What’s The Narcissist Thought Process in An Intimate Relationship - (Short Term Part 1)

Подписаться 94 тыс.

Просмотров 29 тыс.

50% 1

It’s impossible to have a relationship with a narcissist as their thought process has total tunnel vision with no possibility of introspection. You can never satisfy them and will always cause a narcissistic injury without being aware you’ve done anything wrong, because of their disordered thinking. They see your boundaries in a relationship as being a sure sign you don’t love them.
PODCAST Form:
open.spotify.com/show/4QSyLHD...
Coaching Enquiries - narcscon@gmail.com
Channel Support - www.PayPal.me/narcscon

Опубликовано:

2 сен 2022

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 306

@goldilocks3593 Год назад

I know it is really, really hard to hear but stay long enough and these people will kill you; if not physically (which is a realistic possibility); then spiritually and emotionally for sure. They will quite literally drive you insane. And enjoy doing it. Very tragic for those who cannot escape.

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

Very true after 13 years she discarded me, I'm not the same person I was before, I'm a bag of nerves now.

@hassanchop3622 Год назад

This happened to me. I watched her smirk as I got sick and she knew she was the cause. I was gutted that after 26 years together she was enjoying me slowly dying

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

@@hassanchop3622 its a cruel experience, these people are disgusting individuals. I hope you can recover.

@hassanchop3622 Год назад

@@JohnSmith-wo7ns thank you. Hope life is kind to you from now on.

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

@@hassanchop3622 thank you same to you.

@spiritwellness252 Год назад

If you think about how they are never there when you needed them, in case of emergency…this is a huge reason to leave them…it definitely kept repeating in my mind. I was there for them, they abandon me each time I deeply needed someone and that’s enuff reason to leave anyone. Leave them….and Be well.

@birgitgairola8548 Год назад

45 years with a narcissist I have experienced every single situation described here and more. loosing house, home, family, homeland, financial security, destroying health relationships. Finally just now I found these RU-vid videos and information. Finally decided to find freedom. I have to rebuild my life from scratch and sort out what friends are left for me.

@Benniecat972 Год назад

I was in a 10 year relationship with a narcissistic person. Looking back, it seemed like I was under a spell. I left several times only to return to the relationship. It was hell. I finally left for good and it only took a few months to emotionally break away. Looking back, I don’t know what was wrong with me. 10 years later I am emotionally very healthy, by the grace of God.

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

Its something to do with their mind games and manipulation, I knew she was damaged and impossible to get along with but I stayed. 8 months after it finished part of me would still go back, its bizarre.

@liv_my_life6947 Год назад

Trauma bond, it's an addiction

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

@@liv_my_life6947 youre right.

@oklahomaisok Год назад

It seemed like a light came on one afternoon after 10 years and I thought I don’t deserve to live like this. I am a child of God with a heart, a mind & a soul ad God doesn’t want me to be abused. I had hoped that he would grow up and learn to appreciate everything. But he seemed to become more petulant and adolescent in his outbursts and behaviors as time went on.

@darcybarwick3766 Год назад

It’s demonic they cast spells

@Grrrrrrr123 Год назад

I’m out after thirty years. He kept me at home isolated available for sex cooking cleaning etc etc. no love or care just using my kindness to fulfil his needs. I am so sad but yes I have been his primary source after all these years him controlling me and abusing me 🙏 I’m free

@livingforfree2 Год назад

I hear you.....

@Camy211 Год назад

I relate to this 💕

@spiritwellness252 Год назад

So happy for you.🙏👋👌👍✨💗

@bornagain2890 Год назад

I am hoping soon I will be free from mine too. Husband of 17 years dealing with it for 19 years. He isn't a full narcissist but has the narcissistic traits. She can have them or all the other women who have no problem committing adultery. He needs to feel pumped up constantly and admired, well okay but he'll have to get it from all the others that are out there who will give it to him. At least for the time being until they realize what he's like.

@user-kx6tw3fo1e Год назад

Yes. Me too. I did all those things. Was actually only allowed to do those things. Sex, cooking, cleaning. As he rarely included me when he went out with his friends. I felt used & once said it. But then was told what am I using YOU for? Because he makes way way way more money than me. So I was like, ya you’re right. I’m thinking to much.

@debbyn4647 Год назад

They must all have the same narc book. Incredible. This is exactly what happened to me. Put up on a pedestal, devalued, and discarded over and over till my wallet was hurting, I was severely injured physically and mentally. Sick. Trying to set boundaries and make a schedule, get him to take responsibility. Nope. It was all my fault in the end. I was the cheating, lying, stealing, unlovable person whom nobody would like if they knew me. My friends and family are still here. Making new friends. Learning not to let this heartbreaking headache of almost 3 years ever happen again. I gave him everything. He gave me some things, but deserted me or tried in all my times of need. No more time for pain. It still hurts, but I have peace it's over. On the last days he came and took his AC and fan early. Mine came the next day. I was ahead of the game. Right when he took his things I signed him off the lesse and the locks were changed before he got here. He wasn't banking on that I would not lose my job, my friends, my family, my life. And you are so right. They are mean, nasty, arrogant creatures who will leave when they are not being worshipped. His phone was always off of turned over. Never again. I blocked him. Get strange texts and calls from strange numbers. Thank goodness I work in a locked building. He cannot get in. The police are close too. I told him I never want to see him again. I'm so fortunate to have this information and positive, loving people in my life. My mom is an RN nurse. After reading up on it she was like: "wow, what an evil, destructive personality!" I was financially dependent on him at first, but I got better, and a raise. My family can help if needed. I applied for emergency rental assistance in time for 3 months. He was not banking on that, but panic set in. I knew the cycles would keep going. I had to cut off his supply. He would not come home after I would not cook, sleep with him, or give him any admiration. They are monsters. Run away fast or its rinse and repeat! Much love Paula!♥️

@Gemdog5521 Год назад

Like clones it seems they all act in the same way ...you could almost say alien like ,a different race from normal humans...Parasites living of good healthy people slowly eating away at your brain and mind destroying your natural existence

@miajohnson9617 Год назад

Thanks for sharing your experience, it is astonishing how similar they are. It's great to read other people's journey it reminds me it's not only me and I am not insane! Well done Debby. 🙏❤️

@annekerotterdam7499 Год назад

There's no narc book! It's a personality disorder. Are you naive?

