What Does Emotional and Mental Abuse Look Like? With Guest Leslie Vernick

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1 Corinthians 13 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Although relationships can be full of love, they can also be difficult and sometimes become unhealthy and emotionally destructive. On today’s edition of Family Talk, Dr. Tim Clinton interviews Leslie Vernick, a licensed social worker and biblical counselor, to discuss the difficult topic of abusive marriages. According to Leslie, the Church needs to do a better job of not prioritizing the sanctity of marriage above the safety and the sanity of individuals in a marriage if abuse is present.
About Today's Guest: Leslie Vernick
Leslie Vernick is a biblical counselor and a licensed clinical social worker. For more than 35 years, she has helped individuals and couples in destructive relationships. After earning a master’s degree in social work from the University of Illinois, Leslie conducted post graduate studies in cognitive therapy and counseling strategies for victims of abuse. She is the author of seven books, including "The Emotionally Destructive Marriage," "The Emotionally Destructive Relationship," and "Defeating Depression." Leslie and her husband, Howard, have two grown children and three grandchildren.
Resources Mentioned:
A Parent's Guide to Pornography - www.drjamesdobson.org/axis-a-...
leslievernick.com
"The Emotionally Destructive Marriage" book by Leslie Vernick
For more information and to connect with all resources mentioned - drjamesdobson.org/broadcast/20...
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Опубликовано:

30 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 34

@tracystewart4628 Год назад

I suffered mental and emotional abuse from my now x husband. I stayed in it for 24 1/2 years because of my daughter our only child. He also manipulated her against me then and now since our divorce in 2012. She now is so hateful and rejected me. It hurts so much and even more now that she had my first grandchild. She even uses my grandchild to hurt and control me. I'm so broken 💔. I really need a Christian counselor, one that's affordable. Prayers please. Thank you.

@renearosser1466 Год назад

I understand too well

@peggydietz6148 11 месяцев назад

Have you found an affordable therapist?

@Star-dj1kw 11 месяцев назад

Don't worry about going to a Christian counselor bc they might end up trying to shame you. Many of them are do not understand abuse. You are better off with a clinically trained therapist

@Star-dj1kw 11 месяцев назад

Also, there are many resources available for free online and at your local library

@peggydietz6148 11 месяцев назад

@@Star-dj1kw I have to say I disagree. It is vital I believe to have a Christian therapist and the root of this is a spiritual battle , often generational. I spent 40 yrs and grateful he was away with work . Reason I lasted so long . It was a Christian psychiatrist who met the X and identified. I can’t say how much your own research is vital . I began in 2012 and I’ve listen from many and I can now sift them down to who is best for me as to where I am at on my healing journey. So many more now on line and authors . I can recommend several for you to learn much from . Some are recovery coaches, other explain how to navigate… many counseling do not know the very depth . I was last given 2 books by my psychiatrist and he so understood for he was married 30 yrs and going through it same time as I . In Sheeps Clothing by Dr George Simon And Divorce Poison Dr Richard Warshak Where are you in your journey? I have two adult sons who have been manipulated with $ but I know it’s generational sin and my sons are 4th generation. It has to be approached properly and with knowledge of it . 🙏

@dachater1 Месяц назад

Leslie is amazing. This interviewer did not bring out the issues as she was touching on them!

@tammyhoward7960 Месяц назад

I highly recommend Lesie Vernick & co. They are a team of life changing women . Helping women to get healthy & fully trusting in God for their healing. 🦋💜

@afraidtosay8471 Месяц назад

One year later, I come back to this video after an hour of searching through my Google Activity, to identify how I journeyed through domestic abuse. I am free, happier, thankful, and still learning after this video, and the information it set me off on, has enabled me to make the changes to save my own life. Even as I am a believer in the Lord, sometimes it is up to us to save our own lives. I do what I can, and He does what I cannot do. So, Leslie, you were the first person out there to spark me up off on my journey. At the time I thought I will die; now one year later I am enjoying my beautiful life. I am now making a record of my online activity, from the momet I reached out to Google for help till the time I sourced everything that has taught me so much. Thank you Leslie for being the first person in the queue of powerful women out there, serving us who are last, and now first. You have made a difference where God has catapulted my character, ouch. Standing at the top worth every bruise. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

@lynnschaeferle-zh4go 4 месяца назад

I’ve listened to Dr.Dobson my whole adult life. My uncle was Divinity professor and he experienced what I did. We both married narcissists who were black holes of destruction. Both spouses grew up in the church and knew perfectly how to manipulate. His ex caused him his pulpit and my ex caused me to lose my whole family. If the Lord would only smite liars and soul killers. And yeah, they’ll get theirs however ever after 41 years of marriage it destroyed me. And you are wrong. The church tells me to keep on trying for the sake of family and who am I? Weak and not knowing my place. Well the fallout is all the mental and emotional abuse that they witnessed. We never raised voices. No need. Dad’ s always right.

