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What I HATE about the Enneagram Community

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The Enneagram community can be a toxic place. Sometimes.
Free Typing Guide ➡️ adept-author-9...
The Enneagram for Black Liberation* 📕 amzn.to/3quCHnT
ENNEAGRAM RESOURCES:
The Enneagram for Black Liberation* 📕 amzn.to/3quCHnT
Jessica Denise Dickson, Enneagram Coach jessicaddickso...
Vanessa Fernandez, Enneagram Coach / theenneagramworkshop
Funlola, Coach, Writer, & Educator / enneagrameverything
Myrna Cervetti, Enneagram Coach / enneahealth
Vanessa Sadler, Enneagram Coach / abidinginstory
Growth Bound, Enneagram Coaching & Team Workshops www.growthboun...
Dayo, Artist and Enneagram Lover / theblackenneagram
Tracey Gee, Enneagram Coach traceygee.me (obsessed with her!!!)
Milton Stewart, Enneagram Coach kaizencareersa...
Do It For the Gram Podcast 🎤 podcasts.apple...
Melissa Corkum, Enneagram Coach / enneagramgroups
ABOUT THIS CHANNEL:
Explore your personality by diving into the Enneagram with certified Enneagram coach, Abbey Howe (3w4). This channel aims to help you discover yourself through the dynamic lens of the Enneagram of Personality and other topics surrounding personalities like mental health, HSP, introversion, extraversion, MBTI, and love languages! #enneagramwithAbbey #enneagram
FIND YOUR TYPE:
Find Your Type Workshop with Abbey ➡️ abbeyhowe.com/...
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ENNEAGRAM TEST OPTIONS:
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Integrative 9 integrative.ie... ($60-$120)
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BOOKS I RECOMMEND:
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The Enneagram at Work* amzn.to/3MKOMek
CHAPTERS:
0:00 Intro
0:18 The State of the Enneagram Community
0:34 3 Ways I Believe We Can Improve
0:40 Thing I Hate #1: Limitations
1:12 How Culture Impacts Your Personality
2:00 The Toxic Belief About the Enneagram
2:15 Internal Motivations vs External Behaviors
2:32 Thing I Hate #2: Gatekeeping
3:10 Discouraging Open Dialogue
3:18 How the Enneagram Differs from MBTI (16 Personalities)
3:27 The Enneagram is a Communal Tool
3:30 Contemporary Enneagram Teachers
3:56 The Enneagram Reflects Diversity of Perspectives
4:00 The Importance of Having Multiple Enneagram Teachers
4:12 One of Many White Women Teaching the Ennea Online 👋
4:20 "The Enneagram for Black Liberation"
4:40 "The Road Back to You" and Ian Morgan Cron
5:01 My Favorite Caveat
5:14 Flowers Metaphor
5:23 Thing I Hate #3: Judgment
5:35 My Least Favorite Ennea Type
5:50 Suzanne Stabile on levels of health
6:15 Focus on YOU
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FTC DISCLAIMER:
This video is not sponsored! Links in this description marked with a * are affiliate links which means I may receive a small commission if you purchase something. There is no additional charge to you. Thank you for supporting my channel so I can continue to provide you with free content each week!
MUSIC:
Epidemic Sound - Dancing with the Devil
Music by Blue Sirens - Milk Tea - thmatc.co/?l=A...
Music by Naomi - Limbo - thmatc.co/?l=4...

Опубликовано:

14 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 45

@Jessicaunarex Год назад

I’ve been told that you can’t be a 4 if you wear the color yellow, and that a 4 would never say the word, ‘dude.’ These are RULES. 😂

@PatrickAshe41 Год назад

I bet I can guess who ;) ("A real 4 doesn't drive a sedan! I real 4 doesn't cough like that!" etc.)

@afilmbee Год назад

100% agree. i love typology and the enneagram is my favorite system. but god i hate interacting wit most of the people in the community. they think just because of ONE interaction with you they’ll know _everything_ about you and are quick to call you a mistype. i know myself internally and externally wayyyy better than some rando on the internet. there’s different types of triads and subtypes and tritypes and etc etc, not just brief interactions. i understand the enneagram well enough and i’m not an idiot, i know myself well enough to know that i’m me and not a mistype. thank you for this video, because you preached

@AbbeyHowe Год назад

❤️

@phoebep4688 Год назад

Thank you so much for bringing up the first point. I’m an ENFJ 3w4 and I had such a hard time typing myself because I didn’t have a lot of the external 3 traits. This is especially relevant because I’m neurodivergent. Because of that, I’m unable to naturally tune into social and group cues the ways 3s are « supposed to be able to do. » Realizing that type stereotypes aren’t the end all be all completely changed the way I thought about the Enneagram.