@miajohnson9617 Год назад

@@annekerotterdam7499 that's exactly what the narcissist used to say to me , " are you naive?" Or " are you really that stupid" . Thankyou Anneke for reminding me how narcissists talk to uou

@annekerotterdam7499 Год назад

@@miajohnson9617 you're welcome

@r.bishop1127 Год назад

You find yourself giving to utter exhaustion. You give money, time, care, you take responsibility. You clean up mess. You raise their kids. They drink or do drugs or gamble. Mine didn't cheat. I ended up having an emotional affair because I was so emotionally lonely after 7 years. I came clean. Begged for him to get sober. I only gave fuel to be blamed for everything. I asked for years about his dreams, long term plans for our marriage. I asked to resolve conflict. I tried to communicate. I wasn't heard if I was nice or reacting. They can't hear you. When you are finally dead, unemployed, broken, useless...they split.

@MI6-W 4 месяца назад

Ephesians 6:14 (NLT) Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness.

@Dreambutterfly8831 Год назад

12 year relationship. Narc free for 3 weeks now. I’m getting my strength, confidence and emotions back in order. I definitely lost myself but now I’m finding myself and loving myself more than ever before. He tried to destroy me, crush me, still my joy and happiness. Well, I’m still here. I’m more confident, stronger and wiser. Now he’s looking like a fool. I wish him and the new supply the best. I’m living my best life after 12yrs of hell. 😘🙌🏾

@motowngirl5891 Год назад

Even if you are giving them what they want they still have other supply They get all they can get from several supply

@melanieleon3070 Год назад

Well, the lawyer is sending me retainer paperwork and so it begins

@legs1157 Год назад

Got to the point where she demanded to move in to my house. It felt really strange telling her NO NO NO again and again. I had no idea that I was actually implementing a boundary. The main reason I didn't want her under the same roof is that I was well aware all the chaos that surrounded her. A big thank you to the universe for showing me all the signs of this negative disgraceful individual. #parasiticalpatrisha

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

Wish I'd had your boundary!!

@brendalhunt9720 10 месяцев назад

Yeah, it’s the chaos

@Gemdog5521 Год назад

Brilliant explanation Paula I can relate everything you've said to my relationship with my ex narc ...20 years 14 married to her my life at the end of the relationship was a living hell I couldn't work out what was wrong with me ...My god discovering these channels about NPD hit the nail on the head for me ...Thank god your videos have helped me no end to put things into perspective to solve and answer many questions and thoughts...Iam now over her I now know what she is and what she's done to me and how she's trying to destroy my life and my family...Absolutely horrible vile excuse for a human being I will never ever give her the light of day again in my life .....Thank you for your brilliant insights into this behaviour and how it destroys good people ❤

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

Evil creatures james, good luck to you.

@legs1157 Год назад

Well done for escaping death row! 👏

@khosrovghahramani113 Год назад

With this narcissist you never know you have to be very careful I am just praying that I can get over this but like I said these are a battery for everybody have to be careful yesterday I had five police officer with a gun draw at the property dispute was why I am holding my gun on my positionWhich I have for the past 25 years I’ve never had anything to do to harm anybody I am not a violent person but I have to protect myself light would be with you and shine forever God is with me finished for now

@Donken98A Год назад

Save your spirit, whatever the narcissist think is what you can’t control and non of your business. Heal your soul and become the best version of yourself.

@berenicegalilea Год назад

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.” ~ William Shakespeare; Hamlet

@rosieobi9260 Год назад

I was with my partner for 35 years. He did leave me at the 10 year mark to go and live with another lady for 3 years. During this time I became the other woman while I tried to make our relationship work for myself and our daughter. One day he came to visit and just never left again, his belongings slowly making their way back into the house too. I know now and always suspected there were other affairs. The the relationship was abusive in several ways. He tried unsuccessfully to hoover me back in again this time and although becoming single at 62 was scary now at, 67 I am so much in love with being single. I still love to learn and understand as much about narcs as I can, so appreciate you sharing your knowledge.

@joejaggers659 Год назад

You wear a lot of hat's when you're with a narcissist!!!! Very well explained you have great grip on this stuff!!!! A relationship with a narcissist is just not healthy and we knew it!!!!! It's all about power and pushing you to your limits!!!! They are very cocky because they always have someone on the back burner in their mind!!!!

@MaggieMayFlower Год назад

Thank you! It’s only been two months since I threw my narc out of my life but you’ve given me a lot of insight on how to handle myself going forward. I was only with him one year but it was the twilight zone! I doubted myself constantly.

@rachgrigg2447 Год назад

At the beginning I was dumbfounded how such an awesome man was single, I even asked him 'what's the catch?!....' 'how are you single' slowly but surely found out why. The push pull, hot cold, its all mind games. But it IS very real & happens ALL the time, then calls you crazy & asks if you're sane.... its so fucked.

@marmaladesunrise Год назад

One can't get a clearer message than yours, Paula. Thank God for YOU.

@elsie8966 Год назад

In our last row he looked at me and said I do everything for you. I still laugh a little about it now. He paid for nothing our whole relationship. He never took me out. I paid for all food and travelled to him everytime and the whole relationship revolved around his problems. I wonder to this day what he thought he did for me, unless the meals he cooked with the food I paid for counted!

@michelledonoghue5080 Год назад

You’re the only person who can describe what I went through to a T! I’m still no contact after 8 months💪Not easy and I still battle it every day, but it is getting easier. Your content helps keep me going. Thank you ❤️

@TRuh4You Год назад

💝

@chriscole5990 Год назад

14 years with my narc and the relationship never grew it only sunk lower and lower. One person can't carry a relationship it's to draining it takes two people to contribute and grow in life. That's one of the many ways she got exposed as being a narcissist.

