As someone already mentioned, thank you so so much for sharing about your deconstruction journey. I always feel so encouraged hearing you speak. As someone who is currently in the middle of deconstructing, I have felt very afraid that if my faith was changing that meant that I wouldn’t have my relationship with God anymore, or that it was wrong for me to question things. I love what you said about how if our faith is alive it’s natural for it to change like all living things! Loved everything you mentioned about what to look for!
Yes!! It’s so natural for our faith to grow and change! I think it’s actually one of the ways God draws us deeper into faith, but it’s really confusing and hard when we’re coming from a community that has always seen faith as static and black-and-white. Thank you so much for sharing this encouragement with me!!❤️❤️❤️
Corno manso blessings and mari complaisant greetings to my old friend anely the maiden as well! For that is the way of your meek horn husband with the blushing red face of cocu content compersion. 👺👯♂️
Hi Tiffany. What a great, and important video. For me, I think it boils down to how you actually LIVE your faith, day in, day out, rather than how you announce and display it. Values and character traits rather than doctrine.
Thank you so much for your openness in your deconstruction journey. I was there when you started sharing it and honestly, felt so uncomfortable. I’ve been going through my own deconstruction journey the past couple years and I’ve realized how scary and brave it is for you to share that part of your life. For me, I do have different views and beliefs in my faith now than I did years ago, and as a single woman who wants a partner that will also love God, I sometimes feel like I won’t find someone who either thinks along the same lines as me or is respectful of our differences in faith. But I’m not losing hope and it’s not going to stop me from enjoying the life I have now!
This comment meant SO MUCH to me. Thank you😭❤️ and thank you for sticking around with me even tho it made you so uncomfortable!! I definitely relate to that with some friendships who started deconstructing before me, and how uncomfortable it made me feel. I also love your hopeful-not-giving-up approach!! I think this change and growth in faith is a “move of God” if you will, and that more and more people will begin to take that journey! I just say that as a small encouragement that I too am hopeful that you’ll find a partner who is respectful and open and loves God!!
I'm glad you talked about rigidity. It's very true, I have a friend (Who is still single) and all he ever says is "That's not what the Bible says" (Nevermind that Christians are highly divided on the subjects he often brings up). He just never admits when he is wrong and often doubles and triples down on it. It's also highly difficult in the church to tell the difference between someone who has convictions verses someone who is just stubborn. I think there are things to consider: 1. ------ Is this person strong but still kind? ----- In otherwords if someone has strong convictions but will still listen to what someone else has to say. "“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” ---- It is also the mark of a mature person. They may not change their mind but do they try to control you into believing what they do? 2. How do they apply their beliefs: Are they bold and aggressive. Are they angry? Are they controlling or nit-picking?
You basically describe how Protestants interact with Catholics with that exact mindset hence Catholic to Catholic and unbeliever to unbeliever for people to be equally yoked.
I love this video! I used to think that as long as the guy I was dating was "Christian" that was all that matter, and I had a lot of unhealthy relationships. But when I started looking for certain attributes and values over labels, I have been able to grow a healthy relationship that is godly, but not necessarily "Christian".
Awwww this is so good! You’re always a breath of fresh air! Thank you so much for sharing and being obedient to your call, it’s definitely helping me ♥️
Oh Tiffany hits home for me a bit. My friend has held the view for some time now and shared it with me. I was skeptical at first but i came to the thinking of why not and now I think she's right. Then along comes miss Tiffany and her truth seeking self sharing her ideas that somehow tend to align with ours. Keep on doing what you're doing. Also the point on rigid was even closer to home. My shift was a whole process of my world crumbling and being rebuilt. It's a hell of a process but I'm trusting God that it all makes sense in the end.
That means so much❤️❤️ thank you for sharing some of your story too!! Faith shifts are SO HARD - especially coming out of a community where we’ve often been taught that faith is black and white
I would simply add that in addition to being a sign of closemindedness and rigidity, very strict and inflexible beliefs can be a sign that you will be abused by this rigid person in the future (if you aren’t already). Christian abusers tend to hold very black-and-white beliefs, which is often how they justify their abuse. So pay particular attention to this character flaw!
Thank you so much for this video Tiffany! Do you have any thoughts on dating during a 'low faith' or deconstruction phase? I've been dumped several times by guys who saw my faith as not good enough, making us 'unequally yoked' (to their credit, they never used the yoked term), as I have been going through a phase of evaluating and challenging the things I thought in my 20s. It means I've stopped dating as it's just not worth it, but has equally put the pressure on to 'sort out' my faith so that someone can love me. It also fuels the idea that deconstructing people are a danger to others and should be isolated rather than included in church life. Thank you for sharing your journey, and would be interested to know your thoughts on dating during deconstruction.
That is SUCH a good question. I have been hearing this question a lot lately and I definitely want to talk more about it! I need to let it marinate a little longer before I’m ready, but it’s definitely in there marinating!❤️❤️ That being said, I’m so sorry they acted like your faith was less than 😔 my thought when I heard that, tbh, was that you’d dodged a bullet. That deconstruction would help you end up with someone who is not theologically rigid, but who has the humility to not feel threatened by people who think differently than them. I hope that can help encourage your heart in some small way❤️❤️
I have a hard time going to church because of this very common closed mindedness and ignorantly dogmatic approach to faith. Since late highschool I figured it was better to read the bible on my own and go live out my story instead of asking everyone but God what I was supposed to do.
I think a lot of people are feeling similarly ❤️❤️ I have been so encouraged to see more churches popping up that value open mindedness and dialogue over uniformity!! I pray for more and more of them!!
I have found some people's faith doesn't come from the teachings of Hashem or Jesus but from other religions mentioned in the bible but they are masking them as Christianity. I believe for some Christians the message of only having to believe in Jesus but not follow the teachings of Hashem leads them down the path of other religious practices, that cause them to separate themselves from G-d but also separates them from those who believe in G-D and sadly results in them pushing their religion on Christians or for Christians to avoid church all together.
