WEEKLY VLOG| Not Being Able To Trust My Own Eyes, My Journey To Fit 

Ive been a fan of yours since I first saw you in Nikki bs videos and I just instantly thought you were super cool, authentic and funny and I can tell you that you have made incredible progress. You’ve always been gorgeous but you definitely have lost a lot of weight and gotten very strong and fit and it shows. Do not doubt that. Pictures and videos aside even just your physical feats, the athleticism you possess is a major victory.

I lost 80 pounds a couple years ago, and I felt like I looked no different lol. It’s in your mind, because you see yourself every day. But if you asked someone who hasn’t seen you for a few months? They will notice a huge difference. You look absolutely amazing by the way !

I had a breast reduction 8 months ago. It changed my life and helped my body dysmorphia tremendously! You look great!

Your face is gorgeous !!!!!!! please please don’t start thinking your face needs to change

I love how you share your feelings about your journey. I have been following you a long time. I absolutely love that you do all types of workouts including gymnastics and calisthenics. I never would have thought of doing those types of workouts. You look great keep Going.

Girl I feel you! I went from 197-144 in a span of years thru yo-yoing. Finally these last few years of strength training and better eating I’ve gotten to my lowest weight but i keep feeling like my body should be Bodying at this point 😂 I’m also at a point in my fitness journey where I don’t know how much of my body is fat or loose skin as well. body dysmorphia is real but you have to keep going and acknowledge the results big or small everyday!!!!keep it up girl❤❤❤❤

The brown boots have a platform bottom so the heel is actually shorter than the black boot. Also it makes it so its more comfortable on your toes. Loved the vlog. ❤ You've made so much progress with your handstands!

I have been catching up, watching videos out of order and usually a pretty silent watcher. I just wanted to let you know that you are def not alone! I have lost maybe like 30 lbs and I see nothing. Like I feel and seem the same to me but I am affirmed by my long distance relatives and my friends sometimes. It's what I latch onto until I can see a non scale victory. Just know that watching just maybe the last 3 vlogs out of order in that short time, I see amazing progress. I just saw you practicing round offs when I KNOW I also just saw you doing flips and handstands and running 10k. It's amazing what all your hard work and a little bit of time has done! You're great. Definitely inspiring for me. 🙋🏾‍♀️ big boob fitness girly club representative here. I see how strong we are, but we have to strengthen our minds to know it. And hopefully see the progress in ourselves. All things in time.

I'm a silent viewer But Your Are Absolutely Amazing and inspirational. The back flips and hand stand alone.But your unique and beautiful essence always shines through. Also you are fit,all of your beautful ancestors survived plauge,famine,wars and finding the right person to procreat with.never dounb how perfect you are,health is wealth and we are all brain washed to think a look is health.

Good morning from Austin, TX thank you for talking about this subject. After leaving the military and my weight loss journey, I realized being in that career is not healthy for people. It required you to meet body weight standards to keep your job, which makes you do harm to your body to accomplish the goals. Thanks

Ashley, I am with you, I lost 169 pounds, I have loose skin, and genetic , I don't have any weight to lose, but the loose skin fupa genetics my trainer told me to cut down on cardio and only do that 1 times a week, life 4 times , because he told me , people want that weight loss on scale , but you are loosing muscle and that is why the scale is going down a lot, the trainer said you want less scale loss and more fat loss, by gaining muscles. Which will also boost metabolism.

Ebin wig spray is amazing!! And they're releasing a sports line for active girls!🎉🎉 Also the black boots dont have a platform at the front like the other boots and your feet will tilt more so that could be the slight difference!

First of all, I love your content! It's so inspirational. This video hits home for me. I started at 209lbs, and I've lost 45lbs. I still see myself as big. I'm even scared to buy more clothes with the fear of gaining it back. People say I look leaner, but I still feel big. Anyway, we have to keep pushing :)

Not sure if you ever considered working with a professional regarding your body dysmorphia if not I highly recommend it. I'm learning that what I thought fit looked like was really skinny and their is a difference between being skinny and fit. I went on a fitness journey over 15 years ago and got really fit like placing in triathlons fit yet my body still looked chunky compared to my peers. Then I added CrossFit on top of tri training which meant I was working out intensely 3-4hrs every day and eating less than 1600 Cals yet I still looked chunky compared to my peers. Since I started working with a therapist and dietician that specializes in disordered eating, over working out and body dysmorphia it helped me realized I can be fit but I will never look "skinny". I'm a 5'1 150lb endomorph so the more I workout the "thicker" I will become and if I don't work out I just end up obese (220lbs+). There is no realistic diet or workout routine that will make me look skinny. I know rely on other things to counter those invasive lies like clothing size. When I see a picture and I look "chunky" I go pull the clothes from my closet see its a size small or 6 which is not chunky. This is why I think its important for people who are on fitness journeys to buy smaller clothes as you loose weight vs waiting until all the weight is gone to buy smaller clothes. Smaller sizes in your closet is a great visual indicator especially if you have the body type that does not appear smaller on camera.

Id love to see you do a tutorial like video on how you do your French braids. You doing it without a mirror shocked me!

I unserstand the feeling and how frustrating it can be. I would say that after my breast reduction, I felt like I looked and felt a lot smaller so I feel that it would probably make you feel a lot better afterwards. On a side note, I really wish we had adult gymnastics where I live.