@themoontoonshines923 Год назад

I lived exactly the same story for 16 years.

@birosglass Год назад

I lived it too, one person doing everything eventually leads to meltdown. Glad I'm off the hamster wheel

@tinajones5548 Год назад

Perfectly said. How dare you be yourself THEY have decided who you're going to be. My discard " you don't care about me. It's how you've been with me " victim mentality from the start. How dare you not comply with my image/ snapshot of you. I'm trying hard not to feel sorry for him.... Thank you Paula this certainly resonated with me. Good healing to everyone..... remember it's NOT about you....

@oklahomaisok Год назад

Narcissists love to assign roles for people, whether they are a spouse, a parent, another relative or a friend. If you don’t live up to that role then they lash out.

@infiniteharmony470 Год назад

Been through the discard and love bombing over and over again for 31 yrs with my narcassist I finally found out what he was when I researched the Jekyll and Hyde personallity I had to understand why he acted this way It was an eye opener day I couldn’t believe it was actually a thing Jekyll and Hyde was just the name I gave him None the less I have now discarded him forever and am living in my car I am so much happier and in peace though

@midnightpaperparty9687 Год назад

This one just really sealed the deal for me on what I am dealing with. I was pretty much convinced before, but where you were talking about how they demand you do what they want/go where they want /when they want, then demean and devalue you if you dare to express wanting something different for yourself . . . oh, did you hit the bullseye! Everything centered around His family, and he didn't give a rat's @ss what happened to mine. He demanded and raged at me if I didn't spend time with his mother every week - plus ALL holidays and their birthdays. Mine they all considered optional. Thousands of hours just with his mother, plus the occasional vacation I'd be required to spend with them. My family isn't rich, so he makes almost zero time for them - and zero time for my mother. Literally zero time. Not a single minute! There have been times where he would micromanage my tone to the point where if it wavered anything off of monotone, he'd then snarl at me that he wanted a 'Sweet girl.' He'd be eggshelling me, asking questions of me while being very, very testy, so I'd be trying very hard to keep my voice super even, but the tiniest waver (real or imagined) would set him off that I had an attitude or something. Heck, even keeping my voice perfectly even set him off at times because he Wanted an excuse to rage at me. He was the one with the attitude, and while he could have used a mirror in his face to see his reflection, he really needed some guy twice his size to hit him over the head with it and give him a taste of his own medicine!

@teresafraser3049 Год назад

You are by far the most informative person I've ever come across as explaining exactly 💯 what Narcassists truly are 👍🙏👍 Thank you for your in depth signs of their manipulative tactics that many innocent people fall into because they are soooooo convincing.....They use Charm and Humor to MASK their true colors that so many fall for. I was one of those people because I'm an Empath which means I can feel all their inner pain...insecurities and self loathing which created their lack of self worth. This caused a real big problem because I truly believed I could help them heal!!!

@brendalhunt9720 10 месяцев назад

Yeah that’s it. She’s so informed it’s incredible.

@BRONCOBILL123 Год назад

Thanks for your professional insight 👍 I left my narcissist wife last month ,best thing I ever did in my life GOD BLESS YOU

@teresafraser3049 Год назад

I'm so proud to say that I have learned how I could actually be grateful for being a victom having a Mother and three Brothers and my ex-husband along with several so called friends because they mirrored to me of how I continually allowed others to walk all over me at the expense of MY WELL BEING....I'm grateful for the lessons learned and am now married to a true empathic angel which we had two beautiful empathic daughters together ❤

@MI6-W 4 месяца назад

Luke 12:53 NLT ‘Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.’”

@Jane-rc2rk Год назад

The number of times I just didn’t want to wake up in the morning,the number of prayers I offered up to take me home…I still don’t understand what I did to deserve him…moreover what did our children do to deserve him as a dad? He has all but destroyed three lives…we’re rebuilding but still he makes it hard.

@renatelewis538 Год назад

Love your Channel. Why u don't have more subscribers is beyond me. You're my morning coffee. Lol

@odanespencer2938 Год назад

She is brilliant she the first lady I heard say it's evil driven which it is

@NarcCon Год назад

🙏🤓

@user-ss8fc2yz2q 3 месяца назад

He had the best and threw it away like a piece of trash. Goodbye forever. They are not worth it.

@melanieleon3070 Год назад

I've been told I brought nothing but pain and sorrow to my 27 years marriage and don't deserve anything if I leave. Yes in the process of trying to get out. Trying not to doubt that I can make it on my OWN. Fighting off the doctrine of a demon in my head from the narc

@themoontoonshines923 Год назад

Exactly the same for me, but I left a month ago, with our child, and the narc did not even know what hit him. Now the financial battle will come…. But, the key is to have your exit plan ready so that you can leave hopefully not with totally empty hands. 16 years of that horrible constant roller coaster! They are vampires that drain all of your goodness!

@Sarah-jr6ov Месяц назад

"You don't have to get a take away, you have it installed at home" That is hilarious😂😂😂 maybe especially due to the fact that I am the erstwhile at home supply. Love listening to your videos.

@gavinwilliams1687 Год назад

I wouldn’t have credited my ex narc with the intelligence but I was so wrong ,keep up the good work Paula x

@Sally-ih6ls Год назад

I agree, I love your videos, easy to understand, compassionate and extremely helpful…I wait patiently for your videos

@szalome1 Год назад

make a list to remind yourself to all the bad and whenever you want to go back or start idealizing the situation read that list!

@tinajones5548 Год назад

Yessss, make that list and keep adding to it!!! Keep going forward....

@sgtmuffinbadger6147 Год назад

Yup same

@pandora30riz20 Год назад

Same

@ozzielee9058 Год назад

I so agree. I kept a journal. That so helped, when I planned my exit from the nonsensical madness.

