamer I have literally been teaching my kids Valyrian, just to avoid using any known languages in front of others. There is no help for me, only solitude from the world. 😂

That’s not just a bad therapist, he’s a crap person too. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I’m happy it sounds like your new therapist is a lot better

He's clearly a quack. I'm not trained and even I know that's not right. It's like calling the creator of Michelangelo childish, I believe it was Davinci but idk, idc, art isn't my thing. I'm glad your mom was onto him and supported you going to therapy.

Damn, that's pretty cold-hearted.

GUESS YA GOTTA BE ILLERATE TO BECOME AN ADULT! Man... YEARS wasted in English learning grammar when I was supposed to have no reading skills at all! "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!" "... How can I do that? I don't have bootstraps-" "PULL YOURSELF UP BY YOUR BOOTSTRAPS!"

@@astraamarante6233 Lol... my thoughts exactly. Since when is reading a bad thing? I thought reading improved language and communication skills, guess I was wrong. But seriously, he was ridiculous, he genuinely believe art of any kind was childish.

The first mistake for a therapist is to "take charge" with someone smart enough to know some basics in analyzing things and people.

@@MildarValsik I’m not a therapist, but I do work with kids so sometimes I have to be in problem solving mode. I’m guessing therapist has to do that sometimes. However I don’t think I’d follow Kimbot’s way of doing things because toxic positivity is wrong‼

@@grodriguez7225 i suspect many wouldn't. It be a very bad use of a talent. However I think in the show the character wasn't a therapist. More like a hired hand to investigate Wednesday under the hidden identity for the gain she seeked.

@@MildarValsik Maybe Kimbot could be a private investigator?! However that means she would be doing double work to not only understand Wednesday, give her advice, but also keep an eye on her. Again I know very little about being a therapist or being a private investigator for that matter.

You too have a nice day, week, year and life

Try not to mask your neurodivergence too much, even for uni, else you'll just burn out, like I have :/

Try not to force yourself to look people in the eyes if it makes you uncomfy, why should you have to make yourself uncomfortable for their own comfort, why should you have to alter your natural behaviours just because they perceive them as disrespectful and apply their own skewed meanings onto it. You deserve better.

I relate quite a bit especially to the beginning though I have A.D.D. I studied many years in a school that apparently specialized in noticing adhd and autism in students but no one noticed anything in me even though I had big problems due to ADD throughout my time in that school. I also went to therapy for many years and none of the therapists ever noticed anything. Then at one point the therapists had to make their clients do some adhd and autism tests (on paper) so I just filled in the file. The therapist went through it and then just looked at me like "...Oh...". I got diagnosed soon after that.

Yeah the major problem is, therapy is made for and by Neurotypical people, so it really doesn't work for anyone who isn't. Unless the therapist is willing to throw what they've learnt out of the window and create a new approach with their ND client. Which very few of them are.

As a kid I was really good at getting therapists to talk about themselves. It took a long time to find a therapist that matched me, and could get me to open up.

Dang, that's tough. I can relate to the sensory issues. It sucks. I hope you're able to get the diagnosis/accomodations you need. It's a hard place to be, hang on I believe in you

true. Sometimes in the sessions with my psychiatrist, we talk about books or shows or song-texts, and it makes sense. I f they speak to me enough that I feel like mentioning them in therapy, it is because something about them targets me, and that is worth talking about. One example which I could always pin on my depression is the bit "I find it kind of funny - I find it kind of sad - the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" from "Mad World" by Michael Andrews. In fact the whole song is quite depressing... but I really have said dreams on a regular basis, and the lyrics nail my feelings.

Mad World is one of my favorite songs of all time. I also find a lot of songs by Citizen Soldier really speak to me as well as someone who used to be a cutter and suicidal back in my teens. I highly recommend Citizen Soldier's music.

Absolutely. It's a great way to establish trust and understanding.

Amen! For the people in the back!!!!

Oh, absolutely! I was an only child in a military family that moved every three years at least, and never had any close friends. I also was a voracious reader, especially of science fiction and fantasy, I would connect much better talking about books, both fictional and about history.

She told Wednesday that it was send to her from the previous therapist

@@12412...yeah but she could have not read them right away. Give Wednesday a choice. It was clearly a wrong thing to do for Wednesday.

@@kay-jay1581 I'm not disputing that it was wrong. Meredith says that she doesnt know where the docor got the manuscript, I'm just clearing that up

The fact that Enid was a way better therapist than the therapist and she ain't even trying 😭

@mangantasy I'm so glad you found someone who respected you and looked at your whole situation instead of just focusing on your weight. I don't know a lot about eating disorders, but from the bits I've seen on tv etc, it seems like the disordered eating is a form of self-medication, a bit like an alcoholic drinks to numb the pain or forget, people with an eating disorder are often seeking control because they've had a life event that has made them feel as if they have no control. Am I on the right track? I really hope you stay in a good place!!