@Star-dj1kw 10 месяцев назад

it’s good to acknowledge abuse. Abuse is a biblical reason for divorce.

@pursuingvirtue 3 месяца назад

PERIOD Guys! Bravo! Thank you for speaking truth to what happens!

@Charity1277 2 месяца назад

Thank God for this woman. Wish i had found her sooner

@debbieforhim7800 13 дней назад

I would so love to see more of these conversations but around other people other than spouses because I do hear so much about marital dynamics, etc. I fortunately am happily married to a good, solid man but I so struggle in difficult female friendships (probably due to difficult relationships with my mother and step-mother). I need help and guidance there!

@abolanleodejinmi4826 5 месяцев назад

Thanks so much Leslie. I am always blessed with your teaching. God bless you.

@clancykeegan748 10 месяцев назад

Thank God for Leslie 🙏

@sh6460 7 месяцев назад

My ex would call time out, but NEVER revisit the issue. His responses where either " you're nagging", or " you didn't remind me". He was never competent nor willing to work on the issues he often created.

@user-ur7hm1ew3e 6 месяцев назад

I wanted to hear more actual examples of emotional abuse.

@ladonnahafen9938 3 месяца назад

There is a great book called The verbally abusive relationship by Patricia Evans that has a lot of real life examples.

@JKshandle 2 месяца назад

Her book emotionally destructive marriages has a lot of specifics

@sebrinamuhammad3460 20 дней назад

This helps

@lck2978 5 месяцев назад

THANK YOU SO MUCH for not simply acknowledging, but also bringing up a real situation about a man being the victim of abuse (~17:00). I couldn't agree more that we've idolized the sanctity of marriage above its proper place. Another dangerous assumption we've made is this: I don't know what the stats are, probably still a large majority of women are the victims. But that has led to too many people just assuming the man is at fault. NOT TRUE! Even in the first sin, BOTH Adam & Eve each had their faults. I am going to try to adopt some version of the advice to the man in the example given. My wife tends to be controlling at times. Our situation is a little different in that she has untreated ADHD and/or bi-polar disorder, past childhood trauma that hasn't been properly addressed. And of course, I didn't see any of that at the surface when we first married. It seems a switch was flipped when we had kids. The way she was treated and the parenting she witnessed as a child started to come out in her. Now, I'm seriously thinking a separation is in order. Or at least I need to find an abuse support group. Thank you for bringing light to this!

@lynnschaeferle-zh4go 4 месяца назад

Lord keep me from throwing up. I know no man who doesn’t call the shots. And if the men aren’t aggressive then they are passive aggressive. Power imbalance? Not even looks or money gives her decision making power. This reminds of “If you want a better man, you need to be a better woman “. To the point of a nervous breakdown.and contempt, derision and stonewalling on his part. I failed him because I went to the hospital.

@christinestrubhar5888 4 месяца назад

Please, it is not your fault. God, help this dear lady.

@ladonnahafen9938 4 месяца назад

I am so sorry about what you went through. No one should be treated that way! If you haven't heard more of Leslie's work, I would encourage you to check it out because it could be a great resource for you after what you suffered. She is very upfront that the abuser is most often men by a landslide. In all her years of counseling, she has only dealt with a couple men who were being abused by women. She grew up with an abusive mother so she knows that women can be abusive (most often to children or the elderly). She normally says that when asked about men being abused. I think she didn't in this interview due to the short time slot. As you probably experienced, women who are abused (I am a survivor and victim advocate) have had their voice and their choice stripped from them. This differs from "if you want a better man, you need to be a better woman" because the purpose is to restore the woman's voice and choice for HERSELF. It isn't to get a man or make your husband change. You can't make anyone change, but you are in control of yourself and often we have more power than we exercise because of lies we believe from our abuser, society or poor scriptural teachings. She helps women build themselves and their life into something they enjoy based on their personal values. I hope you listen to a different interview with her to get a better idea of what she does. Much love on your healing journey ❤

@xelamom8 4 месяца назад

Interviewer didn’t ask enough specific questions about mental and emotional abuse. People may go to Leslie’s website to learn more about what they are.

@sherischultz2506 2 месяца назад

What if the husband changed right after the marriage ? He was very passive and then took control and said it’s because his role changed . He was a husband now .