@summerbee9748 Год назад

I had way more than 15 cycles of being called horrendous names, beaten, and told he would never speak to me again and then calling returning apologizing. I have never been so close to suicide as I am now. I got out and I’m safe but everything you said towards the end rings true. He tried to destroy me and almost did. Very close. My child is gone, two jobs gone, and a 1100 mile move to where I knew no one. Don’t let these demons destroy you. Fight for you! Screw them and what they think. They live in a huge lie anyway! You were a whole person before you met them and you will be whole again after them if you FIGHT! And no it’s not fair but it is required. I am free to heal and he is free for now to victimize someone else. And I hope this one has a brother or daddy that loves her!

@darcybarwick3766 Год назад

I’m glad you are ok Yes I experienced the dark night of the soul I wanted to die .. I loved this foul n fake individual with all my heart . Suicide is what they want us to do . I firmly believe that they are demonically possessed.. there’s no other plausible explanation.. Yes we must fight .. if I could show a snapshot of my life before and after the narcissist you would be horrified.. the devastation is horrendous.. in the end we have no other option but to fight .. I’m alive only thanks to Jesus.. Stay strong and God bless.. One day all of their lies will be exposed.. Vengeance is mine says the Lord .. that brings me my peace

@summerbee9748 Год назад

@@darcybarwick3766 Amen Darcy. Throughout all of this we search for the positives…I was brought much closer to Jesus throughout my journey with a demon and I am 1 million percent sure I’m only still alive because of his grace love and protection. That and I have people that love me enough to pray for me. I learned through this experience that horrible people like that do exist on this world and that’s why we have to enforce those strong boundaries. Devastating the damage they cause and they have a trail of destroyed lives behind them. He’s too far to reach me so now I just have to put in the real work to get him out of my head and out of my heart forever. And I’m determined to this time.

@darcybarwick3766 Год назад

@@summerbee9748 I will be praying for you .. the person I was with is a psychopath.. please pray for me

@summerbee9748 Год назад

@@darcybarwick3766 Definitely praying for you ❤️ if your experience was anything like mine then I want to say that I’m glad you are still on this Earth with us!

@darcybarwick3766 Год назад

@@summerbee9748 thank you it was so bad .. she forced me to discard her and what happened next was a journey into the very depths of hell . I truly believe before the final discard she was trying to tell me she worships Satan

@jamespower4841 Год назад

Thank You Sister, Very Sobering.... Currently in a "Fluid" situation in my life.... Thanks for my Roadmap out, the Blueprint for your inspiring messages to get away freely from a Covert Narcissist that I've invested 8.6 year's of my life..... All clear now..... I'm not the crazy one.... Thanks from a 53 Year old male in our Lovely County Ireland 🇮🇪

@NarcCon Год назад

🙋‍♀️🇮🇪

@jamespower4841 Год назад

@@NarcCon Hello Paula 👋, James is my name and I'm catching up fast through you're messages here on RU-vid, which are the tonic and information I really needed to address my own personal situation, which I'm currently planning to break free once and for all and keeping my Mind & Core in tact as much as possible from the relationship I've been in for the past number of year's. She let her mask drop near the end of June this year on a day trip out as I triggered her accidentally, not understanding the Mechanics of the Covert Narcissist and this behaviour in general and how Narcissist operates anyway, but deep down for quite a long while I knew something was amiss but couldn't put my finger on it. But I have accepted my part in it now that fueled this in my life as coming from a very dysfunctional family where I was the scapegoat and suffered Mental, Physical, Emotional, Child Abuse in my very early life by my crazy mother. But I always stood up for the "Truth" called them out and was able to get away when I was in my late teens. Of course I didn't understand until now that all the Abuse I suffered throughout my life was following me with not dealing with any healing as such. Just always buried myself in work, but now with your Messages and Tamie M Joyce, I feel I'm been accelerated in Knowledge & Understanding & Wisdom to formulate a plan and to get out of my current situation. From what happened in late June when she let her mask drop, we parted ways that evening once I got her back to her place and I decided to go back to my own, a Peroid of time opened up where there was no contact and no meetings as by default at the time I was implementing Gray Rock or Full No Contact as I didn't know or understand theses strategies as I was Ignorant of these facts. I Know I'm an Empath as all my life people would always say you've a big Heart & very forgiving, too much so I'm afraid and by not dealing with my childhood trauma now I know it followed me everywhere. Also at the start of June I received a promotion in my work and this also started the chain of events to now. All my life no matter what situations or devastation came my way I always have the ability to bounce back better each time. Knew I was different all my life as I have a deep intuition and feel thing's deeply that when in times past where I wasn't under stress, if I entered a room of strangers I could hear their thoughts, Know their feelings and emotions. This individual that I'm currently involved with at present but not for much longer, I now know was an agent of darkness, and Pure Evil that lead me astray from my path over eight year's ago. But from the events of late June and the unexpected peroid of seven weeks of no contact, the Lord got hold of me again and has taken me out of this self induced coma I placed myself in over the last number of year's and started coming back to my real self. I knew I was on the right path in this intervening time peroid of no contact (by default) as one of my work colleagues I work with, I got what I call my "Knowing" for him that his mother would die in seven day's and even the time of death and exact date. I wrestled with it for a while, but gave him the information as I knew I had to tell him for his reasons. What I told him happened exactly to a tee. This wasn't the first time in my life where I told people that a loved one would die, it has happened on a few occasions. When this happened I could feel myself reconnecting to the Light and becoming stronger as I did an internal review Honestly with myself and all the planet's starting to align as the Truth hit me like a tonn of bricks, Anger and everything else. But I've managed to keep it all together, just about some day's, but felt I needed more Knowledge & understanding of the Mechanics of everything thing relating to my life. Deep down from within me a few weeks ago while driving in my work environment, I got it crystal clear "Pray" for understanding of my life thus far and for knowledge & wisdom to come my way. I'll never forget this date ever in my life Saturday the 20th of August as that night I came across Tamie M Joyce and your site two nights later and have been soaking up your Valuable Insight & Wisdom as every light came on in the room internally within me and the Truth has set me free. Just biding my time, learning and gaining knowledge to formulate the right plan for my life. Thank God I'm not married but engaged and we live separately about forty minutes away in different counties. In that peroid of no contact (by default) by me just going with my gut or knowing as I call it, she eventually doorsteped me one afternoon just as I arrived home from work. The usual fake apology etc none really and I saw through it but exercised Wisdom and a bit of false ness on my behalf and managed to get her to go home quietly after an hour or so of conversation, as I start work really early in the mornings and cited that I needed rest and was of no use to her that evening. Thankfully I'm very busy with work and she knows this, so I use it as an excuse not to see her, only little interaction over the last few weeks as I triggered her once more by accident a number of weeks ago and got the punishment & silent treatment until this week but now I know what I know and planning my escape once and for all. Yours and Tamie M Joyce's site's have saved me and equipped me this time round in my life so I don't make a dog's dinner out of it and inflict futher damage to my core. I'm ready for the smear campaign as I suffered one back in June but didn't react at all, again by default not knowing the priceless knowledge & wisdom you have afforded me through your site on RU-vid. Thank You Personally, as you've equipped me for the day's ahead in the final battle I face with this Covert Narcissist as I will extract her out of my life once and for all. Knowing & Seeing the Face of the devil & his underlings.... These demonic Entities that are sent to destroy us, the Empath.... Not this time. Did not intend to write or send this email but saw your like and was going to respond in kind, and deep within me all the above just poured out, so thank you for taking the time to read this as I know you're a busy lady, and "Thank You" for all you're Valuable Wisdom & Insight and your dedication in the Persuit of helping others & me been included as one. My Very Best Regards to You Paula & your family & of course the pouch. James