@AbbeyHowe Год назад

Absolutely! At the end of the day, it's about asking yourself *WHY* you do the things you do. If you don't _look_ like a stereotypical Type 3 (think Don from Mad Men), that doesn't mean that you aren't driven by the same desire, fear, weakness, and longing as an Enneagram 3.

@rundbaum Год назад

i'm enfj, too!! welcome to the 2% club. judy garland & dick cavett (that's what i always heard about it.) i'm the enthusiast wing 'entetainer.' &, yep, that's me. it's scary how all these pieces come together . . .

@EmberInk Год назад

I'm an ENFJ too-and an 8w7 😅 It's like having two polar opposite people inside my brain. I never fully fit the stereotypes for either, but I'm definitely both. Somehow.

@darkcreatureinadarkroom1617 Год назад

Your Enneagram type may describe your most salient traits, but it's just one part of the human experience. If you haven't identified at least _once_ with all 9 types, you're doing humanity wrong.

@AbbeyHowe Год назад

we can definitely see ourselves in all 9 personality types!

@triforce7464 Год назад

I've been bingewatching "Med School Insiders" on youtube and their "so you want to be" series. You really can relate each medical specialty to an enneagram type and it would be entertaining to see a video on that here.

@AbbeyHowe Год назад

Ooh cool idea!

@davidlengyel8435 Год назад

so well said. This system is truly there to bring self awareness and compassion. To use it as a tool to hate or judge is truly a shame...

@Care2WorldBuild Год назад

I am so glad you gave insight that there is a larger human experience we can use this tool to become healthier for. I felt a struggle as no one would pair or talk about Type 8, and 6 or 9 together. It seemed if that was a family that it would mean difficulty or even disaster. However, today's video made it so much more hopeful to see that becoming a healthier 6, 8, and 9 can bring closeness, well-being, safety, and connection even though motivations may be different. Guess I was only focusing on unhealthy ways of expression in Enneagrams 6, 8, and 9. While you note not being an authority, you do a great job teaching.

@alexkay6676 Год назад

On your first point, I always recommend doing multiple different personality tests. Each one is another aspect of yourself. I started getting into all this with MBTI. I then also got into Enneagram. Then I've also done DiSC, Attitudinal Psyche, Temperament, Big 5, and so on. Each one adds a paint stroke to the canvas that is you. An example of a combination of your first and third point, my Mom is an INTJ. She has felt that that is 100% right, but she has felt like she's different. We recently found someone talking about INTJ 1w9s and how it changes aspects of INTJ. She read that and was floored by how accurate and insightful it was. Now, take that and stack all other personality tests on top of that. I did the math on every combination of personality tests (that I know of) outcomes and it comes out to 66,588,770,304. That's far more than there are people, so each 9w1 isn't going to be the same as the others.

@briaweea02 Год назад

I feel the same way about the Enneagram system as I do about Astrology, and that its purpose is to help you be more conscious about why you behave or feel the way you do so you can challenge that within yourself! We are all extremely multidimensional beings and every aspect of our lives influences who we are and how that manifests in us. I’m a very bubbly 7w6, but I am also a Black woman, have major depressive disorder, and am chronically ill. That directly influences how I experience life and express myself and that may not look like a textbook 7. Thank you for that book recommendation!! I don’t see a lot of intersectional resources in personality communities, so that means a lot

@tuckerkunkle9137 Год назад

OHMYGOSH THIS HELPED ME SO MUCH im a type 8 but i have many issues and things type 8s are not supposed to struggle with, and it always made me confused especially considering how everyone says "YOU ARENT A TYPE 8 IF YOU DO THIS" or " YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO BE TYPE 8" even though i KNOW i am an 8. its so relieving to see this

@AbbeyHowe Год назад

❤❤❤❤❤

@jenofire8724 Год назад

Love this video! I also hate when other people try to say I’m not the enneagram type that I am, and say I mistyped myself. Person trying to tell me what type I am: “no, you’re a 6w5, definitely not a 5w4” Me: 😑

@Ryhillchibulls Год назад

No you're a 3w2

@jenofire8724 11 месяцев назад

@@Ryhillchibulls not sure if you’re being a troll or if you’re being sarcastic…😐

@kristofferjohnsen4002 Год назад

The ONLINE enneagram community is toxic. But the real enneagram community is in my experience one of the best communities i have come across.

@invadertifxiii Год назад

Omg yess I've had people try to convince me I'm a 9 and not a 4

@PatrickAshe41 Год назад

Thank you. I rant about these kinds of things often on my own channel. Specifically my experiences, which (in a nutshell) involved being dogpiled by an "official" group on three different social media sites for months.