Ashley, I hope you see this. You’re the epitome of inspiration and determination and that whole look and feel awesome. You know the way that you want to. it comes and it goes. I’m skinny and there’s days that I feel fit and awesome and then there’s days that I just wanna crawl under a rock.lol so don’t let it get to you and don’t worry just keep keep going just keep going. And as for your face, there’s a major change you look skinnier. You look awesome. when you’re looking at yourself. It’s hard to see all the changes. you are more critical about yourself than anyone else is ever gonna be. Your change is here ❤

Hey girl🎉 I enjoy all your videos. All the way from South Africa

The way I have been nodding along to this entire video! I’m on a very similar journey to you (54 lbs down, 50 to go) and I keep sending my sister pictures of myself saying “is this what I look like?” Body dysmorphia is wild and not something I was prepared for. If there’s any way we can support you, let us know! We see the changes and support your future ones you want to see🤍

Wow girl! Your body recomposition is impressive 👏🏻🎉 I think once you're ready for your breast reduction and do it, you'll be able to see it a lot more yourself. But regardless, you've had really noticeable changes. And most importantly, you're healthier and stronger 💪🏻✨️

Your handstand is looking better and better!

I relate hard to when my clothes are fitting looser/better than they have before but every time I see a picture of myself or me on camera the doubts creep in about how much further I still have to go. It feels like a constant struggle

Girl you are NOT a wimp for not wanting to be in pain wearing those heels lol. One thing I noticed after gaining roughly 25lbs was how PAINFUL it became to wear heels. And I’ still wear them but now my feet swell, my knees ache, and I feel like I’m gonna break the heel off from being so heavy lmao

Don't let the body dysmorphia get you down. You look so dang good! I feel like that picture 1) That shirt wasn't the most flattering. 2) You look like you could work on posture. I have an issue with my traps creeping up towards my ears and it makes me look so much bigger than I am. It also makes my neck and sides of my face hold water and look thicker than I usually am. Maybe try gua sha face massage and work on the posture thing. You are doing and looking great! We are our own toughest critics.

OMG I can relate to what you say at 10:20. I used to think it was just me. When the outside doesn't match the inside it can feel so frustrating!

Ashley! That was definitely a bad camera angle. We’ve all gone through the same thing, trust me. I think it’s the constant bombardment of people we see online and we assume we need to look like that in our gym clothes when realistically we are different heights and body types. Give yourself grace! We can do it 💪

Its so great that you practice your handstands regularly, its just a skill that you will learn. That being said, there are so many you tube channels that show progressive exercises to help you. The one on one class that you had, while helpful, you could have seen what feedback she was giving you by just watching some videos.

You should get the ebin lace spray! It's an easier application and it's also easy to take off! ❤

You are looking great and are a total badass. Keep it up! I've been enjoying your videos. Very inspiring and fun!

And I ALWAYS look forward to your vlogs xo

When I was my smallest I thought I was still big. Now that I’ve gained weight again and look back, I was tiny. Body dysmorphia is real

That second pair of heels is also gonna feel taller bc it doesn't have a 'stacked toe' like the first pair- stacked toes are easier bc it decreases the angle your foot is at- both are cute, congrats on the success!

You look amazing. I feel like you look really good, if you lose too much might not be flattering? If you tone up now gonna be fire! 🔥 I love how vulnerable you always are on showing everything about yourself.

This video really resonated with me in so many ways. You’re so awesome and I’m loving the vlogs. Keep motivating on this fitness journey cause you totally rock sis!! ❤❤

Your vlogs are my comfort vids girl ❤

❤❤❤Omg the progress when u showed the shirt side by side

ok, miss. from an old(er) lady and one who has battled body dysmorphia for forever, a couple things … i see you. i also know that what you see isnt what i see and thats fine. but. you will benefit from the internal work that recognizes you are absolutely beautiful and worthy at any size. because regardless of how much exterior change happens, if you dont know that (like, in your guts) it wont matter. and, i’m sorry but you are doing freaking gymnastics and running and weight training … YOU are healthy. i am not sure about your definition but i see an absolute picture of health when i look at you. dont minimize all that you have already achieved! you have given yourself so much life back. and us! start trusting in that ashley! 🫶🫶

You are so beautiful girlll and can really see your weight loss in your face too 🙏🏾💖 God bless you as you continue in your health journey x

You are definitely shrinking!!!!!

Lookin good ms Ashley 😊

You definitely inspired me to start calisthenics! I'm starting the Caroline Girvan 5 day to see where I'm at :)

I get your frustration espefialoy documenting your journey online but the nsv are great to see/hear. Your fitness and health does show alot!

12:33 I loooooove that anime😍

The difference between the two heels is the platform. Platforms are more comfortable because the difference between the height of the heel and the toe is not as drastic. Less weight on your arch and the ball of your foot. They also tend to be sturdier because they often have a chunkier heel. Also, I follow you on all platforms, you look fantastic 👏🏿.

One thing I learned it doesn't feel like it but you look like it gurl! Get it! 💯😁 1:03

What kind of headphones do you use during your workouts? I'm currently searching for some that are noise-cancelling and would work for jogging. Also I love gymnastics! Haven't done that in years, great way to make fitness fun.

I’ve been to ask, what type of bra do you wear for running. I’ve not found any bras that are good for me. So I end wearing my normal bras and they always cut me after running.

I been watching your journey and you have motivated me to lose weight. I sometimes feel like I haven't did enough but others complement me. You look a lot smaller so don't give up. You don't really do like you need to drop anymore weight but just maintain

💪🏻

Ashley, why would you want weight off your cheeks, I am trying to get fillers to get your cheeks. When your face starts to fall , you are going to look back and say what was I thinking, wanting less fat on face. You face and hair most people want , gorgeous.

You do look good, it’s just your boobs are so big, they take over, once you get the breast reduction, you’re gonna feel so much better! ❤

Get the surgery if it’ll make you feel better. Nothing wrong with that imo.

Maybe you should unpack some of this with a therapist. There was a lot of “should” talk and comparison in this video which was disheartening to hear because you’ve come so far in your health journey. Fitness and consistency has come up but body positivity seems to have gone down 😢