@rachgrigg2447 Год назад

I also found myself stop doing things I liked because he'd never want to come join me etc so we'd just stay home, he'd be scrolling on his phone while I was been bored

@rexx5851 Год назад

Always love and appreciate your videos but I wouldn't say that they subconsciously not realize what their real aims are. Maybe if they're just late teens ..I have met and observed a 22 yr old male Narc who turned to be so calculating, conniving, manipulative , oppressive , malignant and psychopathic ! It has changed my view of people. ( So very sensitive to toxic behaviours around me ) After meeting and speaking with him, in a very short time I realized that he had plans to manipulate himself to wherever he wanted to go or do...using people. At 22 , he said , 'by 25 yes of age , I never want to see another day of work !". He meant it and started to manipulate a whole group of people, by love bombing them, forced himself into their lives, self pity stories, etc...until he got what he wanted. I observed all of this ..and my spirit just kept warning me about him . I also noticed the extremely fragile ego , him having to be right , his entitlement, his rage for no good reason and the lies, smearing , triangulation and lack of empathy or remorse. I knew I had the devil from hell,as my spirit got really irritated when he was in my presence. I decided to Google the behaviours I was witnessing and yes, Malignant Destructive Narcissism was the answer. Thank God for all these you tube videos, as they confirmed my suspicions and concerns. The type questions the Narc asks you and the smirks they give , tells me all. They are delusional but they know what they're doing, know the relationship is likely to fail, so they collect ammunition from you, which they plan to use later against you...fully well knowing that they can't genuinely love or respect you, and at some point it's all about them and control. Most of them have had lessons in this from early childhood...

@marcusgreene5588 Год назад

I’ve been there. I asked why was I treated like a second choice, I would just listen to her talk about about men and what they offered. She said loved my energy. In the end I took my energy and used it to hurt her. I gave her the same treatment she gave me.

@missta1820 Год назад

It's finished! I would never go back. I love my peace so much. I know he is a tormented and sick in the mind personality. I can do better or even just be alone enjoying my own company and interests. Peace is very important.

@christinehow3595 Год назад

Hello Paula hope your doing well. Your so right every word you say about Narcs. Hes leaving his new supply . And then tryed me to move in with me lol So I played him for a change and said you will have too sign a disclaimer. He went mental ha He thought I would have him back . No way , not even on a plate ! Hes now gone , yippi. Just wanted my house and money . But thanks too you Paula you made me wise up how these demons work ! Cheers Paula now feel stronger

@NarcCon Год назад

🙋‍♀️😀

@tinasmith8151 Год назад

There are no words that say how evil and dispicable these people are. And they do get worse with age. Don't let's take you down. These people are worthless. The rest of us are not.

@themoontoonshines923 Год назад

Can you write some more about how they get worse with age, please?

@tinasmith8151 Год назад

I have a narcissist brother who has caused untold damage to our family. He will be 60 next year. My dad also boarded on the narcissist line to. With age they become more deluded with their own self importance. They will never be wrong on any issues even if they caused it in the first place. This is really frustrating as you will never get to the bottom of any truth. And I mean never. They also seem to be more caustic with their speach towards you. They turn any truth around and project all the toxic stuff onto you like you are the one at fault. But I think worse of all their spiteful nature and pure hate for you shows no bounds. So even though it's as frustrating as hell, the only solution is to walk away and have no contact. You know what a good person you are and all your really good family and friends will support you. And one else is truly not worth worrying about. God bless.

@savetrump9120 Год назад

That must be why he would stalk me wanting to catch me with another man. There was no other man. He was obsessed with the thought that I was just using him for his money, he didn't have any kind of money that was useful to me. He would tell people that he gave me all of his money and I waisted it on drugs and men, because he wanted an excuse as to why he had no money. Then I find out he spent his money on drugs and women friends. What the heck! People were treating me bad because they believed him and felt sorry for him, and then his women friends would come around me and act mad because I wasn't spending all of this money buying them drugs and introducing them to these men that I'm supposed to be having such a good time with... I don't know if I was dealing with narcissist or not but I was sure dealing with drug addicts. I had to get rid of the whole bunch of them. It was crazy, it was like I was dragged into their fantasy world. They acted like I was doing something and keeping it hidden from them but they were sure I was doing something that they wanted to take away from me I guess. It was like watching circus clowns. They think everybody is doing what they are doing and they cant figure out that they are wrong.

