That's what it has always been like for me in my marriage and my relationships with my children. User/taker. The only thing I got out of my relationships were abuse and abandonment, by my parents, my ex-husband and now my children. And so now I fly solo. I praise the LORD He will never leave or forsake me. He is my husband, helper, healer and fortress. I turn to him and put my trust only in Him.
I'm glad that you have found comfort in Jesus and go to HIM in your time of need. PRAISE HIM!! Thank you for following Treasured Ministries, you have a blessed day!
Thank you! I feel like God just dropped this episode into my lap because I am suffering right now. I recently had to (finally) remove my brother and his wife from my life permanently because they are so destructive. For the last 10 years I have been her target; no matter how kind I have been, giving grace, turning the other cheek, forgiving - she would regularly wound me with her harsh words,, reject me, leave my husband and I out of family get-togethers, talk badly about me to other family members. I have felt her victim. She is VERY charming and everyone falls for it! My brother seems confused at times by what she says and does and gets upset by it, but in the end always supports her and then comes after me too. We were raised in a tense, unhappy household with a tyrannical step-mother and a weak father. He allowed her to treat us badly (especially me). Now my brother is playing out with his wife the SAME toxic dynamic! And I have been and continue to be harmed by it! I am so sick of this! I feel very alone in this because many people have only seen her SUPER CHARMING self - it just shines out of her. It was the same with my step-mother....friends would not believe it when I told them how she really was and how I was treated! She also would turn on that charm and manipulate. Thx again - channels like this are helping me to come to terms with this ugliness and find healing. Thankfully, I have a happy marriage and many blessings....wonderful, Godly women friends! And I believe through this God is continuing to conform me into His image.
Your SIL depicts Narcissistic behaviour. Sadly, your brother is caught up in his wife's whirlpool of destruction and may not realise the damage she has caused until it is way too late. It is also harming him to a huge degree, but as you said he stands by her because she is his wife. Sometimes people in relationships are blinded and don't see the real damaging behaviour of the person they are with. It's good that you have taken measures to protect yourself. I'm glad you have good support measures to surround you and help you. Stand strong in the LORD and may He bless and increase you and fill you with His love and goodness and provide you with the necessary strategies to guard your heart and emotions against damage.
Praise God you found us and this video, it's all HIS timing!!! Family is hard, praying for them and for HIS will is all we can do. You take care of you and your relationship with God. Praying your family will come around, but in the meantime keep praying and following HIS will. Prayers and hugs!!
I'm watching this VERY helpful video again. Thank you! I wish there were more of these though about girl friend relationships, but I guess the same principles apply as they do to destructive marital relationships. I have had to let some "friends" go recently because I realized I again was being treated poorly, and the dysfunctional co-dependant little girl inside of me thought that was "normal", but it's damaging! God's principle of treating others as we'd like to be treated is so simple, basic, and a guidepost now for me. God is teaching me to get my worth from HIM not other humans!
I could not agree W you more! The worst relationship mistake I ever made was with a female friendship. I learned so much. I tell you what on my next live Q&A. I’ll talk about a little bit of what I’ve learned. You’re absolutely right there needs to be more resources on friendships.
Such a valuable conversation!! Dishonoring = Disrespecting, Degrading Golden nugget from this: Emotional abuse is using words and behaviors, without hitting, to dishonor, oppress or control another person.
What an insightful video. Thank you! Almost 30 years ago I left a physically and emotionally abusive 19 year marriage. Though my children (32 and 41) know how their dad treated me, they treat me much the same way. They both belittle and gaslight me, say hurtful things and use their children as weapons. I haven't seen my 7 year old granddaughter in 2 years. Videos like this help! Thank you!
I'm sorry you too, Victoria, are going through this hard and heart wrenching time. I cling to God and trust He will take care of us. I will pray for you❤
Sending you a hug. Absuse is so very hard. So much loss - God is your redeemer, Sherry. You don't deserve to be treated this way. Greater days ahead. We are going to pray for you
Absolutely! And if you would like join us in our Treasured Tribe group. We join together to learn, pray, share and grow in Christ! Treasuredtribe.com Prayers friend!
Very Powerful message. Has answered my question to stay or leave once and for all to heal me and my self worth to regain my self joy and happiness I deserve the God has and wants for me.
sadly, women can play the victim and there's sometimes a pattern of multiple marriages with tolerating emotional abuse. Original family has abuse in many cases. I've heard, "I just need to be a better wife, yet there's also a put-down to the husband as he hasn't worked in 25 years and she supports them both and brags about it. He makes the financial decisions and she says, "It's my money that's being earned." All the while, insisting on being a submissive wife. There's a superiority sometimes as a victim. It can be crazy being a friend to this type of woman. There may also be some exaggerating for sympathy. Not mostly, but sometimes. I won't play the role of counselor as a friend to anyone as it's so complicated and difficult. After a decade of hearing this, I am worn out as a friend and really just change the subject.
Yes, that's where we need the Co Dependency on God. As a friend we can ourselves be God dependent. And in doing this we are showing our friends how we are living. So being an example, praying for them to also find their way to God dependency and living free in HIM. Thank you for sharing and following us! Blessings!
Candice, it sounds like you needed to send her to a counselor like Leslie. You were not qualified to "play the role of a counselor". And, it sounds like as a friend, the best thing would have been to watch this video with her. Maybe you have, but at least you could show her this post, the real truth about what you think.