@Hannerloo 10 месяцев назад

Thank you. This video was so comforting to come across because the BS I come across can really turn someone off or away from the Enneagram.

@user-bg5im5kl7b 11 месяцев назад

As a Japanese this is very true that Japan has a big thing about being silent. This is why I don’t share my opinions much. Even if asked

@jenicacrail9989 Год назад

This video is just absolute gold. You are so right. Thank you for this!

@AbbeyHowe Год назад

You're so welcome!

@SunsetDragon Год назад

I 100% agree with all three of these, especially the last one! I think something people forget is that there are 9 numbers for a reason. There isn't 9 numbers and the special Lasagna Number 10, because we don't need a Lasagna number. Think about it. If we got rid of any number, we'd be screwed. You might be thinking that we'd be fine, but getting rid of a number wouldn't just get rid of people who have that number as their MAIN number, it'd get rid of ALL INSTANCES of that number. For example, getting rid of number 1 would get rid of all desire to do something "right" for the sake of being right. Getting rid of 8 would get rid of any desire of independence, and getting rid of 9 would remove any desire of getting along. Of course, these are all super rushed and inaccurate examples, haha, but I hope you see my point!! We'd be lost without the whole enneagram, unaltered

@Dani-jo9yr Год назад

Bravo Abbey, as ENFJ -8 imagine that ‘mess’🫨😵‍💫😂

@reksnote Год назад

Love this video. I hope more people leave this video with this kind of mindset going forward. I think most of us can say we somewhat exhibited this kind of behavior over time…

@All1shaR1v3ra Год назад

Great stuff, thank you. Good to know as someone relatively new to Enneagram. Also I love your hair cut Abbey

@AbbeyHowe Год назад

Thank you!

@maryjanebrant Год назад

Always helpful, Abbey. Let's all get healthy.

@AbbeyHowe Год назад

Cheers 🥂 to that

@KendrixTermina Год назад

it can be really frustrating to have this thing that has all this potential to give you insight & then theres people who discard all of that in favor of making a pissing contest out of it. but i guess nothing is so intrinsically pure that people cant find out a way to use it as a club to beat others with.

@arcsballss Год назад

yeah fr though. i have had an identity crisis because people have said that isfps can’t be sx7’s. i never read naranjo’s subtypes but i think that happened because the people on pdb who said that were relating that specific system to mbti (in terms of cognitive functions). at least i know now that my tritype is 478 lol.

@bellaswan5925 Год назад

Yeah the correlation between enneagram and mbti it's complex because i don't know anyone who has actually done tests and studies connecting them (at least i don't know any) so a lot of the talk about not being able to be one type in the mbti and the enneagram is based on nothing but opinions of people who don't even know what they are talking about and people on PDB take these shit way to serious. Anyway i don't think pdb is a good place for typing yourself.

@sirbradfordofhousejones Год назад

I often feel unsatisfied with bizarre combination of the fluidity and convenient malleability of the enneagram system, yet overly rigid behavior-focused diagnoses of the community. Like… which is it!? Is this a tool… or is this a complex set of binary rules that prohibits behaviors or combinations of certain MBTI/socionics types based on subtypes/wings/etc? I find this perplexing and it makes it extremely challenging to find my place in it.

@rundbaum Год назад

oooooh! i love your hair. i just did that to my hair, the other day (amateur hour!) but it did get a brassy shine on my brown & i was very proud of that. people are SILLY!! falling into the 'dichotomy box' makes everything feel neat & tidy--"self improvement" is not supposed to be 'neat & tidy.' it's supposed to be something else . . .

@AbbeyHowe Год назад

i've never dyed my own hair so PROPS TO YOU because I would be too scared it would turn green or fall off or something 😂 and YES, love that term *'dichotomy box'*. the journey should be messy... otherwise you're probably not doing it right haha

@goldenlira1 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing, Abbey

@Catcatcathat Год назад

Abbey, how do I figure out my Enneagram type? I am stuck between 3 and 5. I have both fears and desires of those two types but I don’t know whether that’s possible or I am just overthinking

@Marcus_W1x Год назад

I meant to watch this video sooner. Now I'm 3 weeks late, but I agree with you Abbey; even though you kinda stereotype us 4 as weirdos like Johnny Depp, and my weird uncle Davey. Why not do a 4w3 character?

@macayleangelina9892 5 месяцев назад

Allegedly you can’t be an Enneagram type 4 if you’re MBTI is a Thinking type. I guess because 4s are too moody and irrational to be thinking types and thinking types are heartless robots who cannot compute the creativity and/or artistic expression of a 4. - ENTP 4w5