@marcharsveld2914 Год назад

She stayed with her man till the end. Married for nearly 60 years. As their son I can tell it was a bad marriage. Unimginable things happened around her death, right under my eyes. I didn't understand what was going on. It's 5 years later now. I learned my dad's a malignant covert narcissist. I've been the scapegoat all my life I found out at age 54. My dad murdered my mum and I am the only one who knows. I went NC when I found out my dad being a narc. My younger brother visits the murderer of his mother every friday afternoon. We're not on speaking terms. He thinks I am the crazy one. He is told so by his father. It has been discarding pur sang. Every step my dad took was thought of beforehand. You cannot win cause you don't know what game you're playing. You cannot win cause it's unimaginable you're dad hates your guts.

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

Wow unbelievable. You know the truth.

@hinakashif6113 Год назад

It's true you can't image what game they are playing.

@Narcissism-TheDarknessintheWor Год назад

@@hinakashif6113 what game are they playing? Do you think they're fully aware of what they're doing? Do you think their intentions are really to fully destroy you?

@hinakashif6113 Год назад

@@Narcissism-TheDarknessintheWor they never change.

@freeindeed5393 Год назад

So sorry you went through this! My mom was a covert narcissist and left my dad after 25 years marriage for a man she met at work. She was so full of hatred towards my dad. I never knew what a covert narc was until I went through a relationship myself with a woman that afterwards, I recognized was so much like my mom. What a journey down the rabbit hole. My eyes are wide open now. Sadly, my mom died of Alzheimer’s in 2019. I believe it was God’s Grace. She became a much kinder, sweeter person in her sickness. I don’t wish that on anyone. I pray that you will fully recover from the loss, and that justice will be served, even if it comes on Judgement Day.

@gregshand8181 Год назад

This is spot on. Amazing. But I was with mine for somewhere between 9 and 11 years - difficult to tell where to draw the end line with these people - so I am looking forward to the long relationship explanation video. Oh, I am 18+ months since we have seen each other and 14 months no contact - never ever ever ever letting them back in my life - nope, no way.

@salonsavy6476 Год назад

Paula, I love your knowledge,, you are incredible ❤️🤗🙏

@NarcCon Год назад

🙋‍♀️🌹

@CarolRemen-nt8wp 3 месяца назад

Oh so true...yes, yes, yes. Correctly stated. They don't like someone talking back to them & refusing to be a victim!

@onixmolina6521 Год назад

When I figured her out. I said it’s time to go. I never looked back. She has reached out to me but I went grey rock on her. I can’t deal with people that’s trying to take advantage of others.

@arthurlangille4604 Год назад

Best description I have heard. 100% Discarded after 20 years. To keep my sanity I had to figure out what happened. I didn't know where to start so I looked inward and asked myself what I most needed in life. I needed to be needed. Googled it. Hello my life started to make sense. From my childhood past to discard present. The puzzle pieces fit perfectly. I no longer have that need 😁. Thinking that all people are basically the same is another opinion I changed. Good people with an inner light is very rare.

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

I remember early on I was a Marshall for a women's night walk for cancer. To make sure they got round safely. My new ex was at home alone, and demanded I left to be with her, this is how unreasonable these creatures are, another example, I was at my place making a meal for me and my son, for his weekend visit, she called, demanded I go get shopping for her, I told her what I was doing, so she says forget it we're finished!!! I reminded her of that later on, she denied it. It just lose lose .

@brendalhunt9720 10 месяцев назад

I am 65. I have been with my narc for a year in a half. I look like hell now . I looked so good when I first met him . I smoke a pack and a half cigarettes a day I’m drinking again. I’ve gained 50 pounds I’ve taken all his stuff and put it in the driveway. I’m done.

@elainesmith5313 Год назад

Well, we'll we'll! You have hit the nail on the head my Friend! Shut the Door and call me High Test Gas! Apparently I had all that he was looking for as an on going supply. Married 45 yrs...... I had a well paying job, 23 yrs old and pretty sharp if I do say myself, hard working, joy natured. Am now 69 yrs. Old and still a good pick. He died in Jan 2022, a horrific death. His extra sexual affairs caught up with him. Contracted HPV....CANCER FOLLOWED....HE DIED. HAS taken me 8 mins to get past his death. Through therapy I came to realize that he was likened to a Drug. Now that I am detoxed, looking back in retrospect, I can see every thing you are talking about. Key for me was practicing emotional detachment helped in the last 8 yrs he lived. Have learned so much!! Thank you For your Wisdom ! Keep it coming!!

@NarcCon Год назад

🙏🌹

@worldsyoursent.1635 Год назад

So thankful to have found your channel on RU-vid. 🙏🙏🙏💚 many many thanks for sharing your knowledge. Can’t wait to see the 2nd part.

@brendalhunt9720 10 месяцев назад

I can’t stop watching this video . Just keep watching it over and over every time I wonder about some thing I’ll go to another video and she has the answer. She has the answer to all my questions. What a strong woman.

@NarcCon 10 месяцев назад

🙏🌹🌸

@CarolRemen-nt8wp 3 месяца назад

They are thinking "what can I get from this one" possibly?

@deniserothwell6325 Год назад

I had a very strange experience with two narcs. At one stage within days of each other they both said an identical thing to me word for word. And it was an off the cuff remark and was a random thing not link to any discussion or anything. I know for a fact they didn’t speak to each other about this as the circumstance made it impossible. And I know for a face they hadn’t spoken to each other for years regardless. The comment by them was very over the top complimentary to me so it was a love bomb of some sorts. The second narc who made the comment would never say this to me so it was puzzling as she has always been very jealous of my work. Anyway the comment as, I get it now you are a great artist. In blithe cases the comment wasn’t taken further at any stage. I seriously feel these demons who infect these people are connected and communicate to each other. Or there is just one demon. I was thinking about the strangest of it all today. So bizarre!

@Alaska-me5jc Год назад

Yes they do return somehow and or speak the same languages

@brendalhunt9720 10 месяцев назад

I love how her goal is to make sure we get every bit of information we need to get the hell away from these people. And I’m so thankful I found her. Thank you God.

@antonyperks9156 Год назад

FANTASTIC VLOG MANY MANY THANKS.