@@sherrijennings9309 thank you very much for your kind words. And yes, control played a big role for me too, as in most of the fellow patients I met in various institutions. My mother was extremely strict and I had very little freedom in any aspect of my life. Many more aspects that partly changed over time. For example being early on also "cheap" because after my mother left my father with us two girls (I have an older sister) money was a big issue, and the less I ate the more I could "help" in that. And you're absolutely right too in the suspicion that the troubled eating somehow helps to cope with other issues. Another point my psychiatrist fully understands: that although it is of course a problem, it still helped me back then and somehow until today. I've been living with it for so longer, actually longer than without, that I can't even imagine myself without it. It's complicated.

@@sherrijennings9309 It can definitely vary, but what all eating disorders have in common is that there's always something underlying. It's not about the weight, the eating, the binging, it's about something below all that, which manifests in our eating disorders. It's an unhealthy coping tool. I personally feel like the reason increasing our weight is so focused on with anorexia is because it's killing us slowly, and so the idea is that treatment needs to focus on stabilizing our body's health so that we can work on stabilizing our mind's health. I'm not a professional, so I don't know if that's accurate, just my impression from being on the other end of things.

It was a relief to me when I found a name for my eating disorder, even though it was "EDNOS" (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). I finally had an explanation why I didn't seem to match what I was reading about other eating disorders and why treatments felt like such a bad fit - it's because they were a bad fit. That's when I really started making progress in healing.

@@runnerfrog13 I feel you. It's surprising how much a diagnose/having a name for the issue that is troubling you can be of comfort. PLUS of course it can be the first step for better treatment. What always helps me soo so much is that you can name your issue when for example you and up in hospital and have to explain yoursaelf. So much time saved when you have a name for tha madness that your condition might be. I felt this e.g. a lot with my AvPD, because trying to describe all the sympltoms and daily challenges linked to it just take so much energy. I hope that you can continue healing.

I am sorry you got taken advantage of as a gifted student.

From this description my suspicion would be that the Therapist's daughters' dream was actually the Therapist's dream for her daughter and her daughter gave up her art interests to please her mother, I highly doubt the Therapist would be able to hide her distain for her daughters art interests.

You sound like my daughter. When she started therapy at age 12 she mentioned that she loved art and wanted to be an artist, and one of the things she loved the most was Japanese anime. The therapist told her “to stop liking it” because she would not be able to “fit in” with others because it was not mainstream! My daughter told me this while I was driving, and I almost crashed the car. Never went back there again. I told my daughter that I would look for another therapist if she wanted to, but she said not to bother. Of course, a lot of her friends in HS turned out to love anime too, and today a lot of people are into it, so the therapist’s prediction did not come true. 😂

@@favforsue so happy that your daughter found her place too

Wedneday's detective interests, and fascination with true crime feel very much like autistic special interests too

I agree with this. Other than the obvious time constraints and dramatization of a TV show, Kinbot struck me as a very gutsy, intelligent character from the get-go. She'd clearly done a lot of work to try to understand Wednesday's case, which undoubtedly included knowing a lot of dark things about the girl. For Kinbot to have agreed to take on the girl (and not...a school therapist? psychologist? I mean, seriously any normal boarding school would have one, and DEFINITELY several in a school for "outcasts"!) is a brave move, in my books. Kinbot also embodied a lot of the character reactions from the original TV show, without ever actually running away --- but actually attempting to face it. Within the universe, she's pretty remarkable. My guess is she might have been a bit sleep deprived and in shock from all of the research and stumbling through Wednesday's three books as well as her files.

So many things she does are extremely against ethical guidelines for therapists. Wednesday is very much fighting back, and it's a horrible idea to worsen this adverserial relationship. Making it clear that these sessions are there for her to express herself first and foremost would at least have been better than this clusterfuck. Going to a therapist for the first time should be about getting to know each other and adjusting, not about letting the patient know that you have read every single unpublished thing they have written and that you already have preconceptions about what the Client is like and what they are dealing with based on fictional things. It's also true that writing can reflect parts of our experience, but just because I like writing about political intruige and adoption doesn't mean that I am in favour of the position the characters hold or have any true relationship towards adoption or a bad relationship with my parents. Kimbott is really just being a shitty therapist, no matter how you look at it.

If she knows that Wednesday can smell BS, why does she BS her?