@nightstarjournal5081 Год назад

I watched this yesterday and just wanted to come back to say how helpful the information you imparted here is. 🙏 In fact, I have saved it and will be coming back soon to listen to it again. 💕🕊

@alexeyvishnyakov8132 Год назад

Thank you so much! Your videos are incredibly helpful 🙏

@beasaroseco5840 Год назад

Very informative. I'm glad that this information is being uncovered.

@pedrokarstguimaraes1096 Год назад

Very good, new approach and better explained.

@rosesantiago174 Год назад

BLESSINGS AND THANK YOU!

@marciathomas1625 Год назад

Very true. Your video explains a lot to me.

@ginadiluca9931 Год назад

Woow this is the exaced explained, thank you ❤️

@charlesballew7368 Год назад

Thank you for your work it has helped me a lot in my situation.

@recoverychannel657 Год назад

Perfect again Paula! Your explanation is always spot on! Thank you. :) Kia Haka (NZ)

@mercyrahma9501 Год назад

Brilliant ! 👌 Thank you so much Knowledge helps move on and never look back 🤗

@darthrasheed8248 Год назад

Love your videos Paula. I was in a long term Narcissist, long distance and living together. Everything you have said is spot on 100%!! I regret the day I met her, I mean that!!!

@1010QUEEN7 Год назад

I know exactly how you feel I feel the same way I regret ever meeting him

@chilloften Год назад

Breath taking. Pace yourself people.

@Kiwiwanderer 11 месяцев назад

Omg Nar Con - where were you 10 years ago !!! I needed you but I guess never too late. I was married to a troubled drunk …got divorced - he was a piece of cake 🍰 compared to the 10years I’ve just completed with a narcissist. Finally just got free and my iPad knew I needed you - and popped you into my you tube algorithm! Thank you god for algorithms ❤❤❤

@NarcCon 11 месяцев назад

Never too late 🌹🌹🌸

@Kiwiwanderer 11 месяцев назад

Gosh you Ave the best sense of humour - you have made me laugh out loud 😂 - …..” if I have learnt my lesson, he might want to check in with me “…..thank god I’m forgiving of myself … what was I thinking???!!! …..thank god I saw the light.

@NarcCon 11 месяцев назад

Glad you enjoyed it! 🤓

@noormohamed2991 9 месяцев назад

Hell on earth indeed it is...I wasted so many years not recognising their behaviour !😢 Yes constantly trying to chase changing goal posts x😢

@NarcissistFreealmost 9 месяцев назад

So well explained 👍

@suziesml Год назад

Absolutely brilliant 👏

@goldenlass9488 Год назад

Sadly accurate! 🤯

@jjmack6563 Год назад

I couldn't question ANYTHING about his behaviour or lack of consideration for me. That resulted in rage. That's what triggered the discard. Paula you mentioned this in one of your videos. I got "you ALWAYS start around this time" turned it on me and off he stormed. I was feeling that something wasn't right for a while before and I think he picked up on it.

@darrellbutler884 11 месяцев назад

My narc had me for 8 months. I was able to dismis her before I was damaged seriously. . she was a work associate for 2 years. Thought I knew her. When narc traits displayed, I questioned online, like this program. I was shocked at what I d walked into. I'm continuing to learn with your insight & wisdom. Glad you're there.

@NarcCon 11 месяцев назад

🙏🙋‍♀️🌹

@Petra-r1c Год назад

Perfect: your we're pretending to be someone else. This IS unbelievable yes❤❤❤

@faithanddevotion Год назад

I really appreciate your channel and the work you are doing. I listen to a handful of channels, and they all have certain things that help me, but you are able to break some things down in a way that I can really get it. You are the only person I have listened to that mentions suicide and being romantically intertwined with with a NARC. I say that because it tool me awhile for some of my suicidal ideation to back off. I don't think I would have ended it, but there were times were I was so depressed after the discard that I had ruminating thoughts about it, and it was so painful & totally caught me off guard. Even though they apologized months later; which was nice to hear, and I don't think they were sober when they apologized, , but I felt that their motive was not to really apologize because they felt bad about what & how this impacted me. They tried minimizing it later by comparing what I was telling them I was going through because of this breakup with someone else we both know that lost a loved one after years of marriage. Basically, they were telling me I shouldn't be so messed up because we weren't together for that long; which just pissed me off more, yet I also I still felt guilty because I knew how messed up our mutual friend was & how hard losing their life partner must have been on them. Yet, that doesn't mean my ex & our mutual friend knows what I have been going through either since I got discarded by someone whom I believe & feel fits the pattern of a narc text book wise; even though I cannot diagnose them. If anyone knows of or knows/knew anyone that was in a relationship with a NARC & later took their own life, I am sorry & I feel like that needs to come out &0 be known. After what I went through, I cannot imagine someone that spent years & years with this abuse & then has to deal with it ending, regardless of being able to get out of something that is sick & toxic, healing takes time, it's painful, & I never knew loneliness like that before. No matter who ends it, it can get really hard for some to deal with that emptiness that this whole situation can bring. Even if it's a screwed up relationship, anyone can still feel in love with someone even if they are the worst thing that ever happened to him or her. I feel like that feeling of wanting to end it is in the past, but everyone morns their own way & its rough.

@theosilva7188 Год назад

You are Brilliant how you give the message 👏 I been there the reality never they accept responsability. Please keep your great work. 👍

@annette2153 Год назад

You got this James! I;ve been through it, married to my now ex for 20 years. BRUTAL. Stay in the light

@allanbabcock9678 Год назад

These people are so awful, I married my wife over again and I am convinced she wanted me completely ruined. She was hiding behind a religious facade truly hideous. I am in the process of totally breaking all bonds altogether. I new nothing of what a narcissist is. May God bless your your site

@allanbabcock9678 Год назад

Read my comment a little more carefully, and maybe try not being so judgmental, my wife came back to the Lord Jesus and I really didn't understand what a narcissist was quite frankly. I'm right in the middle of this battle and Jesus has my back. Man doesn't

@belladonna70 Год назад

very accurate.thank you so much .

@berenicegalilea Год назад

Thank you, Paula 🌹, for this theme: Narcissist Thought Process: I received the book as a gift. I investigated understanding by myself. He wanted nothing more than for my head to deal with his psyche. For him to come first. Like a god. * American writer, author of The Greats Gatsby (the Bible-book for narcissists), F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote in his essay "Crack Up", this proposition: "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function." Paradox is a seemingly absurd or contradictory statement or proposition which, when investigated, may prove to be well founded or true. It is a proposition which is apparently ok, reasoning from acceptable premises, leads to a conclusion that seems logically unacceptable, self-contradictory, because combines and contains two opposite qualities or facts or characteristics. Please, remember this Fitzgerald's proposition: "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function." It is this reasoning: from acceptable premises, leads to a conclusion that seems logically unacceptable, self-contradictory, because combining and containing two opposite qualities or facts or characteristics, is that, what H.G.Tudor calls: 'moving the goalposts' or 'the ZERO point' at which the truth is distorted, in order to ensure that narcissists have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you. When narcissists move the goal posts or distort the truth, they constantly shift and redefine expectations so that they can never be met = never seen = become invisible = hidden. * Their care-givers, probably, treated them so.

@bradmcewen Год назад

Excellent explanation. Constant compliance is always the purpose. Its coercive control as a normal human interaction. The only solution to mental assaults is to remove the poison.

@cathyglitsch4756 Год назад

Thank you so much i really needed to hear all of your video..I just got out of a relationship with a narcissist 2 days ago..I'm really beaten down..but continuing to stay far away..I'm working on myself now to heal it will be a process

@khosrovghahramani113 Год назад

I’ve been living with a narcissist past 39 years and I tried everything I have four kids one of them I cannot leave and appreciate you so hard I don’t know can I take it anymore or not but I’m really trying I know it’s not gonna work but I’m trying my best for my handicap kidThat’s all for today I am out of the side of the door but what I’m gonna do with my kid the light would be with you I am not giving up I’m not giving up my family or my kitty love you all for right now

@terrapintravels3829 Год назад

This video is so very right on to my 2 year relationship with my ex narcissistic husband. Today I got back into romanticizing the honeymoon so watching your videos help me get out of this frame of mind. And get back to reality. I left 2 years ago. We had been married before in our 20s which didn't last more than 6 months and then again 44 years later in our 60s.

@LenaKrupinski-vg5wi 12 дней назад

💖🤗💖 Great video Paula ! 🙏

@upclosesneakers6875 Год назад

This is an incredible breakdown, As i listen I hear you describing my own experience and feelings within the "relationship" I thought I was having...

@NarcCon Год назад

🙏🌹

@deborahfairbanks4012 Год назад

I'm stunned. I'm so glad I found your channel... I am a long termer....

@NarcCon Год назад

🙋‍♀️🙏🌹

@BRONCOBILL123 Год назад

YOU ARE SO RIGHT,

@beautypablotamarini7315 Год назад

mother said to her dear narc son: you have to find someone who loves you what a hard psycho horror tragedy

@vickipacheco9787 Год назад

Thank You Paula. Mega Blessings to You, I so appreciate your Godly Wisdom & Peace about You. Happy Sunday from Spokane,Washington.

@NarcCon Год назад

🙋‍♀️🌹

@darnelanders3269 Год назад

So very accurate...I think 🤔 back now and I remember leaving the narcissist with a group of neighborhood associates not 🚫 True friends basically drinking buddies at the spot as they call it... days after that I ran into a couple who were in general very nice and respectful of me...but this day there rarely spoke and I thought 🤔 that was strange but never put it together.. even after I ran into another one of the associates who bummed some change from me had stated... and R U really into all that ....I thought WTF but didn't elaborate...as they didn't elaborate...I just can't imagine someone lying on me especially someone whom I felt sorry for and hired as a painter....I knew something was off due to his fractured eye 👁️ but didn't want to judge...I felt he was bad news...yet gave them the benefit of doubt. He told me it was a motor cycle accident.. months later .he attacked one of my coworkers busting him in the eye 👁️ while In the back 🔙 of my Van .. blood everywhere...I was letting him out after taking him to the scrap yard...I guess he was jealous of the guy for helping me on a job while he was in jail for a few days or upset that he didn't get what he expected at the scrapyard because he stated that they cheated him... .I was livid and he tried again to swing on him so I accelerated as he fell backwards and I call the cops who showed up to arrest him but he lied saying it was self defense...my coworker chose not 🚫 to press charges after finding out he had assault charge pending from his then girlfriend.......so I figured he was controlling at times... then a few years later he was causing problems on another job working for his uncle and problems with domestic abuse against his girlfriend...it wasn't until he was incarcerated did I google his name to find out he has been in and out of prison most of his adult life going back 🔙 to his conviction of five years in prison for attempted murder of his first wife twenty years ago as to where he would beat her and strangulated her several times throughout the night 🌃 to unconsciousness to keep her from leaving .. luckily she survived to tell about it...i heard that she left town never to be found..he was most likely berating her projecting the things that he was doing onto her or she had possibly caught him cheating...I do know she was paying the 💵💵 Bills ... although he is a good worker he can't focus from being so preoccupied with his surroundings or himself...he is all about dominance control and praise just to feel validated... and I wasn't having that.. his uncle put up with his crap for years and his mother high tailed it out of town as soon as she was able to... these circus 🎪 clowns perform show after show and at first they receive a standing ovation and months later they received nothing but boo boo boos from One or more audience.... they are indeed the wild animals that they try oh so hard to tame.

@elainesmith5313 Год назад

P.S. you're looking Great!! Weight loss I can tell!! Keep it up you are an inspiration to all of here in NORTH CAROLINA!!!!❤❤❤

@narcaholicsanonymous1744 Год назад

Spot on again Paula. You are the Conner Macgregor of Super Empaths :P

@collie8 Год назад

great nickname 😁😁 greetings from United Empaths

@NarcCon Год назад

🤓❤️

@heathermixson1265 Год назад

Thank you Paula 💝

@JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

I'm 5 years younger than my ex shes 57, she left me for a guy whose about 10 years older than her, I actually think she thinks this is perfect for her.